This Is Two-Tiered Bullshit

We got this essay from a 9-year-old girl. I'm guessing that she's home-schooled. We here at RSR would like to meet her parents:

So, Biden's ultra-corrupt DOJ is so desperate to get Donald Trump they've indicted the Head of Maintenance at Mar-A-Lago, Carlos De Oliveira. 

An American who works with his hands.

On the same day, thry tried to get a judge in a Delaware courtroom to agree to a sneaky sweetheart deal for Joe Biden's infuence-peddling son, Hunter Biden. Filthy crooks.

They dropped charges against fraudster Sam Bankman-Fried, who stole almost half a Billion dollars from investors. They dropped the charges because Sam Bankman-Fried gave Democrats $90,000,000 in illegal campaign dark money.

Meanwhile, Normal, patriotic Americans are rotting in Biden's gulags for protesting the stolen 2020 election.

Hunter Biden's business partner Devon Archer is willing to testify that the Bidens used their family name to make millions from influence peddling, The Democrats tried to have him thrown in prison to keep him from testifying.

When Trump wanted $4 billion to secure the U.S. Border, The Democrats said we didn't have the money, but gave Ukraine $47 billion to secure THEIR border.

Meanwhile, Democrats defund the police and refuse to punish violent criminals and drug dealers in the country illegally. To top off the corruption and stupidity,  Illinois Democrat Governor J.B. Pritzger has offered police jobs to illegal aliens.

His fat ass should be thrown out of office.

Ultra-Corrupt Special Counsel Jack Smith is persecuting President Trump for 'trying to overturn the 2020 election', even though Democrats do the same thing whenever they lose. He should be disbarred.

Biden is persecuting his main political opponent who is leading in presidential polls. Democrats are waging lawfare against Donald Trump, threatening him, his friends, and even his supporters..

They are punishing him for questioning their so-called '2020 victory'.Time and money is being wasted in court instead of appearing before The American People where Trump belongs. Biden gets to ruin America and he doesn't even need to campaign. America's enemies do his campigning for him.

This is two-tiered bullshit.

Lucy, age 9.

A Commentary: The Anti-Woke Marketing Genius Of Jason Aldean

Country music star Jason Aldean's latest single, 'Try That In A Small Town',  is a runaway smash hit, and the most talked-about song of 2023. In it, Aldean decries the crime in the big cities, and tells the listener that in small towns, everyone looks out for each other.

The Summer hit debuted at #2 on BILLBOARD'S HOT 100 POP CHART last week, and everyone on TV and Twitter has an opinion about the song. His detractors call the song 'racist', while his fans have rallied behind the song.

You might think that Mr. Aldean may come across as just another hick Southern country bumpkin, but don't underestimate his savvy. In the age of cancel culture, this tune is far from being 'cancelled.' His concert crowds are roaring with approval for his message.

Many Americans simply respect him for sticking to his guns and not backing down or bending a knee to the cancel cultists.

While some companies like Bud Lite 'go woke, then go broke', the opposite is true if you appeal to ideas of patriotism and supporting your local police. 

You also have to give some back-handed credit to the idiot cancel cultists in the so-called mainstream media who are giving this country hit a considerable amount of 'controversy juice.' Over-the-top Leftists like Whoopie Goldberg and Joy Behar have accidently marketed this song to an even wider audience.

Race is never mentioned in the lyrics. There are parts in the music video for the song that show AntiFa and race rioters burning buildings and harming everyday Americans.

When Jason Aldean says his prayers at night, I wonder if he thanks God for his woke enemies who can't stop talking about this song.

A Heatmiser Commentary: It's Called July, Folks

And now, our resident weather expert is here with a commentary:

It's the last week in July, and some people are surprised that it's hot ouside. Leftist politicians are blaming 'Global Climate Change' and 'Global Warming. Liberals who can't (or won't) do ANYTHING about the out of control crime in the cities they run say that they can control the weather. Hillary Clinton even blamed MAGA Republicans for the hot weather. WOW, Remind me to register as a MAGA Republican!

She probably would blame the creator of the universe if she even believed in God, and would blame him but he's not up for re-election in 2024.

A couple weeks ago, Minnesota Representative Ilhan Omar said that we are experiencing the hottest weather in a 120,000 years. I WISH!

But, thank God for the local news. I wonder what us dumb yokels would do if we didn't have local newscasters reminding us to 'drink plenty of water' and 'stay inside' or be at risk of heatstroke.

Still, some people like it hot. It seems that people COMPLAINING about Global Warming are being quite insensitive to us who support some good, steamy weather. 

This is Heatmiser, reporting from beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. (singing): I'M TOO MUCH!

Ted Koppell: What's With The Staff At Twitter?

Hello, I'm Ted Koppell, and this isn't Nightline.......

Two weeks ago, Joe Deal, known to his readers as 'RedSquirrel', was partially locked out of his Twitter account for 10 hours for suggesting someone should hit President Biden with a rolled-up newspaper. He was replying to a disgusting video of Resident Biden sniffing and inappropriatley touching small children, usually right in front of their parents. 

So, what did Mr. Deal do wrong? Apparently, you have to treat your leftist overlords like fragile fine china. Perhaps we need to wrap The President in bubblewrap or styrofoam popcorn because the staff of Twitter sees the so-called leader of the free world in a way most normal Americans DON'T.

Leftists on Twitter say the most vile, hateful things. Do they get suspended for breaking Twitter's weird, capricious rules of conduct? Do they even suspend terrorists or pedophiles for engaging in 'hateful misconduct' or 'abusive behavior?'?

There are literally SNUFF videos on Twitter, with people being seriously hurt and even MURDERED, but the staff at Twitter allow these vids to clog up our Twitter timelines. 

Mr. Deal was suspended twice before. This time, He was 'allowed' back on because he agreed to delete his 'rolled-up newspaper' crack. He thought, as we think, it was funny. It was just a joke. Who DOESN'T want to hit President Biden with a rolled-up newspaper?

Perhaps the Staff at Twitter needs to loosen up a little, calm down with a nice adult beverage. I suggest they watch some politically-incorrect YouTube videos from the 70's. My go-to TV fare are those hilarious Dean Martin Roasts, All In The Family, and Sanford And Son..

I've noticed how many sullen, joyless cancel cultists also run social media. These 'Karens' have taken all the joy out of modern life, and are on a constant look-out for ANY reason to be offended.

Comediene Rith Buzzi made a career of hitting her co-stars with a handbag. How is hitting President Biden with a rolled-up newspaper any different?

This is Ted Koppell. Goodnight.

Top 10 Terms Of Hunter Biden's Plea Deal His Lawyers REALLY WANTED

BREAKING NEWS: Hunter Biden's plea deal has fallen apart. His crime family lawyers wanted AN ULTRA-ULTRA LENIENT list of conditions AND all criminal charges currently being investigated STOPPED, AS WELL AS ALL FUTURE CRIMINAL REFERRALS ALSO BE DROPPED. 

TEAM HUNTER thought the judge, Maryellen Noreika, would either be fooled into the plea agreement or be your average, ultra-corrupt Eastern seaboard judge who would EAGERLY rubber-stamp ANYTHING BIDEN'S DOJ AND HUNTER'S LEGAL TEAM WANTED (They're working together to keep him out of jail). 

The judge surprised Hunter's legal team by not giving them what they wanted. When she denied them their RIDICULOUS plea deal, his team appeared shocked that she dare defy The Biden Legal/DOJ Machine.

We had an insider at the Delaware courthouse who overheard Biden's lawyers make their list of plea deal terms they REALLY wanted. Remember, THIS IS WHAT THE ARROGANT BIDEN CRIME FAMILY LAWYERS THOUGHT THEY COULD GET......

From our home office in Bovey, Minnesota, Here are The Top 10 Terms Of Hunter Biden's Plea Deal HIS LAWYERS REALLY WANTED:

10. 17-year-old Barron Trump must report to The White House and work as Biden's butler

   9. The Biden Crime Family must be awarded $20,000,000 for pain and suffering

   8. All illegals get to stay in the country. Melania Trump to be deported.

   7. Hunter Biden must be awarded 5-year supply of hookers and blow.

   6. Hunter to be relieved of any and all tax non-payment, and awarded a $40,000,000 tax refund.

   5. ALL presidential candidates other than Joe Biden must be rounded up and sent to Biden's J6 gulag.

   4. All charges dropped, even for any or all future crimes Hunter Biden commits

   3. The country's name, United States of America' to be changed to 'United States of Hunter'

   2. Hunter Biden will be awarded the exclusive rights to rebuild The Ukraine after the war with Russia is over

(....and the #1 term of Hunter Biden's Plea Deal is.......)

   1. The Justice Department will find 35-38 new bogus charges against Donald Trump

A Warning From Our Resident All-American Dad

Yesterday,  a man was found drowned just off the coast at Barack Obama's Martha's Vineyard estate. The victim was paddleboarding before his drowning.

As it turns out, the drowning victim, Tafari Campbell, was Barack Obama's family chef.

In June 2015, Bill Clinton's chef, Walter Scheib, died from drowning while hiking in New Mexico. There seems to be an eerie, not quite definable similarity between the two deaths.

Over 50 Americans who worked with or associated with Hillary Clinton have mysteriously also died, some violently.

Our resident All-American Dad, Harold Weir, offers this warning to the youth of America who are thinking about working for or with The Democrats..

I knew these two guys. One of the guys was Bill Clinton's personal chef, and the other guy was Barack Obama's chef. Know where these guys are NOW? They're DEAD! DROWNED!

I also know a bunch of people who worked with or for Hillary Clinton. Know where they all are now? They're DEAD! CLINTONCIDED!

MAYBE WE CAN DIG ALL THESE DEAD PEOPLE UP AND ASK THEM IF THEY'RE GLAD THEY WORKED WITH OR FOR THESE DEMOCRATS.......

An RSR Exclusive: Biden Attorney General Merrick Garland Memo: 'Sound Of Freedom' Is A Threat To Our Democracy

In an RSR Exclusive, we have come across a memo that Resident Biden's Attorney General Merrick Garland has sent out to Hollywood bigwigs, local government school districts, Social Media chieftans, members of the media, and Justice Department employees:

July 20, 2023,

Everyone,

As you know, there's a movie in theatres across the country that poses a threat to our democracy, The Sound Of Freedom.

The highly ficticious story centers around the mythical problem of 'human trafficking'. Domestic terrorist Jim Caviezel stars in this QAnon fever dream. According to our records, the film has been shockingly successful, costing only $14,000,000 to film, and grossing over $100,000,000.00. so far 

People, we must do everything we can to discredit and ruin this right-wing misinformation campaign. I've directed movie theatres to crank up the heat inside their theatres, and keep the lights on during the flim. My boss is toying with the idea of an executive order, ordering all concession stands be closed  for 2 hours before and during showings of the movie.

Our allies on Capitol Hill and Hollywood desperately need us  to do our part to defame everyone associated with this troublesome film. I've directed our friends at network news to badmouth this film as a rediculous right-wing fantasy.

Remember when all those meddling 'parents' attended school board meetings? We labelled them as 'domestic terrorists'. We lost a lot of school boards to these terrorists. I want everone to take pictures of everyone attending showings of this movie. We might send F.B.I. agents to their homes.

All hands on deck,

United States Attorney General Merrick Garland