Top 10 Excuses Why Obama Didn't Attend The Paris Unity Rally

Over 40 world leaders joined 3.7 million Parisians for the big peace rally yesterday, but our Dear Leader couldn't make it. Here are his top 10 excuses why he couldn't attend:

10. Our Narcissist-in-Chief couldn't make it all about HIM.
  9. 0bama isn't a world leader.
  8. He was trapped under a 5-lb barbell.
  7. He was busy practicing his putting.
  6. Nobody told him there was a rally.
  5. His boss Valerie Jarrett told him not to go.
  4. He thought that he had used up his frequent-flier miles.
  3. He didn't want to anger all his Muslim brothers.
  2. He was hard at work ruining America.
  1. There might have been something good on ESPN


Thanks to @HollyRFisher for number 8. I thought it was funny.