Wednesday, November 30, 2016
An RSR Exclusive: A Report From Hillary Campaign Headquarters
At 5:00 p.m., the candidate is upbeat, and her campaign staff has uncorked the champagne.
At 7:00 p.m., some numbers are dribbling in, and an already angry Hillary has cancelled the celebratory fireworks.
At 9:30 p.m., Florida has gone to the opponent. Hillary berates campaign spokesman Robbie Mook.
At 11:00 p.m., Hillary's blue wall begins to crumble. Pennsylvania is uncomfortably close, and Ohio is gone.
At 12 midnight, Hillary has been drinking heavily. As the electoral map turns red, she gets up from the couch and screams at campaign director John Podesta, yelling:
'I'M GOING TO BE INDICTED!!! IF I'M INDICTED, YOU'RE ALL GOING DOWN WITH ME!!!!'
At 12:30 a.m., Clinton physically attacks Podesta. Several staffers restrain her, and her on-site doctor gives her a sedative.
At 1:00 a.m., Pennsylvania goes red. Clinton sends Podesta out to speak to her supporters.
At 2:00 a.m., Clinton falls asleep in a drunken stuper. Trump is declared the winner.
At 2:30 a.m., An unidentified Hillary Clinton voice impressionist with the campaign calls President-elect Trump to concede the election.