Legendary Insult Comic Don Rickles Roasts ''Influencer'' Hasan Piker

 We here at The RedSquirrel Report are honored to welcome the legendary comedian and master of insult comedy, THE GREAT DON RICKLES. He wanted to deliver a message to leftist 'influencer'' Hasan Piker. 

Here he is, Mr. DON RICKLES!''

THE BAND PLAYS DON RICKLES' WALK-ON MUSIC, La Virgen De La Macarena AKA The Bullfighter Song 

Thanks, you RED HOCKEY PUCK.

First of all, I have a message to all the third-world, non English speaking voters and undocumented migrants out there.. '' KAMALAMALAMA LAKALABOOOOGIDDYBOOOOBITYBOOGITTY!!!!!''

To our Spanish-speaking friends, i say ''Si illegalo seniors and senoritas, ICE will be alongo soono. Just geto on the busso!''

Every time I see Hasan Piker I always WONDER (ten-second pause) HEY HOCKEY PUCK, ARE YOU WEARING A MASK? They call THIS DORK an ''influencer''. He influences me to THROW UP!!!

Hasan Piker said that America deserved to be attacked on 9/11.. i THINK PIKER SHOULD BE LOCKED IN A CAGE WITH  SEX-STARVED GORILLAS!!!

This hockey puck HASAN IS A BIG ADMIRER OF CHINESE COMMUNIST DICTATOR MAO ZEDONG WHO IS THE BIGGEST MASS MURDERER IN HUMAN HISTORY. SOMEBODY SEND THIS HATEFUL DOUCHE BACK TO THE 4TH GRADE!!!

THIS HATEFUL IDIOT SAYS HE WANTS THE STREETS TO RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF CAPITALISTS. HEY YA COMMUNIST LUNATIC, ANSWER THE DOOR. THE F.B.I. IS PAYING YOU A VISIT!!

AND FINALLY, GOD TOOK DOLLY PARTON AND LEFT THIS CREEP HASAN PIKER. (LOOKING UP) WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU HOCKEY PUCKS DOING UP THERE???!!!!

THAT'S IT. I'M OUT OF HERE!!! (Cue The Bullfighter music)

BRIAN STELTER: THE 1ST AMENDMENT GIVES CNN AND MS-NOW THE RIGHT TO SLANDER AND RELENTLESSLY ATTACK THE PRESIDENT

 

Last Friday, President Trump banned CNN, MS-NOW, and Politico from The White House over ''unfavorable coverage''. Recently, ABC NEWS had agreed to pay a $15 million defamation settlement to The Trump Presidential Library AND PARAMOUNT paid a $16 million settlement FROM misleading editing on a ''60 minutes'' story on The President.

Almost EVERYTHING the liberal mainstream news media says is false OR AT LEAST MISLEADING. Almost ALL of their reporting is negative, and they will not report ANYTHING POSITIVE regarding The President or his Administration.

They incessantly harp on the price of gas, but will not report on the record low poverty rate.

According to our D.C. source, The Administration believes that  CNN and MS-NOW don't really need access to The White House. They can just keep LYING and reporting ''FAKE NEWS'' without sending their correspondents to The White House Press Room.

Many on the left are accusing The President of VIOLATING the First Amendment rights of reporters to slander and relentlessly attack The President.

According to CNN's Chief Media Analyst Brian Stelter:

Thie First Amendment gives CNN and MS NOW and NBC and ABC NEWS and Politico and 60 Minutes the right TO SLANDER AND RELENTLESSLY ATTACK THIS NAZI DICTATOR. In the 1930's the horrors of NAZISM didn't START with the GAS CHAMBERS. Hitler started by banning the members of The Press FROM HIS DAILY PRESS CONFERENCES!

CNN, MS-NOW, and Politico, with the help of George Soros, USAID, and ACTBLUE  have announced a lawsuit against The Trump Administration. WE UNDERSTAND THE CASE WILL BE REFERRED TO AS:

''NATTERING NABOBS OF NEGATIVISM CNN, MS-NOW, AND POLITICO V. THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION''

We will keep you abreast on this important story.

Hunter S, Thompson's Fear And Loathing On The 2026 Campaign Trail

I wonder what the great gonzo journalist Humter S. Thompson would be saying right now if he had to cover the Democrats running for public office in 2026:

Dear Ralph,

THIS CAMPAIGN TRAIL is horrifying, with so many mohammadon swine and communists determined to put an end to our great republic, I really need to make sure I don't run out of my ''supplies''. I don't see myself making it through to Election Day.

There's not enough Wild Turkey and grapefruit in the world for this.

In a just world, this Wretched, filthy Mohammadon asshole El-Sayed would be DEPORTED. I covered his campaign and caught him lying from one end of Michigan to the other. One day he tells a communist muslim crowd that he WANTS TO make American FOOTBALL ILLEGAL WHILE french kissing that HATEFUL spincbter douche Hasan Piker. The next day he's telling a crowd at the University of Michigan that he scored 5 touchdowns in the 2014 Rose Bowl. All this Evil, dishonest creep does is pander. I think the term is ''TAQIYYA''.

Then, it was off to cover that corrupt Communist Harpy Peggy Flanagan. That vile, leftist weirdo is glasses-deep in all of the corruption in Somalisota, and most of The D.F.L. (Democrat-Fraudster-Liar) Party should be locked in prison for the next 20 years, Some asshole or group of assholes imported almost half of the population of Somalia, the place where our Blaxk Hawk soldiers were murdered and dragged around. That's the thanks we get for keeping these light bulb-headed savages from starvation. 

Now, they do what they do......STEAL EVERYTHING THEY POSSIBLY CAN FROM THEIR HOSTS, THEIR NEIGHBORS, AND FROM THEIR FRIENDS AND ENEMIES ALIKE. I HEAR their number one industry is  ''piracy''. All the democrat females running for office in 2026 are pandering to the so-called ''religion of peace'' by donning the traditional garb of these satan-worshipping rapists.

I covered that effeminette weirdo James Talarico. I understand he wants to make barbeques illegal in Texas and replace The Alamo and with a mosque. Confucious was more of a Christian than this clown!

These little arrogant America-hating communsit college kids think that inflation will go away if they elect this bunch of communist-Islamo-NAZIS. They keep using this bullshit term ''AFFORDABILITY''. They want to drag the landlord down main street and doucheboy Hasan wants the streets running red with the blood of capitalists.

I remember the good ole days, hating Republicans like that paranoid douche Tricky Dick made politics a little more fun. Now, it's the woke assholes trying to shame America from her affluence and freedom as they threaten everyone who loves this country. They are working their hardest to alienate even old school Democrats and trying to replace us with America-hating foreigners. I use to enjoy visiting colleges, but now these dreadful assholes are celebrating the murder of people like Charlie Kirk. This crap never happened before. The Democrat party acts like everyone is possessed.

I'll try to get through the next 6 weeks. When the going gets tough, the tough get WIERD. I hope I CAN MAKE IT TO NOVEMBER.

Your friend, Hunter S. Thompson.

OUR NEW TOP TEN LIST: THE TOP TEN REASONS WHY I'M ENDORSING ILHAN OMAR'S REPUBLICAN OPPONENT, JOHN NAGEL

In Minnesota's fifth Congressional District, underdog Republican candidate John Nagel, a 30-year state patrol officer, is running against the third-world corruptocrat incumbant Ilhan Omar. We're not sure if the 4-term Somali Democrat will make it to Election Day since federal agents are investigating her seemingly illegal marriage to her own brother. 

That would be marriage AND immigration fraud, and she can be denaturalized and deported from the country.

From the home office in Bovey, Minnesota, this is the new TOP TEN LIST. THESE ARE THE TOP TEN REASONS WHY I'M ENDORSING ILHAN OMAR'S REPUBLICAN CHALLENGER, JOHN NAGEL

10. Marriage fraud and immigration fraud are deal-breakers.. 

  9. While Ilhan Omar was defrauding the taxpayers, Nagel was working as a State Patrol officer.

  8. John Nagel didn'r refer to the 9/11 terrorist attacks as a day ''somebody did something.''

  7. A vote for Ilhan Omar is a vote for corruption.

  6. I don't vote for ANTI-SEMITES.

  5. Police squad. Nor the America-hating Democrat ''squad''

  4. I don't want to be represented by a third-world corruptocrat.

  3. John Nagel didn't marry his brother.

  2. Republicans might not be perfect, but the other side is crazy/

  1. I won't vote for a America-hating, Marxist mohammadon.

The Return Of Havnagootiim Vishnu Uerheer: The Guru Is Seeking Answers To Profound Questions

The great and wise guru,  Havnagootiim Vishnu Urheer, returns after a long time traveling around the world and beyond. Today, he has many universal questions that he has to ask....

THANK YOU, GREAT REDSQUIRREL, I hope you are well. I have many questions making my head feel heavy. For example:

How come there are no White third world countries?

Why do Leftists commit violent acts against conservatives, and call it ''speech'', but when conservatives SPEAK, the leftists call it ''violence''?

Why do muslims leave their countries, come to America, and complain that America isn't more like the muslim countries they just left??? IF YOU WANT SHARIA LAW, JUST GO BACK HOME WHERE YOU ALREADY HAVE IT!!!

The ultra-corrupt Democrats DEFRAUD and steal from the taxpayers and become filthy rich from incredible corruption, then accuse the President  WHO DOESN'T EVEN ACCEPT A PRESIDENTIAL SALARY of being the most corrupt? PROJECTION????

How does ILHAN OMAR get away with calling America a ''racist'' country....AFTER THE BLACK PEOPLE WITH LIGHTBULB HEADS MIGRATE INTO AND ROB THE MOSTLY WHITE PEOPLE......WITH THE HELP OF THE MOSTLY-WHITE GOVERNMENT???

What the socialists call ''income inequalty'' is it more more like ''INCOME DIVERSITY'?''

And finally,

Why do Americans PARK in DRIVEWAYS and DRIVE in PARKWAYS?

May the great spirit Krishna Bless you and yours!

PEGGY FLANAGAN: ARMY RECRUITERS ARE ''GOING AFTER'' POOR STUDENTS AND STUDENTS OF COLOR

 

Minnesota Lieutenant-Governor and DFL Senatorial candidate Peggy Flanagan refers to Army RECRUITMENT AND  THE OFFERING OF OPPORTUNITY as ''GOING AFTER'' poor students and students of color

In Peggy's world, kids are supposed to go to Democrat-ran government schools to be trained to be the DFL's racially-obsessed, communist revolutionary foot soldiers. To the leftist extremists running Minnesota It's downright abusive to teach these kids discipline or try to get young people to make make something of themselves.

Apparently, joining the Arny might turn more kids into Republicans. I remember when Barack Obama disenfranchised our military voters serving overseas, making sire that their ballots would NOT BE COUNTED IN 2012. He knew the members of our miitary HATED communists like him. It looks like Peggy knows this too.

These kids might learn patriotism and that America deserves to be protected from the enemies of America (like Peggy). The worst thing would be losing potential young BLACK VOTERS AND POOR STUDENTS to the Republican Party.

To Peggy Flanagan, corruptocrats, communists, crooks, criminals, creeps, and cross-dressers are acceptable, but members of our miltary are not. Somali frauds are welcome, but young, honest Americans serving our country would be a disaster..

25 Years After 9/11: Never Forget.....AND NEVER FORGIVE

25 years ago yesterday, America was attacked by hateful,Satan-worshipping terrorists. These evil animals hijacked planes, murdered the crews and passengers, and flew the hijacked planes into The World Trade Centers and The Pentagon, killing 3,000 Americans at their places where they worked.

Whenever these attacks are mentioned, most people, especially in the media, tell us to ''never forget this tragedy'' of ''what happened''. I say ''NEVER FORGIVE THE EVIL OF THESE ATROCITIES COMMITTED AGAINST US.'' I will NEVER get over these attacks, and I NEVER WANT TO. 

Muslim third-world corrruptocrat Ilhan Omar referred to the attacks as ''a day somebody did something.'' If her voters had a conscience, they would and should be ashamed of themselves. Semi-professional influencer Hasan Piker said that America deserved to be attacked.  I wonder if he's an evil, hateful douche because he is a muslim, or is he a muslim because he's a n evil, hateful douche.

After The Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, America didn't say ''No hard feelings'', We didn't begin allowing millions of Japanese into the country, then began electing them into Congress. America dropped nuclear bombs on them. It was incredibly foolish to let millions of muslims into the country after we were attacked. 

I DO NOT want to see quiet reflection or relatives weeping. I WANT TO SEE RIGHTEOUS OUTRAGE. I do NOT want to see that asshole Zohran Mamdani LAUGHING IT UP with AOC AT GROUND ZERO. I want our F.B.I. to visit EVERY Muslim and tell them we are watching them. 

EVERY MOSQUE SHOULD l be surveilled. If their places of ''worship'' ARE being used as ISLAMIC command centers, WE SHOULD BE DEPORTING ANYBODY THREATENING OR PLOTTING AGAINST THIS COUNTRY.

There was somebody wearing a Palestinian flag at the ceremonies in New York City. yesterday That's a direct threat, and that person should have put on a plane and sent out of the country. i THINK THAT every Muslim should be thrown out of the country. i will NEVER LET GO OF THIS.

NEVER FORGET. NEVER FORGIVE.

The Devil, Massachusetts Governor Maura Healey, And Lindsay Clancy: A Sister Mary Stigmata Commentary

In Massachusetts, The Lindsay Clancy Murder Trial in Plymouth ended in a mistrial. In the state capitol, Governor Maura Healey signed the most extreme abortion law iin the country. In the Lindsay Clancy Trial, 11 of the jurors wanted to call the defendent who brutally murdered her three, small children INNOCENT BY REASON OF INSANITY, 

while unhinged women in pink t-shirts stood outside the courthouse, supporting the cold-blooded killer AS IF SHE WERE A ROCK STAR..

Lindsay Clancy confessed to the murders. Her lawyer agreed to the fact she murdered her three children, BUT 11 of the 12 jurors believed she should NOT be found GUILTY. There was one HOLDOUT juror who refused to return a 'NOT GUILTY BY REASON OF INSANITY'' verdict, and this hero is being PUBLICLY criticized and harassed.

Here to comment on these disturbing events in Massachusetts is our Faith and Religion Correspondent, Sister Mary Stigmata.

GOD BLESS,

Mother Mary, full of grace, Mother of God, Bless the lone juror who refused to excuse the EVIL murder of God's three little angels. May the ACCURSED mother, Lindsay Clancy, miraculously recover from her paralysis so that she can stand up and have the heavenly host TAKE TURNS kicking her in the ASS.

THE DEVIL IS RUNNING RAMPANT IN MASSACHUSSETTS. Nine demon-crazed Harpies and two weak-kneed '' beta males'' voted to find Lindsay Clancy ''NOT GUILTY BY REASON OF INSANITY.''  MEANWHILE, IN BOSTON,  THE EVIL GOVERNOR SIGNED A NEW ABORTION LAW THAT WOULD MAKE MOLOCH PROUD. THE COVEN RUNNING MASSACHUSETTS APPLAUDED AND SNICKERED BEHIND HER!!!

The state of Massachusetts has become a  DEMONIC DEATH-CULT, EXCUSING THE MURDER(S) OF INNOCENT BABIES AND TREATING THE UNBORN LIKE TRASH TO BE KILLED AND DUMPED OUT. 

DEMONS are running wild in the State of Massachusetts The voters put a demon-possessed, extremely CALLOUS She-demon in the Governor's chair, and this hellish JEZEBEL signed this horrible bill into LAW. This Abortion law slaps ALMIGHTY GOD IN THE FACE AND DESTROYS HIS GREATEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL CREATION.

Lindsay Clancy PREMEDITATED THE MURDERS, sent her husband on an errand, and while he was away, STRANGLED their three small children. She blames Post-Pardom Depression. I BLAME AN UNCLEAN SPIRIT. I WOULD LIKE TO GO GET MY RULER AND TAKE THAT UNCLEAN SPIRIT AND SMACK IT'S KNUCKLES UNTIL THEY ARE BLOODY!!!! 

SWEET MARY, full of grace, Mother of God, I PRAY THAT YOUR ANGELS  DRIVE THE DEMONS OUT OF THE STATE OF MASSACHUSETTS!!!

There was ONE juror who stood tall against the nine sqawking Harpies on the jury and refused to excuse this murderer of her brutal crimes. The women on the jury are now being interviewd. Apparently, their heads have stopped spinning around and they can speak without vomitting green barf at the interviewer. 

Can you imagine standing up to these evil Harpies brow-beating you for seven days? I understand the two beta males wanted to vote ''guilty'', but they were beat into submission by the DEMON-POSSESSED WOMEN of the jury. To many women, killing your babies and the unborn isn't that big a deal. IT'S JUST ''A CHOICE.''

They say that since men don't have periods or can give birth they should have NO say. White Female Leftists aren't just destroying this wonderful country, they SEE EVIL AS JUST A VIRTUE-SIGNELLING OPPORTUNITY. THIS IS SICKENING!!!

ALMIGHTY GOD, PLEASE HOLD BACK YOUR WRATH ON THE STATE OF MASSACHUSETTS.

The Murder Of Charlie Kirk: One Year Later

He spoke fairly obvious truths. ''Find somebody to love, Get married, Make some babies before you think you can afford to, and go find a good church''. A demon-possessed murderer assassinated this free speech warrior one year ago today.

Everybody who knew Charlie KIrk liked him, and demon-crazed, small-minded bigots hated him. People like me listened to him on the radio because he made sense, and he still inspires people to do great things. Evil was exposed when he was murdered one year ago today, as the college professors and university administrators ''teaching'' your kids CELEBRATED his murder.

Goldfish-brained communists, educated by The Hate-Indoctrination Industry (my nickname for the American university system) jumped for joy like gorillas in a 1970's luggage commercial when they heard about his death. On Twitter/X, the ''college professors'' showed just how insane and hateful they REALLY were. We NEVER saw Americans celebrating the murder of another American before. This was unprecedented evil on a shocking, grotesque scale.

I remember when former President Bill Clinton had open-heart surgury. The Republicans on Twitter wished him a speedy recovery. We are not the same.

Charlie KIrk was murdered because he made Satan panic and the demons retreat. Charlie went to colleges and shared a very mainstream message, and the haters freaked out because he made sense to many of the indoctrinated students on these college campuses. He spoke with love but SPOKE WITH THE FACTS, and it was too much for THE HATEFUL LEFT. They made ridiculous, slanderous charges against him, but if your head was screwed on straight, you knew better.

ONE YEAR LATER, Charlie Kirk is a modern-day Christian martyr. Kierkegaard said ''The tyrant dies and his rule is over, but when a martyr dies, his reign jbegins''. His death has created thousands of Charlie Kirks all over the world, and hopefully this turns the country and the world back to God..

How Will The Vikings Disappoint Their Fans This Year?

Legendary R&B singer Jackie Wilson sang ''Disppointment was my closest friend''.  Change the line to ''Disappointment is my ONLY friend'', and he could be singing about being a Minnesota Vikings fan.

It's been 50 years since The Minnesota Vikings last made an appearence in The Superbowl. In that game, they disappointed their fans, falling flat against the Oakland Raiders 32-14. They've played in four Superbowls, disappointing their fans each time.

Since joining The NFL in 1961, this cursed franchise have disappointed their fans in almost every season. The team came close TO NOT DISAPPOINTING THEIR FANS in the 1987-1988 strike season, winning play-off games in New Orleans and San Francisco before falling JUST SHORT in Washington D.C.

There was the amazing 1998-1999 regular season when the team went 15-1, before being upset by the Atlanta Dirty Birds in The NFC Championship game. Once gain, The fans were disappointed.

In the 2019 season, former Green Bay Packer QB Brett Favre led the Vikings to the NFC Championship game, throwing a late interception and disappointing the fans AGAIN

In January 2001, The Vikings and The New York Giants met in the NFC Championship. The Vikings were humiliated, losing 41-goose-egg. Once again, Vikings fans were deeply disappointed.

In 1984, new Head Coach Les Steckel led the Vkings to an atrocious 3-13 regular season record, leaving their disappointed fans even more disappointed than usual, The following season, The Vikings improved to 7-9, a 4-win improvement.....so I wasn't that disappointed.

Last season, The Vikings were out of the playoffs with about 6 weeks left in the season. They won their last 5 games, but STILL missed the playoffs. Disappointing.

By 2015, I've had enough of the disappointment. I stopped watching. I DON'T LIKE SEEING show-boating players celebratie after every play. I rarely even watch professional football anymore. I know for a fact that The Vikings will never win a Superbowl, and I am so jaded and bitter I wish EVERY YEAR THAT both teams in the Superbowl would lose and everybody breaks a leg.

I also don't want to see the woke messages in the end zone, a Black ''National Anthem'',  or male cheerleaders.  

So, how will The Minnesota Vikings DISAPPOINT their fans THIS YEAR? Will they be out of the play-off hunt with 5 games to go? Will they lose ANOTHER HOME PLAY=OFF GAME THEY SHOULD WIN?

Disappointment is the Minnesota Vikings only friend.

OUR NEW TOP TEN LIST: THE TOP TEN THINGS CANADIEN ACTOR RYAN REYNOLDS HATED ABOUT THE 1980'S

We here at The RSR like to hear from opposing viewpoints, even idiot actors. Today, we open the floor to Canadien actor Ryan Reynolds. He co-stars in a new movie SET IN the 1980's, ''MAYDAY''.

He made some rather ODD comments abooot the ''horrible, traumatic'' 1980's. I was surprised that Reynolds was born in the mid-70's yet he had so much historical knowledge TO SHARE.

 

He EVEN mentioned the 1962 ''CUBAN MISSILE CRISIS''.

Your bushy-tailed correspondent was born in 1964, and I paid scant attention to the world situation until I saw 1984 DEMOCRAT presidential candidate Walter Mondale make a fool of himself in a campaign commercial, crying in front of a classroom of 5 year olds, looking terrified and SNIVELING about THE ARMS RACE. I remember thinking ''Dude!!! The Ruskies are watching you!!!' Pull yourself together!!''

I WAS 19 at the time.

From the home office in Bovey, Minnesota.... Here's the new TOP TEN list. These are THE TOP TEN THINGS CANADIEN ACTOR RYAN REYNOLDS HATED ABOUT THE 1980'S. THESE ARE THE TEN THINGS THAT TRAUMATIZED THIS ACCLAIMED ''HISTORIAN'' AND STAR OF THE NEW MOVIE ''MAYDAY'', COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU.

10. Seeing Those American punks (and not Team Canada) beat The Russians at Lake Placid.

 9.  Seeing Republican Presidential candidate George H.W. Bush call Democrat opponent Mickael Dukakis a ''liberal'.'

 8. when The Democrats couldn't stop Reagan's 1981 Budget from being passed. DAMN!!!!!!!

 7. The Summit in Reykjavik, Iceland  ended without a deal. WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!! DOUBLE DAMN!!!!!!

 6. those traumatic eighties big hair styles and shoulder pads WTF!!!!?????

 5. losing the top score in Pac-man.

 4. that time I lost that hot redhead to the lead singer of Whitesnake

 3. that time my uncle said that Triumph was better than RUSH

 2. that time Earth almost became extinct because of the Chernobyl melt-down

 1. ''WHY ARE THEY TEARING DOWN THE BERLIN WALL???!!! IT'S A PERFECTLY GOOD WALL!!!!

THE DEMOCRATS ARE A NATIONAL SECURITY THREAT

 

If you believe in the axiom ''Demography is destiny''. you have to believe that the modern Democrat Party (The Democrat-Socialists of America) are ran by ARROGANT, America-hating traitors who would SELL their freedom and FAMILIES for power. The Democrat-Socialists believe that they are using Muslims to increase their STATUS, but it's really the Muslims that are using The Democrat-Socialists in their quest for world domination.

While the Muslims out-breed us, many American women butcher their babies and act like White men are public enemy #1. Democrats are saying that America needs millions of THIRD-WORLD non-Whites to bring this country DOWN.

The Democrats have been taken over by college-indoctrinated historical illiterates, taught to hate Western Civilization. America's enemies fund most of the universities in this country, gouging their customers into economic oblivion as ''the kids'' are being trained to be dutiful Communist revolutionaries. So far, they have elected an anti-Semitic mohammadon UGANDAN Communist Mayor IN New York City, Zohran Mamdani.

For Normal-Americans, it's shocking to see so many third-world leftists elected to Congress. It's even more concerning to see SO MANY foreign, soft-on-crime judges sitting on the judicial benches across the country, For Empathetic-Liberals, electing the third-world is how we make THE WORLD RIGHT. These judges are corrupt, UNAMERICAN  tyrants, always ruling against The Trump Administration before being ovverruled by The Supreme Court. If Donald Trump ties his shoe, these over-zealous lunatics would order him not to.

These little indoctrinated college communists are cannon fodder for our overlord-dictator wannabees, In Minnesota, DFL ''leaders'' Peggy Flanagan and Tim Walz tell their little revolutionaries to ''put their bodies on the line.'' America's enemies, ACTBLUE and USAID rob the taxpayers and fund protests across the country. If you want to know why THIS Summer has been so quiet and riot-free, it's because The Trump Administration, along with Elon Musk has DE-FUNDED these ANTI-AMERICAN PROTESTS. IT'S ABOUT TIME!!

All over Twitter/X and TikTok there are mohammadon extremists telling EVERYDAY AMERICANS they should NOT EAT BACON, ACTING LIKE THEY ALREADY RULE OUR COUNTRY. The Democrats see nothing wrong with electing Muslim extremists to Congress. In fact, whistleblowers reporting on Somali fraudsters and criminals are labelled as ''RACISTS'' AND ''ISLAMOPHOBES''.

Many Americans are CLUELESS as to the real-life horrors brought on by SHARIAH ''LAW''. LQBTQ GROUPS have joined with the Muslim extremists, oblivious to the truth that Gays in the Muslim world are pushed out of windows to their death. Many WHITE WOMEN have no idea that UNDER SHARIAH, MUSLIM males are allowed to beat and stone disobient wives TO DEATH. Many women are too busy PROTESTING IN SILLY HANDMAID TALE COSTUMES and telling themselves that the ''patriarchy'' is the problem. Idiotic leftist female Mayors pander to the moslems by wearing hijabs and burqas, putting on a ridiculous show FOR THEIR MUSLIM MASTERS. They would surrender their cities for the mohammadon vote. 

The most serious threat to our civilization is THE RED-GREEN COALITION OF REDS (COMMUNISTS) AND GREENS (ISLAMIC EXTREMISTS), The Democrats have embraced the two forces that have killed the most people, created the most misery,  and have destroyed the most lives in human history. The Democrats falsely accuse Trump of acting like a dictator because they accuse their enemies of what they are guilty of.

The Democrats are a national security threat, believing that a third-world, communist take-over of America will improve their lot in life and act like they are ''the right people'' to bring about a Socialist utopia. These lunatics are FURTHER TO THE LEFT THAN EVEN THE ULTRA-CORRUPT DEMOCRAT ESTABLISHMENT. These little college-indoctrinated communists are glib and spoiled-rotten. They have never learned the horrors of Marxism or of being conquered by mohammadons, and they are historically illiterate. They believe the way to make America better is by killing and persecuting the so-called ''rich'' people. 

The commie educrats are starting them young. The government schools have replaced ''reading and writing'' with ''revolutions and rioting''. While over a fifth of the country can't even read, the communist perverts teaching your kids take them out of class to protest Orange Man Bad. It's about time to DEFUND the government schools and the universities (the hate-indoctrination industry) and DEPORT muslims who demand Shariah ''Law'' because it is incompatible with our Costitutional system.

Finally, all you little so-called Christians had better get off your duff and VOTE. A Christian who doesn't vote IS A VOTE FOR AMERICA'S ENEMIES. Almost half of all Chrstians don't vote, and that's disgraceful.

Wake up, America! God help us.

SONG PARODY ALERT!!! JOHN LENNON'S ''IMAGINE 2026''

Imagine there's no Muslims

The World Trade Center's standing high

No Commies picking our pockets

or Corrupt Democrat lies

Imagine ''We the People''

Living happy and free

Imagine no more Shariah

 no more third-world criminals

or your ''cultural enrichment''

Your Quran is a load of bull

Imagine all the people

keeping what they earn

You

You may say I'm a capitalist

and I like to keep my guns

I hope someday you will be deported 

Here come ICE, You better run

Imagine there's no more recessions

We can afford food and gas

Democrat crooks thrown in jail

Mamdani can kiss our ass

Imagine only Americans voting

No more foreigners making our laws

You

You may say I'm a greedy bastard

but I'm not the only one

We'll send you back to your third-world country

Here comes ICE, You better run

THE U.S. NEWS MEDIA: TONIGHT, KING ARTHUR LOSES SWORDFIGHT WITH THE BLACK KNIGHT

Tonight's top story. The Trump Administration killed 40-50 Iranian Senior Leaders, including the Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khameni, while wiping out MOST OF their leadership. The Iranians insist that it's JUST A SCRATCH, AND DEMANDED America's IMMEDIATE SURRENDER.

 In other news, OUR new poll shows that Democrats will win MAJORITIES OF THE U.S. HOUSE AS WELL AS THE SENATE. Candidates favored by DSA (Democrat Socialists of America) are preferred by A WHOPPING 28% of American Voters. It looks like Americans are anti-semitic COMMUNISTS, and they want TO LIVE UNDER SHARIAH LAW.

                                              

                                                

Oh, this just in: The U.S. and Israelis have severely degraded Iran's military capabilites and their NAVY has been  sunk in the bottum of the sea. The Iranian Government insists that THE WAR IS GOING EXTREMELY WELL. We have our correspondent in D.C. to ask Trump's Press Spokesman WHY AND HOW KING ARTHUR....I MEAN, TRUMP IS LOSING THIS WAR?

MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST DECLARE IT A DRAW.

'

Nicholae Carpathia (The Anti-Christ): Women Are Doing Most Of My Work For Me!!!

Even an occasional perusing of the news and social media is enough to be UNSETTLED of the non-stop spiritual battle happening in the world today. The world is becoming a vicious, evil place, and the fairer sex has been LEADING THE CHARGE AGAINST FREEDOM AND THE HUMAN RACE ITSELF.

In the classic novel ''1984'', George Orwell wrote ''It was always the women, and above all the young ones who were the most bigoted adherents to the party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies and nosers-out of unothodoxy''.

Here to comment on this is RSR regulat contributer Nicholae The Anti-Christ'' Carpathia:

YESSSS, WE ARE RIGHT ON TRACK!!!! America is ripe, AND THIS BIG, FAT APPLE IS READY TO FALL, JUST AS NEW YORK CITY FELL!! AS MY GIRL EVE LED ADAM ASTRAY, THE WOMEN ARE DESTROYING WESTERN CIVILIZATION!!!

The Governor of Massachusetts Maura Healey signed a new, HORRIFIC Abortion bill into law that would make Moloch proud. Lindsay Clancy killed her three small children, and demon-possessed women stand outside the courthouse supporting this LUNATIC. Luigi Mangione's groupies swoon over the murderer of Healthcare C.E.O. Brian Thompsoan. Young, unmarried women WITH A HOST OF MENTAL PROBLEMS HATE their country and are VOTING FOR MY DSA CANDIDATES!!!

Hundreds of Affluent White Female Leftists protest on behalf of illegal aliens even though many of these third world criminals commit violent crimes AGAINST  AMERICAN WOMEN. Many of these TOXIC EMPATHS learn to HATE America in MY HATE-INDOCTRINATION CENTERS, also known as ''universities.''

It's the women supporting Islam even though ''The religion of peace'' teach that rape is holy, that murdering Jews is godly, AND a wife who DISOBEYS her filthy MOON IDOL-WORSHIPPING husband can be buried to her neck and stoned to death. The AWFLs seem to have no problem with young Yazidi girls being locked in cages and burned alive;

Perhaps the reason why young women dominatie in the American universities is because they are voracious gluttons of evil, anti-American bigotry, or whatever MY DEMONIC, WESTERN CIVILIZATION-HATING PROFESSORS WANT TO ''TEACH'' THEM!!!

Did you see what happened when that ''Christian troublemaker'' Charlie KIrk was murdered by one of my CONFUSED, TWISTED trans cases? SO MANY AWFL COLLEGE PROFESSORS CELEBRATING ON TWITTER/X AND TIKTOK!! HOW WONDERFULLY DEMONIC!!!!

Even I AM AMAZED how many gullible women vote for SATANIC, ANTI-SEMITIC, SOCIALIST Democrats! My females WELCOME THE SEASON OF BAPHOMET, AND THE AMERICA-HATING, CORRUPT, FOREIGN ''SQUAD'' IN CONGRESS WHO ARE ROBBING THE AMERICAN PEOPLE OF THEIR WEALTH AS WELL AS THEIR PATRIOTISM. 

We keep accusing the suckers that AMERICANS ARE RACISTS, and they keep electing REAL RACIST THIRD-WORLD CORRUPTOCRAT-COMMUNISTS LIKE ILHAN OMAR AND RASHIDA TLAIB!!! I LOVE WHITE GUILT!!!!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm doing what I can to deliver a ''not-guilty'' verdict for that EEEVIL lunatic Lindsay Clancy!!

TODAY'S WORD OF THE DAY: hamasshole

 ''hamasshole''

a portmanteau of ''Hamas'' and ''asshole''

(n.) An uneducated, (sometimes) violent anti-semite who spouts Hamas propaganda and rebrands Jew-hatred as social justice.

Example: The hamassholes celebrated the rapes and murders of Israelis on October 7th.

Is Jon Ossoff The Biggest Douche In The Universe THIS WEEK?

 

''The Biggest Douche In The Universe,'' the 15th episode of the sixth season of the animated series SOUTH PARK, featured a ''beauty'' pageant of gross, hideous creatures, vying for the HORRIBLE title. Apparently, who ever organized this contest never met a MODERN-DAY Democrat, BECAUSE DEMOCRATS WOULD DOMINATE THIS COMPETITION IF THEY WERE ALLOWED TO COMPETE

A douche is defined as an obnoxious or contemptable person. I think that douches are also abusive to others. All  modern-day liberals are abusive to taxpayers and law-abiding American citizens in general.. 

I would say if you ranked the 500 biggest douchenags in the universe, at least 450 would be well-known Democrat leaders. It's mandatory to be an AMERICA-HATING  DOUCHE if you want a place at the Democrat table. Such DOUCHETASTIC LUMINARIES include THE ULTRA-HATEFUL OBNOXIOUS DOUCHE HASAN PIKER, SOCIALIST GRIFTER-DOUCHE BERNIE SANDERS, DFL CORRUPTOCRAT MN GOVERNOR-DOUCHE TIM WALZ, CORRUPTOCRAT DOUCHE GREASY GAVIN NEWSOM, ZOHRAN THE MORON-DOUCHE MAMDANI, ANTI-SEMITIC THIRD-WORLD CORRUPTOCRAT SHE-DOUCHE ILHAN OMAR, and a host of other mean-spirited, ULTA-leftist COMMIE-DOUCHES..

This week's BIGGEST DOUCHE IN THE UNIVERSE is Georgia Democrat Senator Jon Ossoff, who suggested that President Trump and his close aide NATALIE HARP are having an affair during a speech AT A CAMPAIGN RALLY as the crowd laughed like hyenas.

To LEFTIST DOUCHE Jon Ossoff, ANYONE showing loyalty to ORANGE MAN BAD can be attacked. He is SUPPOSEDLY a PUBLIC SERVANT.

It WOULD BE unfair to deny Senator Ossoff his award THIS WEEK. The competition for the title ''BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG IN THE UNIVERSE'' AMONG DEMOCRATS is indeed FIERCE. All the Democrats are WINNERS, AND they ALL should be CROWNED.

There are many, many douches in the world. Almost ALL MUSLIMS are douches. Nearly ALL college professors are AMERICA-HATING DOUCHES. Many of them CELEBRATED THE MURDER OF CHARLIE KIRK.  DISGUSTING, EFFING DOUCHES.

If you're one of those AWFL fans of Luigi Mangeone, who murdered Healthcare C.E.O. Brian Thompsopn AND/OR Lindsay Clancy, the Mother who strangled her three children, YOU'RE A MENTAL CASE AND A DOUCHE. If you hate ICE AGENTS but protest for illegal  aliens, you're a TOXIC, EMPATHATIC DOUCHE.

So, congratulations to Georgia Senator Jon Ossoff. You're THE BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG IN THE UNIVERSE THIS WEEK. SO, DEAR RSR READERS, WHICH DEMOCRAT WOULD YOU CROWN AS KING OR QUEEN OF THE DOUCHES NEXT WEEK?

(Singing): ''THERE HE IS, THE BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG IN THE UNIVERSE THIS WEEK!!!!''

A Comment From Total Bastard Airlines: ''Buh-Bye To Embattled Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson''

Hello, It's me, MITCHELL, former male steward for TOTAL BASTARD AIRLINES. The RedSquirrel Report has asked me to comment on THE RECALL EFFORT AGAINST SOCIALIST SEATTLE MAYOR KATIE WILSON.

Under the mayor's hostile-to-business leadership, many businesses are leaving. Katie led a BOYCOTT against STARBUCKS COFFEE. When Howard Schultz, former president of the famous Seatlle brand threatened to leave, THE SOCIALIST MAYOR LAUGHED AND SAID ''BUH-BYE''.

Now, Mayor Wilson's poll numbers have dropped sharply, and the city has started an effort to RECALL THE INCOMPETENT MAYOR . It appears the people of Seattle city may soon be saying ''Buh-bye'' to Katie.

MAYOR KATIE WILSON TOLD THE RICH PEOPLE IN SEATTLE, ''BUH-BYE.'', AND NOW....................

(Dancing and singing): NSYNC says ''Bye Bye Bye, BITCH!'' 

Supertramp says (SINGING FALSETTO): ''BUH-BYE Stranger!

ALL THE TAXPAYERS SHE SCREWED ARE SINGING (singing:) NA NA NA NA.....NA NA NA NA HEY HEY, BUH-BYE...............

Motley Crue says ''Katie, don't go away mad, KATIE, Just go away, BUH-BYE!!!!''

THE EARLY 90'S BAND FIREHOUSE CALLED AND SAID ''BUH-BYE, BABY, BUH-BYE, AND THAT'S ALL SHE WROTE, BUH-BYE!!!!''

K.C. AND THE SUNSHINE BAND SAYS ''That's the way uh-huh. uh-huh BUH-BYE!!!!!!!''

OLD BLUE EYES IS SINGING ''START SPREADING THE NEWS, YOU'RE LEAVING.........BUH-BYE!!!!!!'' BUH-BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TAKE OUR NEW RSR POLITICAL POLL

Welcome to The 2026 RSR Poll. Here are a series of poll questions. We will determine if you favor The Republicans, Democrat-Socialists, or Independents:

Question 1: Do you consider yourself a A) Republican, or B.) Democrat?

Question 2. Who would you rather vote for? A). A MAGA candidate or B). Osama bin Laden?

Question 3: What would make you happier? A) A good job and money in the bank or, B). the streets running red with the blood of capitalists?

Question 4: What/Who do you hate? A). violent terrorists and violent illegal alien criminals raping and murdering Americans or, B) Whites, Blacks, Browns, capitalists, Christians, Jews, Western Civilization, America's founding Fatheres?

Question  5: What is a WOMAN? A,) An adult human female or, B). I don't know.

Question 6: If you can't afford something, you....A.) Spend your money wisely until you can afford it,  and try to earn more money , or B). Demand THE GOVERNMENT TAKES IT AWAY FROM SOMEONE ELSE AND Give it to you?

Question 7: What SHOULD be the law of the land? A.) The Constitution or, B.) shariah

Question 8: Should men and women be equal under the law? A.) Yes or, B.) No, women should be forced to wear a burqa and be stoned to death for disobeying their husband.

Question 9: Unborn babies should be______? A.) Welcomed into the world. or, B.) Aborted because thats what Moloch wants.

Question 10: Illegal aliens should be...........? A.) Arrested and deported. or, B.) registered to vote, rewarded for breaking our laws and be given lots of free stuff.

Question: 11: Did 3,000 American citizens deserve to die horrible deaths on September 11, 2001? A.) NO. B.) YES

If you answered A.) on 8 or more questions, you agree with REPUBLICANS.

If you answered A.) on 7 of the questions, you are probably an Independent.

If you answered B.) on 6-8 questions, you agree with DEMOCRATS.

If you answered B.) on at least 8 questions, you are a Communist Socialist Maniac, a hateful lunatic and The F.B.I. SHOULD be paying you a visit soon. You are crazy, and may God have mercy on your soul.

SONG PARODY ALERT!!! BANANARAMA SINGS ABOUT THE CALM SUMMER WITHOUT USAID AND ACTBLUE-FUNDED RIOTS

Americans have been noticing what a calm, peaceful riot season it's been since President Trump and Elon Musk de-funded The Democrat's rioters. 

USAID AND ACTBLUE have been de-funded and THE SPLC (Southern Poverty Law Center) have been BUSTED. IT SEEMS LIKE NO ONE IS BEING PAID TO PROTEST and no one is seeing any slick, pre-printed signs anywhere.

In 1984, POP TRIO BANANARAMA scored with a major top ten hit, ''CRUEL SUMMER''. Now, they return with a re-make ''Calm Summer'', describing the lack of riots since all the Democrat-Communist groups have been de-funded BY DOGE (Department  of Government Efficiency. Hit it, ladies:

The Summer is here, the cities aren't burning, No protestors around

No brick piles or pre-printed signs

No voices screaming ''NO JUSTICE NO PEACE'!!!''

I just don't understand

There's no riots, USAID and ACTBLUE were defunded

It's a calm (calm), Calm Summer

You protesters are all on your own

It's a calm (calm), Calm Summer

The funding is gone

The commies are de-fumded, ACTBLUE is broke, You rioters are on your own

The SPLC has been busted, Trump has cut the funding to the bone

It's a calm (calm), calm Summer

You protestors are all on your own

It's a calm (calm), Calm Summer

Crime is way down and the funding's CUT to the bone

It's a calm (calm),  Summer

No ''mostly-peaceful'' riots going on

It's a calm (calm), Summer

The funding is gone, Where has the paid rioters gone?

The StarTribune Celebrates JIm's Democrat Daughter Amy, Ignores Republican (Whats-Her-Name) Lisa Demuth

 Just look at this:

This disgraceful BIRDCAGE LINER is already celebrating. Here, the Democrat gubernatorial candidate is being CELEBRATED as ''the first woman to lead major ticket for Minnesota governor.'' They IGNORE THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE, ALSO A WOMAN....also ''the first woman to lead a major ticket for Minnesota governor.''

'FOR ALL YOU STRIB READERS, HER NAME IS LISA DEMUTH. She is currently The Speaker in The Minnesota House of Representatives. YEAH, I think she's a PRETTY BIG DEAL.

WE CONTINUE. Her (Amy Klobuchar's) victory gives Minnesota Democrats a FORMIDABLE nominee to lead the ticket at a time when the party's brand is UNDER STRAIN. 

Translation: Our crappy newspaper are cheerleading for Amy because her liberal Dad Jim wrote for us and we are Democrat suck-ups. When we say ''the party's brand is under strain'', we really mean ''we're protecting the fraud-ridden D.F.L. corruptocrats currently being investigated. The current Governor, Tim Walz, has dropped out of his re-election bid because he's a corrupt, disgraced hack.

We at The Strib ignore (What's Her Face) Lisa Demuth because she's ALSO THE FIRST WOMAN TO LEAD A MAJOR TICKET FOR MINNESOTA TICKET, BUT SHE'S A REPUBLICAN,.....SO WE'RE IGNORING HER.

OUR RIDICULOUSLY-BIASED NEWSPAPER HATES REPUBLICANS. SO, we're acting like Democrat victory is a foregone conclusion and Amy''s Republican opponent (WHAT'S HER FACE) doesn't exist.

Screw you, and screw all you rocks and cows. That's what The Strib is saying to you.

Muslim Threatens To Leave Country If We Keep Eating Bacon. American Woman Shows Her ''The Door''

 

This Week's Reading From The Book Of James (Talarico) ''Faith In A Non-Binary God And The Pollsters''

 

We begin this reading in the Third Chapter of James (Talarico)

1. And in the days of primaries, Francesca Hong's 29 point lead evaporated, and there was a great voter drought, and she lost.  2. Likewise, El-Sayed's 10 point lead came and went, like dust in the wind, and his poll numbers dropped like manna from heaven.

3. In those days, the FAITHFUL candidate Talarico lead against PAXTON by a margin of 3, and the democrats in Austin rejoiced, saying ''Surely, our non-binary God will deliver our eventual victory because the pollsters all say we are LEADING IN THE POLLS. IN AUGUST, AND THE POLLS ARE NEVER WRONG!!!

4. Then the prophets saw the future. 5. The polls tightened, and the rank-and-file Republicans began to pay attention. Talarico's lead shrank faster than his testosterone levels. 6. Surely, a tofu-eating ''Christian'' who insults beef-eating followers of Christ must have faith he will win in The Lone Star State.

7. On Election Day, Talarico rejoiced, saying ''I BELIEVE THAT I SHALL BE VICTORIOUS, JUST LIKE BETO, FOR THE POLLS SAY SO!!!''

8. BUT, ALAS, Talarico could barely even win in Austin. Paxton was victorious in In Dallas-Fort Worth and Houston and San Antonio. In East Texas and West Texas, an army of right-wing voters came forward and voted for The Normal Texan..

Question: What EVER Happened To The Idea Of ''Confronting Hate Speech''?

Do you remember the term ''HATE SPEECH''? This term has practically DISAPPEARED from the national debate. Conservatives were ACCUSED CONSTANTLY OF HATE SPEECH MERELY FOR TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT THE  LIES AND HYPOCRACY OF THE LEFT OR FOR DISAGREEING WITH THEIR LOONEY LEFTIST OPPONENTS.

The Democrat-Socialist's HATE CAUCUS use the ''social'' media to whip their UNHINGED communist lunatics into a frenzy, as The Left PHYSICALLY THREATEN their opponents. THEY INSPIRE THEIR ARMY OF LUNATICS, like the murderers of the healthcare executive Brian Thompson and conservative speaker Charlie Kirk.

Influencer AND SPEAKER OF HATE Hasan Piker (pictured) cannot go two seconds without throwing an ''F'' bomb or threatening to make the streets run red with the blood of capitalists. He also infamously said that America DESERVED TO BE ATTACKED ON 9/11.

Of course Rolling Stone Magazine and The New York Times treat THIS BARKER OF HATE like a rock star.

Instead of SHUNNING this hateful, bomb-throwing lunatic, the Socialist-Democrats embrace his hateful rhetoric. He hates Whites, Blacks, Browns, AND Jews. He hates capitalists and mainstream establishment Democrats, using the most HATEFUL, VIOLENT speech imaginable. It's simply UNBELIEVABLE that The F.B.I. hasn't paid him a visit yet.

Now, he is DEMANDING the Socialist-Communists like Michigan Senatorial candidate El-Sayed to defend him.

There has been at LEAST 4 assassination attempts on the life of President Trump. The constant lying from the left, calling him ''Hitler, A NAZI, NO-KINGS, ect. makes the loonies on the left ''feel 'JUSTIFIED' in their violent madness. Leftists tried to kill government officials during the latest WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT'S DINNER and also thried to BLOW UP a UFC EVENT on the lawn of The White House. So-called ''establishment Democrats'' act like NONE OF THIS IS HAPPENING.

Still, nobody refers to all the CONSTANT leftists threats and hateful, false claims thrown AT THE CENTER-RIGHT as 'HATE SPEECH.'' WHY IS THIS?

Former Candidate Francesca Hong To Open New Restaurant

Former Wisconsin gubernatorial candidate Francesca Hong has announced that she will open a new restaurant on Thanksgiving Day.

The Socialist politician hasn't decided if she will allow White customers, though she may have to because she plans to let non-Whites use an EBT card and eat for free. Francesca has been in business before, but She is still asking Communist, Anti-Semite New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani for pointers in starting a city-ran business.

''Yes, I have consultants from The Big Apple showing me how to start my GOVERNMENT-run restaraunt! I love Thanksgiving, and I AM a former chef. I AM PLANNING TO INVITE SPECIAL CUSTOMERS, LIKE .CHINESE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS FOR TURKEY DINNER, AND I will make BILLIONS$$$$$$$$$$.

,,,,,,And, of course, my restaraunt WILL BE OPEN ON CHRISTMAS DAY. Let me introduce to you  MY MOST FAMOUS ''Chinese Turkey!''

Minnesota Democrat Candidate Peggy Flanagan's Victory Speech

After defeating opponent Angie Craig Tuesday night, Democrat Senate candidate and Lieutenant-Governor Peggy Flanagan accidently took a shot of Sodium Pentathol truth serum and said the following:

I thank all you sneaky Somali fraudsters,  criminals and Affluent White Fruitcake Leftists for choosing ME over Angie Craig, and I welcome all you COMMUNISTS, CORRUPTOCRATS, CRIMINALS, CROOKS, CREEPS, KLEPTOS, AND CROSS-DRESSERS to my campaign!!!!

I welcome all the  Somalis, ESPECIALLY everyone from The LEARING Centers, AND  ALL YOU FRAUDSTERS!! I PROMISE YOU THAT I WILL KEEP THAT DFL (DEMOCRAT FRAUDSTER-LIAR) MONEY SPIGOT FLOWING AND KEEP FEEDING OUR FRAUD AS LONG AS YOU VOTE FOR ME in the general election. 

i will make a fool of myself pandering to YOU AS I  put on a hijab while WAVING that hideous SOMALISOTA STATE FLAG. I WILL follow in the footsteps of TIM WALZ. WAITAMINNUT, I'M NOT RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR!! Oh well.......

I say ''SCREW THE TAXPAYERS!!!! DO THEY THINK THE GOVERNMENT IS SUPPOSED TO WORK FOR YOU LITTLE, LAW-ABIDING NOBODIES????!!!! WE WORK FOR THE SOMALI CROOKS, VIOLENT UNDOCUMENTED CRIMINALS,  AND INTERNATIONAL DRUG KINGPINS!!!

My primary opponent Angie Craig VOTED FOR The Laken Riley Act, named after a young woman raped and murdered by an UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANT.  Angie wants to PROTECT American Women when ALL REAL DEMOCRATS WOULD RATHER PROTECT THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT RAPISTS AND MURDERERS  FROM ARREST AND DEPORTATION!!!! I mean, WHO ELSE ARE WE STILL GONNA GET TO VOTE FOR US if we can't keep undocumented MIGRANTS in the country???

I hate THAT EVIL, ROTTEN TRUMP and all HIS SUPPORTERS (AUDIENCE ''BOOS''), and I hate those rotten ICE agents (more ''boos''), BECAUSE THEY KEEP ARRESTING MY SUPPORTERS!!! UNDOCUMENTED immigrant drug dealers, murderers, rapists SHOULD FEEL WELCOME IN MINNESO-COLD AND ALL OVER THIS COUNTRY. Remember, NO ONE is illegal on stolen land!!!!

I promise to defund ICE as well as make Renee Good's birthday A PAID, NATIONAL HOLIDAY, AND I PROMISE TO HAVE MOUNT RUSHMORE DESTROYED!! I'll blow that mothf*cker up, me and Rashida Tlaib!!!!

i promise to REPLACE THANKSGIVING with a holiday more CULTURALLY INCLUSIVE!!!!! DOWN WITH WHITE PRIVILEGE AND WHITE MEAT!!!!!

WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT BECAUSE MICHELLE TAFOYA WILL BE FUNDED BY AIPAC AND THE RICH REPUBLICAN BILLIONAIRES, AND she will help Trump and Elon Musk tip OVER OUR WONDERFUL, MULTI-TRILLION DOLLAR CORRUPTION APPLECART....AND WE CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN!!!! ALL HAIL ACTBLUE AND USAID!!!!!!!!!

We need to do away with The Death Penalty for psychotic murderers, BUT MAKE SURE WE ALWAYS HAVE THE DEATH PENALTY FOR INNOCENT, UNBORN BABIES!!!

FINALLY, WE DEMOCRATS MUST ALWAYS PROTECT TRANS KIDS FROM THEIR MEDDLING PARENTS!!!

Well, I better end it there, or MY HEAD WILL START SPINNING AND I'LL START PROJECTILE VOMITTING IN EVERYONE'S FACE. GOOD NIGHT, AND SATAN F*CK AMERICA!!!!!!

Mamdani And El-Sayed: Are Their Socialist Voters Seeking An Arab GENIE To Grant Their AFFORDABILITY Wishes?

Everywhere you look there's a Democrat Socialist-Communist candidate of Arab, Muslim or African ethnicity. They're EVERYWHERE. You can't turn around or fire up the Twitter/X without SEEING them.

Let's ignore for a moment their America-bashing, Anti-Semitism, hatred for Western Civilization, open support for Hamas and terrorism, Their cruel, ignorant view of the 9/11 Attacks, their admiration for Communist mass-murderers, their incredibly insane, Anti-West worldview, and just concentrate on how they think about THE ECONOMY.

Their spoiled voter base WANT AFFORDIBILITY, yet most of them are deep in debt to their corrupt leftist college.They also can't keep up with THE RENT, can't pay for HEALTHCARE, and they're also demanding free or very cheap GROCERIES. 

Why are these Arab Socialist-leftists so appealing to these voters? These mushy-brained brats also hate America and They HATE their fellow Americans. They are taught at college BY HATEFUL PROFESSORS THAT AMERICA IS EVIL.These brats LOVE COMMUNISM AND ISLAM, even though the two ideologies are the two that have caused BY FAR he most damage in human history.

So, here's my new theory: These Socialist-Democrat voters are ENTHRALLED by ARAB SOCIALIST CANDIDATES LIKE ZOHRAN MAMDANI AND ABDUL EL-SAYED BECAUSE THESE DUNDERHEADS  ARE LOOKING FOR.....A GENIE TO GRANT THEIR WISHES. These voters are ''magic thinkers'', fantasizing  their problems will be solved by a MAGIC politician WISH-GRANTER, while also believing that most jobs are BENEATH THEM.

Most Communists are rich, spoiled, ne'er-do-wells like Karl Marx was. They want to rule you, take what you have, and they're Communists because they demand the special status of being on top without ever working for it. Almost ALL of them are professional students and college professors.

Mamdani's voters wanted free busrides and cheap rent, and he SMILED and told them he'll grant their wishes. El-Sayed tells HIS supporters that he'll grant THEIR wish of FREE HEALTHCARE. Mamdani voters GOBBLED UP ALL his BS., and he only had to be GLIB, SOUND good, and SPEAK WELL.  The problem is, he's a liar and he's destroying New York City, but HIS VOTERS BELIEVE HE WILL MAGICALLY GRANT THEIR WISHES.

These SOCIALIST ARAB GENIES ARE ACTORS, PRETENDING TO grant wishes LIKE FREE HEALTHCARE, LOW RENT, FORGIVEN COLLEGE LOANS, FREE OR VERY CHEAP GROCERIES. and other goodies.

The RUB? These genies can promise to GRANT YOUR WISHES, but they don't know how markets work or how to deliver on anything. They don't know why things cost what they cost. WHAT they CAN do is TARGET THE RICH, and for their gullible, Bolshevik voters, that's good enough. 

Instead of RUBBING A LAMP, all you have to do is fill that oval next to the candidate's name, and THEY WILL promise to grant your communist, socialist wishes. ISN'T THAT EXCITING???

TOP TEN THINGS MICHIGAN DEMOCRAT CANDIDATE ABDUL EL-SAYED HATES ABOUT AMERICA

It's Election season, and we're learning so much about the candidates.Looney Wisconsin gubernatorial candidate Francesca Hong hates Thanksgiving, loves Thanksgiving, and hates seeing old White people. 

Muslim-Socialist Michigan Senatorial candidate Abdul El-Sayed has quite a list of things he HATES about America, AND Western Civilization for that matter.

From our home office in Bovey, Minnesota, we present our new TOP 10 LIST. These are THE TOP TEN THINGS MICHIGAN SENATORIAL CANDIDATE ABDUL EL-SAYED HATES ABOUT AMERICA:

10. Christians

  9 Jews

  8, White people

  7. Black people

  6. Football

  5. Independence Day fireworks

  4. job-creators

  3. The free market

 2. non-muslims

 1. non-Communists

Sports: Following Hard Foul On Sophie Cunningham, Indiana Fever Add Muscle

AND NOW, THE RSR SPORTS REPORT WITH JOE PISCOPO:

THANKS, RED.

Tonight in THE WNBA, Controversial Shooting Guard--small forward Sophie Cunningham is going for a lay-up, when Chicago Sky ENFORCER DiJonai ''THE CLOTHESLINE'' Carrington CLOTHERLINES HER, ALMOST DECAPITATING Sophie. A flagrant foul 2 is called, and DiJonai is (Joe clicks his tongue) THROWN OUT OF THE GAME!!!

Since the ASSAULT on Sophie, MY SOURCES TELL ME that THE FEVER ARE ADDING SOME MUCH-NEEDED MUSCLE, adding THE EXTREMELY TOUGH HANSON SISTERS DANIELLE, STEPHANIE, AND JESSICA to the Fever roster.

The Hanson ''sisters'': Left to Right: Danielle, Stephanie and Jessica, or is it Sephanie, Jessica, and Danielle?

We understand the ''sisters'' are FORMER HOCKEY PLAYERS.

This is a big, BIG story, as The WNBA have indicated that they are NOW ALLOWING MEN IDENTIFYING AS WOMEN INTO THE LEAGUE. Former NBA player, Enes Kanter Freedom has made his intention known to enter The DRAFT NEXT YEAR.

Also, we understand that Tammy ''Dr. Hook-Shot'' McKracken is a very sought-after GOON/enforcer, probably a top 5 draft choice in the next WNBA DRAFT.

THAT'S SPORTS TONIGHT. I'M JOE PISCOPO. BACK TO YOU, RED!

The Democrat's Insane 2026 Campaign Strategy: Brainwash, Inflame, Terrify, Anger, And Alienate 70-90% Of The Voters

Imagine The American Voters as a spectrum. On the Right side, you have 30% Republican. On the Left side, you have 30% Democrats, while both sides try to appeal to the 40% in the middle. We call these people 'moderates''. For the MOST part, neither party OWNS their vote.

While The Republicans run with nice, mostly-White, handsome, square-headed CONSERVATIVE, PATRIOTIC men and MAGA women who look like highly-agreeable dolls, The Democrats recruit FOREIGN, hateful, NAZI tatted, anti-Thanksgiving, and haters of Western Civilization.

In Michigan, The Republicans are running SOLID CONSERVATIVE candidate Mike Rodgers.The Democrats have Abdul El-Sayed, a HATEFUL, ANTI-SEMITIC SOCIALIST.

They say that El Sayed is the favorite. What Gives?

The Republicans have their 30% on The Right and are appealling to the 40% in The Middle, while the Democrats are alienating HALF OF THEIR OWN BASE. We are hearing that BLACK MEN CAN'T STAND El-Sayed. Who is going to vote for this Socialist Mohammadon-Extremist? Muslims, Anti-Semites, communist college students and AWFLs? (Affluent White Female Leftists)? What is that? 16-17% OF THE VOTER SPECTRUM?? YOU'RE GONNA WIN WITH 16-17? 

DEMOCRAT CAMPAIGN WORKERS WILL HAVE TO DO AN AMAZING AMOUNT OF CHEATING TO WIN THIS ONE.

In Minnesota, I think THE QUESTION THAT EACH VOTER SHOULD BE ASKING THEMSELVES IS  ''DO YOU OPPOSE DFL CORRUPTION OR DO YOU WANT EVEN MORE OF YOUR MONEY STOLEN AND GIVEN TO THE CORRUPTOCRATS, ILLEGALS, AND SOMALI CRIMINALS? '' The ''NEWS'' MEDIA SAYS THAT Democrats STILL lead in the polls. God help us. 

How can people STILL vote for Democrats? One of my theories is ''You are who you listen to'', and Democrat voters are punch-drunk on NPR, The View, CNN, MSNOW, and other ''news'' sources that smack them in the face like Manny Pacquuio hitting the speed bag with NON-STOP LIES. The quickness of misinformation almost breaks the time-space continuom, giving these liberals such a terrible case of TDS they would blame President Trump for starting World War 2. 

It's AMAZING how some everyday Americans can STILL vote for a Democrat. They have the so-called ''news'' media barking for them.

Black voters are more conservative than most White Americans, and more pro-life, yet the vast amount of Black voters still vote Democrat. The Republicans fail to make their case and allow The Democrats to keep lying to Black voters somewhere in the moderate middle on the issues.

The Democrat party has been taken over by the Hate Caucus. They call themselves ''Socialists'', but they are Communists-Muslims. (The Red-Green Coalition) They speak hate non-stop. They talk about KILLING THEIR ENEMIES. They make the 15 % on the extreme Left VERY EXCITED, but they're alienating and angering Normal-Americans

The American People HAVE TO ANNIHILATE The SOCIALIST-COMMUNIST Democrat candidates and they have to be taught A LESSON in November or this country will be in horrible danger,

A Red Forman Commentary: Abdullah El-Sayed, Hasan Piker, And Francesca Hong Deserve A Kick In The Ass

We here at RSR are happy to welcome Eric's Dad, Correspondent Red Forman to GIVE HIS THOUGHTS  on The 2026 Election season. Today's commentary centers on Michigan Senatorial candidate Abdul El-Sayed, Wisconsin Gubernatorial candidate Francesca Hong, and ''infiuencer'' Hasan Piker:

Thanks, Red. Hey, i like your name.

It's ME, Eric's Dad, here to kick some ASS, namely that HATEFUL mohammadon douche Abdul EL-Sayed, his creepy LITTLE friend Hasan Piker, and that looneytoon batshit crazy whackjob, Democrat gubernatorial candidate, Francesca Hong. She says she wants to cancel THANKSGIVING. Who does she think she is, The Thankgiving GRINCH??? My spectacular wife Kitty makes one Hell of a Thanksgiving Day turkey. I think this Francesca babe is a MALADJUSTED SOCIALIST WEIRDO.

This whackjob said she had to leave a Culver's resteraunt because there were too many old, WHITE people. I don't know about you, but that sounds kinda RACIST. I thought that politicians were supposed to NOT SOUND RACIST. I'm voting for her opponent. SHE GETS THE SECOND PLACE RIBBON AND A KICK IN THE ASS.

Michigan Democrat Mohammadon Socialist Abdul El-Sayed hates White AND Black people, AND SAYS HE WANTS TO give everybody FREE HEALTHCARE, BUT I DON'T THINK HE HAS TOLD US HOW HE'LL PAY FOR IT OUTSIDE OF ''TAXING THE RICH''. These Arab Socialists tell us about all the free stuff they'll give us. Is he a Genie? I don't remember rubbing a lamp. I understand he's very popular with the pot-smoking commies in the university dormrooms. Just say ''NO'' to drugs, mohammadons, communists, and these America-hating douchebags running for office

I might move the family to Michigan so I can vote for his opponent, Republican Mike Rogers . As for that mohammadon Socialist jerk, he gets a kick in the ass.

Hasan Piker isn't running for anyting, but he should be running to avoide my foot kicking his hateful, commie ass. This creep says that Muslims should rape White women and daughters. If this creep comes anywhere near my wife or my adorable daughter Lori, I'll break his neck with my bare hands. You can go right ahead and call me an ''islamophobe''. My only regret is that I have only two ass-kicking feet to give for my family and country.

This so-called ''influencer'' Piker admires Chinese communist dictator Mao Zedong, and even walks around with a Chairman Mao grey coat on. Hasan must have quit school in the 4th Grade, admiring the greatest mass murderer in human history. Either he's an ignorant retard or a horribly maladjusted psychopath. Either way, he deserves a GREAT BIG kick in the ass. 

This evil douche also said we deserved to be attacked on 9/11. The democrats will have to do A HELL OF A LOT of cheating to win.

Why can't these mohammadon lunatics be more like Eric's friend Fez? He's weird but he's a nice kid.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.