2026: Beyondo's Warning To The State Of Minnesota

2025 has been a highly eventful year. We are honored that our favorite soothsayer and prophet, The Great BEYONDO, is here with a warning to THE STATE OF MINNESOTA!!!

Yes, yes, I am seeing the future, and I see potential horror for the state of Minnesota. The NORTH STAR STATE MUST TAKE HEED!!!! 

If you re-elect THE EVIL ONE as governor, I am terrified at what may happen in the FUTURE!!!

If you re-elect Tampon Tim IN 2026,  Minnesota WILL BE RULED BY MOHAMMODAN THIEVES AND COMMIE-DFL CROOKS, AND THEY WILL BEGIN THROWING THEIR OPPONENTS IN THE CAPITOL DUNGEON!!!

Committing theft and fraud will be legal as long as you belong to a protected class. All judges will be made very rich thru bribery, and as for you law-abiding Minnesotans, the U.S. (AND MINNESOTA'S) Constitution will be replaced with a new law:

''Show me the Republican, and I will show you the crime!!!"

EVERY MINNESOTAN WHO REFUSES (OR JUST CAN'I) OBEY THE NEW INSANE MINNESOTA PAID LEAVE LAW IS EITHER SUED INTO OBLIVION BY CORRUPT ATTORNEY GENERAL KEITH ELLISON OR THEY MUST LEAVE THE STATE!!!.

Instead of banishing illegal aliens, the corrupt government force life-long Minnesotans to leave,

Corrupt Congressperson Ilhan Omar will be named QUEEN OF MINNEDISHU by THE EVIL ONE, and the Minnesota Senate passes a new HARAM tax THAT TRIPLES HER FORTUNE.

In Minnesota, there's no death penalty for psychotic murderers, but there IS a death penalty for innocent, unborn babies. To honor the abortion industry, he Evil One has a 60-foot idol dedicated to Moloch UNVEILED inside The State Capitol.

Finally, The Evil One celebrates the beginning of his third term by declaring the formerly American state of Minnesota is NOW A SATELLITE OF SOMALIA.

TO HONOR OUR NEW MOHAMMADON OVERLORDS, TJE EVIL ONE PASSES DOZENS OF NEW LAWS MAKING ALMOST EVERYTHING ILLEGAL. BACON, PORK, OWNING A DOG, WEARING PERFUME OR A DRESS, CHRISTMAS, MUSIC, ECT. BECOMES PUNISHABLE BY even MORE taxes!!!

Vote accordingly, Gopher State. Your future is at stake!!!

Somalis And Leftists: Somalis BUILT Minnesota

I used to think that The State of Minnesota joined the union in 1858, and that The Minnesota Vikings professional football franchise made it's debut in the early 1960's. I thought that at one time the City of Minneapolis was famous for the milling of flour and that former Governor Wendell Anderson graced the cover of Time magazine touting the good life in Minnesota in the 1970's.

Fast forward to 2025. Minnesota is ruled by ultra-corrupt lunatic Democrats like Governors Tim Walz, Attorney General Keith Ellsion, and third-world corruptocrat Ilhan Omar. In the mid 1990's, about 80,000 migrants from the failed state of Somalia settled in the latgest city in Minnesota,  Minneapolis. 

In the last 10 years, many, many Somalis have been found defrauding at least a half dozen taxpayer-funded government programs, and Almost 90% of Somalis with children are on Welfare. That's what the conservatives on Twitter, the hosts on talk radio, and pundits on FOXNEWS have said.

But, there are those on the left on Twitter that are telling me that it was THE SOMALIS who built Minnesota!

Apparently, Minnesota did not join the union in 1858 as I always thought. The state of Minnedishu began in 1993 when 80,000 Somalis arrived in Minneapolis.

Since then, he Somalis planned and built The skyline in downtown Minneapolis AND St. Paul and built The Malll of America. The I.D.S. Tower is the greatest of the skyscapers ALSO built by The Somalis.

They also founded the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. Without the Somalis, White, racist world leaders would have to go elsewhere for their medical care.

RACIST White Minnesotans built The I-95 Bridge, and the poorly-designed structure collapsed in 2007. Somali engineers and builders re-built it.

Somalis drew up and built the Twin Cities freeway system AS WELL AS THE LIGHT-RAIL SYSTEM IN 2004. As for UNIVERSITY AVENUE, it would never even exist without Somali planning and construction. The project would never have been funded without the tireless work of Minnesota's GREATEST PUBLIC SERVANT,  'Representative Ilhan Omar. 

So, there you have it. Without The Somalis, Minnesota is NOTHING. Just ask them.

OUR NEW TOP TEN COUNTDOWN: THE TOP TEN MOST INSANE MUSLIM BELIEFS

 

If you spend ANY time on Twitter, you see lots of ''Muslim scholar'' videos (''Muslim scholars''? now THAT'S AN OXYMORON!!!) telling the world what they plan on doing once they conquer the non-Muslim world. These 7th century inbreds with funny beards see themselves as a master race, and that the rest of the world must bow down to their insane, backward ideas.

They believe that they will conquer the world by OUR-BREEDING the rest of the world, by MURDERING and RAPING non-believers, and blocking far more civilized human beings trying to get to work by sticking their asses in the air and praying in the middle of the street and thinking their moon idol Allah will hear them..

Their ''ideas'' are so  LOONEY, and their teachings of right and wrong are so creepy and backward  that it makes you wonder if they're just PUTTING US ON.

From our home office in Bovey, Minnesota, Here is our new Top Ten List is The Top Ten Most Insane Muslim Beliefs. I realize that there  are probably hundreds of crazy, wierd beliefs espoused by the Mohammadons, but here's a starter list:

10. White men without beards are gay. 

 9. There's a ''RIGHT WAY'' to beat your WIFE.

 8. It's O.K. to marry a 9 year old.

 7. Christmas is evil. Never say ''MERRY CHRISTMAS''.

 6. Homosexuals deserve to die.

 5  Women who don't wear a burka deserve to be raped.

 4. Muslims believe they will and should rule the world.

 3. It is wrong (haram) to keep a DOG as a pet.

 2. You get to heaven by killing and terrorizing non-Muslims.  

 1. Eating BACON is prohibited.

On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas, the MN D.F.L. Gave To Us

 On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, the Minnesota D.F.L.Gave To Us....

12 Government programs defrauded

11 shitty new state flags

10,000 Somalis stealing 

90,000 small businesses leaving 

80,000 fake ballots

7 stolen elections

60,000 welfare scammers

50,000 illegal aliens

4  Boys' room tampons                             

30 violent criminals let out of prison

2 cross-dressers in the legislature

and one ''knuckle-headed'' governor

HEADLINE: JASMINE CROCKETT DEMANDS THE RELEASE OF THE JUAN EPSTEIN FILES

   

 

TOP TEN LIST: SOCIALIST LUNATIC TN DEMOCRAT AFTYN BEHN'S TOP CAMPAIGN PROMISES

Tomorrow (December 2) is an off-off-year special election in Tennesee's CD 7, pitting Matt Van Epps (R) and lunatic-leftist Aftyn Behn. Aftyn wants to raise taxes, and she has also said she HATES Country Music.

Her supporters say she has a chance to win this election. Some people are saying that the Republican voters will still be too tired recovering from their Thanksgiving Tryptophan COMA to get to their local polling station and vote.

The Democrat appears to be deliberately angering the voters of mostly-conservative Tennessee, but we will see when the voters are cast and counted.

From the home office in Bovey, Minnesota, Here are THE TOP TEN AFTYN BEHN CAMPAIGN PROMISES:

10. Aftyn promises to SPIT AND BURN THE AMERICAN FLAG.

  9. Aftyn promises to replace all statues of Andrew Jackson with statues of Barack Obama.

  8. Aftyn promises a Southern Mansion for EVERY ILLEGAL

  7. Aftyn promises to tear GRACELAND down and replace it with a ''BIG MOSQUE''.

  6. Aftyn promises to replace Tennessee Orange with The Colors of The Pride Flag.

  5. Aftyn promises to step on your blue suede shoes.

  4. Aftyn promises to change the spelling of her name every 4 months (if elected).

  3,  Aftyn promises ''FREE SEX CHANGES''.

  2.  Aftyn promises to close down the GRAND OLE OPRY.

  1.  Aftyn promises to DEPORT DOLLY PARTON.

FROM THE CREATORS OF THE OFFICE and BORAT.....SOMALI OFFICE

Disclaimer: I just LEARNED that (FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME) my latest post was deleted / disallowed by Google, so I will try to re-post it, watching my languarge.

I really thought the original post was very funny:

Last week, I was listening to The Jon Justice Radio Show on TCNT, During a discussion on The rampant f.... in Minneapolis Somali cummunity he commented on a couple episodes of The Office where Dwight Schrute attempted to open a Day Care Center and a fitness gym in the building,  Justice compared it to Somalis in Minneapolis offering fake services in moreless empty office buildings, before skipping out with millions in taxpayer dollars. This gave me a idea for a TV show (or movie).....

SOMALI OFFICE: FROM THE CREATORS OF THE OFFICE AND BORAT.....

The story begins 9 years ago with Somali ''DREAMERS'' moving into various offices in the Ceder / Riverside neighborhood.

The Somalis ''culturally enrich'' The Feeding Our Future'' program, and ''become the backbone'' of the city. That is, until a local investigative reporter starts snooping around.

They ''make their dreams come true'' and elect of a Somali Congressperson.

(The original post was biting and quite funny, but someone found the post offensive, so I'll just end it here.)

I hope this doesn't offend anybody.