Tuesday is Cinco de Mayo, and our friends at The Mayo Clinic would like to remind everyone that Cinco de Mayo is the day you should check the freshness of the mayonnaise in your refrigerator.
If your mayonnaise smells or tastes rancid or spoiled, just dump the spoiled mayo down the cinco.
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The fans of, descendents of, admirers of, and families of Martin Luther King, The King of Rock And Roll (Elvis Presley), Evelyn ''Champaigne'' King, Alan King, Billie Jean King, 'King'' (Labron) James, King Diamond, King Vitamin, If I was The King of the world, King Harvest, King Kong, The ''King of Country'' George Strait, heavy metal band King Kobra, Nat King Cole, the rock band King's X, The Sacramento KIngs, The Los Angeles Kings, The King of the Night Time World, I took her to the hotel and she said ''You're the king'', Burger King, King Arthur, King James, King Louis, KIng Phillip, KIng David, King Henry the Eighth, King Tut, King Kamehameha, King Harald V, King Carl XVI Gustaf, The King of Diamonds, The King of Hearts, The King of Clubs, The King of Spades, King Frederik X, KIng Kong Bundy, King Hippo, King Montezuma, The King of the Jungle, Benny Goodman (The King of Swing), The King of the Road, King Nicolaus, King Nebuchadnezzer, The King of Saud, King Crimson, The King Biscuit Flower Hour, AND KIng Othello
would like to know why you're so intolerant of ''All Kings''. What did THEY ever do to you?
Get the bug out of your ass, you intolerant communist lunatics.
Heh, heh, heh.......I just flew in from New York City. Actually, I didn't fly. NYC is run by communist mohammadon stooge Zohran Mamdani, SO I HAD TO RIDE IN A HORSE-DRAWN HAY-WAGON 400 miles. Don't worry about me, though. I felt the warmness of collectivsm SURROUNDED BY all that hay!
Before Mamdani was elected, bread waited for you. Now, you'll stand in line just for toilet paper when Mamdani opens his city-run grocery stores in 2029! Heh, heh, heh. Hooray for collectivism!
I saw May Day parade and the bolsheviks were yelling ''WORKERS OVER BILLIONAIRES!!!'' In Soviet Union and Minneapolis, the only rich people were oligarchs, Somali fraudsters and party members, while the workers are DEFRAUDED and their taxes raised. Many ''lucky''workers won't have to worry about taxes anymore when the $15 minimum wage destroys their job.
In Soviet Russia, we had The KGB. In Minnesota, you had Tim Walz's Covid Snitch LIne. These protesters act like they're the Polish underground resistance or something. SILLY LITTLE, AMERICA-HATING BOLSHEVIKS!!!
I also saw the ''No Kings'' protests A FEW WEEKS AGO, and I was wondering what do these protestors have against the King of Rock n' Roll Elvis Presley, Billy Jean King, and MARTIN LUTHER KING????? WHAT????
These crazy protestors REALLY hate PRESIDENT TRUMP. Did THEY ALL GET FIRED on ''The Apprentice'' or something? They freely and loudly call him NAZI AND HITLER. They carry signs and yell, yet HE SENDS nobody to concentration camp or prison work camp. Trump must be the WORST DICTATOR EVER!!!
Today the government school teachers marched. If you can read, thank a teacher or your parents. If you CAN'T read, thank a teacher's union! These teachers took their students out of class and brought THEIR FUTURE COMMUNIST AGITATORS to the march.
The government schools have stopped teaching ''reading and writing'', and replaced it with ''revolutions and rioting!'' These green-haired, commie teachers do such an amazing job at these LEARING CENTERS!!! Heh, heh, heh......What a SYSTEM!!!!
It's absolutely wild that billionaire Communist Democrat sugar daddies like George Soros finances these hate-filled, anti-American protests to destroy the country that allows them to protest freely in the FIRST PLACE!!!
WHAT A COUNTRY!!!!!!Heh, heh, heh..............
''We will replace the frigidity of rugged individualism with the warmth of collectivism''---New York Mayor Zohran Mamdani
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For my Somali supporters, leftist lunatics and violent UNDOCUMENTED MIGRANTS, THE STATE OF THE STATE IS STRONG!!!! For the rest of you, NOT SO MUCH!!!
Under my RULE, THE STATE OF MINNESOTA HAS EXPERIENCED A TAKE-OVER BY COMMUNISTS, CORRUPTOCRATS, CRIMINALS, CROOKS, CREEPS, AND CROSS-DRESSERS!!!! We have allowed violent ''UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS' and carjackers to run rampant!!!! The Democrat Trifecta has made the North Star State UNRECOGNIZABLE!!!!!
We passed the most extrme Abortion law IN THE WORLD, and made child mutilation EVERY CHILD'S RIGHT!!!!
I shut the state down for Covid and started my COVID SNITCH LINE. i SURRENDERED THE STREETS OF MINNEAPOLIS TO THE RIOTERS, AND LET THEM BURN DOWN THE CITY!!
We Democrats REWARDED our Somali friends by letting them ROB THE TAXPAYERS, STARTING WITH THE FEEDING OUR FRAUD / BLEEDING OUR TAXPAYERS LEGISLATION!!!! Then, we did away with the ''racist'' old Minnesota State Flag and INTRODUCED A NEW STATE FLAG THAT LOOKS A LOT LIKE THE FLAG OF SOMALILAND.
Because of me and the 80,000+ Somali migrants imported into the city of Minneapolis, OUR STATE UNDER MY WATCH HAS BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO A CRIME-RIDDEN, CORRUPT SATELITE OF SOMALIA!!!! HEAR, HEAR!!!!!!
Minnesota is and always will be a SANCTUARY STATE!!!! The NAZI in The White House sent HIS GESTAPO to arrest and deport OUR NEIGHBORS FROM Central and South America, but I TELL YOU THIS....
WE ARE THE DEMOCRATS, AND WE DON'T HAVE TO OBEY YOUR SILLY, LITTLE FEDERAL LAWS!!!!!
I WAS SO PROUD OF OUR ''NO KINGS'' RALLIES, WHERE TENS OF THOUSANDS OF OUR AFFLUENT-WHITE-FEMALE-LEFTIST NEIGHBORS PROTESTED AGAINST ''KINGS'', AND MANY OF THE SAME PEOPLE RECENTLY WELCOMED ENGLAND'S KING CHARLES FOR HIS AMERICAN VISIT!!! HIP, HIP, HOORAY!!!!! SOME KINGS ARE ACCEPTABLE!!!!
We rioted to distract everyone from my rampant corruption and incompetence, and it looks like I will make it to the end of my second term. In fact, my GREATEST accomplishment is that I've somehow avoided prison!!!!
As you all know, I've decided to not seek a third term. The NAZI in The White House is investigating ME. Other than 8 long , painful years of corruption, THEY'VE GOT NOTHING ON ME!!!! THEY JUST HAVE THEIR STUPID RED HATS!!!!
Before I was elected in 2018, Minnesota led the nation in education, health care, and economic developement. NOW, WE LEAD THE NATION IN CORRUPTION AND FUNDING TERRORISM.
Our schools USED TO excel in ''reading and writing'', and now we lead in ''REVOLUTION AND RIOTING''.
As I leave office, I promise to pretend to fight fraud, and keep on bad-mouthing and threatening bodily harm to my opponents BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MY UNHINGED, AMERICA-HATING VOTER BASE DEMANDS!!!
THANK YOU.....AND TO ALL YOU REPUBLICAN NAZIs, SCREW YOU!!!!!!
Two days before lunatic Cole Tomas Allen attempted to assassinate members of The Trump Administration at The White House Correspondent's Dinner, late-night host Jimmy Kimmel made a hateful joke suggesting that First Lady Melania Trump ''had the glow like an expectant widow.''
We asked an everyday American, Garth Algar, what he thought of the joke, and this is what he said:
''If Jimmy Kimmel Live! were an ice cream flavor, it would be PRALINES......AND DOUCHE.....
...........WITHOUT THE PRALINES......."
We despise the rich but we love our graft
We worship Obama, he saved healthcare, yeah!
We hate guns but love murder
We hate free speech and love indoctrination
When we lose we go crazy!
What it all boils down to, is Trump drives us out of our mind, mind, minds
We got our hands in your pocket, to fund our NGO's
We are drunk when we're in power
We voted for Mamdani because we want free stuff
It isn't greed when we take your money
We care, unlike those G.O.P. NAZIs
We're guilty of what we accuse you of doing
and we NEVER have to say ''We're sorry''
What it boils down to, is that we can always LIE, LIE, LIE
We got our hands in your pocket, we give your stuff to our illegal alien voters
(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK)
What it all comes down to
The government should run your life
We got our hands in your pocket, and your paycheck belongs to us
We want free stuff and we're focused
Our green agenda will save the world
We'll stop those oil companies
America's enemies are laughing
We are loyal, but we are traitors too
Liberalism is a mental disorder
And what it all boils down to
We're looney hyp....o.....crites
We got our hands in your pocket
and we're playing you like a stradivarias
And what it all comes down to, my friends, yeah
If you complain we will call you names
We got our hands in your pocket
You will go to jail if you don't pay your taxes
In-commie-deep-blue, one-party California, the America-hating leftist voters are looking at some new leftist candidates to confiscate even MORE from the taxpayers. Here to report on this lunacy is our cub reporter, Side-eye Chloe:
California Democrats are without their leading gubernatorial candidate now that compromised, serial rapist Eric Swalwell was forced out of the race. Another candidate, unhinged pottymouth Katie Porter is featured on YouTube in a series of ridiculously unflattering campaign vids of her cursing out her campaign staffers.
The Democrats are looking for the next governor who must carry a literal torch destroying the state from the complete disaster of Gavin Newsom. Greasy Gavin has destroyed the state, and is deciding if he will run for President in 2028 or announce himself The Anti-Christ.
There's a new candidate, billionaire hedge fund manager, Tom Steyer. Steyer is a climate change alarmist who made a fortune from dirty fossil fuels AND climate change alarmism. I haven't seen anyone this excited since my Mom told me and my sister we were going to Disneyland.
Steyer wants to abolish I.C.E. while he invested heavily in jails USED BY I.C.E.
He ALSO opposes private schools while putting his own kids iin PRIVATE SCHOOLS, saying that he won't SACRIFICE his kids by putting them in public school..
All this hypocracy must be very exciting to his supporters. The rest of us aren't feeling it.
Under Democrat one-party rule, California leads the entire country in POVERTY, CORRUPTION, HOMELESSNESS, and the state government has done NOTHING for the victims of the inferno that destroyed The Pacific Palisades area of Los Angeles.
The voters of California will vote in what is called a ''jungle primary'', which means that every candidates' votes will be ''counted'', and the two leading candidates will run in the General Election in November. Right now, two REPUBLICANS are leading in the polls, Steve Hilton and Chad Bianco.
It's possible that California will elect it's first Republican Governor since The ''Governator'' Arnold Schwarzzeneger won a ''Total Recall'' ELECTION in 2003, but that doesn't excite the mainstream news media much. In fact, some of them seem to be in a panic.
Maybe if Dwayne ''The Rock'' Johnson entered the race, that would excite the local news media.
This is Chloe, reporting from The Left Coast. Back to you, RedSquirrel.
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California Democrat Eric Swalwell
According to these findings, Sodom City Hall had raised taxes to pay for new bath houses just before the city was destroyed, and allowed criminals from East Africa to defraud the taxpayers. The city opened the first ''learing'' centers, and the corrupt city government paid for protests against King Donatello of Jordan. They did this to distract the local citizens and hide their rampant corruption.
Many ancient scrolls from Sodom City Hall suggest the city was ran by homosexuals, foreigners and corruptocrats. Even though the government was ran entirely by sodomites and foreigners, those in power were ALWAYS complaining about ''the lack of LGBTQ rights''.
The Sodom City Council was dominated by foreigners and cross-dressers just before the city was destroyed by fire and brimstone raining down from the sky.
One wall painting the archeologists found depicted a protestor trying to run over an immigration officer, and killed when he threw a spear in defense. Following this occurence, there were months of rioting, as Prince Jakkob blamed the immigration officers for the riots.
He pandered relentlessly to his corrupt foreign supporters.
In Gommorrah, Prince Melvyn threw a corruption orgy for his favorite city bureaucrats, raiding and emptying the city coffers. The local Affluent White female Lesbians and STD-infected Gommoreans were too busy partaking in their sex and spending orgies to notice or care.
The governments in Sodom and Gommorrah misappropriated the taxpayers money, allowing their East African supporters to defraud the cities. The needy poor were ignored and the foreigners became filthy rich just before the cities were destroyed. Both cities raised a wealth tax on the small, productive heterosexual population.
Our archeologists also discovered a man named Lot voting with his feet. He escaped just as the fire and sulfer began to rain down on the wicked cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul. I mean...... Sodom and Gommorrah.
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The Democrats want to make tab fees EVEN MORE EXPENSIVE. DFL(Democrat Fraudster-Liar) House member Brad Tabke (pictured) took to the floor and blatantly made the false claim that Minnesota drivers pay a lower fee than our upper-midwestern neighbors.
Minnesota drivers pay $956, while North Dakota drivers pay $93 and South Dakota drivers pay only $75. Our neighbor to the East Wisconsin pays $85.
The cocky Democrats lie so easily because no one in the local media ever calls them on it.
WELCOME TO THE LIFESTYLES OF THE FRAUDULENT AND CRIMINAL FILTHY RICH!!!
This is your host ROBIN LEACH, and this week we're in The Land of 10,000 Frauds!!!
Minnesota, ran by DFL Communists, Corruptocrats, Criminals, Crooks, Creeps, and Cross-Dressers!!!
Minnesotaa, the state where judges are bought off and the CORRUPT LEFTIST County Attorney Mary Moriarty will ACT AS YOUR DEFENSE ATTORNEY AND LET YOU OFF WITH A SLAP ON THE WRIST........ if you're a SOMALI PIRATE ROBBING THE TAXPAYERS!!!
This is the land where a COMMUNIST MOSLEM CAN BE ELECTED TO CONGRESS, BECAUSE THE CORRUPTOCRATS IN POWER IMPORTED 80,000 SOMALIS WITH HEADS SHAPED LIKE LIGHTBULBS INTO MINNESOTA'S FIFTH CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT!!!!
MEET ultra-rich SOMALI CORRUPTOCRAT iLHAN OMAR, OWNER OF AN IMAGINARY WINERY IN ''NOBODY KNOWS WHERE IT IS''. She represents the hopelessly corrupt SOMALI Democrat stronghold of Minnesota's fifth congressional district. Here you can make A FORTUNE opening a ''Learing Center'' or a TAXPAYER-funded imaginary business with NO CUSTOMERS AND MAKE AN AMAZING FORTUNE!!!!
Most of the wealth in this city has been stolen and sent to MOGADISHU, SOMALIA. At the Minneapolis-St. Paul International airport, A MIND-BLOWING AMOUNT of tax dollers are whisked away to Africa. With all this stolen money, these FILTHY RICH FRAUDSTERS buy MULTIPLE MANSIONS, YACHTS AND LUXURY CARS!!!
FEEDING OUR FUTURE????? PSHAW!!!! IN MINNESOTA, WE FEED OUR FRAUDS, GRIFTS, AND CORRUPT MONEY-LAUNDERING SCAMS!!!! Our politicians like Governor Tampon Timmy, his stooge LIEutenant Goveror Peggy Flanagan, and State Attorney General Keith Ellison REWARD their corrupt Somali supporters HANDSOMELY with the taxpayer's money.
Well, that's it from THE CORRUPT SOMALI SATELLITE STATE OF MINNESOTA. NEXT WEEK, WE BEGIN A 19-PART SPECIAL SERIES FROM THE CORRUPT HELLHOLE THAT IS GAVIN NEWSOM'S CALIFORNIA!!! UNTIL THEN....CIAO FOR NOW!!!
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Some people do not celebrate Easter. Here to address this is The Perpetually Offended Islamic scholar Muhammad Fatah Loonatika:
You infidels celebrate your ISLAMOPHOBIC savior resurrection-fertility festival of EASTER-ISHTAR while we do holy things like plan your deaths and the destruction of Western Civilization.
Your Christian fertility festival begins with church services, with your women wearing brightly colored dresses that doesn't EVEN cover them completely. There's no hijab or burqa, and it gravely displeases Allah. Soon, we Muslims will enter EVERY home and we will put an end to this OUTRAGE!!!
After your church wervices, you anger Allah further with a HAM DINNER!!!! This makes many of us CRY!!!! You commit this grave sin of EATING PIG while we Muslims DO holy THINGS, such as r@ping your 13-year-old daughters and bombing your cities. ALLAHU AKBAR!!!! We are holy while you are haram!!!
Then, you in The West turn on your BIG SATAN TV and watch LITTLE SATAN JEWISH PROPAGANDA, WATCHING ''THE TEN COMMANDMENTS''!!! It depicts The Pharoah Rameses AS A BAD MAN, but he was A GOOD, GOOD MAN AND GREAT ROLE MODEL, ENSLAVING THE JEWS!!!
You immoral ISLAMOPHOBES dye Easter eggs in bright, festive colors when you should cover the eggs in a burqa!! You enjoy PEEPS, jelly beans, and Tadbury Creme Eggs when you should be forced to pay our Jizya tax!!!
Soon, us Muslims will be running THE WORLD, and there will be NO MORE EASTER. Your TREASONOUS Democrat politicians are handing control of your countries to us, AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE HAM DINNERS OR PRETTY EASTER DRESSES FOR YOU INFIDELS!!!! ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!
The finale of this woke silliness, the well-funded ''No-Kings'' rallies across the country, gave geriatric hippies and Affluent White Female Leftistss an opportunity to make fools of themselves and get their faces on the news.
In St. Paul, Minnesota, the governor who set up a Covid Snitch Line and robbed the taxpayers BLIND yelled about that ''fascist/king'' President Trump.
If you went into the crowd and asked leftist attendees ''How is Donald Trump ACTING LIKE A KING''? they could not give you a single example. These protestors simply HATE him because he won the 2024 presidential election and they are acting out because that''s what democrat-communists do.
A couple weeks ago, Democrats in Minnesota proposed a law giving WILD RICE a right to life. Two years ago, these Minnesota Democrats passed the MOST CRUEL ABORTION LAW IN THE WORLD. NOT JUST AMERICA. THE WORLD. MORE EXTREME THAN COMMUNIST CHINA. MORE EXTREME THAN NORTH KOREA. The same lunatics who passed Minnesota's cruel abortion law are now suggesting that WILD RICE has a right to life.
We're not sure what would happen if you cooked or ate wild rice. Perhaps The Dems consider it a hate crime.
Meanwhile, The Republicans in DC are trying to get TSA workers back on the job, The communist-dems refuse to pay them. The Republicans want to pay federal law enforcement, but the dems would rather protect their violent illegal alien voter base.
March Madness is ending because March 2026 is ending. Looney-tune Communist-Democrat madness will continue in April and beyond. Stay tuned.
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It's the song about a girl from Tennessee losing the man she loves to a woman from Texas, yet the title ''Choosin' Texas'' sounds like it could be about Americans voting with their feet. I can see a music video of Americans renting a U-HAUL and LEAVING Gavin Newsom's California or some other poorly run, corrupt blue state and heading to a Red State with no state tax and lots of sunshine.
Here to sing a new version of this song is Ella Langley and her Red State Chorus:
(Verse 1)
Just when we thought The Democrats had the majority
Americans renting U-HAUL vans to Florida and Tennessee
They've had enough of the taxes and the crime
Mamdani the Commie sucks and we think that it's time
(Chorus)
They're on their way to Texas we can tell by the way
They're voting with their feet
This crappy state government in California
Illegal aliens and crime in the street
It doesn't take FOXNEWS to see
why everyone wants to leave
The Democrats brought it all on themselves
We're Choosin' Texas, This blue state can go to Hell
(Verse 2)
Now, Gavin Newsom has really wrecked The Golden State
We're screwed and over-taxed, and we cannot wait
We'll be in Amarillo by morning
The Democrats should take it as a warning
(Chorus)
We're moving to Texas we're on our way
and the democrats are doomed
We're voting with our feet
there's a population and an economic boom
It doesn't take FOXNEWS to see
why people will vote with their feet
The blue states brought it on themselves
We're leaving the crime and looted store shelves
(Bridge)
I can see a really long line of U-HAUL VANS drivin' by
as the blue states keeps taxing you even after you die
We're moving down South for the sun and the jobs
Mamdani just gave your paycheck to the illegal alien mob
(Chorus)
They're moving to Florida, because
their governor is great!
We're moving to one of those nice, warm
LOW-TAX, CONSERVATIVE STATES
I don't need TO WATCH FOXNEWS to see
People moving down to Tennessee
The GOP will be gaining 10 or 12 (congressional seats)
The blue states brought it upon themselvces
Goodbye to the crime and looted store shelves
The blue states brought it upon themselves
C'MON EVERYBODT!!!!
Everybody's moving to Texas, Florida and Tennessee
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The Trump Administration is cutting NGO's and our generous giveaways to undocumented immigrants, yet his Secretary of WAR Pete Hegseth is wasting million$$$$ on his troops, feeding them expensive steaks and lobster for dinner!!! Oh, the INHUMANITY!!!!
The grunts should be happy with gruel RATIONS and M.R.E.'s (Meals Ready To Eat), but Secretary Hegseth has wasted almost $30million on steak and lobster!!! Meanwhile, DOGE HAS FIRED THOUSANDS OF GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES, INCLUDING I.R.S. EMPLOYEES!!!
Us Democrats needs to reign in this insane spending, and get back to the important government work of DEFRAUDING THE TAXPAYERS AND SPENDING THAT MONEY ON OUR CORRUPT GRIFTER-SUPPORTER CLASS AND UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS!!! The Trump Administration have kicked thousands of undocumented immigrants out of luxury hotels in Democrat-tun cities, and that cannot stand!.
Hegseth's grunts recieve lobster and steak, while the Somalis in Minneapolis are investigated for defrauding the taxpayers! If you ask me, the Somalis deserve THE TAXPAYER'S MONEY because they SUPPORT THE DEMOCRATS DOING THE IMPORTANT WORK OF OPPOSING TRUMP'S NAZI-REPUBLICANS!!!!
Now, the total national debt is around $38trillion!!!! All this expensive food will make the deficit EXPLODE!!!! Because Trump wastes money on feeding the troops, there is NO MONEY FOR COLLEGE ENDOWMENTS FOR AMERICA-HATING UNIVERSITIES!!! While Hegseth's grunts feast on Surf n' Turf, FEEDING OUR FUTURE REMAINS UNDER-FUNDED and poor CHILDREN are STARVING!
How are we ever going to feed the poor while Hegseth keeps feeding the troops surf n' turf? We NEED TO TAKE BACK CONGRESS OR THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION WILL ABOLISH E.B.T. CARDS AND THE COUNTRY WILL FACE A FAMINE OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS!!!!
MY HUGE FIVE-HEAD HAS A HEADACHE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!!!!
That's it for now. I am ''Five-head The Great''---Paul Begala. Back to you, RedSquirrel.
If you work for a living, The Democrats in Minnesota will try to steal everything you have and generously give it to their illegal alien, corruptocrat, educrat unionista voter base.
Three years sgo, The Democrat Trifecta passed THE MOST EXCESSIVE, EXTREME ABORTION LAW IN THE WORLD.
NOT JUST THE COUNTRY.
THE WORLD. EVEN MORE EXTREME THAN CHINA AND NORTH KOREA.
They have defrauded the taxpayers, wasted an $18billion surplus, and showered their corrupt Somali supporters with the taxpayer's money.
This week, they are arguing that WILD RICE has an inherent right to life. Innocent, unborn babies DON'T HAVE ANY RIGHTS, BUT WILD RICE SHOULD. WHAT'S NEXT? Will the dems try to make the eating of wild rice a hate crime?
So, we here at RSR think that calling this party of maladjusted, corrupt weirdos the FARMER-LABOR party should get a deserved change. From our home office in Bovey, Minnesota COMES THIS WEEK'S TOP TEN LIST. WE RE-THINK JUST WHAT THE MINNESOTA DEMOCRAT PARTY SHOULD CALL ITSELF FROM NOW ON.
What should the letters ''D.F.L.'' STAND FOR? Here we go:
10. DEMOCRAT FELON-LIAR
9. DEVIANTS-FRAUDSTERS-LUNATICS
8. DILDOS-FELONS-LOONEYBIRDS
7. DEMONIC- FUCKING-LEFTISTS
6. DEMOCRAT FRAUDSTER-LUNATICS
5. DOUCHETASTIC FUCKING-LEFTARDS
4. DEMOCRAT FELONS-LUNATICS
3. DAMNABLE FELONIOUS-LEFTISTS
2. DEMOCRAT FREAKS-LUNATICS
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1. DEMOCRAT FRAUDSTER-LIAR
Our military correspondent AND Director of Team America: World Police, Malcolm Spottswoode, shares his thoughts on this military operation:
To all pro-American Patriots and our brave warriors, I salute you and invite you to Team America Headquarters for Briefings and Cocktails. To all you who oppose this war I say you're all America-hating, butt-f........ traitors!!!!!
I am exceedingly proud of our Team America--World Police for joining in the fight (in a supporting role). Team America----''F'' YEAH!
Secretary of Kick-Ass Pete Hegseth said that we will pound the Iranian military without mercy until they submit. I couldn't have said it better!!!! Our warriors bombed The Iraniian Air Force into the dust and their Navy lays with the dead fishes!! We are wiping those towelheads out, while Some worthless Democrat crapweasels in Congress want to IMPEACH PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR DOING WHAT SHOULD'VE BEEN DONE 45 YEARS AGO.
I'm just surprised that The Film Actor's Guild hasn't tried to join the war on the side of those Iranian Shiite-Heads. Right now, we have actors Mel Gibson and Sylvester Stallone undercover in Tehran, Iran's capitol doing incredible work.
Tehran is approximately 6,300 to 6,337 miles east of Washington D.C.
The evil mohammadon Mullahs should have been wiped off the face of the Earth 45 years ago! Our people bombed the Hell out of The Iranian Capitol Building on BacaLacaDaca Street, and it was there that The Ayatollah Supreme douchebag Ali Khameini was sent to his eternal reward.
The cross-dressing generals of the Biden Administration would NEVER have gotten this important job done!! They were too busy giving themselves medals for applying make-up and getting runs in their panty hose!
Our Secretary of DO-THIS-OR-ELSE, Marco Rubio told the Iranian Shiite-Terrorist Mullahs to stop their nuclear blackmail and join the international community or they will be sent to eternal damnation.
The only misstep in this important operation thus far was when I mistakenly sent Our World Police to Paris and our people accidently leveled The Eiffle Tower, The French were angry, but did you see all the happy Persian Babes taking off their burkas and dancing? Soon, we will be seeing Kid Rock and Ted Nugent concerts in downtown Tehran!
To the people in The Middle East I say America wants to be your FRIEND, BUT DON'T THREATEN AMERICA WITH WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. TO ALL YOU TERRORISTS CREEPS WE AMERICANS SAY THIS---SUCK OUR B....S!!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA!! ''F'' YEAH!!!!
Malcolm F. Spottswoode, Director of Team America--World Police
Oh, and ANOTHER THING......
Thank GOD for President Trump and The Secretary of Def----I mean, WAR, Pete Hegseth for bombing the THE SIIIITE OUT OF 7TH CENTURY TERRORIST MOHAMMADONS, SENDING Ayatollah Ali Khameini AND HIS TOWELHEAD mullah friends to THEIR 72 virgins!!
For 47 years OUR SO-CALLED LEADERS ACTED LIKE PUSSY WIMPS, ALLOWING THE SPONSORS OF WORLDWIDE TERRORISM TO PUSH US AROUND!!!
AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (The Professor rips the top of a classroom desk and throws it across the room.)
A week before the bombing started, The Ayatollah insulted President Trump on Twitter/X. I like Trump's answer. GOOOOOOD ANSWER!!!
Now, we and our Israeli friends are POUNDING THE HELL out of the mohammadon Islamic tyranny's MILITARY INFRASTRUCTURE and we won't stop until these towelheads SURRENDER!!!
HEY TOWELHEADS, SAY UNCLE SAM!!!!!SAY IT.......SAAAAY IT!!!!
There are commie douchebags here in America actually protesting and carrying signs FOR THE AYATOLLAH!!!! THESE COMMIE LUNATICS SHOULD BE DEPORTED,!!!! WE SHOULD TRADE THESE AMERICA-HATING BRATS FOR THE HAPPY PERSIAN HOTTIES DANCING HAPPILY AND TAKING OFF THEIR GARBAGE BAG BURKAS!!!
Well, that's my time. I am Professor Walter Turgeson, and class is in session. Good Night.
Thanks Red.
I am seeing on Twitter and the evening news a lot of people protesting federal agents of Immigration and Customs Enforcement. If you ask the protestors, they will say that they are protesting the ''kidnapping'' of our ''neighbors''.
Are they right? That's the POPULAR viewpoint for some, but I'VE HAD NEIGHBORS HARMED BY THESE VIOLENT THIRD-WORLD ILLEGAL ALIEN ASSHOLES. WHAT ABOUT THE YOUNG GIRLS HURT AND EVEN K...... BY THESE PSYCHOTIC ANIMALS????!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
EVIL CORRUPTOCRATS LIKE THAT LEFTIST KNUCKLEHEAD TIMMY WALZ WANT TO DISTRACT US ALL AWAY FROM THEIR RAMPANT CRIMINALITY BY SENDING THESE UNHINGED, DEMENTED AWFLS, AND EVEN GOVERNMENT SCREWLS ARE TAKING THE KIDS OUT OF CLASS TO PROTEST OUR HARD-WORKING FEDERAL LAW AGENTS!!!!
AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
THE GOVERNMENT SCHOOLS HAVE REPLACED READING AND WRITING WITH COMMIE-REVOLUTION AND RIOTING. NO WONDER OUR KIDS ARE SCREWED UP!!!!!!!!
PRESIDENT TRUMP WANTS THE GOVERNMENT TO PROTECT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. WHILE THE DAMN COMMUNIST DEMOCRATS WON'T EVEN STAND UP FOR US!!!! THEY'RE TOO BUSY GRIFTING AND DEFRAUDING THE TAXPAYERS!!!! THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. IT'S JUST LIKE THE OLD ROLLING STONE SONG SAYS ''ALL THE COPS ARE CRIMINALS AND ALL THE CRIMINALS, SAINTS!!!!''
THE DEMOCRATS ARE AMERICA-HATING, CORRUPT, COMMIE JERK-OFFS!!!! SAY IT!!!! SAYYYYY IT!!!!
It's been about 15 years since I showed some of my drawings. Enjoy:
''This Means War''
I was probably vegging out and listening to Nirvana....
I thought it would be cool if ''The Thing''(1982) starred Alice Cooper.
''Cosmic Roadkill''
Here's the results:
1. The greatest President EVER is Barack Hussein Obama because he was our First Black President and because our green-haired teacher(s) told us he was.
2. Alexander Hamilton (never a president) was ranked #2. Actually the original star in the Broadway musical Lin Manuel Miranda was ranked the second-greatest president.
3. George Washington was ranked at number 3. Father of the Country. First in war, first in peace, and LAST PLACE IN THE EASTERN CONFERENCE. He could not be allowed to be #1 because of White privilege.
4. Alexandria Bernie Sanders Ocasio-Cortez. (Never a president) Our green-haired teacher's favorite president. From what we heard, this non-president was A BIG supporter of Socialism and Drag Queen Story Hour.
5. Bill Clinton. Nearly ALL of the students polled could only name 5 or 6 presidents.
6. Frankin Delano Roosevelt. He saved the country from The Great Depression and THE DONALD TRUMP NAZIS.
8. Ronald Reagan. He polled well with Republican students who were immediately expelled when their green-haired teachers found out some of the students had the nerve of ranking A REPUBLICAN in the top 10.
9.. Jimmy Carter. Nobody knows ANYTHING about him, but he has a nice smile.
10.. Joe Biden. He saved our climate from climate change.
11, Richard Nixon. He said he ''wasn't a crook.''
12-45. We know NOTHING about these guys. Many of the students polled thought that Oprah Winfrey was once a president.
46-47. The WORST President in the poll was current President Donald Trump because he's a NAZI and throws undocumented immigrants out of the country. Nearly ALL of the government school students polled were protesting HIS I.C.E. GESTAPO. HE'S AN ORANGED-HAIRED MEANY AND THEY HATE HIM ON THE VIEW, CNN, AND MSNBC!!!!!
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, OUR GREEN-HAIRED TEACHERS HATE HIM!!!!!
2. WE Democrats do not approve of THE DEATH PENALTY, except for INNOCENT, UNBORN BABIES.
3. WHEN IT COMES TO WINNING ELECTIONS, THE ENDS JUSTIFIES THE MEANS!!!
4. There is NOTHING WRONG with accusing our enemies of what WE'RE GUILTY OF.
5. We call our opponents NAZIs, so that justifies us threatening and persecuting them.
6. WE ARE COMMUNIST-DEMOCRATS, SO NONE YOUR SILLY LITTLE LAWS APPLY TO US!!! WE WERE BORN TO RULE OVER OUR ENEMIES
7. We shall use our government positions to REWARD our CORRUPT SUPPORTERS, AND our CORRUPT SUPPORTERS SHALL REWARD US WITH FRAUD, GRAFT, AND MONEY LAUNDERING.
8. It is not CHILD MUTILATION!!!! It is GENDER AFFIRMATION!!!! SCREWING WITH THE LANGUAGE IS HOW WE WIN!!!!
9. We (as well as our voters) would rather rule over ashes THAN ALLOW OUR ENEMIES TO GOVERN!!! It is better to be ruled by third-world criminals, MOHAMMADONS, and violent illegal aliens than a REPUBLICAN!!!!
10. We COMMUNIST-DEMOCRATS believe in PERSECUTING CHRISTIANS AND SHOVING ISLAM DOWN YOUR THROAT!
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Here to comment on this is 8-year-old student Ralph Wiggum:
Woo-Hoo!!! Melt the I.C.E.!!!! Oh-no!!! I just glued my ear to my shoulder!!!
Me and my fellow students are walking out of class because my teacher has green hair and hates The President!!!! Super-Ninendo Intendent Chombers and the teachers are printing protest signs for us because nobody knows how to spell.
Nelson Muntz is going to jail because he threw a bottle rocket at the I.C.E. agents. Don't worry, all the local judges are from Minneapolis!
In class we learned that I.C.E. agents are NAZIs!, and our teacher teached us that we better stop them before they send us all to concentration camps! The I.C.E. agents tell us they are going after murderers, rapists, and drug dealers. I don't take drugs but I do eat Play-Doh sometimes.
I like protesting because i hate taking tests....or being called on. The other kids laugh at me a lot. When I don't know the answer I just glue my lips together until one of the smart kids raises their hand.
Our teachers teach us to hate I.C.E. When I see someone who looks like I.C.E., I blow my whistle and scream ''I.C.E. STRANGER DANGER!!!!''
We see a lot of old people protesting too. It looks like they must have been held back at least 40 or 50 years. They must go to one of those ''special schools.''
Oh, CRAP.....I just glued my eyelids together!!!
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Once again, I must chastise and correct the infidels celebrating this cursed Western holiday. Like EVERYTHING else that you do, THIS EVIL Western holiday is Haram, offending ALLAH and the adherents of the Religion of Peace!!!!
Valentine's Day is HARAM!!! Men treating women WITH LOVE is as wrong as treating AN ANIMAL in a humane manner!!! We Muslims HATE WOMEN AND DOGS, and that's the way it should be!!!
You Westerners rape the Earth of it's cherries and chocolate when you should be raping 14-year-old girls!!! We Muslims treat women like animals, and sometimes treat animals like women because our imaginary moon idol TELLS US TO!!!'' ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!
Our God Allah hates it when a man gives a woman chocolate OR FLOWERS OR ANYTHING THAT MIGHT PUT A SMILE ON HER FACE!!! A smiling woman showing her lips SHALL BE STONED TO DEATH!!!!! THREE CHEERS FOR SHARIA!!!
Also, if a man shaves his beard he should be PUNISHED!! A man with no beard looks like a woman and is BLATANTLY TEMPTING US MUSLIMS!!!!! A man should not love a woman. Instead he should have 4 wives and treat them LIKE ANIMALS!!!! LOVE IS BLASPHEMY!!!!
Western men kiss a woman on Valentine's Day while we Muslims make suicide vests and blow ourselves up for Allah!!! THAT'S why Islam is SUPERIOR!!!!!
BY THE WAY, you in the West make graven images in the snow that you call SNOWMEN. This too is HARAM!!!! It's okay if the snowman is HEADLESS AND..............STOP LAUGHING!!!!!!! Laughter is only acceptable after you've slaughtered a Jew or Christian!!!! Then you go to paradise and get 72 virgins and slaves!! ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!
We will outnumber you and make Valentine's Day punishable by DEATH!!!! FREE PALESTINE!!!!!
D.F.L. government officials began inciting their rioters the same week that citizen journalist Nick Shirley exposed an UNBELIEVABLE level of D.F.L (Democrat fraudster-lunatic) corruption and Somali fraud. Minnesota Corruptocrats wanted these stories taken off the front page and are using their eager supporters to do their dirty work. So far, two unhinged Minnesotan leftists have lost their lives HARASSING, ASSAULTING AND THREATENING I.C.E. agents.
The corruptocrats currently running The State of Minnesota are urging on the riots, while the other 49 states are co-operating with the federal government. They are running the state into the ground and defrauding the taxpayers, but still cast themselves as ''the resistance.''
This reminds me of that classic Jack Chick Christian tract, ''The Poor Revolutionist'' where the dumb hippie revolutionaries overthrow the government only to be sentenced to death by their communist handlers. The dopey revolutionaries find out too late that they were only being used.
Some of these arrogant, decieved morons also blocked streets and operated illegal checkpoints like East German guards.
Of course, the same corruptocrats (like Peggy Flanagan) also led the insanely stupid DEFUND THE POLICE movement.
Now that ICE's operation inside Minnesota has ended, the corruptocrats are declaring ''victory'', but their RAMPANT FRAUD AND CORRUPTION will return to the front page.
Having said that, I predict The Seahawks will win the game by 20.
When obnoxious cross-dressing rapper Bad Bunny takes the stage for the Halftime Show, I predict that I will be more than a mile away from the closest television, or I may watch the All-American Alternative Halftime Show, starring Kid Rock.
I predict that all the commercials will feature handsome Black husbands with great jobs, their beautiful White wives, and all the White men (if there ARE any) will be portrayed as stupid, worthless losers, unless they are cross-dressers starring in a beer ad.
I predict there will be at least 2 commercials for upcoming movies that I wouldn't go see if you paid me $50.
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