State Of The Union Preview

 Mr. Vice President, Madame Speaker, and Members of Congress.....

I am pleased to say that the State of The Union is STRONG!!!! (Republicans cheer and Democrats 'boo' angrily)....

America has made a great comeback. We are making trade deals that are fair to American workers, and I am happy to announce that unemployment is at an all-time, record low!(Normal, happy Republican members of Congress cheer the news, while the Democrats sit on their hands and scowl angrily.)

Right now, we are bringing some of our brave soldiers home, and America is at peace with the rest of the world. (Many Republicans applaud, while anti-military Democrat Trump-haters hold their nose.)

This week, my administration will introduce a new proposal dealing with the sky-rocketing cost of prescription drugs. Every member of Congress will receive a copy of my plan, and I hope that this year we can lower costs for all Americans. (Republicans cheer their leader, while Democrats laugh derisively,)

The American people are watching us, and it's my hope that their government will work on the people's business, and not waste everyone's time on more impeachments, although impeachment has been great for my poll numbers (Happy Republicans laugh, while Democrats sneer angrily).

I am running for re-election. This summer, the other party will pick my opponent. I hope that they can behave like adults.(He turns and winks at Speaker Pelosi).

The Republicans laugh and cheer, while Nancy Pelosi chews on her dentures.

Then, President Trump mentions honored guests seated with First Lady Melania Trump. He will probably invite victims of illegal alien gang violence and perhaps a former convict given a second chance.

America is a nation of immigrants wanting to better their lives, but America is also a nation of common-sense laws dealing with immigration. America is a lands of freedom, where the people control their own borders, so I propose that the government delivers protection to the people. My administration is delivering on our promise to control our borders, but the job isn't done. 

I am asking Congress to fully fund this. (The Republicans applaud, while the Democrats sit on their hands.)

Yes, the State of the Union is STRONG, but we have work to do. If the Democrats will join us, we can accomplish more great things. Thank you, and may God Bless America. 

(The Republicans cheer wildly, while the Democrats 'boo' angrily. MN. Representative Ilhan Omar's head spins.)