Tuesday, May 10, 2016

An RSR Exclusive: Ted Cruz Suspends Candidacy Amid Revelations

One week ago, Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz dropped out of the race for the White House. It was revealed that his father Raphael helped Lee Harvey Oswald assassinate President John F. Kennedy.

In an RSR exclusive, we have dug even deeper into the Cruz family history, and discovered that Ted's great-grandfather Marco assisted in the assassination of president William McKinley on September 6, 1901.

We can also confirm that the presidential candidate IS INDEED The Zodiac Killer, that he has a dildo fetish, AND that and that he was also born in Canada.

We asked our secret source how he and his crack staff of fact-gatherers were able to extensively vet this candidate with such a troubling personal and family history.

"Me and my staff are proud of ourselves and the facts we dig up. We leave no stone unturned. We're especially proud of the great job we and the mainstream news media did in vetting presidential candidate Barack Obama.

Just wait until we show the world what we found about Republican front-runner and presumptive nominee. Donald Trump. It will make your head spin." 

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