Pajama Boy: Elon Musk Bought Twitter. I Am Shaking In My Onesy!!!!

On Monday, billionaire Elon Musk bought Twitter for $44 billion, and many leftists are panicking in abject terror.  On the other hand, former Twitter CEO  Jack Dorsey has expressed approval of Musk's purchase of the Social Media site.

Here to share his feelings is RSR contributor, a very shaken Pajama Boy:

I am in my fortified pillow fort, shaking in my onesie. I understand that several conservatives have already returned to Twitter, following the shocking purchase of the social media platform. Many Twitter employees have left in protest.

The View's Sunny Holsten says that Elon Musk will allow Twitter will become  a site where 'straight, White men can express their racist, sexist views!' and spread disinformation! The world is ending indeed!

Many of us fear that Musk will remove the guard rails of speech, allowing Nazis like Donald Trump and Tucker Calson to say whatever they want! I hope that this doesn't anger our Muslim and Communist masters!!!! Oh dear, my throat is PARCHED! Mom, can you make me some more hot cocoa?!!!

I am shaking in terror, and have to hold my cup of hot cocoa with BOTH HANDS! What are we going to do now that we can't censor people we dissagree with???!! 

Oh NO! former presidential candidate Howard Dean has left Twitter!!!!  He's a temperate and calm voice we need to hear. HEEEEEEAAAAWWWWW!!!!!

Mom, I want some more hot cocoa........

Nicolae Carpathia's Easter Address

Today is Easter, a holiday celebrated by Christians and non-Christians. Many don bonnets and attend church services, and the children hunt for Easter eggs. Many celebrate their savior Jesus Christ, who was raised from the dead. 

To others, it's more of a fertility festival, with bunnies and painted chicken ova. Americans spend millions on dye kits and Easter candy. Here to give his two cents on Easter 2022 is the future ruler of Planet Earth, Nicolae Carpathia:

Dear inhabitants of America and Planet Earth,

Our plans are right on schedule. Vladimir Putin is murdering Ukrainian civilians (World War 3 is coming soon!), Christian insurrectionists in America are being rounded up and sent to Biden's prisons, and somebody at The New York Times recently wrote a piece suggesting that we should 'get rid of God!'

The Pedophile and Sodomite Lobby is protesting that fascist Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and his 'Don't Say Gay' law, but the good news is my guy in The White House is bringing America to her knees!

The Boss is pleased, but he knows that time is short. Americans are waking up and Election Day 2022 is coming. My ultra-corrupt Communist-Democrats are running out of time. Republican legislatures are cleaning up their election systems, so it may be very hard to cheat. 

Our Queen of Disinformation Jen Psaki is leaving The White House, and our 'News' Channel CNN is hemorrhaging viewership. We need to train up more disinformation foot soldiers to gaslight The American People!

Our people at Twitter are doing a bang-up job, censoring views that run contrary with the Satanic party line. We have our army of ultra-violent Negroids committing heinus hate crimes all over the country, while our news stations only cover police shootings! All the saints are sinners and all the sinners saints! 

All Hail Satan! 

It looks like 6uild 6ack 6etter is dead for now, and America will not give up their guns. Still, we believe that The Great Reset is RIGHT ON SCHEDULE. My lieutenants Schwab and Gates tell me that we will have a worldwide famine by next year!

People with growling bellies are so much easier to control!

The citizens are discovering our Worldwide Covid Plademic was a ruse to send ballots to dead people and commit election fraud. It also helped our cause that Democrat Governors would literally arrest people for attending illegal church services. We'll need to come up with an even more engenius, devious plan if we want to keep Donald Trump out of The White House in 2024! 

But this is Easter. I prefer the term 'Ishtar'. We must keep everyone's mind off of that troublemaker, Jesus Christ, and make government their god!

Happy Fertility Day! 

N.C., Future Ruler of Planet Earth 

Correspondent Sister Mary Brokenknuckle's Oscar Awards Report

It appears that our Oscar Awards correspondent, Sister Mary Brokenknuckles is filing her report from The L.A. County Lock-up. She was so angry with Best-Actor Will Smith'S assault on host Chris Rock that she waited for him outside The Dolby Theatre, where she smacked him in the head and knuckles with a ruler.

Here's her report:

God Bless.......

I am here in The Los Angeles County Lock-up, following a wild Academy Awards show. As everyone knows, that smart alec host Chris Rock made a joke of Will Smith's wife Jada Pinkett-Smith and her bald head. The actor stormed on stage, and bitch-slapped the shocked host.

So, let me get this straight. The BLACK host is assaulted by a BLACK acttor, and the BLACK actor is not arrested for assault. Then,  The Black actor WINS the BEST-ACTOR Award. This must be that White privilege I keep hearing abou!

Meanwhile, the Los Angeles D.A. wants to charge me with a hate crime. We all need to pray for his soul.

Co-hosting harlots Amy Schumer and Wanda Sykes bad-mouthed the wonderful Governor or Florida, Ron DeSantis, and his signing of that anti-grooming bill. The Satanic pedophiles refer to the law as the 'Don't Say Gay' law, but the law only stops the government schools from talking about adult sexual practices to 5-9 years olds. 

Some 'teachers' are threatening to walk off their jobs. I didn't know that the government schools were such bastions of perverted lunacy. The fact that these loud weirdos have identified themselves proves that this new law was badly needed.

Mother Mary, full of grace, these Sodomite weirdos deserve a great, big ruler across their knuckles.

Speaking of Sodomite weirdos, dozens of employees at Disney are also very angry about this new anti-grooming law. One of the the heads of Disney disclosed that her child is a 'pansexual.' The child wouldn't even know what a pansexual is unless her insane, perverted parent told her what one was.

The great Walt Disney must be rolling in his grave.

Well, that's my Oscar  report. Actor Will Smith assaults the host, and enjoys his big win. I smack a Black actor with a ruler, and all I get is my 'one phone call.' God Bless.

.

THIS JUST IN: TRUMP ARRESTED

 

Just kidding. Happy April Fool's Day

SONG PARODY ALERT!!! SEX PISTOLS 'God Save The Dream' (Biden's America)

God save the dream

from this  commie regime

Brandon is a moron

Kamala is cackling

God save the dream

We miss the orange man

This crap

is getting out of hand

They stole the election and accuse us of insurrection

He opened the border and gives executive orders

Inflation is through the roof, Through the roof

the roof

God Save The Dream

from this senile old man

The ChiComs owns the country

They own our land

God Save The Dream

Biden's corrupt as Hell

He's Obama's puppet

He's on the wrong team

On Twitter and facebook they hide the truth

CNN is the most-trusted name in fake news

Theyt are your leftist media overlords

They censor the truth, Censure the truth!

God Save The Dream

Biden will start World War 3

Hillary's a murderous liar

and Nancy is scheming

No freedom

No freedom

No Freedom for you

No freedom

No freedom

No Freedom for you

No freedom

No freedom

No Freedom for you

No freedom

or gasoline 

or food

for you............

HEADLINE: Robert / Rachel Levine Is RSR's 'Maladjusted Weirdo Of The Year'

In a truley nutty move, USA Today named transgendered Biden Assistant Secretary of Health Dr. Rachel Levine (formerly Robert Levine) their 'Woman of The Year'.

News Parody site The Babylon Bee named her / him their 'Man of the Year', and was immediatly censored from Twitter. 

We here at The RedSquirrel Report have a credo 'Gathering Up, Feasting On, And Snickering At The World's Collective Nuttiness. In that spirit, we are proud to award Dr. Robert Rachel Levine our first 'Maladjusted Weirdo Of The Year' Award. Congratulations!

SONG PARODY ALERT!!! Dead Kennedys 'California Uber Alles' (2022 Democratic Remix)

In 1979, punk band The Dead Kennedys released their debut single 'California Uber Alles.' The song was a satire of Governor Moonbeam Jerry Brown, portraying the Governor as a smiling fascist demanding liberal conformity.

We here at RSR think that a re-make is in order, in the age of Covid shutdowns, out-of-control Democrat governors, and AntiFa. Hit it, boys:

I am Governor Gavin Newsom

My mandates are really gruesome

Nancy Pelosi is my aunt

Rules for thee but not for me

I'm not a hypocrite, I'm THE KING!

You will obey all my rules

Your kids will wear a mask to school

Your kids will wear a mask to school

California! Uber Alles!

We will close down your business!

Uber Alles! Covid fascists!

We will even close down your churches!

I'm Tim Walz I did nothing to stop the riots

You better obey me, You better stay quiet

I let the rioters burn up this place

Just make sure to keep that mask on your face

You are overtaxed, right up to your neck

Just thank me for your Tim Walzcheck

While illegals stream across the Southern border

Here's another emergency order

I'm King Timmy, Obey my order!

Minnesota! Uber Alles!

Say goodbye and close your business!

Uber Alles! Minnesota!

I'm King Timmy, Obey my order!

Now  it is 2021

We're coming to take your guns

The F.B.I. will break down your door

Empty shelves at the grocery store

We stole the election, but don't you dare protest

We will just call you 'insurrectionists'!

You better take the Covid vaccination

We're the ministers of disinformation!!

We're teaching C.R.T. in your government schools

You better submit to the cancel culture ghouls

We will tear up your history

We are your master, just bend your knee

Democratic! Uber Alles!

BLM AntiFascists!

Uber Alles! Trump's a Nazi!

You must obey Dr. Fauci!