Monday, August 31, 2015
Black Lives Matter Takes Over The Minnesota State Fair
The evil racists had the unmitigated gall to re-open the gates, and allow people to enjoy themselves.
The protesters appeared dissatisfied with the number of food choices at the fair, chanting "Pigs in a blanket, Fry 'em like bacon." Your bushy-tailed correspondent looked for the Pigs In A Blanket Booth, but couldn't find it.
The protesters say that the state fair discriminates against Black-Americans. I was surprised to learn that you couldn't work or enjoy the fair if you were Black. That's so racist!
We need to fundamentally change how The Minnesota State Fair operates, and let Black Lives Matter run it next year. I can just see it now:
They should build ANOTHER light rail line through the midway, so that hoodlums and troublemakers can milk you of your money. The Minnesota State Fair should do away with anything relating to farming or agriculture, such as showing off your vegetables or dairy products. Black slaves worked on farms a long, long time ago.
We should wipe away with anything relating to this shameful, traumatic time in America's past.
Currently, you can still see White performers at The Midway. Def Leppard performed on Day One. This has to stop. Anywhere you can go and see music by a White artist must be a terrible affront to our friends at Black Lives Matter.
It is simply racist to go ANYWHERE in Obama's America and not hear loud, pumping hip-hop brow-beating your eardrums. Rap should be mandatory concert fare at the fair. Anything Whitey likes must be banned, and everything WE like must be mandatory. Anything else is clearly racist.
They should also change the food. Everything must now be fried in FATBACK. Using anything else to fry food would clearly be discriminatory. There could be trouble if Michelle Obama finds out that people are enjoying fatty foods. She might ban anything that someone may be enjoying, and force everyone to eat rabbit food from her 'victory garden'. We also need a seminar to learn about the trauma of living in a 'food desert.'
Also, we need to stop White people from happily showing off their pumpkins and rutabagas. The Minnesota State Fair needs to invite The Reverend Al Sharpton, or someone shouting through a bullhorn at all the happy White people. The Black Panthers should man the booths.
Black Lives Matter had a die-in on Day One. Clearly, it should be mandatory for ALL ATTENDEES to participate in a die-in that will occur at the Minnesota State Fair EVERY year from now on. If you don't participate, you should be kept out.
Obviously, you're not down for the struggle against all the psychotic cops murdering completely innocent Black-Americans. You need to get your mind right, Whitey.
There probably should be several booths dedicated to victims of gun and police violence, where victims like the 'gentle giant' Michael Brown are honored.
There are many ways that Black Lives Matter can make The Minnesota State Fair a more inviting, diverse place for Black-Americans. We could start by scaring all the White people away.