The Miracle On Ice: 40 Years Later ( As Remembered By Bernie Sanders)

On February 22, 1980, a team of underdog American Olympians shocked the world by defeating the World Champion hockey team from the Soviet Union. This week marks the 40 year anniversary of The Miracle on Ice, and there have been many celebrations and remembrances on TV.

Then, there are those supporters of the Russians and communism itself who were shocked and appalled when their team lost. Today, we hear from a die-in-the-wool supporter of this tired, old ideology. Incredibly, he is the Democrat front-runner candidate for U.S. President, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders:

Yes, it was a terrible shock to learn that the fantastic Soviets lost to those dirty capitalists from The United States of America. It was a travesty that probably led to the tearing down of the Berlin Wall, and life as we knew it.

I have always favored the Communists, even taking my wife on our Moscow honeymoon in 1988 back when I was Mayor of Burlington Vermont. 

So what if Communists sent thousands of Refuseniks to gulags, executed others for minor offenses, and made private property illegal? Fidel Castro's Cuba enjoyed a terrific literacy rate!!! 

Also, Castro made Cuba's healthcare system the envy of THE WORLD! This incredible leader knew that HEALTHCARE IS A RIGHT!!! We need to take it from the filthy rich an' give it all to the poor!!!!

It wasn't 'The Miracle on Ice', It was more like 'The Travesty on Ice!!!!' If I could, I'd tax those capitalist Americans of at least 2 of their goals!!! Those American hockey players could afford to go to college, which isn't fair!!!! They were probably rich kids!!! What about all our children who can't afford tuition!!! If you ask me, rich college hockey players should pay their fair share!!!!!!

That evil capitalist coach Herb Brooks walked into the locker room during intermission and told his players, 'This (game) is yours. TAKE IT!!!' To that bastard I say, 'No, EVERYTHING IS OURS, WE'LL TAKE IT!!!! WE'LL TAKE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE!!!!!'' 

Just thinking about this game makes me so mad I could just pull Donald Trump's jersey over his head and start punching, but I don't want to be put in the penalty box.

After I win the presidency, we will take Trump voters and put them in re-education camps, and make them pay for it! Feel the bern!!!!

Thanks, Bernie. Now go away.