HEADLINE: FEEDING OUR FUTURE ''RINGLEADER'' BOCK SENTENCED TO 41 YEARS IN PRISON

Feeding Our Future  FRAUD SCHEME RINGLEADER Aimee Bock was sentenced to 41 years (500 months) in prison. 

(3 years for defrauding the taxpayers and 38 more years because she's White).  

Chances are, that if she was a Somali she would've gotten just a slap on the wrist. You know how those corrupt, leftist judges in Minneapolis are.

Welcome To The Democrat's ''Moderate'' Masquerade Party

Hello, my dahlings, this is your HIGH SOCIETY REPORTER, GROANAND BEARITT, and I am here at The Democrat ''Moderate'' Masquerade Party!! Many of the guests are communists and criminals masquerading as ''moderate public servants.'' The guests are entering the ballroom!

Tonight we celebrate The Democrat's sneakiness and duplicity and their williness to lie their asses off as thry campaign . Most of them run as reasonable moderates, and THEN after fooling their idiot voters, govern like the communists, corruptocrats, criminals, crooks, creeps, and cross-dressers that they are!!!

......And here comes new Virginia Governor, Abigail Spannberger in her ''moderate mom'' mask. She ran as a moderate, and now the new governor is governing like a leftist lunatic! 

....and look over there! Here's rustic chic Minnesota Governor and ''fraud-fighter'', Tampon Timmy Walz in his FASHIONABLE, folksey Elmer FUDD RED PLAID HUNTING SHIRT. He ran as a MODERATE DEMOCRAT IN 2018,  AND THEN wasted an $18-billion surplus, pushed through an abortion law that would make Moloch proud, AND  gave the state away to his corrupt CRIMINAL Somali supporters!!!! 

AFTER DOING ALL THAT,  HE added insult to injury by introducing a new state flag that looks like the flag of Somalia!!!! Smile for the camera, Tampon!

Some notable Democrats couldn't make it to the Democrat's ''Moderate'' Masquerade Party tonight. The members of THE SQUAD, Ilhan Omar of Minnesota, Rashida Tlaib of Michigan, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York wear NO moderate mask, blatantly and consistantly showing their hatred for America and The Free Market!

Look who just arrived! It's Communist Mohammadon New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani in his giant Smiling Commie mask! He promised free transportation, free rent, and free groceries, but now everyone knows that he was just lying! He just wants to punish the rich and give the city away to extremist Muslims!

LOOK OVER THERE! It's Massachussetts Socialist Senator Elizabeth Warren in her Indian costume hobknobbing with several representatives of the ''civil rights organization'' Southern Poverty Law Center who have arrived with white bed sheets over their heads!

Over there at the punchbowl we see Maine senatorial candidate Graham Platner.wearing a shirt that hides the large nazi tatoo on his chest.

We will keep this party going until their idiot voters stop rewarding this b.s.! Ta ta!!!!!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS: WE'RE LOSING THE WAR IN IRAN BECAUSE I'M PAYING MORE AT THE PUMP!!!

  

 TRUMP WIPED OUT THE MULLAHS IN IRAN

AND DESTROYED THEIR MILITARY

I HAVE TO PAY MORE FOR A GALLON OF GAS

 

HEADLINE: VIRGINIA DEMOCRAT GERRYMANDERING SCHEME BLOWS UP IN THEIR FACE

 

Which State Flag Do REAL Minnesotans Choose??

Two years ago, the Minnesota DFL added insult to injury after their trifecta of communist loons passed the most extreme, Moloch-pleasing abortion law in human history. They squandered a huge surplus, and rewarded their CORRUPT Somali supporters, HELPING THEM rob and defraud the taxpayers on a massive scale. Their Somali supporters REWARDED them back by keeping them in power.

To top it off, some of their woke ''experts'' changed the state flag. The classic state flag was ''deemed racist'' because an American Indian was depicted on a horse. So, the leftist radicals in charge of the state threw out our classic Minnesota state flag IN FAVOR OF a new flag that bears a striking similarity to the Somaliland flag. 

Recently, about 2 dozen small towns across Minnesota voted to refuse to fly the new flag and to keep the classic flag THAT SELF-RESPECTING MINNESOTANS PREFER. The communist-DFL responded by introducing legislation to deny these small towns state aid. To these CROOKED leftist corruptocrats, surrendering the state to their Somali masters is mandatory, AND YOU OUT-STATE ''COW AND ROCK'' TOWNS HAD BETTER SURRENDER YOUR TOWN OR ELSE!!!!

When Governor Walz introduced the new flag, he did it in the most performative, OBNOXIOUS AND IN YOUR FACE  way imaginable. NO NORMAL, SELF-RESPECTING MINNESOTAN WAS CONSULTED DURING THE RIDICULOUS PROCESS. It almost seems as if Tampon Timmy was out to HUMILIATE his NORMAL, EVERYDAY opposition and make people feel HELPLESS.

Your bushy-tailed pundit is beginning to think that the new flag symbolizes the DFL's corrupt idea that Minnesota really BELONGS to the ultra-corrupt nation of Somalia. The Democrats gave the state to East African criminals, allowing them to rob the state clean, and in return, the Somalis agreed to keep these corrupt Democrats in power. I wonder if Walz, Flanagan and their allies see Minnesota as Somalia's communist satelite state or part of The United States of America.

On the classic state flag, there's a light-skinned farmer tending to a farmfield and a native-American on a horse. The communist DFLers found this offensive, so they opted for a flag that says nothing while looking like a Somali flag. There is a white shape on the new flag that is either a star or a gaping ''hole''. 

Maybe it symbolizes THE Minnesota taxpayer or something. We know the Democrats ENJOY screwing taxpayers as well as pandering to sodomites.

The color of the new flag is mostly a weak, non-descript blueish-green. I can only guess that it's a mixture symbolizing ''blue-state'' and ''environmentalist kook''-green.

There are some of us who would like to see a referendum on the 2026 Minnesota state ballot asking the voters to choose their flag, but with dozens of out-state towns refusing the new state flag and flying the classic state flag, perhaps we won't need a referendum. Rural and Suburban Minnesota towns like the old flag and the ultra-corrupt, LARGELY-FOREIGN urban center prefers flying a flag that looks  foreign.

I look forward to a time when Minnesotans will begin to see themselves as Americans again, and not a stranger in their own country or under the heel of corrupt Democrats and third-world pirates.

''Wayne's World'' Would Never Happen Now

In 1992, popular Saturday Night Live skit ''Wayne's World'' was made into a hit movie. The story features Mike Meyers as Wayne Campbell and Dana Carvey as his pal Garth Algar, two rockin' dudes having fun and starring in their most excellent public access TV show. 

I was just wondering how different it would be if they tried to film this movie in 2026.

The 1992 movie starts with young Chicago TV producer Benjamin Kane (Rob Lowe) laying in bed with a beautiful redhead. They are channel surfing when she turns it on to the public access TV channel. Her face lights up as she and Benjamin watch her favorite local PUBLIC ACCESS TV show featuring two hilarious, rockin' dudes. Benjamin believes he has found a TV show that he can sell to Noah Vanderhoff, the millionaire owner of a local chain of video game arcades. (REMEMBER VIDEO ARCADES?)

In the 2026 version, young men and women don't date, go out or have sex, so this version begins in the basement of Benji's parents house. He is a part-time doordash driver, mostly-unemployed internet enterpreneur, and he's stting alone in his underwear, watching YouTube. 

In the 2026 version, Wayne's World isn't a Public Access TV show. Instead, it's a YouTube reaction channel. Wayne and Garth's enjoy reacting to horror movies. Tonight's movie reaction is the 1968 horror classic, ''Night Of The Living Dead''. Garth is traumatized and Benjamin is amused.

Tonight's reaction video got a good number of video views and Wayne is in his parent's basement in HIS underwear checking out the comment section. Some of the comments are quite funny.

In the 1992 version, Wayne, Garth, and two buddies take ''The Mirth Mobile'' out on the town, They are playing ''Bohemian Rhapsody'' on the car's tape deck while headbanging to the beat. They go to Stan Mikita's Donuts, an eatery open 24 hours a day and it's managed by a local psychopath Glen. (played by Ed O'Neil).

Then they hit The GasWorks, a nightclub, where Wayne is quite enamored with the beautiful, exotic-looking singer-bassplayer on the stage. SCHWING!!!! It's Saturday night, and Wayne and his buds are having fun.

In the 2026 version, Wayne calls doordash and orders a pizza. Except for his YouTube channel, Wayne's life is miserable and boring. In the 1992 version, Wayne wears a ''Wayne's World'' baseball cap. In the 2026 version, Wayne wears a man-bun. Ewwww.

In the 1992 version, Wayne's love interest Cassandra, (played by Tia Carrere) is an ambitious, budding rock star. In the 2026 GENERATION Z version, Cassandra is either a member of a K-POP singing group or an obnoxious, 300-pound street protestor who hates Donald Trump. There are very few actual rock bands existing in 2026.

In the 1992 version, Wayne learns Cantonese, the language of his love interest CASSANDRA. In THE 2026 version, Wayne learns how hard it is to navigate LinketIn, where potential employers demand ''potential employees'' work without officially ever being employed or paid. He learns that most CEOs and job recruiters are psychopaths. Wayne goes back to his ''Joe Job''.

In the 1992 version, Benjamin exploits Wayne and Garth, but at least he pays them $5,000 first. In the 2026 version, Benjamin persuades Wayne and Garth to monetize their YouTube channel. They make a whopping 27.12.

In the 1992 version of Wayne's World, Wayne and Garth go to see Alice Cooper in Milwaukee, They have backstage passes and are excited to meet their hero. In the 2026 version, Benjamin gives them tickets to see Doja Kat. They leave after about 3 songs.

In the 1992 version, the conniving Benjamin tries to steal Cassandra away from Wayne, impressing her by speaking Cantonese and offering to produce her music video. Cassandra makes the video in a sexy jungle pelt and a snake draped over her.

In the 2026 version, Benjamin doesn't even like girls. Cassandra makes a lyric video and dedicates it to The MeToo Movement. If anyone dared suggest Cassandra shoot a video in a sexy jungle pelt she would sue them for HARRASSMENT.

Wayne's World 2026 couldn't happen now. People rarely go out and women are wondering where all the men have gone.

 Men don't ask girls out because when one tries, he is publicly humiliated.  If Wayne's World was filmed now it would be either the shortest, most boring, sad movie ever made or it would be quite unrealistic.

As for your bushy-tailed correspondent, he would rather live in Wayne's World than the world of 2026.

NEWS YOU CAN USE FROM THE MAYO CLINIC: CHECK YOUR MAYONNAISE

Tuesday is Cinco de Mayo, and our friends at The Mayo Clinic would like to remind everyone that Cinco de Mayo is the day you should check the freshness of the mayonnaise in your refrigerator.

If your mayonnaise smells or tastes rancid or spoiled, just dump the spoiled mayo down the cinco.

A QUESTION FOR THE ''NO KING'S'' CROWD

Dear ''No Kings'' protestors,

The fans of, descendents of, admirers of, and families of Martin Luther King, The King of Rock And Roll (Elvis Presley), Evelyn ''Champaigne'' King, Alan King, Billie Jean King, 'King'' (Labron) James, King Diamond, King Vitamin, If I was The King of the world, King Harvest, King Kong, The ''King of Country'' George Strait, heavy metal band King Kobra, Nat King Cole, the rock band King's X, The Sacramento KIngs, The Los Angeles Kings, The King of the Night Time World, I took her to the hotel and she said ''You're the king'', Burger King, King Arthur, King James, King Louis, KIng Phillip, KIng David, King Henry the Eighth, King Tut, King Kamehameha, King Harald V, King Carl XVI Gustaf, The King of Diamonds, The King of Hearts, The King of Clubs, The King of Spades, King Frederik X, KIng Kong Bundy, King Hippo, King Montezuma,  The King of the Jungle, Benny Goodman (The King of Swing), The King of the Road, King Nicolaus, King Nebuchadnezzer, The King of Saud, King Crimson, The King Biscuit Flower Hour, AND KIng Othello

would like to know why you're so intolerant of ''All Kings''. What did THEY ever do to you?

Get the bug out of your ass, you intolerant communist lunatics.

A May Day Message From Yakov Smirnoff

Here to comment on May Day  is Russian comedian Yakov Smirnoff. Take it away:

Heh, heh, heh.......I just flew in from New York City. Actually, I didn't fly. NYC is run by communist mohammadon stooge Zohran Mamdani, SO I HAD TO RIDE IN A HORSE-DRAWN HAY-WAGON 400 miles. Don't worry about me, though. I felt the warmness of collectivsm SURROUNDED BY all that hay!

Before Mamdani was elected, bread waited for you. Now, you'll stand in line just for toilet paper when Mamdani opens his city-run grocery stores in 2029! Heh, heh, heh. Hooray for collectivism!

I saw May Day parade and the bolsheviks were yelling ''WORKERS OVER BILLIONAIRES!!!'' In Soviet Union and Minneapolis, the only rich people were oligarchs, Somali fraudsters and party members, while the workers are DEFRAUDED  and their taxes raised. Many ''lucky''workers won't have to worry about taxes anymore when the $15 minimum wage destroys their job.

In Soviet Russia, we had The KGB. In Minnesota, you had Tim Walz's Covid Snitch LIne. These protesters act like they're the Polish underground resistance or something. SILLY LITTLE, AMERICA-HATING BOLSHEVIKS!!! 

I also saw the ''No Kings'' protests A FEW WEEKS AGO, and I was wondering what do these protestors have against the King of Rock n' Roll Elvis Presley, Billy Jean King, and MARTIN LUTHER KING????? WHAT????

These crazy protestors REALLY hate PRESIDENT TRUMP. Did THEY ALL GET FIRED on ''The Apprentice'' or something? They freely and loudly call him NAZI AND HITLER. They carry signs and yell, yet HE SENDS nobody to concentration camp or prison work camp. Trump must be the WORST DICTATOR EVER!!!

Today the government school teachers marched. If you can read, thank a teacher or your parents. If you CAN'T read, thank a teacher's union! These teachers took their students out of class and brought THEIR FUTURE COMMUNIST AGITATORS to the march.

 The government schools have stopped teaching ''reading and writing'', and replaced it with ''revolutions and rioting!'' These green-haired, commie teachers do such an amazing job at these LEARING CENTERS!!! Heh, heh,  heh......What a SYSTEM!!!!

It's absolutely wild that billionaire Communist Democrat sugar daddies like George Soros finances these hate-filled, anti-American protests to destroy the country that allows them to protest freely in the FIRST PLACE!!! 

WHAT A COUNTRY!!!!!!Heh, heh, heh..............

HAPPY MAY DAY 2026

 ''We will replace the frigidity of rugged individualism with the warmth of collectivism''---New York Mayor Zohran Mamdani

Minnesota Governor Walz's Final State Of The State Speech

 

Last night, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz delivered his final State of the State Address:

For my Somali supporters, leftist lunatics and violent UNDOCUMENTED MIGRANTS,  THE STATE OF THE STATE IS STRONG!!!! For the rest of you, NOT SO MUCH!!!

Under my RULE, THE STATE OF MINNESOTA HAS EXPERIENCED A TAKE-OVER BY COMMUNISTS, CORRUPTOCRATS, CRIMINALS, CROOKS, CREEPS, AND CROSS-DRESSERS!!!! We have allowed violent ''UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS' and carjackers to run rampant!!!! The Democrat Trifecta has made the North Star State UNRECOGNIZABLE!!!!!

We passed the most extrme Abortion law IN THE WORLD, and made child mutilation EVERY CHILD'S RIGHT!!!!

I shut the state down for Covid and started my COVID SNITCH LINE. i SURRENDERED THE STREETS  OF MINNEAPOLIS TO THE RIOTERS, AND LET THEM BURN DOWN THE CITY!!

We Democrats REWARDED our Somali friends by letting them ROB THE TAXPAYERS, STARTING WITH THE FEEDING OUR FRAUD / BLEEDING OUR TAXPAYERS LEGISLATION!!!! Then, we did away with the ''racist'' old Minnesota State Flag and INTRODUCED A NEW STATE FLAG THAT LOOKS A LOT LIKE THE FLAG OF SOMALILAND.

Because of me and the 80,000+ Somali  migrants imported into the city of Minneapolis, OUR STATE UNDER MY WATCH HAS BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO A CRIME-RIDDEN, CORRUPT SATELITE OF SOMALIA!!!! HEAR, HEAR!!!!!!

Minnesota is and always will be a SANCTUARY STATE!!!! The NAZI in The White House sent HIS GESTAPO to arrest and deport OUR NEIGHBORS FROM Central and South America, but I TELL YOU THIS....

WE ARE THE DEMOCRATS, AND WE DON'T HAVE TO OBEY YOUR SILLY, LITTLE FEDERAL LAWS!!!!!

I WAS SO PROUD OF OUR ''NO KINGS'' RALLIES, WHERE TENS OF THOUSANDS OF OUR AFFLUENT-WHITE-FEMALE-LEFTIST NEIGHBORS PROTESTED AGAINST ''KINGS'', AND MANY OF THE SAME PEOPLE RECENTLY WELCOMED ENGLAND'S KING CHARLES FOR HIS AMERICAN VISIT!!! HIP, HIP, HOORAY!!!!! SOME KINGS ARE ACCEPTABLE!!!!

We rioted to distract everyone from my rampant corruption and incompetence, and it looks like I will make it to the end of my second term. In fact, my GREATEST accomplishment is that I've somehow avoided prison!!!!

As you all know, I've decided to not seek a third term. The NAZI in The White House is investigating ME. Other than 8 long , painful years of corruption, THEY'VE GOT NOTHING ON ME!!!! THEY JUST HAVE THEIR STUPID RED HATS!!!!

Before I was elected in 2018, Minnesota led the nation in education, health care, and economic developement. NOW, WE LEAD THE NATION IN CORRUPTION AND FUNDING TERRORISM.

Our schools USED TO excel in ''reading and writing'', and now we lead in ''REVOLUTION AND RIOTING''.

As I leave office, I promise to pretend to fight fraud, and keep on bad-mouthing and threatening bodily harm to my opponents BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MY UNHINGED, AMERICA-HATING VOTER BASE DEMANDS!!!

THANK YOU.....AND TO ALL YOU REPUBLICAN NAZIs, SCREW YOU!!!!!!

WE ASKED GARTH ALGAR WHAT HE THINKS OF JIMMY KIMMEL'S JOKE

Two days before lunatic Cole Tomas Allen attempted to assassinate members of The Trump Administration at The White House Correspondent's Dinner, late-night host Jimmy Kimmel made a hateful joke suggesting that First Lady Melania Trump ''had the glow like an expectant widow.''

We asked an everyday American, Garth Algar, what he thought of the joke, and this is what he said:

''If Jimmy Kimmel Live! were an ice cream flavor, it would be PRALINES......AND DOUCHE.....

...........WITHOUT THE PRALINES......."

SONG PARODY ALERT!!! DEMOCRAT ANTHEM (ALANIS MORISSETTE'S ''WE GOT OUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKET)

We hate kings but we love dictators

We despise the rich but we love our graft

We worship Obama, he saved healthcare, yeah!

We hate guns but love murder

We hate free speech and love indoctrination

When we lose we go crazy!

What it all boils down to, is Trump drives us out of our mind, mind, minds

We got our hands in your pocket, to fund our NGO's

We are drunk when we're in power

We voted for Mamdani because we want free stuff

It isn't greed when we take your money

We care, unlike those G.O.P. NAZIs

We're guilty of what we accuse you of doing

and we NEVER have to say ''We're sorry''

What it boils down to, is that we can always LIE, LIE, LIE

We got our hands in your pocket, we give your stuff to our illegal alien voters

(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK)

What it all comes down to

The government should run your life

We got our hands in your pocket, and your paycheck belongs to us

We want free stuff and we're focused

Our green agenda will save the world

We'll stop those oil companies

America's enemies are laughing

We are loyal, but we are traitors too

Liberalism is a mental disorder

And what it all boils down to

We're looney hyp....o.....crites

We got our hands in your pocket

and we're playing you like a stradivarias

And what it all comes down to, my friends, yeah

If you complain we will call you names

We got our hands in your pocket

You will go to jail if you don't pay your taxes

THE CHLOE REPORT: CALIFORNIA DEMOCRATS OVERLY EXCITED ABOUT STEYER'S CANDIDACY

Nothing excites Democrats and their favorite news-anchors like an probable election of a politician promising abortion rights and more taxes. The talking heads can barely contain their excitement when they're breathlessly honking their horn for a charismatic leftist candidate.

In-commie-deep-blue, one-party California, the America-hating leftist voters are looking at some new leftist candidates to confiscate even MORE from the taxpayers. Here to report on this lunacy is our cub reporter, Side-eye Chloe:

California Democrats are without their leading gubernatorial candidate now that compromised, serial rapist Eric Swalwell was forced out of the race. Another candidate, unhinged pottymouth Katie Porter is featured on YouTube in a series of ridiculously unflattering campaign vids of her cursing out her campaign staffers.

The Democrats are looking for the next governor who must carry a literal torch destroying the state from the complete disaster of Gavin Newsom. Greasy Gavin has destroyed the state, and is deciding if he will run for President in 2028 or announce himself The Anti-Christ. 

There's a new candidate, billionaire hedge fund manager, Tom Steyer. Steyer is a climate change alarmist who made a fortune from dirty fossil fuels AND climate change alarmism. I haven't seen anyone this excited since my Mom told me and my sister we were going to Disneyland.

 Steyer wants to abolish I.C.E. while he invested heavily in jails USED BY I.C.E.

He ALSO opposes private schools while putting his own kids iin PRIVATE SCHOOLS, saying that he won't SACRIFICE his kids by putting them in public school..

All this hypocracy must be very exciting to his supporters. The rest of us aren't feeling it.

Under Democrat one-party rule, California leads the entire country in POVERTY, CORRUPTION, HOMELESSNESS, and the state government has done NOTHING for the victims of the inferno that destroyed The Pacific Palisades area of Los Angeles. 

The voters of California will vote in what is called a ''jungle primary'', which means that every candidates' votes will be ''counted'', and the two leading candidates will run in the General Election in November. Right now, two REPUBLICANS are leading in the polls, Steve Hilton and Chad Bianco.

It's possible that California will elect it's first Republican Governor since The ''Governator'' Arnold Schwarzzeneger won a ''Total Recall'' ELECTION in 2003, but that doesn't excite the mainstream news media much. In fact, some of them seem to be in a panic.

Maybe if Dwayne ''The Rock'' Johnson entered the race, that would excite the local news media.

This is Chloe, reporting from The Left Coast. Back to you, RedSquirrel.

ECONOMIC ILLITERATE MAMDANI PROUDLY ANNOUNCES LINES TO BUY TOILET PAPER COMING IN 2029

 

OUR NEW TOP TEN LIST: THE TOP TEN CEASE-FIRE DEMANDS MADE BY THE IRON SHEIK

American and Iranian officials have announced a cease fire, and have traded lists of demands for ending military hostilies. White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt stated that the list of Iranian demands were NOT serious and ''was thrown into the garbage''.

A NEW SPECIAL NEGOTIATOR HAS ENTERED THE FRAY, FORMER WORLD WRESTLING CHAMPION, THE IRON SHIEK. HE HAS INTRODUCED A NEW LIST OF TEN DEMANDS.

From our home office in Bovey, Minnesota is our NEW TOP TEN LIST, THE TOP TEN DEMANDS MADE BY IRAN'S NEW NEGOTIATOR, THE IRON SHEIK: 

10. I DEMAND THE Americans and Israelis stop bombing our military infrastructure, or Iron Shiek will SLAP THE COBRA CLUTCH ON JAROD KUSHNER AND MAKE him HUMBLE!!!

  9. I demand a rematch with current WWWF champion, Hulk Hogan!!!

  8. I DEMAND AMERICAN'S SUBMISSION, JUST LIKE THAT LOSER BOB BACKLUND!!!!

  7. I demand your loud-mouthed  Secretary of War Peter Hegseth stop threatening us, OR I'll stick my pointy boot up HIS BACKSIDE!!!!

  6. I demand The Americans STOP KILLING OUR SUPREME LEADERS. (I'll throw our gay Ayatollah Jr. off the building myself).............

  5. We demand you stay away from the Straights of Hormuz. (We'll stay away from the Gays of Hormuz!!!)

  4. We demand that America hands over that non-humble American singer Mac Davis, the idiot who sang ''It's Hard To Be Humble''. I'll put him in my COBRA CLUTCH AND HE'LL BE SINGING A DIFFERENT TUNE!!!!!!

  3. We demand that you put your immodest Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders in burqas!!!!

  2. We demand that you impeach and remove that trouble-maker Trump from office, and put that senile idiot Biden back in YOUR WHITE HOUSE!!!!

  1. I demand that you no longer celebrate ''Pride Month'', or I'll slap on my COBRA CLUTCH and turn your PRIDE MONTH into ''HUMBLE MONTH!'' PHOOEY!!!!!!!!!!!

HEADLINE: PREDATORY, ETHICALLY-CHALLENGED (POSSIBLY TREASONOUS) SCUMBAG RESIGNS FROM CONGRESS

 

                        

                                                 California Democrat Eric Swalwell

Scrolls And Wall Paintings From The Twin Cities Of Sodom And Gommorrah Discovered

Archeologists have discovered scrolls and wall paintings near the Dead Sea ruins of Sodom and Gommorrah 

According to these findings, Sodom City Hall had raised taxes to pay for new bath houses just before the city was destroyed, and allowed criminals from East Africa to defraud the taxpayers. The city opened the first ''learing'' centers, and the corrupt city government paid for protests against King Donatello of Jordan. They did this to distract the local citizens and hide their rampant corruption.

Many ancient scrolls from Sodom City Hall suggest the city was ran by homosexuals, foreigners and corruptocrats. Even though the government was ran entirely by sodomites and foreigners, those in power were ALWAYS complaining about ''the lack of LGBTQ rights''.

The Sodom City Council was dominated by foreigners and cross-dressers just before the city was destroyed by fire and brimstone raining down from the sky.

One wall painting the archeologists found depicted a protestor trying to run over an immigration officer, and killed when he threw a spear in defense.  Following this occurence, there were months of rioting, as Prince Jakkob blamed the immigration officers for the riots.

He pandered relentlessly to his corrupt foreign supporters.

In Gommorrah, Prince Melvyn threw a corruption orgy for his favorite city bureaucrats, raiding and emptying the city coffers. The local Affluent White female Lesbians and STD-infected Gommoreans were too busy partaking in their sex and spending orgies to notice or care.

The governments in Sodom and Gommorrah misappropriated the taxpayers money, allowing their East African supporters to defraud the cities. The needy poor were ignored and the foreigners became filthy rich just before the cities were destroyed. Both cities raised a wealth tax on the small, productive heterosexual population.

Our archeologists also discovered a man named Lot voting with his feet. He escaped just as the fire and sulfer began to rain down on the wicked cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul. I mean...... Sodom and Gommorrah.

THIS JUST IN: $956 IS MORE THAN $75 (AND DEMOCRATS ARE LIARS)

The Republicans in The Minnesota State Legislature are attempting to reduce the state's vehicle tab fee, but EVERY Democrat voted against the measure.

The Democrats want to make tab fees EVEN MORE EXPENSIVE. DFL(Democrat Fraudster-Liar) House member Brad Tabke (pictured) took to the floor and blatantly made the false claim that Minnesota drivers pay a lower fee than our upper-midwestern neighbors.

Minnesota drivers pay $956, while North Dakota drivers pay $93 and South Dakota drivers pay only $75. Our neighbor to the East Wisconsin pays $85.

The cocky Democrats lie so easily because no one in the local media ever calls them on it.

Robin Leach And The Lifestyles Of The Rich DFL Corruptocrats And Somali Fraudsters

CHAMPAIGNE FRAUDSTER WISHES AND CAVIAR DFL GRIFTER DREAMS!!!!! 

WELCOME TO THE LIFESTYLES OF THE FRAUDULENT AND CRIMINAL FILTHY RICH!!!

This is your host ROBIN LEACH, and this week we're in The Land of 10,000 Frauds!!! 

Minnesota, ran by DFL Communists, Corruptocrats, Criminals, Crooks, Creeps, and Cross-Dressers!!!

 Minnesotaa, the state where judges are bought off and the CORRUPT LEFTIST County Attorney Mary Moriarty will ACT AS YOUR DEFENSE ATTORNEY AND LET YOU OFF WITH A SLAP ON THE WRIST........ if you're a  SOMALI PIRATE ROBBING THE TAXPAYERS!!!

This is the land where a COMMUNIST MOSLEM CAN BE ELECTED TO CONGRESS, BECAUSE THE CORRUPTOCRATS IN POWER IMPORTED 80,000 SOMALIS WITH HEADS SHAPED LIKE LIGHTBULBS INTO MINNESOTA'S FIFTH CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT!!!!

MEET ultra-rich SOMALI CORRUPTOCRAT iLHAN OMAR, OWNER OF AN IMAGINARY WINERY IN ''NOBODY KNOWS WHERE IT IS''. She represents the hopelessly corrupt SOMALI Democrat stronghold of Minnesota's fifth congressional district. Here you can make A FORTUNE opening a ''Learing Center'' or a TAXPAYER-funded imaginary business with NO CUSTOMERS AND MAKE AN AMAZING FORTUNE!!!!

Most of the wealth in this city has been stolen and sent to MOGADISHU, SOMALIA. At the Minneapolis-St. Paul International airport, A MIND-BLOWING AMOUNT of tax dollers are whisked away to Africa. With all this stolen money, these FILTHY RICH FRAUDSTERS buy MULTIPLE MANSIONS, YACHTS AND LUXURY CARS!!! 

FEEDING OUR FUTURE????? PSHAW!!!! IN MINNESOTA, WE FEED OUR FRAUDS, GRIFTS, AND CORRUPT MONEY-LAUNDERING SCAMS!!!! Our politicians like Governor Tampon Timmy, his stooge LIEutenant Goveror Peggy Flanagan, and State Attorney General Keith Ellison REWARD their corrupt Somali supporters HANDSOMELY with the taxpayer's money.

Well, that's it from THE CORRUPT SOMALI SATELLITE STATE OF MINNESOTA. NEXT WEEK, WE BEGIN A 19-PART SPECIAL SERIES FROM THE CORRUPT HELLHOLE THAT IS GAVIN NEWSOM'S CALIFORNIA!!! UNTIL THEN....CIAO FOR NOW!!!

Offended Muslim Scholar Addresses The Islamophobic Easter Holiday

It's Easter Sunday, and Christians from around the world celebrate the resurrection of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Many attend Easter church services, then enjoy a nice ham dinner. Many Americans dye eggs in bright, festive colors and enjoy candies.

Some people do not celebrate Easter. Here to address this is The Perpetually Offended Islamic scholar Muhammad Fatah Loonatika:

You infidels celebrate your ISLAMOPHOBIC savior resurrection-fertility festival of EASTER-ISHTAR while we do holy things like plan your deaths and the destruction of Western Civilization.

Your Christian fertility festival begins with church services, with your women wearing brightly colored dresses that doesn't EVEN cover them completely. There's no hijab or burqa, and it gravely displeases Allah. Soon, we Muslims will enter EVERY home and we will put an end to this OUTRAGE!!!

After your church wervices, you anger Allah further with a HAM DINNER!!!! This makes many of us CRY!!!! You commit this grave sin of EATING PIG while we Muslims DO holy THINGS, such as r@ping your 13-year-old daughters and bombing your cities. ALLAHU AKBAR!!!! We are holy while you are haram!!!

Then, you in The West turn on your BIG SATAN TV and watch LITTLE SATAN JEWISH PROPAGANDA, WATCHING ''THE TEN COMMANDMENTS''!!! It depicts The Pharoah Rameses AS A BAD MAN, but he was A GOOD, GOOD MAN AND GREAT ROLE MODEL, ENSLAVING THE JEWS!!!

You immoral ISLAMOPHOBES dye Easter eggs in bright, festive colors when you should cover the eggs in a burqa!! You enjoy PEEPS, jelly beans, and Tadbury Creme Eggs when you should be forced to pay our Jizya tax!!!

Soon, us Muslims will be running THE WORLD, and there will be NO MORE EASTER. Your TREASONOUS Democrat politicians are handing control of your countries to us, AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE HAM DINNERS OR PRETTY EASTER DRESSES FOR YOU INFIDELS!!!! ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!

THIS JUST IN: TRUMP DECLARES HIMSELF KING

 

APRIL FOOLS : )

March Madness Finale: ''No King's'' Communist Rallies

 

For many Americans, the term ''March Madness'' refers to the big college Basketball tournament. For  conservatives, ''March Madness'' refers to the communist-democrat woke lunacy occurring in March. 

The finale of this woke silliness, the well-funded ''No-Kings'' rallies across the country, gave geriatric hippies and Affluent White Female Leftistss an opportunity to make fools of themselves and get their faces on the news.

In St. Paul, Minnesota, the governor who set up a Covid Snitch Line and robbed the taxpayers BLIND yelled about that ''fascist/king'' President Trump. 

If you went into the crowd and asked leftist attendees ''How is Donald Trump ACTING LIKE A KING''? they could not give you a single example. These protestors simply HATE him because he won the 2024 presidential election and they are acting out because that''s what democrat-communists do.

A couple weeks ago, Democrats in Minnesota proposed a law giving WILD RICE a right to life. Two years ago, these Minnesota Democrats passed the MOST CRUEL ABORTION LAW IN THE WORLD. NOT JUST AMERICA. THE WORLD. MORE EXTREME THAN COMMUNIST CHINA. MORE EXTREME THAN NORTH KOREA. The same lunatics who passed Minnesota's cruel abortion law are now suggesting that WILD RICE has a  right to life.

We're not sure what would happen if you cooked or ate wild rice. Perhaps The Dems consider it a hate crime.

Meanwhile, The Republicans in DC are trying to get TSA workers back on the job, The communist-dems refuse to pay them. The Republicans want to pay federal law enforcement, but the dems would rather protect their violent illegal alien voter base.

March Madness is ending because March 2026 is ending.  Looney-tune Communist-Democrat madness will continue in April and beyond. Stay tuned.

Andy Rooney: What's The Deal With AWFLs?

We here at RSR welcome the return of Andy Rooney, and he has some things to say regarding  THE awful WORLD OF AWFLS (Affluent White Female Liberals / Leftists):

They're the perpetually dissatisfied. middle-aged women, usually with short hair. They are always unhappy, with that indignant look on their face, demanding ''My I speak to your MANAGER?'' 

I'M GLAD THAT MY managing EDITOR, REDSQUIRREL IS JUST A COOL RODENT.  HE DOESN'T REALLY speak much. He JUST SNICKERS AT THE WORLD OF CRAZIES.

Many of these women are college professors.. They don't fix your plumbing or REPAIR your car. They make TONS of money (hence the ''Affluent'' IN AWFL) because the crooks in Washington D.C. PAYS THEM LOTS OF MONEY to INDOCTRINATE YOUR COMMUNIST BRAT. 

I began to notice these GAWDAWFUL AWFLS when they were ALL OVER TWITTER AND TIKTOK CELEBRATING THE BRUTAL ASSASSINATION OF CONSERVATIVE SPEAKER CHARLIE KIRK. THEY ARE INCREDIBLY HATEFUL, HORRIBLE, MISERABALE, AWFL LEFTISTS.

Many AWFLs are in the government. In about 25 years most of these leftist women with short hair will become the next generation of leftie hens like THEIR HEROINES Elizabeth Warrens, Hillary Clintons, and Nancy Pelosi. IT MAKES ME SHUDDER!!!

By the way, Have you ever noticed thow many of these Leftist Democrats don't even have two nickles to rub together, but after getting elected to Congrab they're SUDDENLY ZILLIONAIRES? Also, our national debt is almost identical to the amount of money STOLEN, GRIFTED, AND LAUNDERED by The Democrats in Congress? These Corruptocrat frauds are simply AWFL!

Renee Good was an lesbian AWFL killed by an I.C.E. Agent in Minneapolis when she tried to run him OVER, and was shot to death.The lunatics protesting Immigration and Customs Enforcement and the deportation of violent criminal illegal aliens blame the agent BECAUSE President Trump won the 2024 Election and the leftists are acting up like spoiled toddlers in a grocery store, demanding that MOMMY BUYS them candy!

When they're in power, they are mean, lunatic tyrants, and when they lose they act up.

Former President Barack Obama deported even more illegal aliens than President TRUMP, but none of these AWFLs cared a bit about THAT. They are protesting because they are OFFENDED THAT DONALD TRUMP EXISTS, and they have acute TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) as well as  ''toxic empathy'' for the violent illegals. These nutcases need a psychiatrst!

There is a subset of this group of women sometimes referred to as ''Karens''. I think that label is unfair. I have a young relative  named Karen and she's an exceedingly nice, sweet person. Her friends call her ''Kare-Bear''.  I think It just isn't fair.

So, what do we do about these obnoxious, abusive AFFLUENT WHITE FEMALE LEFTISTS? I heard about one store owner banning an abusive ''Karen'' from his store when she was abusive towards one of his store employees.

It's a start.

Also, know that for each abusive, obnoxious AWFL, there are probably TEN people who try to be a good person. 

SONG PARODY: ELLA LANGLEY SINGS ''CHOOSIN' TEXAS, FLORIDA, AND TENNESSEE (VOTING WITH OUR FEET)''

The hottest song in America RIGHT NOW is country songtress Ella Langley's smash hit ''Choosin' Texas''. It's the current Number One Pop song on Billboard's Hot 100.

It's the song about a girl from Tennessee losing the man she loves to a woman from Texas, yet the title ''Choosin'  Texas'' sounds like it could be about Americans voting with their feet. I can see a music video of Americans renting a U-HAUL and LEAVING Gavin Newsom's California or some other poorly run, corrupt blue state and heading to a Red State with no state tax and lots of sunshine.

Here to sing a new version of this song is Ella Langley and her Red State Chorus:

(Verse 1) 

Just when we thought The Democrats had the majority

Americans renting U-HAUL vans to Florida and Tennessee 

They've had enough of the taxes and the crime

Mamdani the Commie sucks and we think that it's time

(Chorus) 

They're on their way to Texas we can tell by the way

They're voting with their feet

This crappy state government in California

Illegal aliens and crime in the street

It doesn't take FOXNEWS to see

why everyone wants to leave

The Democrats brought it all on themselves

We're Choosin' Texas, This blue state can go to Hell

(Verse 2) 

Now, Gavin Newsom has really wrecked The Golden State

We're screwed and over-taxed, and we cannot wait

We'll be in Amarillo by morning

The Democrats should take it as a warning

(Chorus)

We're moving to Texas we're on our way

and the democrats are doomed

We're voting with our feet

 there's a population and an economic boom

It doesn't take FOXNEWS to see

why people will vote with their feet

The blue states brought it on themselves

We're leaving the crime and looted store shelves

(Bridge)

I can see a really long line of  U-HAUL VANS drivin' by

as the blue states  keeps taxing you even after you die

We're moving down South for the sun and the jobs

Mamdani just gave your paycheck to the illegal alien mob

(Chorus)

They're moving to Florida, because

 their governor is great!

We're moving to one of those nice, warm

LOW-TAX, CONSERVATIVE STATES

I don't need TO WATCH FOXNEWS to see

People moving down to Tennessee

The GOP will be gaining 10 or 12 (congressional seats)

The blue states brought it upon themselvces

Goodbye to the crime and looted store shelves

The blue states brought it upon themselves

C'MON EVERYBODT!!!!

Everybody's moving to Texas, Florida and Tennessee

Five-Head Clinton Advisor Paul Begala Complains About Surf-N-Turf

Last week, former Clinton Advisor and current CNN poitical pundit Paul Begala expressed his indignation at Secretary of War Peter Hegseth serving his troops ''expensive'' Surf N' Turf for dinner. Here to vent his anger is old ''Five-Head'' Himself:

The Trump Administration is cutting NGO's and our generous giveaways to undocumented immigrants, yet his Secretary of WAR Pete Hegseth is wasting million$$$$ on his troops, feeding them expensive steaks and lobster for dinner!!! Oh, the INHUMANITY!!!!

The grunts should be happy with gruel RATIONS and M.R.E.'s (Meals Ready To Eat), but Secretary Hegseth has wasted almost $30million on steak and lobster!!! Meanwhile, DOGE HAS FIRED THOUSANDS OF GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES, INCLUDING I.R.S. EMPLOYEES!!! 

Us Democrats needs to reign in this insane spending, and get back to the important government work  of DEFRAUDING THE TAXPAYERS AND SPENDING THAT MONEY ON OUR CORRUPT GRIFTER-SUPPORTER CLASS AND UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS!!! The Trump Administration have kicked thousands of undocumented immigrants out of  luxury hotels in Democrat-tun cities, and that cannot stand!.

Hegseth's grunts recieve lobster and steak, while the Somalis in Minneapolis are investigated for defrauding the taxpayers!  If you ask me, the Somalis deserve THE TAXPAYER'S MONEY because they SUPPORT THE DEMOCRATS DOING THE IMPORTANT WORK OF OPPOSING TRUMP'S NAZI-REPUBLICANS!!!!

Now, the total national debt is around $38trillion!!!! All this expensive food will make the deficit EXPLODE!!!! Because Trump wastes money on feeding the troops, there is NO MONEY FOR COLLEGE ENDOWMENTS FOR AMERICA-HATING UNIVERSITIES!!! While Hegseth's grunts feast on Surf n' Turf, FEEDING OUR FUTURE REMAINS UNDER-FUNDED and poor CHILDREN are STARVING! 

How are we ever going to feed the poor while Hegseth keeps feeding the troops surf n' turf? We NEED TO TAKE BACK CONGRESS OR THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION WILL ABOLISH E.B.T. CARDS AND THE COUNTRY WILL FACE A FAMINE OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS!!!!

MY HUGE FIVE-HEAD HAS A HEADACHE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!!!!

That's it for now. I am ''Five-head The Great''---Paul Begala. Back to you, RedSquirrel.

Our New Top Ten List: What Should The Letters ''D.F.L.'' Stand For?

The Democrat party in the State of Minnesota is referred to as The D.F.L. (Democrat Farmer-Labor) party, although we don't know any farmers or laborers WHO CAN STAND THESE COMMUNIST KLEPTOCRATS RUNNING THE STATE.

If you work for a living, The Democrats in Minnesota will try to steal everything you have and generously give it to their illegal alien, corruptocrat, educrat unionista voter base.

Three years sgo, The Democrat Trifecta passed THE MOST EXCESSIVE, EXTREME ABORTION LAW IN THE WORLD. 

NOT JUST THE COUNTRY.

THE WORLD. EVEN MORE EXTREME THAN CHINA AND NORTH KOREA.

They have defrauded the taxpayers, wasted an $18billion surplus, and showered their corrupt Somali supporters with the taxpayer's money.

This week, they are arguing that WILD RICE has an inherent right to life.  Innocent, unborn babies DON'T HAVE ANY RIGHTS, BUT WILD RICE SHOULD. WHAT'S NEXT? Will the dems try to make the eating of wild rice a hate crime?

So, we here at RSR think that calling this party of maladjusted, corrupt weirdos the FARMER-LABOR party should get a deserved change. From our home office in Bovey, Minnesota COMES THIS WEEK'S TOP TEN LIST. WE RE-THINK JUST WHAT THE MINNESOTA DEMOCRAT PARTY SHOULD CALL ITSELF FROM NOW ON.

What should the letters ''D.F.L.'' STAND FOR? Here we go:

10. DEMOCRAT FELON-LIAR

  9. DEVIANTS-FRAUDSTERS-LUNATICS

  8. DILDOS-FELONS-LOONEYBIRDS

  7. DEMONIC- FUCKING-LEFTISTS

  6. DEMOCRAT FRAUDSTER-LUNATICS

  5. DOUCHETASTIC FUCKING-LEFTARDS

  4. DEMOCRAT FELONS-LUNATICS

  3. DAMNABLE FELONIOUS-LEFTISTS

  2. DEMOCRAT FREAKS-LUNATICS

  1. DEMOCRAT FRAUDSTER-LIAR

A Malcolm Spottswoode Commentary: ''' War In Iran.......F -- YEAH!!!''

 

On February 28, American and Israeli military forces began OPERATION EPIC FURY, bombing Iranian government buildings and disabling their military infrastructure. While many happy Iranians living in America AND IRAN danced in the streets in jubilation, angry critics of The Trump Administration suggest The President be impeached.

Our military correspondent AND Director of Team America: World Police, Malcolm Spottswoode, shares his thoughts on this military operation:

To all pro-American Patriots and our brave warriors, I salute you and invite you to Team America Headquarters for Briefings and Cocktails. To all you who oppose this war I say you're all America-hating, butt-f........ traitors!!!!!

I am exceedingly proud of our Team America--World Police for joining in the fight (in a supporting role). Team America----''F'' YEAH!

Secretary of Kick-Ass Pete Hegseth said that we will pound the Iranian military without mercy until they submit. I couldn't have said it better!!!! Our warriors bombed The Iraniian Air Force into the dust and their Navy lays with the dead fishes!! We are wiping those towelheads out, while Some worthless Democrat crapweasels in Congress want to IMPEACH PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR DOING WHAT SHOULD'VE BEEN DONE 45 YEARS AGO. 

I'm just surprised that The Film Actor's Guild hasn't tried to join the war on the side of those Iranian Shiite-Heads. Right now, we have actors Mel Gibson and Sylvester Stallone undercover in Tehran, Iran's capitol doing incredible work.

Tehran is approximately 6,300 to 6,337 miles east of Washington D.C.

The evil mohammadon Mullahs should have been wiped off the face of the Earth 45 years ago! Our people bombed the Hell out of The Iranian Capitol Building on BacaLacaDaca Street, and it was there that The Ayatollah Supreme douchebag Ali Khameini was sent to his eternal reward. 

The cross-dressing generals of the Biden Administration would NEVER have gotten this important job done!! They were too busy giving themselves medals for applying make-up and getting runs in their panty hose!

Our Secretary of DO-THIS-OR-ELSE, Marco Rubio told the Iranian Shiite-Terrorist Mullahs to stop their nuclear blackmail and join the international community or they will be sent to eternal damnation.

The only misstep in this important operation thus far was when I mistakenly sent Our World Police to Paris and our people accidently leveled The Eiffle Tower, The French were angry, but did you see all the happy Persian Babes taking off their burkas and dancing?  Soon, we will be seeing Kid Rock and Ted Nugent concerts in downtown Tehran!

To the people in The Middle East I say America wants to be your FRIEND, BUT DON'T THREATEN AMERICA WITH WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. TO ALL YOU TERRORISTS CREEPS WE AMERICANS SAY THIS---SUCK OUR B....S!!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA!! ''F'' YEAH!!!!

Malcolm F. Spottswoode, Director of Team America--World Police

''OH, AND ANOTHER THING......'':Professor Walter Turgeson Comments On The War In Iran

Our resident expert on Everything, Professor Walter Turgeson,would also like to comment on the War Aganst The Iranian Mullahcracy:

Oh, and ANOTHER THING......

Thank GOD for President Trump and The Secretary of Def----I mean, WAR, Pete Hegseth for bombing the THE SIIIITE OUT OF 7TH CENTURY TERRORIST MOHAMMADONS, SENDING Ayatollah Ali Khameini AND HIS TOWELHEAD mullah friends to THEIR 72 virgins!! 

For 47 years OUR SO-CALLED LEADERS ACTED LIKE PUSSY WIMPS, ALLOWING THE SPONSORS OF WORLDWIDE TERRORISM TO PUSH US AROUND!!!  

AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (The Professor rips the top of a classroom desk and throws it across the room.)

A week before the bombing started, The Ayatollah insulted President Trump on Twitter/X. I like Trump's answer. GOOOOOOD ANSWER!!!

Now, we and our Israeli friends are POUNDING THE HELL out of the mohammadon Islamic tyranny's MILITARY INFRASTRUCTURE and we won't stop until these towelheads SURRENDER!!!

HEY TOWELHEADS, SAY UNCLE SAM!!!!!SAY IT.......SAAAAY IT!!!!

There are commie douchebags here in America actually protesting and carrying signs FOR THE AYATOLLAH!!!! THESE COMMIE LUNATICS SHOULD BE DEPORTED,!!!! WE SHOULD TRADE THESE AMERICA-HATING BRATS FOR THE HAPPY PERSIAN HOTTIES DANCING HAPPILY AND TAKING OFF THEIR GARBAGE BAG BURKAS!!!

Well, that's my time. I am Professor Walter Turgeson, and class is in session. Good Night.

Our Expert, Professor Walter Turgeson, Comments On The Anti-I.C.E. ''Protests''

 

Our resident expert on Everything, History Professor Walter Turgeson, returns from  his sabbatical to comment on the anti-I.C.E. ''protests'':

Thanks Red.

I am seeing on Twitter and the evening news a lot of people protesting federal agents of Immigration and Customs Enforcement. If you ask the protestors, they will say that they are protesting the ''kidnapping'' of our ''neighbors''.

Are they right? That's the POPULAR viewpoint for some, but I'VE HAD NEIGHBORS HARMED BY THESE VIOLENT THIRD-WORLD ILLEGAL ALIEN ASSHOLES. WHAT ABOUT THE YOUNG GIRLS HURT AND EVEN K...... BY THESE PSYCHOTIC ANIMALS????!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

EVIL CORRUPTOCRATS LIKE THAT LEFTIST KNUCKLEHEAD TIMMY WALZ WANT TO DISTRACT US ALL AWAY FROM THEIR RAMPANT CRIMINALITY  BY SENDING THESE UNHINGED, DEMENTED AWFLS, AND EVEN GOVERNMENT SCREWLS ARE TAKING THE KIDS OUT OF CLASS TO PROTEST OUR HARD-WORKING FEDERAL LAW AGENTS!!!!

AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

THE GOVERNMENT SCHOOLS HAVE REPLACED READING AND WRITING WITH COMMIE-REVOLUTION AND RIOTING. NO WONDER OUR KIDS ARE SCREWED UP!!!!!!!!

PRESIDENT TRUMP WANTS THE GOVERNMENT TO PROTECT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. WHILE THE DAMN COMMUNIST DEMOCRATS WON'T EVEN STAND UP FOR US!!!! THEY'RE TOO BUSY GRIFTING AND DEFRAUDING THE TAXPAYERS!!!! THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. IT'S JUST LIKE THE OLD ROLLING STONE SONG SAYS ''ALL THE COPS ARE CRIMINALS AND ALL THE CRIMINALS, SAINTS!!!!''

THE DEMOCRATS ARE AMERICA-HATING, CORRUPT, COMMIE JERK-OFFS!!!! SAY IT!!!! SAYYYYY IT!!!!

Here's Some Drawings By Joe The Cartoonist

 It's been about 15 years since I showed some of my drawings. Enjoy:

''This Means War''

I was probably vegging out and listening to Nirvana....

I thought it would be cool if ''The Thing''(1982) starred Alice Cooper.

''Cosmic Roadkill''

Eric Cartman Reports from Tuesday Night's State Of The Union Address

On Tuesday, President Trump delivered his State of the Union Address. Here to comment on the speech is our cub correspondent, Eric Cartman:

I am happy to report that the state of the union IS KICKING ASS!!!!

Our AWESOME President addressed Inflation (The homo COMMIE LEFTISTS call it ''AFFORDABILITY'' and deporting ILLEGAL ALIENS. ILLEGAL ALIENS PISS ME OFF!!! He ALSO awarded some people medals, and that was KEWL!!!

At the beginning of the SOTU, THE GEICO CAVEMAN (Texas Rep. Al Green) STARTED YELLING LIKE AN ASSHOLE, and he was taken out. I sure hope he gets psychiatric help for that TDS. It must be hard for a DEMOCRAT caveman to cope in the modern age

THAT ROTTEN, Somali CORRUPTOCRAT Ilhan Omar started FLIPPING OUT and flapping her yap. I wish that Trump would have announced her deportation In fact, I wish some I.C.E. agents would've showed up to arrest her and that ugly, obnoxious MOHAMMADON Rashida Tlaib. YOU WILL RESPECT I.C.E. AUTHORITAH, AND YOU WILL RESPECT THE PRESIDENT'S AUTHORITAH!!!!

Us Normal Americans like Trump because he's deporting illegal aliens,. Many of them are violent lunatics, rapists, murderers, human traffickers, and drug dealers. Of course, the CORRUPT communist-democrats send their protestors to harass and assault our I.C.E. agents. I'm sure that we have video, and hopefully The F.B.I. will be paying these haters a visit.

The demonrats need illegal aliens and third-world criminal voters because Normal Americans will not vote for these corrupt, looney douches.

Real Americans loved it when our GOLD-MEDAL HOCKEY TEAM SHOWED UP. I was wondering why the democrats wouldn't even stand for our hockey team. Did somebody break their legs?

In the corrupt, America-hating government schools, we see green-haired, commie looneybirds take their students OUT OF CLASS to protest I.C.E. They have replaced reading and writing with revolution and rioting. We will defund these failing, rotting government schools and reward the good schools. 

The idiotic, hateful democrats didn't even stand when President Trump asked if everyone would agree that the government's most important job is protecting The American People. Even an 8-year-old like me knows THAT! The dems must think that their most important job is defrauding the taxpayers. 

Corrupt assholes.

Trump also asked Congress to pass THE SAVE ACT. Democrats are against it because they have to CHEAT to win elections. CHEATERS!!!! Trump honored ANGEL FAMILIES  (families hurt by violent, third-world ILLEGAL ALIENS. The Republicans stood for the victims, while the DEMONIC Dems sat on their fat duffs. Damn, they PISS ME OFF!!!!

When Trump mentioned ''INSIDER TRADING'' Nutty Nancy Pelosi almost choked on her dentures.Well, that's it from The Trump State of the Union. Back to you, RED......

.

HEADLINE: U.S.A. HOCKEY TEAM WINS GOLD (JOYLESS, LEFTIST KILLJOYS HARDEST HIT)

 

We Polled 5,000 Public School Students, And Asked Them To Rank The Presidents

It was President's Day on Monday, and we decided to ask 5,000 High School students currently enrolled in government schools across the country to rank the presidents. Most of theese scholars were busy  outside protesting federal I.C.E. agents, but eventually they returned to class and took this poll.

Here's the results:

1. The greatest President EVER is Barack Hussein Obama because he was our First Black President and because our green-haired teacher(s) told us he was.

2. Alexander Hamilton (never a president) was ranked #2. Actually the original star in the Broadway musical Lin Manuel Miranda was ranked the second-greatest president.

3. George Washington was ranked at number 3. Father of the Country. First in war, first in peace, and LAST PLACE IN THE EASTERN CONFERENCE. He could not be allowed to be #1 because of White privilege.

4. Alexandria Bernie Sanders Ocasio-Cortez. (Never a president) Our green-haired teacher's favorite president. From what we heard, this non-president was A BIG supporter of Socialism and Drag Queen Story Hour.

5. Bill Clinton. Nearly ALL of the students polled could only name 5 or 6 presidents.

6. Frankin Delano Roosevelt. He saved the country from The Great Depression and THE DONALD TRUMP NAZIS.

7, Abraham Lincoln. The Civil War Guy with the Big Hat. He freed the slaves, and that was a big deal.

8. Ronald Reagan. He polled well with Republican students who were immediately expelled when their green-haired teachers found out some of the students had the nerve of ranking A REPUBLICAN in the top 10.

9.. Jimmy Carter. Nobody knows ANYTHING about him, but he has a nice smile.

10.. Joe Biden. He saved our climate from climate change.

11, Richard Nixon. He said he  ''wasn't a crook.''

12-45. We know NOTHING about these guys. Many of the students polled thought that Oprah Winfrey was once a president.

46-47. The WORST President in the poll was current President Donald Trump because he's a NAZI and throws undocumented immigrants out of the country. Nearly ALL of the government school students polled were protesting HIS I.C.E. GESTAPO. HE'S AN ORANGED-HAIRED MEANY AND THEY HATE HIM ON THE VIEW, CNN, AND MSNBC!!!!!

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, OUR GREEN-HAIRED TEACHERS HATE HIM!!!!!