And Now, Some Really Gay News

As we bid a fond farewell to June, also known now as LGBT Pride Month, your bushy-tailed correspondent looks back at the month that was.

LGBT Pride Month actually got off to a running start in April, as professional basketball player Jason Collins came out, announcing to the world that he takes it to the hole.

On the 13th, The Democrat-ran Minnesota State Legislature voted to legalize same-sex marriage. This week, The Supreme Court struck down The Defence Of Marriage Act, and also overturned California's Proposition 8.

Finally, Minneapolis Mayor RT Rybak announced that on August 1, he will be personally officiating 40 same-sex marriage ceremonies.

We get it, RT. You really, really, really, really, REALLY like gays.

Is Nancy Pelosi Possessed By An Unclean Spirit?

On July 4, 1776, our founding fathers pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor in adopting The Declaration of Independence. These incredible individuals risked everything for freedom.

This week, unhinged ex-Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said that Americans should celebrate Obamacare on July 4.

"Next week, when we celebrate Independence Day we'll also be observing health independence. This week marks one year since The Supreme Court upheld The Affordable Care Act. It captures the spirit of our founders. The spirit they wrote in The Declaration of Independence: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

Pelosi failed to mention the 16,000 new IRSS agents Obama has hired to force the American people into compliance. Obamacare remains the worst piece of legislation in this country's history, robbing the American people of their freedom as well as their money.

When Ms. Pelosi speaks, I don't know if she's deliberately insulting all freedom-loving Americans, or if she's just putting us all on.

It almost seems as if this weird creature is possessed by an unclean spirit. Perhaps she should be committed.

This Picture Says It All

                   

It looks like somebody's had enough of "hopey-changey."

Janet Napolitano: Tom Francois Is A Threat To National Security

We here at The RedSquirrel Report are always happy to help our government when there's a threat to our national security. Today, we welcome Director of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano, who has this word of warning concerning a truly grave threat to the country. Take it away, Big Sis:

Thank you, RedSquirrel. Today, I address you, our subjects, concerning a serious threat to our Dear Leader's regime. His name is Tom Francois.



right-wing troublemaker Tom Francois

                                                
Mr. Francois is dangerous because he dares to criticize Dear Leader on Twitter. We have sent two SS (Secret Service) agents to his residence. We wanted to tear his property to pieces, but the right-wing maniac told our agents that he had nothing to hide.

Mr. Francois has the unmitigated gall of photo-shopping tasteless, mean-spirited images of Dear Leader & Queen Michelle, which he tweets almost daily. We are afraid that one of his 'followers' on Twitter may try to harm King Barack, which could ignite an orgy of bloodshed and carnage from sea to shining sea.

Here at Homeland Security, we ignore Muslim terrorists, and harass patriots and those associated with the dreaded Tea Party movement. Mr. Francois is guilty of acting in a highly-conservative manner. We ignore the nightly bloodbath of gunfire in Chicago but harass Second Amendment advocates.

We believe that Mr. Francois supports The Second Amendment. In fact, he told our SS (Secret Service) agents that he is a gun-owner. The monster.

Mr. Francois is a cabinet builder residing in Phoenix, Arizona. We believe that he hides bombs in those cabinets he builds....and probably assault weapons. We're also pretty sure that he has made a political contribution to our enemies.

He may have even met with the evil Koch Brothers.

We have been watching Mr. Francois for a while now. While we were monitoring him, The Tsarnaev Brothers and their handlers were carrying out the assault on The Boston Marathon. Whoops. Our bad.

We are asking his neighbors to spy on him. If anyone out there has a photo of Mr. Francois plotting with a 'Timothy McVeigh-type', please send your photo(s) to me.

Your country and the regime will appreciate it. Thank you.

Janet Napolitano, Director of Homeland Security.

Meet Tanner Boyle: GOP Advisor

In the 1970's, reporters asked Former President Jimmy Carter's teenage daughter Amy her opinion on nuclear arms. Democrats love to use children to make Republicans look like war-mongering, heartless ogres, so we here at The RedSquirrel Report thought that we would ask a child his thoughts on the issues of the day.

Meet Tanner Boyle. He's an all-American kid who loves baseball. He also has some interesting advice for The GOP.

We asked him if Tea Party Republicans on Capitol Hill should compromise on 'comprehensive immigration reform' with The Democrats and The Gang of Eight. He advised The GOP to tell The Democrats this:

"Hey you Democrats can take your 'immigration reform' and shove it straight up your...."

Then, we asked Tanner what give his advice to a GOP that wants to win in 2014. He responded:

"Y' know, You Republicans would probably start winning again if you would just stand up for yerselves."

Next, we asked him about Benghazi, Fast and Furious, and The IRS 'scandal.' Tanner said:

"If those Republican CRUDS cared about America, they'd IMPEACH Obama's CRUDDY ASS."

Thank you, Tanner Boyle.

Miss Utah Steals The Show

Miss Connecticut Erin Brady won the Miss USA Contest last Sunday, but it was Miss Utah Marissa Powell who 'stole the show', with her great flub during the question portion of the contest.

Nene Leakes of the reality series The Real Housewives of Atlanta asked this question:

"A recent report shows in 40% of American families with children, women are the primary earners, yet they continue to earn less than men. What does that say about society?"

Miss Utah Marissa Powell responded with this:

"I think we can relate this back to education, and how we are continuing to try to strive....to....(long pause)


figure out how to create jobs right now. That is the biggest problem. And I think, especially the men are....seen as the leaders of this, and so we need to see how to.

create education better. So that we can solve this problem. Thank you."

For a moment there, she made about as much sense as President Obama does when he's without his teleprompter. Of course, he would've blamed former President George W. Bush.

This Just In: Obama And His Minions Are Liars

This just in:

President Obama lies like a priceless Persian rug lying on a rich man's floor.

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton lies like the man with slick-back hair who sold me that Ford.

Attorney General Eric Holder lies like a penny in a parking lot at the grocery store.

Susan Rice lies like a pine tree in the back yard after last week's storm.

and, Director of National Security James Clapper lies like a coon dog basking in the sunshine on my porch.

It comes so natural to them.