President Obama's Attorney General Loretta Lynch takes a break from her stakeout of Obama critic Tom Francois' home to send us this important message to the American people:
Thank you, RedSquirrel,
In the wake of the mass murder at the Christmas office party in San Bernardino, and other recent examples of death-by-Muslim, I just would like to take this time to remind the American people that if you see anything suspicious, contact us at The U.S. Attorney General's Office, Department of Justice.
Don't contact your local police. They're mostly White, and take pleasure in killing innocent Black-Americans. We're in the process of taking over local police departments, and replacing them with 'Obama cops.'
If you see something, say something---unless they appear to be Muslim. The husband and wife that shot up that Christmas office party in San Bernardino, California were only exercising their freedom of religion. I am proud to say that my office is investigating the Christmas office party victims instead. It appears that the shooting victims deserved what they got for provoking their Muslim co-worker to violence.
And so, my boss is toying with the idea of banning Christmas office parties. Christians are responsible for so much violence, racism, and hate. The Christians at that Christmas office party probably made the shooters feel 'left out', and that's almost as bad as when a young person is bullied at school.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a very important case I'm working on right now. Right-wing Obama critic Tom Francois is on Twitter at this moment spreading his racist hate against Dear Leader, and I'm in a large black van with two secret service agents two blocks away, monitoring him.
Attorney General Loretta Lynch