Thursday, July 29, 2021

SONG PARODY ALERT!---->Deirks Bentley Sings 'Democrats On A Plane'


Democrats in the Texas State Legislature recently ran away from their jobs, chartering a plane to Washington D.C.  Republicans were trying to pass an election reform law, but the Democrats left the state to block the legislature from passing it The Democrats took silly pictures of themselves and drank beer on the plane.

It was a public relations fiasco, as critics roasted the silly stunt. This episode reminds me of the Deirks Bently hit song, 'Drunk On A Plane':


We refused to do our jobs and vote on reforning our elections 

So we chartered a plane and ran away because we're big, bad Texans

We drank cheap beer and saved Texas from White supremacists

We're Democrats on a plane


Our plan was to block the quorum by not showing up for work

Our little stunt showed the world that we're big, fat jerks

We flew to D.C. where the leftist Democrats are truly insane

We're Democrats on a plane


Lots of beer for everybody

This is the Democrat party

Nobody here has a mask on

Let's get the party started 

We are drunk on power

Getting dumber by the hour

They're gonna arrest us when we get back

Our heads are in the clouds

Our critics are calling us clowns

and this stunt was inane

We are Democrats on a plane


We know we can't stay away forever

We thought that we were being clever

When it comes to stupid donkeys we take the cake

We're Democrats on a plane


Lots of beer for everybody

We are the Democrat party

Nobody here has a mask on

Let's get the party started

We are getting drunk on power

Getting dumber by the hour

They're gonna arrest us when we get back

Our heads are full of clouds

Our critics are calling us clowns

This stunt was inane

We're drunken Dems on a plane


Some of us contacted Covid while in D.C.

We made fools of ourselves. It was easy peasy

Our party's mascot is the jack-ass

We are Democrats on a plane


(Repeat chorus)


We chartered the plane

Our stunt went down in flames

We are so lame

Special session. We lost the game

Democrats on a plane









Yakov Smirnoff Reports From The January 6th Kommission


This week, the Democrat-ran, Soviet-styled hearings into the riot on January 6th began with teary-eyed capitol cops testifying before the House Select Kommittee. Taking a break from his nightly stage show in Branson, Missouri is our correspondent, Yakov Smirnoff:

Wow, those pro-Trump Kossak insurrectionists have REALLY given those capitol police a severe case of Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder! Oh, and look! That kooky House Republican from Ohio Adam Kinzinger IS CRYING!!! DEAR GOD, THESE INSURRECTIONISTS MUST HAVE HAD AK-47'S AND MACHETES WHEN THEY STORMED THE PALACE!!!!

Nancy Pelosi and her fellow Democrat Bolsheviks are lucky to have survived the bloodbath of January 6th! What an insurrection! Heh, heh, heh......

No wonder the Democrat Bolsheviks are throwing supporters of 'Orange Man Bad' in prison! These enemies of the state are being kept in solitary confinement and TORTURED, then sent to the salt mines in Utah!

I understand that if you support 'Orange Man Bad' Biden's Secret Police and state-run media WILL come looking for you. I've heard about this Twitter Jail where they make you dissappear! What a tyrant!!

According to my sources, these domestic terrorists that made the police cry were waved into the ccapitol building and they TOOK SELFIES!!!! Oh, the HUMANITY!!!! There are 14,000 hours of security tape, but for some reason Nutty Nancy won't release them. The footage must be horrific!

Bug-eyed Representative Adam Schiff (who looks like he has seen a ghost) had Trump impeached TWICE without any evidence! Somehow, he doesn't appear to be all that trustworthy. I understand he wants to impeach 'Orange Man Bad' for a third time.......

Speaker Pelosi bounced 2 pro-Trump Republicans from this sham kommittee. Of course she did! She wanted a Soviet-styled show trial, and they would have spoiled her propaganda narrative.

Oh, will you look at that?! Republican Representative Adam Kinzinger is STILL CRYING. Will somebody give him a Kleenix?!

They say that the insurrection of January 6th makes The Civil War look like a picnic in the park.  Are the Democrat Bolsheviks planning mass executions for these pro-Trump RIOTERS? What an insurrection!!!!

This is Yakov Smrnoff reporting from highly confusing JSoviet-styled January 6th Kommition. So long!

  





Wednesday, July 21, 2021

SONG PARODY ALERT!--------->Bocephus Sings The New 'Boycott The NFL Theme Song'


The NFL has issued a statement that before each game this upcoming season they will televise the National Anthem AND The 'Black National Anthem'

Upon hearing this, football fan and patriotic country music legend Hank Williams Jr. re-wrote his Monday Night Football themesong:



Well, it's Monday night

and I'm here on strike

The NFL has gone woke, so they can go fly a kite

Americans are pissed, so their ratings are down

My rowdy friends are boycotting all over town

I'd rather watch the UFC fights

I'm not watching The NFL on Monday night


Are you ready for a boycott?

All you former Monday Night Football fans

Have you had enough of these overpaid, woke jocks

kneeling on the sideline?

This Monday I'm doing something else out of spite

I won't be watching the NFL on Monday Night


Are you ready?

 to say 'to Hell with professional football'?

I've thrown my jersey in the fireplace

There is only one National Anthem

All you overpaid jerks can go fly a kite

I'm not watching the NFL on Monday night


Friday, July 16, 2021

QVC: We're Selling Hunter Biden Works Of Art


Hello, America, Welcome to QVC! Today we are very excited to offer ORIGINAL ARTWORK from The Hunter Biden Coillection!

I didn't even know that President Biden had a son who is ALSO A VERY FAMOUS ARTIST! I understand that he has a famous laptop with some extremely interesting 'art' on it.

When you purchase this art, you will also 'have dinner at The White House', where you will get to meet 'The Big Guy'!



Oooooooh! That sounds like fun! Our first piece of original Hunter Biden art is this beautiful, completely original painting! Just look at those beautiful big, expressive eyes! I understand that Hunter Biden worked on this piece for almost 3 years! 

This piece is worth $12 million, but today on QVC you can have this wonderful painting for.....................$10 million!!!!! Plus you get face time with 'The Big Guy' at The White House!

Who knows? Maybe he can get you on the corporate board at a Ukranian natural gas corporation! This painting could make you rich! You don't have to know anything about running a corporation OR natural gas! Just call our operator if you have $10 million laying around.

Next, on QVC:



LOOK AT THIS MASTERPIECE!!! This is a variation on that very famous painting Campbell's Soup Can by Andy Warhol. Here, Hunter Biden replicated a Campbell soup label and stretched it expertly AROUND a tin can!!! Here's a shocking twist! There's a surprise inside this piece of art!!!

This piece would cost $14,000,000 if you purchaced it at an art gallery OR MUSEUM, but today you can have it for an incredible......$7,500,000 here on QVC!!!! On top of this artwork, you also get to visit The White House!



Our third piece of Hunter Biden artwork is entitled 'Laundering'! Here, the great artist paints a BORAX  label directly onto a large box. Usually, this wonderful peice sells for $5,000,000, but today on QVC, YOU CAN HAVE IT FOR $4,750,000!!!

IT'S A STEAL!!!! You can only get these wonderful works of art AT THESE PRICES on QVC!



Joe Biden Spoke On Tuesday


The senile crook living in the White House spoke on Tuesday:


Those insurrectionists who invaded the U.S. Capitol on January 6 nearly destroyed the United States of America! They pose a much larger danger to America than Confederate soldiers did during The Civil War!

These evil conservatives who dared to trespass OUR house POSED a greater threat to the security of the WORLD than NAZI concentration camp guards! General Milley is RIGHT! Conservatives are COMING FOR YOUR CHILDREN! THEY'RE COMING FOR YOUR ELDERLY!!!!!

January 6 was a much darker day than anything America experienced during the Civil War! Only 500,000 American soldiers died during the war between the North and the South, but on January 6, insurrectionists took selfies at the Capitol building!!!!

But don't worry, America! Joe has thrown these insurrectionists in prison, and we're thinking about pressing possible charges against these pro-Trump protesters. We got them in solitary confinement, and they're being tortured for their own good.

We saved America from Ashli Babbitt. One of my Capitol cops shot her to death as she was trespassing into the Capitol building. 

Yet, there are STILL those who dare to doubt the legitimacy of the election. We must CRACK DOWN on these election deniers, using all the brain-washing weapons at our disposal! Those auditing the election in Maricopa County should BE ARRESTED FOR TREASON!!!!

I'M GOING COO-COO FOR COCOA PUFFS!!!!!!!!!!!!

My regime is working closely with hi-tech giants to censure misinformation, whether it be anti-Biden propaganda or those spreading Covid 19 lies. We're toying with the idea of arresting ANYONE attending racist, pro-Trump rallies. We're going after these weirdos like America went after The KKK!

The American People are waiting for me to make some comment concerning the recent developments in Cuba. Why should I speak ill of the Coomunist regime who imprisons their opponents when I DO THE SAME THING TO PRO-TRUMP PROTESTERS? Heck, I might just send a trillion dollars to the Communists. My Press Secretary Jen Psaki walks around with a little pink hat with a hammer and sickle on it.

What Jill? It's time for my nap? I better end this speech before I get in trouble......




Michael Avenatti Sentenced To 30 Months In Prison


Last week, the man who terrifies Donald Trump the most,

who was going to bring the president down,

future host of his own news program on CNN, 

feared leftist bully adored by CNN hosts and breathless hostesses,

possible Democrat presidential candidate,

high-powered super-lawyer,

Democrat superstar, super celebrity legal analyst............

...........was sentenced to 30 months in Federal prison for attempting to extort Nike....




Wednesday, July 7, 2021

SONG PARODY ALERT! PINK FLOYD'S ANTI-ZUCKERBERG SONG


It appears that Mark Zuckerberg asked former Pink Floyd frontman Roger Waters if Facebook/ Instigram could use thier huge #1 hit 'Another Brick In The Wall,Part 2' and Mr. Waters didn't respond as Zuckerberg hoped.

Maybe Waters can use this as an inspiration for his next concept album:

 

We don't need no leftist fact checkers

We don't need no thought control

No Mark Zuckerberg or Twitter boardroom

You control freak sell-outs better leave us alone

Hey! You! Leave us all alone!

All in all you're just leftist bullies in the hall

All in all you're just leftist bullies in the hall.