Darryl Issa (Republican-CA) , the grievously over-worked Chairman of The House Of Representatives Oversight And Government Reform Committee, hasn't slept in about five months.
"I just need some sleep!", the groggy California Republican said to reporters last Friday. "Damn, the Obama Regime is so corrupt, I think that my job is killing me!"
Today, Issa has subpoenaed Obama's Attorney General, Eric Holder, who is deeply involved in The Obama Regime's 'Fast And Furious' scandal.
"My staff has dumped some files on Solyndra, Light Squared, and several other, on-going investigations on my desk. Actually, I need four or five more cabinets. It's been so long since I've had a decent night of sleep, my eyes feel like they've shrunk," Issa said.
Chairman Issa wishes that The Regime would just give his committee a couple of days to catch up. Several of Issa's over-worked staffers are complaining, stating that Obama acts as if 'the laws don't apply to him'.
"If Obama, Holder and the rest of The Regime could just take a couple of days off, maybe go on a nice. long vacation, then me and my people can finish work on one, maybe two of the ongoing investigations," the California representative stated hopefully, loosening his tie.
"I need a scorecard to keep up with all of this non-stop corruption."
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
IN YOUR FACE, DRUDGE REPORT!!!!
The RedSquirrel Report has just reached the 1,000th page view mark! The mighty squirrel has roared.
In February, the new media powerhouse made it's debut. From the very beginning, The RedSquirrel Report has investigated and reported on the biggest stories of 2011. It was our expose' of Governor Crazy Eyes Mark Dayton, and his letter to the GOP leaders proving that it was HE holding the state of Minnesota hostage, that blew the lid off the 3-week state shutdown.
We at The RedSquirrel Report are never afraid of giving the corrupt and the greedy their media colonoscopy. It was just last month that we discovered the bug up Al Gore's A$$.
Also, the greatest political commentators on the national scene contribute their pearls of wisdom to only The RedSquirrel Report. ('Why I Support Ron Paul For President' By Barry Manilow').
Also, The RedSquirrel Report is second-to-none in it's reporting on the ongoing corruption, criminality, and ineptitude of The Obama Regime.
Stay tuned . And to our readers, thank you.
J. Redsquirrel
In February, the new media powerhouse made it's debut. From the very beginning, The RedSquirrel Report has investigated and reported on the biggest stories of 2011. It was our expose' of Governor Crazy Eyes Mark Dayton, and his letter to the GOP leaders proving that it was HE holding the state of Minnesota hostage, that blew the lid off the 3-week state shutdown.
Also, the greatest political commentators on the national scene contribute their pearls of wisdom to only The RedSquirrel Report. ('Why I Support Ron Paul For President' By Barry Manilow').
Stay tuned . And to our readers, thank you.
J. Redsquirrel
Last Friday Night....
....our cartoonist, Joe, was hard at work when our favorite Democrat, Dick Franson, came by for some dinner.
The venerable Vietnam War veteran disclosed that he will be printing up some campaign lawn signs, as he gears up for his primary challenge against first-term incumbent, Sen. Amy Kloubachar.
Joe the cartoonist spoke with Mr. Franson briefly, and suggested that the two of them make an appearance at the OccupyMN demonstration.
"Yeah, we could print up some signs that read: 'Get A Job', "Joe laughed.
The venerable Vietnam War veteran disclosed that he will be printing up some campaign lawn signs, as he gears up for his primary challenge against first-term incumbent, Sen. Amy Kloubachar.
Joe the cartoonist spoke with Mr. Franson briefly, and suggested that the two of them make an appearance at the OccupyMN demonstration.
"Yeah, we could print up some signs that read: 'Get A Job', "Joe laughed.
Roseanne Takes Her Reign Of Terror On The Road
Former comedienne Roseanne Barr takes her vanity presidential candidacy on the road this week. It was a week ago when The Red Queen herself appeared on Russia Today w/ Max Keiser, and suggested that guilty, rich capitalists should be beheaded.
The candidate will make stops at the Danvers State Hospital For The Criminally Insane, as well as the Lunatic Asylum on Blackwell's Island, where she is sure to receive a loud, raucous applause from her base supporters.
From there, she is scheduled to speak at The Baltimore State Hospital For The Criminally Insane.
She will end the week with a Hollywood fundraiser.
The candidate will make stops at the Danvers State Hospital For The Criminally Insane, as well as the Lunatic Asylum on Blackwell's Island, where she is sure to receive a loud, raucous applause from her base supporters.
From there, she is scheduled to speak at The Baltimore State Hospital For The Criminally Insane.
She will end the week with a Hollywood fundraiser.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
What Do You Get When You Cross The Star Wars Catina Bar Scene And The Island Of Misfit Commies?
As I watched the 'Occupy Wall Street' demonstration in New York, it made me wonder 'What ever became of Conan O'Brien's roving canine correspondent, Triumph The Insult Comic Dog?' I don't know about you, but I think that a report from Triumph is what this country needs to take it's mind off its impending Communist revolution.
I imagine the report going SOMETHING LIKE THIS....
Opening shot: Triumph stands, with a microphone 'in his paw', before the sea of unkempt demonstrators.
"What do you get when you cross The Star Wars Catina bar scene and The Island Of Misfit Commies? You get the Occupy Wall Street demonstrations. You can just feel the hatred for capitalism, as well as the whiff of anti-semitism. Just look at the sea of human debris. This is a great demonstration....FOR ME TO POOP ON!" (camera pans, panorama view of demonstrators). '
Triumph finds a topless woman with a moustache. "Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Josephine Stalin". (laughter).
Triumph finds a victim....I mean, a demonstrator, and asks him, "So, what brings you out?" The demonstrator is incoherent, yapping about the Koch Brothers and the Jews, or something. Finally, Triumph insults the demonstrator (laughter), and gives him a parting gift basket.(soap and deodorant. more laughter.)
Triumph talks to one of the organizers. The doofus decries corporate America, all the while using an i-pod. Triumph follows him into a McDonald's bathroom.(another corporation. more laughter).
Triumph ridicules some of the placards and signs, then signs off.
Before I sign off, I have a question. Does anybody out there have a red squirrel hand puppet for sale?
I imagine the report going SOMETHING LIKE THIS....
Opening shot: Triumph stands, with a microphone 'in his paw', before the sea of unkempt demonstrators.
"What do you get when you cross The Star Wars Catina bar scene and The Island Of Misfit Commies? You get the Occupy Wall Street demonstrations. You can just feel the hatred for capitalism, as well as the whiff of anti-semitism. Just look at the sea of human debris. This is a great demonstration....FOR ME TO POOP ON!" (camera pans, panorama view of demonstrators). '
Triumph finds a topless woman with a moustache. "Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Josephine Stalin". (laughter).
Triumph finds a victim....I mean, a demonstrator, and asks him, "So, what brings you out?" The demonstrator is incoherent, yapping about the Koch Brothers and the Jews, or something. Finally, Triumph insults the demonstrator (laughter), and gives him a parting gift basket.(soap and deodorant. more laughter.)
Triumph talks to one of the organizers. The doofus decries corporate America, all the while using an i-pod. Triumph follows him into a McDonald's bathroom.(another corporation. more laughter).
Triumph ridicules some of the placards and signs, then signs off.
Before I sign off, I have a question. Does anybody out there have a red squirrel hand puppet for sale?
Minnesota Vikings Eliminated
Wow, that was a mighty short NFL season! After only four games, The Minnesota Vikings are already eliminated from play-off contention. In week one, the team suffered a second-half meltdown against the San Diego Chargers. In week 2, the team suffered a second-half meltdown against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. In week three, the team suffered an even bigger second-half meltdown against division rival, the Detroit Lions and lost in overtime.
Last week, the Vikes did put together four quarters of........consistently crappy play vs. the godawful Kansas City Chiefs, and lost again.
....And the hometown team hasn't even played division champs Chicago Bears or last year's Superbowl Champs, the evil Green Bay Packers, yet. There's 4 more losses.
Do yourself a favor, Minnesota. Don't even watch the rest of the season. You will only be wasting your time.
Last week, the Vikes did put together four quarters of........consistently crappy play vs. the godawful Kansas City Chiefs, and lost again.
....And the hometown team hasn't even played division champs Chicago Bears or last year's Superbowl Champs, the evil Green Bay Packers, yet. There's 4 more losses.
Do yourself a favor, Minnesota. Don't even watch the rest of the season. You will only be wasting your time.
Report: Pizza Is Killing You!
I was listening to Limbaugh today, and he noted that these Occupy Wall Street demonstrations were happening at a time when a GOP presidential candidate with close ties to Wall Street, Mitt Romney, was still leading in the polls. Of course, the state-controlled news media is still doing the bidding of The Messiah.
Many in the drive-by news media are busy smearing Texas Governor Rick Perry, with never-ending charges of RACISM.
Recently, a third candidate has climbed into contention, and has even won the recent Florida Straw Poll- former head of Godfathers Pizza, Herman Cain.
I am just wondering when the drive-bys will begin their all-out assault on Mr. Cain. If Rasmussen releases a poll, stating that the pizza guy leads Obama, you will be seeing the following headline soon:
REPORT: PIZZA IS KILLING YOU
Then, if Mr. Cain becomes the Republican nominee, we will all see an avalanche of reports from The Department of Health that will report that pizza damages the arteries more than previously reported. The news media will follow Republican challenger Herman Cain in and out of his campaign bus, and protesters with pre-printed signs will shout "KILLER!"
Then, the drive-bys will ask The Messiah about this, and he will promise to save America from the evil pizza man.
Many in the drive-by news media are busy smearing Texas Governor Rick Perry, with never-ending charges of RACISM.
Recently, a third candidate has climbed into contention, and has even won the recent Florida Straw Poll- former head of Godfathers Pizza, Herman Cain.
I am just wondering when the drive-bys will begin their all-out assault on Mr. Cain. If Rasmussen releases a poll, stating that the pizza guy leads Obama, you will be seeing the following headline soon:
REPORT: PIZZA IS KILLING YOU
Then, if Mr. Cain becomes the Republican nominee, we will all see an avalanche of reports from The Department of Health that will report that pizza damages the arteries more than previously reported. The news media will follow Republican challenger Herman Cain in and out of his campaign bus, and protesters with pre-printed signs will shout "KILLER!"
Then, the drive-bys will ask The Messiah about this, and he will promise to save America from the evil pizza man.
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