Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Obama's Memorial Day Address
First of all, I want to remind the American people that I KILLED OSAMA BIN LADEN....
Some payed the ultimate price for your freedom. Yeah, whatever. Soon, my administration will end this holiday, and replace it with something that glorifies ME.
I want to give a special shout-out to The First Lady. Today is Memorial Day, so she may actually see an American flag. The red, white, and blue offends her, so she has a special burden to bear today. It is our hope that The Red, White, and Blue will soon be replaced with The Off-Red, White, and Obama. Michelle would like that.
Today I honor The Fallen by lying about the four brave Americans I Obandoned as they died at the consulate at Benghazi. Under my direction, the government schools will successfully erase this country's racist, homophobic history, and replace it with Common Core, mmmm.....mmmm.....mmmm.....
Under MY leadership, the next generation will never know that 'freedom isn't free.' Freedom is such a passe' notion, anyways. FREE OBAMA PHONES FOR EVERYBODY!
All of the soldiers killed throughout America's long history were victims of workplace violence. I think that their families should sue the military. After they are sued into bankruptcy and their memory is buried forever, my personal civilian defence gestapo should take its place.
Have I mentioned that I KILLED OSAMA BIN LADEN YET? By the time I'M done, I'll REPLACE Memorial Day with 'BHO Killed OBL Day'.
In closing, I want The American People to celebrate Memorial Day by visiting your local GM dealer, and buying a green car. After I'm done here, your Indonesian/ Kenyan despot will enjoy the remainder of the day by barbecuing a dog.
God Bless America!