Monday, February 29, 2016

The GOP Foodfight

You have to admit that this has been the wildest campaign season ever. Donald Trump has been the Bluto Blutarsky of The GOP. Oh look, he just pulled Carley Fiorina's pigtails. Hey, look over there. New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is pulling Florida Senator Marco Rubio's pants down.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz points out Trump's record, and now Trump is going to the playground monitor, threatening to sue Cruz. Now, The Donald is sticking a cream pie in Jeb Bush's face. This GOP campaign is a riot!

We haven't had this much fun since The Germans attacked Pearl Harbor (Don't stop me, I'm on a roll). Oh, look at this! Now, Ted Cruz is going Bluto on the always mellow Dr. Ben Carson. He just told unsuspecting voters that Carson is dropping out of the race! It's like the neurosurgeon had an acoustic guitar, and Cruz smashed it.

I propose that the Republican National Convention be turned into a giant toga party, and invite Otis Day and The Knights to perform.

In 2016, all of the energy is with The GOP. While the Democrats feature two, decrepit Socialist Progressive Communists yapping about their failed ideology, the Republicans are owning this election cycle. Just take a look at the TV ratings of their debates.

Hey look, Ted is holding Don's arms, and Marco is giving the billionaire a purple nurple. I wonder if they'll try to stick his face in the toilet.

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