Our Expert, Professor Walter Turgeson, Comments On The Anti-I.C.E. ''Protests''

 

Our resident expert on Everything, History Professor Walter Turgeson, returns from  his sabbatical to comment on the anti-I.C.E. ''protests'':

Thanks Red.

I am seeing on Twitter and the evening news a lot of people protesting federal agents of Immigration and Customs Enforcement. If you ask the protestors, they will say that they are protesting the ''kidnapping'' of our ''neighbors''.

Are they right? That's the POPULAR viewpoint for some, but I'VE HAD NEIGHBORS HARMED BY THESE VIOLENT THIRD-WORLD ILLEGAL ALIEN ASSHOLES. WHAT ABOUT THE YOUNG GIRLS HURT AND EVEN K...... BY THESE PSYCHOTIC ANIMALS????!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

EVIL CORRUPTOCRATS LIKE THAT LEFTIST KNUCKLEHEAD TIMMY WALZ WANT TO DISTRACT US ALL AWAY FROM THEIR RAMPANT CRIMINALITY  BY SENDING THESE UNHINGED, DEMENTED AWFLS, AND EVEN GOVERNMENT SCREWLS ARE TAKING THE KIDS OUT OF CLASS TO PROTEST OUR HARD-WORKING FEDERAL LAW AGENTS!!!!

AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

THE GOVERNMENT SCHOOLS HAVE REPLACED READING AND WRITING WITH COMMIE-REVOLUTION AND RIOTING. NO WONDER OUR KIDS ARE SCREWED UP!!!!!!!!

PRESIDENT TRUMP WANTS THE GOVERNMENT TO PROTECT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. WHILE THE DAMN COMMUNIST DEMOCRATS WON'T EVEN STAND UP FOR US!!!! THEY'RE TOO BUSY GRIFTING AND DEFRAUDING THE TAXPAYERS!!!! THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. IT'S JUST LIKE THE OLD ROLLING STONE SONG SAYS ''ALL THE COPS ARE CRIMINALS AND ALL THE CRIMINALS, SAINTS!!!!''

THE DEMOCRATS ARE AMERICA-HATING, CORRUPT, COMMIE JERK-OFFS!!!! SAY IT!!!! SAYYYYY IT!!!!

Here's Some Drawings By Joe The Cartoonist

 It's been about 15 years since I showed some of my drawings. Enjoy:

''This Means War''

I was probably vegging out and listening to Nirvana....

I thought it would be cool if ''The Thing''(1982) starred Alice Cooper.

''Cosmic Roadkill''

Eric Cartman Reports from Tuesday Night's State Of The Union Address

On Tuesday, President Trump delivered his State of the Union Address. Here to comment on the speech is our cub correspondent, Eric Cartman:

I am happy to report that the state of the union IS KICKING ASS!!!!

Our AWESOME President addressed Inflation (The homo COMMIE LEFTISTS call it ''AFFORDABILITY'' and deporting ILLEGAL ALIENS. ILLEGAL ALIENS PISS ME OFF!!! He ALSO awarded some people medals, and that was KEWL!!!

At the beginning of the SOTU, THE GEICO CAVEMAN (Texas Rep. Al Green) STARTED YELLING LIKE AN ASSHOLE, and he was taken out. I sure hope he gets psychiatric help for that TDS. It must be hard for a DEMOCRAT caveman to cope in the modern age

THAT ROTTEN, Somali CORRUPTOCRAT Ilhan Omar started FLIPPING OUT and flapping her yap. I wish that Trump would have announced her deportation In fact, I wish some I.C.E. agents would've showed up to arrest her and that ugly, obnoxious MOHAMMADON Rashida Tlaib. YOU WILL RESPECT I.C.E. AUTHORITAH, AND YOU WILL RESPECT THE PRESIDENT'S AUTHORITAH!!!!

Us Normal Americans like Trump because he's deporting illegal aliens,. Many of them are violent lunatics, rapists, murderers, human traffickers, and drug dealers. Of course, the CORRUPT communist-democrats send their protestors to harass and assault our I.C.E. agents. I'm sure that we have video, and hopefully The F.B.I. will be paying these haters a visit.

The demonrats need illegal aliens and third-world criminal voters because Normal Americans will not vote for these corrupt, looney douches.

Real Americans loved it when our GOLD-MEDAL HOCKEY TEAM SHOWED UP. I was wondering why the democrats wouldn't even stand for our hockey team. Did somebody break their legs?

In the corrupt, America-hating government schools, we see green-haired, commie looneybirds take their students OUT OF CLASS to protest I.C.E. They have replaced reading and writing with revolution and rioting. We will defund these failing, rotting government schools and reward the good schools. 

The idiotic, hateful democrats didn't even stand when President Trump asked if everyone would agree that the government's most important job is protecting The American People. Even an 8-year-old like me knows THAT! The dems must think that their most important job is defrauding the taxpayers. 

Corrupt assholes.

Trump also asked Congress to pass THE SAVE ACT. Democrats are against it because they have to CHEAT to win elections. CHEATERS!!!! Trump honored ANGEL FAMILIES  (families hurt by violent, third-world ILLEGAL ALIENS. The Republicans stood for the victims, while the DEMONIC Dems sat on their fat duffs. Damn, they PISS ME OFF!!!!

When Trump mentioned ''INSIDER TRADING'' Nutty Nancy Pelosi almost choked on her dentures.Well, that's it from The Trump State of the Union. Back to you, RED......

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HEADLINE: U.S.A. HOCKEY TEAM WINS GOLD (JOYLESS, LEFTIST KILLJOYS HARDEST HIT)

 

We Polled 5,000 Public School Students, And Asked Them To Rank The Presidents

It was President's Day on Monday, and we decided to ask 5,000 High School students currently enrolled in government schools across the country to rank the presidents. Most of theese scholars were busy  outside protesting federal I.C.E. agents, but eventually they returned to class and took this poll.

Here's the results:

1. The greatest President EVER is Barack Hussein Obama because he was our First Black President and because our green-haired teacher(s) told us he was.

2. Alexander Hamilton (never a president) was ranked #2. Actually the original star in the Broadway musical Lin Manuel Miranda was ranked the second-greatest president.

3. George Washington was ranked at number 3. Father of the Country. First in war, first in peace, and LAST PLACE IN THE EASTERN CONFERENCE. He could not be allowed to be #1 because of White privilege.

4. Alexandria Bernie Sanders Ocasio-Cortez. (Never a president) Our green-haired teacher's favorite president. From what we heard, this non-president was A BIG supporter of Socialism and Drag Queen Story Hour.

5. Bill Clinton. Nearly ALL of the students polled could only name 5 or 6 presidents.

6. Frankin Delano Roosevelt. He saved the country from The Great Depression and THE DONALD TRUMP NAZIS.

7, Abraham Lincoln. The Civil War Guy with the Big Hat. He freed the slaves, and that was a big deal.

8. Ronald Reagan. He polled well with Republican students who were immediately expelled when their green-haired teachers found out some of the students had the nerve of ranking A REPUBLICAN in the top 10.

9.. Jimmy Carter. Nobody knows ANYTHING about him, but he has a nice smile.

10.. Joe Biden. He saved our climate from climate change.

11, Richard Nixon. He said he  ''wasn't a crook.''

12-45. We know NOTHING about these guys. Many of the students polled thought that Oprah Winfrey was once a president.

46-47. The WORST President in the poll was current President Donald Trump because he's a NAZI and throws undocumented immigrants out of the country. Nearly ALL of the government school students polled were protesting HIS I.C.E. GESTAPO. HE'S AN ORANGED-HAIRED MEANY AND THEY HATE HIM ON THE VIEW, CNN, AND MSNBC!!!!!

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, OUR GREEN-HAIRED TEACHERS HATE HIM!!!!!

THE COMMUNIST-DEMOCRAT MANIFESTO

1. Everything we IMMORAL, CORRUPT, COMMUNIST-Democrats APPROVE OF must be made mandatory, and EVERYTHING WE COMMUNIST-DEMOCRATS DON'T APPROVE OF must be made illegal.

2. WE Democrats do not approve of THE DEATH PENALTY, except for INNOCENT, UNBORN BABIES.

3. WHEN IT COMES TO WINNING ELECTIONS, THE ENDS JUSTIFIES THE MEANS!!!

4. There is NOTHING WRONG with accusing our enemies of what WE'RE GUILTY OF.

5. We call our opponents NAZIs, so that justifies us threatening and persecuting them.

6. WE ARE COMMUNIST-DEMOCRATS, SO NONE YOUR SILLY LITTLE LAWS APPLY TO US!!! WE WERE BORN TO RULE OVER OUR ENEMIES

7. We shall use our government positions to REWARD our CORRUPT SUPPORTERS, AND our CORRUPT SUPPORTERS SHALL REWARD US WITH FRAUD, GRAFT, AND MONEY LAUNDERING.

8. It is not CHILD MUTILATION!!!! It is GENDER AFFIRMATION!!!! SCREWING WITH THE LANGUAGE IS HOW WE WIN!!!!

9. We (as well as our voters) would rather rule over ashes THAN ALLOW OUR ENEMIES TO GOVERN!!! It is better to be ruled by third-world criminals, MOHAMMADONS, and violent illegal aliens than a REPUBLICAN!!!!

10. We COMMUNIST-DEMOCRATS believe in PERSECUTING CHRISTIANS AND SHOVING ISLAM DOWN YOUR THROAT!

Ralph Wiggum: Let's Protest I.C.E.!!!

In communist-leftist government schools across the country, the ''teachers'' are leading their students in protests against Immigration Customs Enforcement agents. They've replaced reading and writing with revolution and rioting.

Here to comment on this is 8-year-old student Ralph Wiggum:

Woo-Hoo!!! Melt the I.C.E.!!!! Oh-no!!! I just glued my ear to my shoulder!!!

Me and my fellow students are walking out of class because my teacher has green hair and hates The President!!!! Super-Ninendo Intendent Chombers and the teachers are printing protest signs for us because nobody knows how to spell.

Nelson Muntz is going to jail because he threw a bottle rocket at the I.C.E. agents. Don't worry, all the local judges are from Minneapolis!

In class we learned that I.C.E. agents are NAZIs!, and our teacher teached us that we better stop them before they send us all to concentration camps! The I.C.E. agents tell us they are going after murderers, rapists, and drug dealers. I don't take drugs but I do eat Play-Doh sometimes.

I like protesting because i hate taking tests....or being called on. The other kids laugh at me a lot. When I don't know the answer I just glue my lips together until one of the smart kids raises their hand.

Our teachers teach us to hate I.C.E. When I see someone who looks like I.C.E., I blow my whistle and scream ''I.C.E. STRANGER DANGER!!!!''

We see a lot of old people protesting too. It looks like they must have been held back at least 40 or 50 years. They must go to one of those ''special schools.''

Oh, CRAP.....I just glued my eyelids together!!!