Thursday, August 20, 2015

An RSR Exclusive: A Message From Donald Trump

Real Estate mogul, TV star, and GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump continues to lead in the polls, and many conservative leaders and pundits continue to be mortified or amused by this. Millions of mainstream conservatives find his blunt straight-talk very appealing, as the RINO establishment continues to conspire with liberal extremists to rid the landscape of him and his strange hair.

Mainstream conservatives love to see someone stand up for the people. He doesn't back down. He doesn't shut up. He's on attack mode whenever he's attacked. To his supporters, his past doesn't matter. What matters is that he wants to make America great again. For millions of Americans who are sick of being punished by the little, pencil-necked tyrant from Kenya, his rhetoric resonates with many, many Americans.

The RedSquirrel Report is pleased that Mr. Trump sends us this message to our readers:

Dear ReadSquirrel Report Readers,

America is ran by idiots and losers, and I want to change that. This is why I am running for President of the United States. My friends, I know that you want to make America great again.

We are being robbed and beaten by the countries of the world, while our stupid leaders give our enemies the rope that will hang us. This can't go on anymore. 

Millions of criminal illegal aliens are being sent here by crooked governments, and they are bankrupting us. What America needs is someone who won't take this crap anymore. That is why I propose that Mexico build AND pay for a wall across the border. Don't ask my HOW I will force them to build and pay for the wall. Just believe in me when I say that My wall will be the classiest wall ever, and it will be so great you won't believe it. And Mexico will pay for it. 

Many conservatives are questioning my motives. They say I'm a big self-promoter, and that it's foolish to support a lifelong Democrat who keeps changing his party affiliation. My friends, I am a businessman in New York. You HAVE TO be a Democrat to deal with The Empire State. It's like a protection racket. They ask me why I contributed to Hillary. Look, I got her to attend my last wedding. If that isn't getting maximum bang for your buck, I don't know what is.

Idiots like George Will and Ben Shapiro aren't on my team. Maybe they're just not very bright. I went to the best schools, and now I am filthy rich. Are they filthy rich? Where do they get off criticizing my candidacy? Then there's that idiot who called me a 'grunting ape'. Has he ever built a casino with solid gold toilets? Probably not.

My friends, we are losing to dictators, and are getting creamed with terrible trade deals. If we don't turn this around, America will soon look like Obama's home country. I'm not even sure where he's from, but it's gotta suck. Enough's enough.

Vote for me, and America will be great again. 

The Don.

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