Andy Rooney: What's The Deal With AWFLs?

We here at RSR welcome the return of Andy Rooney, and he has some things to say regarding  THE awful WORLD OF AWFLS (Affluent White Female Liberals / Leftists):

They're the perpetually dissatisfied. middle-aged women, usually with short hair. They are always unhappy, with that indignant look on their face, demanding ''My I speak to your MANAGER?'' 

I'M GLAD THAT MY managing EDITOR, REDSQUIRREL IS JUST A COOL RODENT.  HE DOESN'T REALLY speak much. He JUST SNICKERS AT THE WORLD OF CRAZIES.

Many of these women are college professors.. They don't fix your plumbing or REPAIR your car. They make TONS of money (hence the ''Affluent'' IN AWFL) because the crooks in Washington D.C. PAYS THEM LOTS OF MONEY to INDOCTRINATE YOUR COMMUNIST BRAT. 

I began to notice these GAWDAWFUL AWFLS when they were ALL OVER TWITTER AND TIKTOK CELEBRATING THE BRUTAL ASSASSINATION OF CONSERVATIVE SPEAKER CHARLIE KIRK. THEY ARE INCREDIBLY HATEFUL, HORRIBLE, MISERABALE, AWFL LEFTISTS.

Many AWFLs are in the government. In about 25 years most of these leftist women with short hair will become the next generation of leftie hens like THEIR HEROINES Elizabeth Warrens, Hillary Clintons, and Nancy Pelosi. IT MAKES ME SHUDDER!!!

By the way, Have you ever noticed thow many of these Leftist Democrats don't even have two nickles to rub together, but after getting elected to Congrab they're SUDDENLY ZILLIONAIRES? Also, our national debt is almost identical to the amount of money STOLEN, GRIFTED, AND LAUNDERED by The Democrats in Congress? These Corruptocrat frauds are simply AWFL!

Renee Good was an lesbian AWFL killed by an I.C.E. Agent in Minneapolis when she tried to run him OVER, and was shot to death.The lunatics protesting Immigration and Customs Enforcement and the deportation of violent criminal illegal aliens blame the agent BECAUSE President Trump won the 2024 Election and the leftists are acting up like spoiled toddlers in a grocery store, demanding that MOMMY BUYS them candy!

When they're in power, they are mean, lunatic tyrants, and when they lose they act up.

Former President Barack Obama deported even more illegal aliens than President TRUMP, but none of these AWFLs cared a bit about THAT. They are protesting because they are OFFENDED THAT DONALD TRUMP EXISTS, and they have acute TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) as well as  ''toxic empathy'' for the violent illegals. These nutcases need a psychiatrst!

There is a subset of this group of women sometimes referred to as ''Karens''. I think that label is unfair. I have a young relative  named Karen and she's an exceedingly nice, sweet person. Her friends call her ''Kare-Bear''.  I think It just isn't fair.

So, what do we do about these obnoxious, abusive AFFLUENT WHITE FEMALE LEFTISTS? I heard about one store owner banning an abusive ''Karen'' from his store when she was abusive towards one of his store employees.

It's a start.

Also, know that for each abusive, obnoxious AWFL, there are probably TEN people who try to be a good person. 

SONG PARODY: ELLA LANGLEY SINGS ''CHOOSIN' TEXAS, FLORIDA, AND TENNESSEE (VOTING WITH OUR FEET)''

The hottest song in America RIGHT NOW is country songtress Ella Langley's smash hit ''Choosin' Texas''. It's the current Number One Pop song on Billboard's Hot 100.

It's the song about a girl from Tennessee losing the man she loves to a woman from Texas, yet the title ''Choosin'  Texas'' sounds like it could be about Americans voting with their feet. I can see a music video of Americans renting a U-HAUL and LEAVING Gavin Newsom's California or some other poorly run, corrupt blue state and heading to a Red State with no state tax and lots of sunshine.

Here to sing a new version of this song is Ella Langley and her Red State Chorus:

(Verse 1) 

Just when we thought The Democrats had the majority

Americans renting U-HAUL vans to Florida and Tennessee 

They've had enough of the taxes and the crime

Mamdani the Commie sucks and we think that it's time

(Chorus) 

They're on their way to Texas we can tell by the way

They're voting with their feet

This crappy state government in California

Illegal aliens and crime in the street

It doesn't take FOXNEWS to see

why everyone wants to leave

The Democrats brought it all on themselves

We're Choosin' Texas, This blue state can go to Hell

(Verse 2) 

Now, Gavin Newsom has really wrecked The Golden State

We're screwed and over-taxed, and we cannot wait

We'll be in Amarillo by morning

The Democrats should take it as a warning

(Chorus)

We're moving to Texas we're on our way

and the democrats are doomed

We're voting with our feet

 there's a population and an economic boom

It doesn't take FOXNEWS to see

why people will vote with their feet

The blue states brought it on themselves

We're leaving the crime and looted store shelves

(Bridge)

I can see a really long line of  U-HAUL VANS drivin' by

as the blue states  keeps taxing you even after you die

We're moving down South for the sun and the jobs

Mamdani just gave your paycheck to the illegal alien mob

(Chorus)

They're moving to Florida, because

 their governor is great!

We're moving to one of those nice, warm

LOW-TAX, CONSERVATIVE STATES

I don't need TO WATCH FOXNEWS to see

People moving down to Tennessee

The GOP will be gaining 10 or 12 (congressional seats)

The blue states brought it upon themselvces

Goodbye to the crime and looted store shelves

The blue states brought it upon themselves

C'MON EVERYBODT!!!!

Everybody's moving to Texas, Florida and Tennessee

Five-Head Clinton Advisor Paul Begala Complains About Surf-N-Turf

Last week, former Clinton Advisor and current CNN poitical pundit Paul Begala expressed his indignation at Secretary of War Peter Hegseth serving his troops ''expensive'' Surf N' Turf for dinner. Here to vent his anger is old ''Five-Head'' Himself:

The Trump Administration is cutting NGO's and our generous giveaways to undocumented immigrants, yet his Secretary of WAR Pete Hegseth is wasting million$$$$ on his troops, feeding them expensive steaks and lobster for dinner!!! Oh, the INHUMANITY!!!!

The grunts should be happy with gruel RATIONS and M.R.E.'s (Meals Ready To Eat), but Secretary Hegseth has wasted almost $30million on steak and lobster!!! Meanwhile, DOGE HAS FIRED THOUSANDS OF GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES, INCLUDING I.R.S. EMPLOYEES!!! 

Us Democrats needs to reign in this insane spending, and get back to the important government work  of DEFRAUDING THE TAXPAYERS AND SPENDING THAT MONEY ON OUR CORRUPT GRIFTER-SUPPORTER CLASS AND UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS!!! The Trump Administration have kicked thousands of undocumented immigrants out of  luxury hotels in Democrat-tun cities, and that cannot stand!.

Hegseth's grunts recieve lobster and steak, while the Somalis in Minneapolis are investigated for defrauding the taxpayers!  If you ask me, the Somalis deserve THE TAXPAYER'S MONEY because they SUPPORT THE DEMOCRATS DOING THE IMPORTANT WORK OF OPPOSING TRUMP'S NAZI-REPUBLICANS!!!!

Now, the total national debt is around $38trillion!!!! All this expensive food will make the deficit EXPLODE!!!! Because Trump wastes money on feeding the troops, there is NO MONEY FOR COLLEGE ENDOWMENTS FOR AMERICA-HATING UNIVERSITIES!!! While Hegseth's grunts feast on Surf n' Turf, FEEDING OUR FUTURE REMAINS UNDER-FUNDED and poor CHILDREN are STARVING! 

How are we ever going to feed the poor while Hegseth keeps feeding the troops surf n' turf? We NEED TO TAKE BACK CONGRESS OR THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION WILL ABOLISH E.B.T. CARDS AND THE COUNTRY WILL FACE A FAMINE OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS!!!!

MY HUGE FIVE-HEAD HAS A HEADACHE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!!!!

That's it for now. I am ''Five-head The Great''---Paul Begala. Back to you, RedSquirrel.

Our New Top Ten List: What Should The Letters ''D.F.L.'' Stand For?

The Democrat party in the State of Minnesota is referred to as The D.F.L. (Democrat Farmer-Labor) party, although we don't know any farmers or laborers WHO CAN STAND THESE COMMUNIST KLEPTOCRATS RUNNING THE STATE.

If you work for a living, The Democrats in Minnesota will try to steal everything you have and generously give it to their illegal alien, corruptocrat, educrat unionista voter base.

Three years sgo, The Democrat Trifecta passed THE MOST EXCESSIVE, EXTREME ABORTION LAW IN THE WORLD. 

NOT JUST THE COUNTRY.

THE WORLD. EVEN MORE EXTREME THAN CHINA AND NORTH KOREA.

They have defrauded the taxpayers, wasted an $18billion surplus, and showered their corrupt Somali supporters with the taxpayer's money.

This week, they are arguing that WILD RICE has an inherent right to life.  Innocent, unborn babies DON'T HAVE ANY RIGHTS, BUT WILD RICE SHOULD. WHAT'S NEXT? Will the dems try to make the eating of wild rice a hate crime?

So, we here at RSR think that calling this party of maladjusted, corrupt weirdos the FARMER-LABOR party should get a deserved change. From our home office in Bovey, Minnesota COMES THIS WEEK'S TOP TEN LIST. WE RE-THINK JUST WHAT THE MINNESOTA DEMOCRAT PARTY SHOULD CALL ITSELF FROM NOW ON.

What should the letters ''D.F.L.'' STAND FOR? Here we go:

10. DEMOCRAT FELON-LIAR

  9. DEVIANTS-FRAUDSTERS-LUNATICS

  8. DILDOS-FELONS-LOONEYBIRDS

  7. DEMONIC- FUCKING-LEFTISTS

  6. DEMOCRAT FRAUDSTER-LUNATICS

  5. DOUCHETASTIC FUCKING-LEFTARDS

  4. DEMOCRAT FELONS-LUNATICS

  3. DAMNABLE FELONIOUS-LEFTISTS

  2. DEMOCRAT FREAKS-LUNATICS

  1. DEMOCRAT FRAUDSTER-LIAR

A Malcolm Spottswoode Commentary: ''' War In Iran.......F -- YEAH!!!''

 

On February 28, American and Israeli military forces began OPERATION EPIC FURY, bombing Iranian government buildings and disabling their military infrastructure. While many happy Iranians living in America AND IRAN danced in the streets in jubilation, angry critics of The Trump Administration suggest The President be impeached.

Our military correspondent AND Director of Team America: World Police, Malcolm Spottswoode, shares his thoughts on this military operation:

To all pro-American Patriots and our brave warriors, I salute you and invite you to Team America Headquarters for Briefings and Cocktails. To all you who oppose this war I say you're all America-hating, butt-f........ traitors!!!!!

I am exceedingly proud of our Team America--World Police for joining in the fight (in a supporting role). Team America----''F'' YEAH!

Secretary of Kick-Ass Pete Hegseth said that we will pound the Iranian military without mercy until they submit. I couldn't have said it better!!!! Our warriors bombed The Iraniian Air Force into the dust and their Navy lays with the dead fishes!! We are wiping those towelheads out, while Some worthless Democrat crapweasels in Congress want to IMPEACH PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR DOING WHAT SHOULD'VE BEEN DONE 45 YEARS AGO. 

I'm just surprised that The Film Actor's Guild hasn't tried to join the war on the side of those Iranian Shiite-Heads. Right now, we have actors Mel Gibson and Sylvester Stallone undercover in Tehran, Iran's capitol doing incredible work.

Tehran is approximately 6,300 to 6,337 miles east of Washington D.C.

The evil mohammadon Mullahs should have been wiped off the face of the Earth 45 years ago! Our people bombed the Hell out of The Iranian Capitol Building on BacaLacaDaca Street, and it was there that The Ayatollah Supreme douchebag Ali Khameini was sent to his eternal reward. 

The cross-dressing generals of the Biden Administration would NEVER have gotten this important job done!! They were too busy giving themselves medals for applying make-up and getting runs in their panty hose!

Our Secretary of DO-THIS-OR-ELSE, Marco Rubio told the Iranian Shiite-Terrorist Mullahs to stop their nuclear blackmail and join the international community or they will be sent to eternal damnation.

The only misstep in this important operation thus far was when I mistakenly sent Our World Police to Paris and our people accidently leveled The Eiffle Tower, The French were angry, but did you see all the happy Persian Babes taking off their burkas and dancing?  Soon, we will be seeing Kid Rock and Ted Nugent concerts in downtown Tehran!

To the people in The Middle East I say America wants to be your FRIEND, BUT DON'T THREATEN AMERICA WITH WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. TO ALL YOU TERRORISTS CREEPS WE AMERICANS SAY THIS---SUCK OUR B....S!!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA!! ''F'' YEAH!!!!

Malcolm F. Spottswoode, Director of Team America--World Police

''OH, AND ANOTHER THING......'':Professor Walter Turgeson Comments On The War In Iran

Our resident expert on Everything, Professor Walter Turgeson,would also like to comment on the War Aganst The Iranian Mullahcracy:

Oh, and ANOTHER THING......

Thank GOD for President Trump and The Secretary of Def----I mean, WAR, Pete Hegseth for bombing the THE SIIIITE OUT OF 7TH CENTURY TERRORIST MOHAMMADONS, SENDING Ayatollah Ali Khameini AND HIS TOWELHEAD mullah friends to THEIR 72 virgins!! 

For 47 years OUR SO-CALLED LEADERS ACTED LIKE PUSSY WIMPS, ALLOWING THE SPONSORS OF WORLDWIDE TERRORISM TO PUSH US AROUND!!!  

AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (The Professor rips the top of a classroom desk and throws it across the room.)

A week before the bombing started, The Ayatollah insulted President Trump on Twitter/X. I like Trump's answer. GOOOOOOD ANSWER!!!

Now, we and our Israeli friends are POUNDING THE HELL out of the mohammadon Islamic tyranny's MILITARY INFRASTRUCTURE and we won't stop until these towelheads SURRENDER!!!

HEY TOWELHEADS, SAY UNCLE SAM!!!!!SAY IT.......SAAAAY IT!!!!

There are commie douchebags here in America actually protesting and carrying signs FOR THE AYATOLLAH!!!! THESE COMMIE LUNATICS SHOULD BE DEPORTED,!!!! WE SHOULD TRADE THESE AMERICA-HATING BRATS FOR THE HAPPY PERSIAN HOTTIES DANCING HAPPILY AND TAKING OFF THEIR GARBAGE BAG BURKAS!!!

Well, that's my time. I am Professor Walter Turgeson, and class is in session. Good Night.

Our Expert, Professor Walter Turgeson, Comments On The Anti-I.C.E. ''Protests''

 

Our resident expert on Everything, History Professor Walter Turgeson, returns from  his sabbatical to comment on the anti-I.C.E. ''protests'':

Thanks Red.

I am seeing on Twitter and the evening news a lot of people protesting federal agents of Immigration and Customs Enforcement. If you ask the protestors, they will say that they are protesting the ''kidnapping'' of our ''neighbors''.

Are they right? That's the POPULAR viewpoint for some, but I'VE HAD NEIGHBORS HARMED BY THESE VIOLENT THIRD-WORLD ILLEGAL ALIEN ASSHOLES. WHAT ABOUT THE YOUNG GIRLS HURT AND EVEN K...... BY THESE PSYCHOTIC ANIMALS????!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

EVIL CORRUPTOCRATS LIKE THAT LEFTIST KNUCKLEHEAD TIMMY WALZ WANT TO DISTRACT US ALL AWAY FROM THEIR RAMPANT CRIMINALITY  BY SENDING THESE UNHINGED, DEMENTED AWFLS, AND EVEN GOVERNMENT SCREWLS ARE TAKING THE KIDS OUT OF CLASS TO PROTEST OUR HARD-WORKING FEDERAL LAW AGENTS!!!!

AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

THE GOVERNMENT SCHOOLS HAVE REPLACED READING AND WRITING WITH COMMIE-REVOLUTION AND RIOTING. NO WONDER OUR KIDS ARE SCREWED UP!!!!!!!!

PRESIDENT TRUMP WANTS THE GOVERNMENT TO PROTECT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. WHILE THE DAMN COMMUNIST DEMOCRATS WON'T EVEN STAND UP FOR US!!!! THEY'RE TOO BUSY GRIFTING AND DEFRAUDING THE TAXPAYERS!!!! THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. IT'S JUST LIKE THE OLD ROLLING STONE SONG SAYS ''ALL THE COPS ARE CRIMINALS AND ALL THE CRIMINALS, SAINTS!!!!''

THE DEMOCRATS ARE AMERICA-HATING, CORRUPT, COMMIE JERK-OFFS!!!! SAY IT!!!! SAYYYYY IT!!!!

Here's Some Drawings By Joe The Cartoonist

 It's been about 15 years since I showed some of my drawings. Enjoy:

''This Means War''

I was probably vegging out and listening to Nirvana....

I thought it would be cool if ''The Thing''(1982) starred Alice Cooper.

''Cosmic Roadkill''

Eric Cartman Reports from Tuesday Night's State Of The Union Address

On Tuesday, President Trump delivered his State of the Union Address. Here to comment on the speech is our cub correspondent, Eric Cartman:

I am happy to report that the state of the union IS KICKING ASS!!!!

Our AWESOME President addressed Inflation (The homo COMMIE LEFTISTS call it ''AFFORDABILITY'' and deporting ILLEGAL ALIENS. ILLEGAL ALIENS PISS ME OFF!!! He ALSO awarded some people medals, and that was KEWL!!!

At the beginning of the SOTU, THE GEICO CAVEMAN (Texas Rep. Al Green) STARTED YELLING LIKE AN ASSHOLE, and he was taken out. I sure hope he gets psychiatric help for that TDS. It must be hard for a DEMOCRAT caveman to cope in the modern age

THAT ROTTEN, Somali CORRUPTOCRAT Ilhan Omar started FLIPPING OUT and flapping her yap. I wish that Trump would have announced her deportation In fact, I wish some I.C.E. agents would've showed up to arrest her and that ugly, obnoxious MOHAMMADON Rashida Tlaib. YOU WILL RESPECT I.C.E. AUTHORITAH, AND YOU WILL RESPECT THE PRESIDENT'S AUTHORITAH!!!!

Us Normal Americans like Trump because he's deporting illegal aliens,. Many of them are violent lunatics, rapists, murderers, human traffickers, and drug dealers. Of course, the CORRUPT communist-democrats send their protestors to harass and assault our I.C.E. agents. I'm sure that we have video, and hopefully The F.B.I. will be paying these haters a visit.

The demonrats need illegal aliens and third-world criminal voters because Normal Americans will not vote for these corrupt, looney douches.

Real Americans loved it when our GOLD-MEDAL HOCKEY TEAM SHOWED UP. I was wondering why the democrats wouldn't even stand for our hockey team. Did somebody break their legs?

In the corrupt, America-hating government schools, we see green-haired, commie looneybirds take their students OUT OF CLASS to protest I.C.E. They have replaced reading and writing with revolution and rioting. We will defund these failing, rotting government schools and reward the good schools. 

The idiotic, hateful democrats didn't even stand when President Trump asked if everyone would agree that the government's most important job is protecting The American People. Even an 8-year-old like me knows THAT! The dems must think that their most important job is defrauding the taxpayers. 

Corrupt assholes.

Trump also asked Congress to pass THE SAVE ACT. Democrats are against it because they have to CHEAT to win elections. CHEATERS!!!! Trump honored ANGEL FAMILIES  (families hurt by violent, third-world ILLEGAL ALIENS. The Republicans stood for the victims, while the DEMONIC Dems sat on their fat duffs. Damn, they PISS ME OFF!!!!

When Trump mentioned ''INSIDER TRADING'' Nutty Nancy Pelosi almost choked on her dentures.Well, that's it from The Trump State of the Union. Back to you, RED......

.

HEADLINE: U.S.A. HOCKEY TEAM WINS GOLD (JOYLESS, LEFTIST KILLJOYS HARDEST HIT)

 

We Polled 5,000 Public School Students, And Asked Them To Rank The Presidents

It was President's Day on Monday, and we decided to ask 5,000 High School students currently enrolled in government schools across the country to rank the presidents. Most of theese scholars were busy  outside protesting federal I.C.E. agents, but eventually they returned to class and took this poll.

Here's the results:

1. The greatest President EVER is Barack Hussein Obama because he was our First Black President and because our green-haired teacher(s) told us he was.

2. Alexander Hamilton (never a president) was ranked #2. Actually the original star in the Broadway musical Lin Manuel Miranda was ranked the second-greatest president.

3. George Washington was ranked at number 3. Father of the Country. First in war, first in peace, and LAST PLACE IN THE EASTERN CONFERENCE. He could not be allowed to be #1 because of White privilege.

4. Alexandria Bernie Sanders Ocasio-Cortez. (Never a president) Our green-haired teacher's favorite president. From what we heard, this non-president was A BIG supporter of Socialism and Drag Queen Story Hour.

5. Bill Clinton. Nearly ALL of the students polled could only name 5 or 6 presidents.

6. Frankin Delano Roosevelt. He saved the country from The Great Depression and THE DONALD TRUMP NAZIS.

7, Abraham Lincoln. The Civil War Guy with the Big Hat. He freed the slaves, and that was a big deal.

8. Ronald Reagan. He polled well with Republican students who were immediately expelled when their green-haired teachers found out some of the students had the nerve of ranking A REPUBLICAN in the top 10.

9.. Jimmy Carter. Nobody knows ANYTHING about him, but he has a nice smile.

10.. Joe Biden. He saved our climate from climate change.

11, Richard Nixon. He said he  ''wasn't a crook.''

12-45. We know NOTHING about these guys. Many of the students polled thought that Oprah Winfrey was once a president.

46-47. The WORST President in the poll was current President Donald Trump because he's a NAZI and throws undocumented immigrants out of the country. Nearly ALL of the government school students polled were protesting HIS I.C.E. GESTAPO. HE'S AN ORANGED-HAIRED MEANY AND THEY HATE HIM ON THE VIEW, CNN, AND MSNBC!!!!!

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, OUR GREEN-HAIRED TEACHERS HATE HIM!!!!!

THE COMMUNIST-DEMOCRAT MANIFESTO

1. Everything we IMMORAL, CORRUPT, COMMUNIST-Democrats APPROVE OF must be made mandatory, and EVERYTHING WE COMMUNIST-DEMOCRATS DON'T APPROVE OF must be made illegal.

2. WE Democrats do not approve of THE DEATH PENALTY, except for INNOCENT, UNBORN BABIES.

3. WHEN IT COMES TO WINNING ELECTIONS, THE ENDS JUSTIFIES THE MEANS!!!

4. There is NOTHING WRONG with accusing our enemies of what WE'RE GUILTY OF.

5. We call our opponents NAZIs, so that justifies us threatening and persecuting them.

6. WE ARE COMMUNIST-DEMOCRATS, SO NONE YOUR SILLY LITTLE LAWS APPLY TO US!!! WE WERE BORN TO RULE OVER OUR ENEMIES

7. We shall use our government positions to REWARD our CORRUPT SUPPORTERS, AND our CORRUPT SUPPORTERS SHALL REWARD US WITH FRAUD, GRAFT, AND MONEY LAUNDERING.

8. It is not CHILD MUTILATION!!!! It is GENDER AFFIRMATION!!!! SCREWING WITH THE LANGUAGE IS HOW WE WIN!!!!

9. We (as well as our voters) would rather rule over ashes THAN ALLOW OUR ENEMIES TO GOVERN!!! It is better to be ruled by third-world criminals, MOHAMMADONS, and violent illegal aliens than a REPUBLICAN!!!!

10. We COMMUNIST-DEMOCRATS believe in PERSECUTING CHRISTIANS AND SHOVING ISLAM DOWN YOUR THROAT!

Ralph Wiggum: Let's Protest I.C.E.!!!

In communist-leftist government schools across the country, the ''teachers'' are leading their students in protests against Immigration Customs Enforcement agents. They've replaced reading and writing with revolution and rioting.

Here to comment on this is 8-year-old student Ralph Wiggum:

Woo-Hoo!!! Melt the I.C.E.!!!! Oh-no!!! I just glued my ear to my shoulder!!!

Me and my fellow students are walking out of class because my teacher has green hair and hates The President!!!! Super-Ninendo Intendent Chombers and the teachers are printing protest signs for us because nobody knows how to spell.

Nelson Muntz is going to jail because he threw a bottle rocket at the I.C.E. agents. Don't worry, all the local judges are from Minneapolis!

In class we learned that I.C.E. agents are NAZIs!, and our teacher teached us that we better stop them before they send us all to concentration camps! The I.C.E. agents tell us they are going after murderers, rapists, and drug dealers. I don't take drugs but I do eat Play-Doh sometimes.

I like protesting because i hate taking tests....or being called on. The other kids laugh at me a lot. When I don't know the answer I just glue my lips together until one of the smart kids raises their hand.

Our teachers teach us to hate I.C.E. When I see someone who looks like I.C.E., I blow my whistle and scream ''I.C.E. STRANGER DANGER!!!!''

We see a lot of old people protesting too. It looks like they must have been held back at least 40 or 50 years. They must go to one of those ''special schools.''

Oh, CRAP.....I just glued my eyelids together!!!

An Islamic Scholar Opposes Valentine's Day

It's Valentines Day in America, as men woo the women in their life, offering candy, cards, flowers, or a nice, romantic dinner. Today, we hear from Islamic scholar (Isn't''Islamic scholar'' an oxymoron?) Abdul Abu Mohammad, who has an opposing view of Valentine's Day.:

Once again, I must chastise and correct the infidels celebrating this cursed Western holiday. Like EVERYTHING else that you do, THIS EVIL Western holiday is Haram, offending ALLAH and the adherents of the Religion of Peace!!!!

Valentine's Day is HARAM!!! Men treating women WITH LOVE is as wrong as treating AN ANIMAL in a humane manner!!! We Muslims HATE WOMEN AND DOGS, and that's the way it should be!!!

You Westerners rape the Earth of it's cherries and chocolate when you should be raping 14-year-old girls!!! We Muslims treat women like animals, and sometimes treat animals like women because our imaginary moon idol TELLS US TO!!!'' ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!

Our God Allah hates it when a man gives a woman chocolate OR FLOWERS OR ANYTHING THAT MIGHT PUT A SMILE ON HER FACE!!! A smiling woman showing her lips SHALL BE STONED TO DEATH!!!!! THREE CHEERS FOR SHARIA!!!

Also, if a man shaves his beard he should be PUNISHED!! A man with no beard looks like a woman and is BLATANTLY TEMPTING US MUSLIMS!!!!! A man should not love a woman. Instead he should have 4 wives and treat them LIKE ANIMALS!!!! LOVE IS BLASPHEMY!!!!

Western men kiss a woman on Valentine's Day while we Muslims make suicide vests and blow ourselves up for Allah!!! THAT'S why Islam is SUPERIOR!!!!!

BY THE WAY,  you in the West make graven images in the snow that you call SNOWMEN. This too is HARAM!!!! It's okay if the snowman is HEADLESS AND..............STOP LAUGHING!!!!!!! Laughter is only acceptable after you've slaughtered a Jew or Christian!!!! Then you go to paradise and get 72 virgins and slaves!! ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!

 We will outnumber you and make Valentine's Day punishable by DEATH!!!! FREE PALESTINE!!!!!

MN DEMOCRATS DEMAND THEIR AGITATORS ''PUT THEIR BODIES ON THE LINE''

 

A few weeks ago, Minnesota Lieutenant Governor Peggy Flanagan urged  anti-ICE agitators to ''Put your bodies on the line''. Governor Tim Walz stood behind his governor's mansion metal gate and incited his supporters to cause ''good trouble''. Pandering Mayor Jacob Frey is telling everybody that ''We WON'T be intimidated!'' Into WHAT? Obeying and enforcing federal law? Arresting third-world child rapists, murderers, and drug traffickers?

D.F.L. government officials began inciting their rioters the same week that citizen journalist Nick Shirley exposed an UNBELIEVABLE level of D.F.L (Democrat fraudster-lunatic) corruption and Somali fraud. Minnesota Corruptocrats wanted these stories taken off the front page and are using their eager supporters to do their dirty work. So far, two unhinged Minnesotan leftists have lost their lives HARASSING, ASSAULTING AND THREATENING I.C.E. agents.

The corruptocrats currently running The State of Minnesota are urging on the riots, while the other 49 states are co-operating with the federal government. They are running the state into the ground and defrauding the taxpayers, but still cast themselves as ''the resistance.''

This reminds me of that classic Jack Chick Christian tract, ''The Poor Revolutionist'' where the dumb hippie revolutionaries overthrow the government only to be sentenced to death by their communist handlers. The dopey revolutionaries find out too late that they were only being used.

Some of these arrogant, decieved morons also blocked streets and operated illegal checkpoints like East German guards.

Of course, the same corruptocrats (like Peggy Flanagan) also led the insanely stupid DEFUND THE POLICE movement. 

Now that ICE's operation inside Minnesota has ended, the corruptocrats are declaring ''victory'', but their RAMPANT FRAUD AND CORRUPTION will return to the front page.

 

My SuperBowl Prediction(s)

This Sunday is SuperBowl LX (60),  pitting The Seattle Seahawks and The New England Patriots. My prediction is that I'll be doing something, ANYTHING other than watching this game. I am currently boycotting The NFL, SO I may just take a little stroll to my local library or something.

Having said that, I predict The Seahawks will win the game by 20.

When obnoxious cross-dressing rapper Bad Bunny takes the stage for the Halftime Show, I predict that I will be more than a mile away from the closest television, or I may watch the All-American Alternative Halftime Show, starring Kid Rock.

I predict that all the commercials will feature handsome Black husbands with great jobs, their beautiful White wives, and all the White men (if there ARE any) will be portrayed as stupid, worthless losers, unless they are cross-dressers starring in a beer ad.

I predict there will be at least 2 commercials for upcoming movies that I wouldn't go see if you paid me $50.

A Muslim Scholar Reports From The 2026 Grammys

Last night, The 68th Annual Grammy Award trade show was held at Crypto.com Arena in Los Angeles. We wanted Ricky Gervais to host, but they settled for Trevor Noah. Cross-dressing rapper Bad Bunny won the Grammy for best album, and the Trump-hating liberal crowd bad-mouthed I.C.E. agents throughout  the evening..

We sent Muslim scholar ('Isn't ''Muslim scholar'' an oxymoron?) Abdul Abu Mohammad who filed this report from the red carpet:

I am here on the blood-red carpet, as sinful infidel musicians and anti-I.C.E. activists walk into the arena. Allah hates music, It is haram in the eyes and ears of our god. I see beardless musicians Paul McCartney, Bruno Mars, and The Motley Crues. Muslim men have huge beards, and can have FOUR wives. You Americans and Western Europeans are homos because you have NO BIG BEARD AND ONLY ONE WIFE!!!!!

.....and there are many immodest women here who are walking about without a hijab or burka. This IS SHAMEFUL!!! Soon, we will enter your homes and put A COVER on The DALLAS COWBOY CHEERLEADERS!!!!

Over there, I see infidel country singers Jelly Roll and Luke Combs. I understand they enjoyed a bacon-lettuce-tomato sandwich before this awards show. EATING BACON IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED!!!!!

Snoop Dogg is a rapper and dogs are filthy!!! My neighbor owns a dog and I have to chastise him every time his dog steps on MY LAWN!!!!

I see many women with exposed skin, and I am having an urge to take them as my slaves!!!! I will SEXUALLY ENSLAVE them to HUMILIATE THEM!!!!! ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!

There will be much HARAM occurring during this award show. These INFIDELS are smiling. SMILING IS HARAM!!!!! THE WOMEN ARE FAR TOO IMMODEST!!!! FREE PALESTINE!!!!

Now I see cross-dresser rapper Bad Bunny. Soon us Muslims will THROW (CENSURED) window!!!!

I am happy that so many of these infidels HATE I.C.E. AGENTS!!! Hating the American government will make it easy for us to overthrow your freedom!!! Instead of singing, you should be blocking the street AND PRAYING TO ALLAH!!!!

Well, that's my report from the blood-red carpet. From the Crypto,com Arena, back to you, Red Squirrel!!! ALLAHU AKBAR AND FREE PALESTINE!!!!!

HEADLINE: WICKED WITCH BLAMES TRUMP FOR APPLE CIDER VINEGAR ATTACK

 

Is ''The Exorcist'' A Metaphor For Modern Politics?

 

In 1973, ''The Exorcist'' invaded movie theatres, scaring the Hell out of movie-goers across America.. The story of a demon-possessed girl, her terrified Mother, Catholic Fathers Damien Karras and Lamkester Merrin, and the Demon Pazuzu made Americans faint all over the country..

I was watching several YouTube reaction videos with (mostly) young people seeing the movie for the first time, and it dawned on me that perhaps this classic horror movie might be a metaphor for the modern American political scene.

The story starts with Affluent-White-Female-Urban-Liberal Chris MacNeil and her daughter, Regan. The mother is divorced, and the Father is completely out of the picture. There's one scene where mother Chris is yelling at him on the phone for missing little Regan's birthday. The Mother uses The Lord's name in vain a lot and she and her daughter play around with a OUIJA BOARD, opening their home to unclean (Democrat) spirits. 

Chris MacNeil is an actress, probably a very liberal Hollywood actress. I see her as a typical Affluent-White-Female-Urban-Liberal,. She probably watches The View, CNN, and MSNBC, voted for Kamala Harris, and  probably cried and screamed at her television on Election Night 2024.

The big difference between Chrissy Mac and your typical AWFUL is she sought help for her possessed daughter. Most AWFULs don't see anything wrong with the way they and their kids are, unless their kids are MAGA.

Daughter Regan is an innocent, 13-year-old girl who becomes possessed by a perverted lunatic demon Pazuzu. There's a similarity with the possession of the little girl and the indoctrination inside the communist-Democrat government school system. Reading and writing has been replaced with revolution and rioting.

Enter the pervert demon Pazuzu. He is the unclean spirit vomiting pea soup at your face, screaming blasphamies, jamming a crucifix inside your DAUGHTER'S bleeding hoo-ha, and spinning your kid's head around. In other words, Pazuzu reminds me of The Spirit of Tiktok, CNN, The View, MSNBC, the American government school system, Gavin Newsom, and Tim Walz rolled into one..

Enter Fathers Damien Karras and Lankester Merrin. Father Karris has lost his faith. He reminds me of a RINO Republican. Merrin is STRONG in his faith, and you can tell he likes putting The Demon Pazuzu in his place, kind've like the way Donald Trump, Rush Limbaugh, and Charlie Kirk confidently puts leftists in their place. The demon HATES Father Merrin because he's effective-- just like Leftists HATE Donald Trump and Charlie Kirk because THEY'RE EFFECTIVE.

It's quite a sight to see all the leftist's head spin and projectile vomit when a strong conservative (like Scott Jennings) contronts them. 

During the exorcism, The Liar Pazuzu takes on the image of Karras's saintly mother, driving him crazy with guilt. This  reminds me of the left playing around with Linguini-spined RINOs, turning some Republicans into traitors to the conservative cause. On the other hand, Karras and Merrin are at their best whern they are united. ''THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS US TO PASS THE ONE BIG BEAUTIFUL BILL!''

In the end, Father Karras sacrifices himself out of desperation because he's compromised spiritually, He gives in to the demon just like a RINO GIVING IN TO THE LEFTIST DEMOCRATS, ALTHOUGH HE does GET THE JOB DONE.The ending of this film reminds me of the way they end government shutdowns in DC.

The possession takes place in Georgetown, which is IN The District of Columbia. I wonder how many Congressional Democrat liars (and Washington Post writers) are possessed by an unclean spirit. 

I bet YOU can find other similarities with ''The Exorcist'' and the current political scene.

Nicolae Carpathia Comments On The Disruption On The Church Service In St. Paul

In the famous Rolling Stones song ''Sympathy For The Devil'',  Mick Jagger sang ''Every cop is a criminal, and all the sinners, saints''. In Minnesota, well-paid communist agitators are stalking and assaulting federal ICE agents trying to enforce immigration law.

The criminals running Minnesota are trying to have these federal agents removed so they can defraud and rob the taxpayers ''in peace''. After all, Blue-state Minnesota is criminal TURF. Third-world criminals and the politicians running the state REWARD each other victimizing the law-abiding residents.

Last Sunday, America-hating, Christian-hating racist communist lunatics disrupted and terrified a Christian congregation in St. Paul, led by well-known sodomite, leftist former CNN host Don Lemon. They violated the worshippers' civil rights, and arguably, violated The FACE ACT.

We at RSR believe in getting both sides of this story, so we asked The Anti-Christ to comment:

I have my decieved foot soldiers believing they're doing GOD'S WORK, HARASSING FEDERAL COPS AND PROTECTING MY CRIMINALS, CROOKED POLITICIANS AND ILLEGALS !!! My prize thug Tim Walz, Minneapolis Panderer-Mayor jacob frey, and wonderfully-corrupt Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison are doing a commendable job getting the out-of-control fraud and theft off the front page!!! 

Their wonderful lunacy have the world so in SHOCK, people are forgetting about their blatant corruption and RAMPANT criminality. Minnesota is currently run by communists, criminals, corruptocrats, crooks, creeps, and cross-dressers!!!! ALL MY FAVORITE PEOPLE!!!!

On the other hand, damn that goody-good CITIZEN REPORTER Nick Shirley!!! He exposed our operation of third-world criminals stealing from the taxpayers WITH THOSE DAMNED SOMALI FRAUD VIDEOS ON TWITTER!!! DAMN HIM!!!! DAMN ELON MUSK!!!!

Our Wonderfully AWFUL (Affluent, White Female Urban Liberals) stalk and interrupt ICE agents while they try to do their job. Renee Good ran one over, causing him to suffer internal bleeding. He OVER-REACTED, and shot her. MY DEMONIC RESPONSE TEAM (leftist network and cable news reporters) TELL THE WORLD HE IS A MURDERER!!! 

I HAVE MUCH OF THE WORLD COMPLETELY DECIEVED!!!

My demonic LEFTIST sugar daddy George Soros and my big money leftist MACHINE send out my well-paid communist agitaters, rioting and threatening everyone who STILL SUPPORTS ICE, BUT TIME IS GETTING SHORT!!! IF I'M GOING TO DESTROY AMERICA, I BETTER DO IT NOW!!!

That brings me to our attack of the Cities Church in St. Paul LAST SUNDAY. My BLM (Burn-Loot-Mu....) foot soldiers BLATANTLY STORMED INTO THE CHURCH YELLING AT AND  accusing worshippers of BEING WHITE AND of SUPPORTING ICE. They terrified and harassed White-Christian children. My demonic, leftist stormtroopers violated their puny Constituional rights. 

Me and my personal friends Klaus Schwab and Barack Obama were cheering and rooting them on, but it looks like AMERICANS DO NOT LIKE TO SEE CHURCH SERVICES BEING DISRUPTED BY HATEFUL, RACIST LUNATICS. If I ran the world, my worldwide government would be persecuting practicing Christians while I SLAP GOD IN THE FACE!!!

Well, a guy can dream, CAN I? : )

HEADLINE: CORRUPT MN GOVERNOR INCITES ''GOOD TROUBLE'' TO HIS AGITATORS OUTSIDE MANSION

 

There' was a heckler..............

''HEY JACK-ASS, EAT A TAMPON!!!!!''

Marge Gunderson: There's More To Life Than Money And Power

One year from now...

A convoy of buses full of crooked DFL politicians make their way to a new, very large prison west of the Twin Cities. Large, white snowdrifts cover the highway plowed just hours ago.

The lead prison transport bus is being driven by Sheriff Marge Gunderson. There's a look of disappointment on her face. She glances at former Governor Tim Walz in her mirror. Her deputees had nabbed him trying to escape out the window of a Moose Lake motel room in just boxer shorts and wife-beater t-shirt. 

They discovered him shredding records that proved his guilt in various fraud crimes mostly involving Somali criminals. He ALSO committed perjury during his recent meltdown appearances before Congress.

President Trump had to enforce The Insurrection Act when top democrat politicians urged their supporters to illegally harrass and violently riot against ICE agents.

The other buses are filled with Somali criminals and DFL politicians involved with numerous fraud crimes. The sound of the bus overtook her, and she broke the silence:

''So, those must have been your documents in the paper shredder. You know, there's more to life than power and money. Don't you know that? You and your corrupt supporters rewarding each other with the taxpayer's money. That wasn't nice defrauding us working stiffs. 

I just don't understand it.''

Everyone looked out the windows as the buses passed the statues of Paul Bunyun and Babe the Blue Ox.

''Then, you tried to start a Civil War because ICE agents were arresting and deporting violent illegal alien criminals, and you threw a hissy fit because those violent third-world criminals were your voter base.'' 

Sheriff Margie Gunderson let out a sad, disappointed sigh.

HEADLINE: AMERICA-HATING THIRD-WORLD CORRUPTOCRAT DEMANDS THAT FEDERAL AGENTS LEAVE MPLS

 

MY LATEST POST ''ERIC CARTMAN REPORTS FROM MAMDANI'S SWEARING-IN'' WAS DELETED

 

Well, Google/ Blogger just deleted another post. Apparently,  your bushy-tailed correspondent has VIOLATED their ''community guideliness' again, so I'm going to re-word the post. I thought it was hilarious. 

Here I go again:

One week ago, ''Social-democrat'' Zohran Mamdani was sworn in as New York City's new Mayor. Our cub reporter, Eric Cartman, was on the scene:

Yes, RedSquirrel, I am here, but I'm getting out of here before the Mamdani regime discovers that I'm a White property owner.

(Shouting at the crowd): ''YOU BLANKET-BLANKS VOTED FOR FREE SUBWAY FARES, AND HE HAS ALREADY RAISED THEM TO $3.00!!!! COMMIE FOOLS!!!

Mamdani just said that he wants ro replace the rigidity of rugged individualism with the warmth of collectivism!  I think that means he wants to replace the hustle and bustle if Wall Street with PRISON WORK CAMPS OR SOMETHING. THAT SOUNDS DOWNRIGHT COZY!!!

There are Muslims blocking traffic. HEY YOU!!! GET THE .....................BEFORE SOMEONE..........!!!

He promises city-owned grocery stores. The idiots who voted for mamdani the Commie will probably be standing in line for toilet paper soon. Maybe Mamdani will make RENT cheaper, just like he did for bus and subway fares. Stupid voters.

Well, that's it from here at The Mamdani swearing-in. In the words of former NYC Mayor Edward Koch, who said ''The voters have made their choice, and NOW THEY MUST BE PUNISHED!''

SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M OUTTA HERE!!! BACK TO YOU, REDSQUIRREL......

Red Forman Wishes Everyone A Happy New Year

Dear readers, Happy New Year,  

So, how did Americans and the world celebrate New Year? Did you and your honey go to a New Year's celebration at a local bar or did you curl up on the couch with some champaigne or a pizza? Did you go see a band or watch New Year's Rock N' Eve on the TV?

There are those who believe that celebrating the new year displeases Allah, the ficticious moon idol worshipped by mohammadons with funny beards. Here to comment on this is our Everydad commentator, Red Forman:

Thanks, RedSquirrel....

My excellent wife Kitty and I went to our favorite watering hole with our neighbors, Don and Midge. My smart aleck son Eric and his buddies Hyde, Kelso, and their funny Indian friend, watched Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve in the basement (and probably smoked a doobie at midnight). Idiots.

As Americans and most of the world counted down to The New Year, I checked my Twitter and saw several videos of ''Islamic scholars'' telling us that celebrating New Years is FORBIDDEN, and their imaginary moon idol ''Allah'' will punish anybody celebrating it.

First of all, ''Islamic scholars'' sounds like an oxymoron. These damn mohammadon killjoys hate bacon, pork, dogs, music, smiling, attractive women, bikinis, mascara, and damn near EVERYTHING. These hateful douches need a good boot up the ass!!

These assholes threaten us on tiktok, and tell us they will outbreed us, then take over the Western countries, including The United States of America. Someone tell these ragheads that there's ''a surprise'' behind EVERY blade of grass WAITING FOR THEM IF THEY EVER TRY!!!

Someone tell these inbred doofuses with funny beards that the only thing they will accomplish is PISS US OFF!!!

Well, anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO THE CIVILIZED WORLD, and as for the islamic scholar jerkoffs, I say

'HAPPY NEW YEAR, A$$HOLES!!!'