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| Santa Claus |
I decided to write this letter because I really can't take your bitching and whining anymore. As you know, I know when you have been naughty or nice. I also know what your husband has done to your wonderful country.
When your husband promised 'fundamental change', many Americans didn't know that he was going to transform it into a divided, third world craphole. And so, for the last eight years I've put a reindeer turd in his Christmas stocking. Your creepy husband has done so much damage that I don't know what I'm going to put in his stocking this year. I'm so glad the ass-hole will be gone in January.
As for you, I'm so damn sick of you bad-mouthing America. I get letters from kids across the country cursing you over your hideous, almost inhumane school lunch program. Where in the Hell do you get off complaining about ANYTHING? You have lived rent-free at the most exclusive residence in the world. You have a staff serving your every desire. You live like a damn queen while little Christan and Yazidi kids are raped and murdered by inbred creep Muslim bastards while your idiot husband attacks Christians in America.
So, you say that 'hope is gone' with the election of Trump. Tell that to the residents of your gun-free Democrat-controlled paradise Chicago.
You are so screwed up I'm thinking about sticking a one-way ticket to Aleppo inside your Christmas stocking. The world despises complainers, and I'm profoundly sick of you and that husband of yours.
You need help.
Yours truly,
Santa Claus
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