And Now, The Barack Obama Polar Vortex Weather Report

Mother Nature is fighting back against global warming this week, as the Polar Vortex is bringing relief against climate change to much of America.

In Minnesota, wind chills of 60 below will definitely help in our battle against global warming, the greatest threat to this nation's national security. It's 20 below in Chicago. We're trying to get a wind-chill reading, but our weather equipment keeps shattering.

From North Dakota to the New England states, temperatures are more less where they should be, even though the current occupant of The White House has brought back the dirty coal industry, so we're expecting dangerously hot weather this Summer.

I urge everyone to stay indoors and wait for your welfare check. Stay inside and watch CNN and MSNBC! (singing: Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost tearing off your face....)

If you're one of those right-wingers with a job, you'll have to bundle up....I guess.

Back to you, Peter and Grace....................