CNN's Coverage Of Joe Biden's Inauguration Parade

Hello Chinese subjects! This is CNN's special coverage of Joe Biden's inauguration parade! As you know, our new, wonderful president is thinking about the American people's HEALTH AND SAFETY on this wonderful day, so it's a very scaled-down celebration. He has ordered the country to 'mask-up', and has also ordered a lock-down here in D.C. 

We understand that he is taking his presidential oath in his basement, The right-wing media tells us that he's having trouble with the oath due to 'cognitive difficulties', but those are BASELESS claims.

According to our unnamed sources, Former president Donald Tump is on the run from federal authorities.  

......ooooh, LOOKY HERE, THE PARADE IS STARTING!!!! The Grandmarshal of today's parade Chinese president Xi Jinping is sharing a float with new Vice-President Kamala Harris! I wonder how much red and yellow crepe paper they needed for that huge float!!!

WOW, LOOK AT ALL THE CHINESE TANKS ROLLING DOWN PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE!!! 

.....AND HERE COMES THE CHINESE TROOPS!!!!! THEY ARE MARCHING WITH INCREDIBLE PRECISION!!! This is a really impressive, massive display!!!

We at CNN agree that America will be MUCH better off with our Chinese masters running our country than when Orange Man Bad ran the federal government. 

LOOK AT THIS!!!! Several floats honoring 'Democrat campaign workers' from Philadelphis, Detroit, and Atlanta who were in charge of 'counting the ballots'! 

Up next.......is a float with a giant placard giving a SHOUT-OUT TO DOMINION VOTE-COUNT MACHINES!!1 

Up next is the AntiFa Marching Band doing their redition of the old Soviet National Anthem on their kazoos!!

Here comes the sweet sound of The Black Lives Matter Singers. They're doing their rendition of The Black National Anthem. Oh-oh, there's a man with a Trump-Pence campaign sign, and all the Antifa and BLM musicians are beating him unconscious.

He deserved it.

He comes a float with four great governors. Andrew Cumo from New York, Gretchen Wetmer from Michigan, Gavin Newsome from California, and Tim Walz from Minnesota. These four great governors bravely shut down their states, and saved millions of lives from the terrors of Covid 19.

Here comes a float with Chinese and Ukranian 'business executives', and they are shoveling money into a pig trough in front of the capitol building. There's a group of politicians there to take the money.

Is that Hunter Biden? He's crawling on his hands and knees, snorting cocaine. Of course, if this was October, we wouldn't be covering this story because it would hurt our fantastic new president's chances at winning the election.......

Well, that's it for the parade. Mask up, America, and we'll see you at the CNN party tonight!

And Now, A Word From Our New Sponsor: Joe Biden's Pardon My Bloopers, Greatest Senior Moments, Incoherent Blabberings, And Whoppers

And now, a word from our new sponsor: 

In the 1950's and 1960's, record and TV producer Kermit Schafer introduced his series of classic Bloopers from radio and TV, 'Pardon My Blooper'.

Almost 60 years later, our sponsor K-SELL announces the release of......

JOE BIDEN'S PARDON MY BLOOPERS, GREATEST SENIOR MOMENTS, INCOHERENT BLABBERINGS, AND WHOPPERS.

It's not available in stores.................GET IT NOW!!!!

This Is Robert Stack, And This Is Unsolved Election Mysteries

Tonight, on Unsolved Election Mysteries........

Incumbent President Donald Trump has a commanding lead on Election Night, but leftists in deep-blue cities known for election corruption STOP the counting of votes. As America wakes up the next day, The President's lead evaporates. Hundreds of thousands of votes that go ONLY for Democrat Joe Biden appear. Were these mail-in votes, or were Democrat campaign workers 'busy finding' ballots for Biden?

Also on Unsolved Election Mysteries.....

President Trump recieves at least 10,000,000 more votes than in 2016, but  still LOSES??? Are we to believe that more Americans cast their votes for Slow-Joe Biden than ever voted for Barack Obama?????

Also on Unsolved Election Mysteries......

Suitcases of votes, Idiots on social media bragging about committing voter fraud, vote harvesting, machines turning millions of Trump votes into Biden votes, Democrats bribing Native-Americans to vote for Biden......but the entire mainstream 'news media' refers to accusations of this criminal activity as 'baseless.'

That, and more, on Unsolved Election Mysteries......

SONG PARODY ALERT!.... JOE, THE PHONY PRESIDENT-ELECT OF AMERICA (FROM DISNEY'S ROBIN HOOD)

So, the history books say that on Election Day

Democrats committed fraud for Joe 

Everyone saw how they broke the law

They kept on 'finding votes'

and stole the election from President Trump

who won on Election Night

The Democrat crooks they cooked the books

They turned off the lights

He's incoherent and slow

It's crooked, Sleepy Joe

The fraudulent President of America

A pox on the phony President of America!

The boxes were stuffed until they had enough

votes for the Dingaling

The media hacks had the liar's back

He's China's puppet on a string

We won't be free, he'll wreck our economy

Our jobs he'll eradicate

This incoherent clown wants to shut us down

and issue a national mask mandate

It's good-for-nothing Joe

and Kamala the Commie hoe

Joe, The Fraudulent President of America

Joe, The Fraudulent President of America

The pain we feel is The Green New Deal

Our resteraunts will be closed

While the government creeps never ever suffer

Working people will be hosed

Trump will prove he won in a landslide

and take our country back

And Rudy will throw the criminals in jail

The Supreme Court won't be packed

Before the country can be wrecked

by the phony, fraudulent President-ELECT

Joe Biden The hidin' phony President of America

The sniffin', Whiffin,

The blabberin'jabberin,

Blunderin' plunderin,

Wheelin, dealin'

tax dollar stealin'

Joe, The Phony President of America!

You Were Serious About That?..............

Do you remember that scene in the 1992 comedy hit My Cousin Vinny, where the country judge played by Fred Gwynne warned Cousin Vinny that he had better start dressing appropriately for court proceedings.

Cousin Vinny responds by saying, 'You were serious about that?'

I say the same thing to myself whenever I hear or read ANTHING said by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. I'm still not sure if she is a real person or just an SNL skit.

Hey Grandpa, What's For Thanksgiving Supper?

Welllllllllllllll,

We have Democrat GOVERNOR TURKEYS ordering you to NOT celebrate Thanksgiving with your Mom n' Pop.......

.....and we got BALLOT STUFFING in corrupt states where the cheatin' NEVER STOPS.......

..........We're ordering you to wear a mask over your face. Don't you swear an' say 'OH, FUDGE!!!' ..........

If you refuse, then we might send you to a judge.........

OH, CRAP!!!!!!!!

 

And Now, A 2020 Election Update With Professor Walter Tourgeson

I think the act of voting is SACRED, just like a farmer sees the soil as SACRED. So, let's take a look at what has happened so far in The 2020 Presidential Election. At the college I teach, I asked my students who they thought will be the winner and why the candidate SHOULD win. One female student raised her hand, and said:

'Joe Biden will prevail because the mail-in votes will overtake Trump's totals in battleground states Michigan, Wisconsin, Arizona, Georgia, Pennsylvania, and perhaps North Carolina.'

I looked around the class and asked everyone, 'Is she RIGHT? That's the version popular on CNN, MSNBC, the the liberal networks.

But, AAAUUUUGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!AAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHH!!!!!

DID YOU NOTICE THAT EVERY SINGLE VOTE COUNTED SINCE ELECTION NIGHT WAS FOR BIDEN!!!???? NO?????

On Election Night, President Trump was well on his way to re-election, then The Democrats stopped the counting in key battleground states. The next day, Biden was suddenly nearing victory. I don't know about you, but I find this highly suspicious.  I SMELL A RAT!!!! AAAUUUGGHHH!!!!!!

They found the voter software in just one Michigan county turned Trump votes into a votes for Biden. I wonder about all the other Michigan counties......OR THE OTHER STATES THAT ALSO USE THE SAME SOFTWARE, HAMMER AND SCORECARD.

In Philadelphia, the local Democrat crooks threw the Republican poll watchers out, even AFTER a judge ordered them to let the Republican poll watchers be let back into the room. These corrupt creeps should be arrested! THIS CRAP ALSO HAPPENED IN DETROIT!!! AAAAAUUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!

In Wisconsin, they're finding lots of voting irregularities that need further investigating. In many states. the number of total votes EXCEED the number of registered voters.

The news networks project that Biden has won, but NEWS NETWORKS DO NOT GET TO ANOINT OUR PRESIDENT. I know that a lot of you don't like President Trump, but THE PRESIDENT HAS RIGHTS TOO!!! THIS ELECTION ISN'T OVER YET. 

Don't be surprised if The Supreme Court finds in favor of Trump. in these battleground states, and we learn that Trump won in a LANDSLIDE. 

What's going to happen when these happy little know-nothings dancing around in Democrat-ran cities find out that Biden might lose????? I DON'T WANT TO BE IN A CITY WHEN OR IF THIS HAPPENS...........

Class dismissed.............................