A Malcolm Spottswoode Commentary: ''' War In Iran.......F -- YEAH!!!''

 

On February 28, American and Israeli military forces began OPERATION EPIC FURY, bombing Iranian government buildings and disabling their military infrastructure. While many happy Iranians living in America AND IRAN danced in the streets in jubilation, angry critics of The Trump Administration suggest The President be impeached.

Our military correspondent AND Director of Team America: World Police, Malcolm Spottswoode, shares his thoughts on this military operation:

To all pro-American Patriots and our brave warriors, I salute you and invite you to Team America Headquarters for Briefings and Cocktails. To all you who oppose this war I say you're all America-hating, butt-f........ traitors!!!!!

I am exceedingly proud of our Team America--World Police for joining in the fight (in a supporting role). Team America----''F'' YEAH!

Secretary of Kick-Ass Pete Hegseth said that we will pound the Iranian military without mercy until they submit. I couldn't have said it better!!!! Our warriors bombed The Iraniian Air Force into the dust and their Navy lays with the dead fishes!! We are wiping those towelheads out, while Some worthless Democrat crapweasels in Congress want to IMPEACH PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR DOING WHAT SHOULD'VE BEEN DONE 45 YEARS AGO. 

I'm just surprised that The Film Actor's Guild hasn't tried to join the war on the side of those Iranian Shiite-Heads. Right now, we have actors Mel Gibson and Sylvester Stallone undercover in Tehran, Iran's capitol doing incredible work.

Tehran is approximately 6,300 to 6,337 miles east of Washington D.C.

The evil mohammadon Mullahs should have been wiped off the face of the Earth 45 years ago! Our people bombed the Hell out of The Iranian Capitol Building on BacaLacaDaca Street, and it was there that The Ayatollah Supreme douchebag Ali Khameini was sent to his eternal reward. 

The cross-dressing generals of the Biden Administration would NEVER have gotten this important job done!! They were too busy giving themselves medals for applying make-up and getting runs in their panty hose!

Our Secretary of DO-THIS-OR-ELSE, Marco Rubio told the Iranian Shiite-Terrorist Mullahs to stop their nuclear blackmail and join the international community or they will be sent to eternal damnation.

The only misstep in this important operation thus far was when I mistakenly sent Our World Police to Paris and our people accidently leveled The Eiffle Tower, The French were angry, but did you see all the happy Persian Babes taking off their burkas and dancing?  Soon, we will be seeing Kid Rock and Ted Nugent concerts in downtown Tehran!

To the people in The Middle East I say America wants to be your FRIEND, BUT DON'T THREATEN AMERICA WITH WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. TO ALL YOU TERRORISTS CREEPS WE AMERICANS SAY THIS---SUCK OUR B....S!!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA!! ''F'' YEAH!!!!

Malcolm F. Spottswoode, Director of Team America--World Police

''OH, AND ANOTHER THING......'':Profesoor Walter Turgeson Comments On The War In Iran

Our resident expert on Everything, Professor Walter Turgeson,would also like to comment on the War Aganst The Iranian Mullahcracy:

Oh, and ANOTHER THING......

Thank GOD for President Trump and The Secretary of Def----I mean, WAR, Pete Hegseth for bombing the THE SIIIITE OUT OF 7TH CENTURY TERRORIST MOHAMMADONS, SENDING Ayatollah Ali Khameini AND HIS TOWELHEAD mullah friends to THEIR 72 virgins!! 

For 47 years OUR SO-CALLED LEADERS ACTED LIKE PUSSY WIMPS, ALLOWING THE SPONSORS OF WORLDWIDE TERRORISM TO PUSH US AROUND!!!  

AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (The Professor rips the top of a classroom desk and throws it across the room.)

A week before the bombing started, The Ayatollah insulted President Trump on Twitter/X. I like Trump's answer. GOOOOOOD ANSWER!!!

Now, we and our Israeli friends are POUNDING THE HELL out of the mohammadon Islamic tyranny's MILITARY INFRASTRUCTURE and we won't stop until these towelheads SURRENDER!!!

HEY TOWELHEADS, SAY UNCLE SAM!!!!!SAY IT.......SAAAAY IT!!!!

There are commie douchebags here in America actually protesting and carrying signs FOR THE AYATOLLAH!!!! THESE COMMIE LUNATICS SHOULD BE DEPORTED,!!!! WE SHOULD TRADE THESE AMERICA-HATING BRATS FOR THE HAPPY PERSIAN HOTTIES DANCING HAPPILY AND TAKING OFF THEIR GARBAGE BAG BURKAS!!!

Well, that's my time. I am Professor Walter Turgeson, and class is in session. Good Night.

Our Expert, Professor Walter Turgeson, Comments On The Anti-I.C.E. ''Protests''

 

Our resident expert on Everything, History Professor Walter Turgeson, returns from  his sabbatical to comment on the anti-I.C.E. ''protests'':

Thanks Red.

I am seeing on Twitter and the evening news a lot of people protesting federal agents of Immigration and Customs Enforcement. If you ask the protestors, they will say that they are protesting the ''kidnapping'' of our ''neighbors''.

Are they right? That's the POPULAR viewpoint for some, but I'VE HAD NEIGHBORS HARMED BY THESE VIOLENT THIRD-WORLD ILLEGAL ALIEN ASSHOLES. WHAT ABOUT THE YOUNG GIRLS HURT AND EVEN K...... BY THESE PSYCHOTIC ANIMALS????!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

EVIL CORRUPTOCRATS LIKE THAT LEFTIST KNUCKLEHEAD TIMMY WALZ WANT TO DISTRACT US ALL AWAY FROM THEIR RAMPANT CRIMINALITY  BY SENDING THESE UNHINGED, DEMENTED AWFLS, AND EVEN GOVERNMENT SCREWLS ARE TAKING THE KIDS OUT OF CLASS TO PROTEST OUR HARD-WORKING FEDERAL LAW AGENTS!!!!

AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

THE GOVERNMENT SCHOOLS HAVE REPLACED READING AND WRITING WITH COMMIE-REVOLUTION AND RIOTING. NO WONDER OUR KIDS ARE SCREWED UP!!!!!!!!

PRESIDENT TRUMP WANTS THE GOVERNMENT TO PROTECT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. WHILE THE DAMN COMMUNIST DEMOCRATS WON'T EVEN STAND UP FOR US!!!! THEY'RE TOO BUSY GRIFTING AND DEFRAUDING THE TAXPAYERS!!!! THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. IT'S JUST LIKE THE OLD ROLLING STONE SONG SAYS ''ALL THE COPS ARE CRIMINALS AND ALL THE CRIMINALS, SAINTS!!!!''

THE DEMOCRATS ARE AMERICA-HATING, CORRUPT, COMMIE JERK-OFFS!!!! SAY IT!!!! SAYYYYY IT!!!!

Here's Some Drawings By Joe The Cartoonist

 It's been about 15 years since I showed some of my drawings. Enjoy:

''This Means War''

I was probably vegging out and listening to Nirvana....

I thought it would be cool if ''The Thing''(1982) starred Alice Cooper.

''Cosmic Roadkill''

Eric Cartman Reports from Tuesday Night's State Of The Union Address

On Tuesday, President Trump delivered his State of the Union Address. Here to comment on the speech is our cub correspondent, Eric Cartman:

I am happy to report that the state of the union IS KICKING ASS!!!!

Our AWESOME President addressed Inflation (The homo COMMIE LEFTISTS call it ''AFFORDABILITY'' and deporting ILLEGAL ALIENS. ILLEGAL ALIENS PISS ME OFF!!! He ALSO awarded some people medals, and that was KEWL!!!

At the beginning of the SOTU, THE GEICO CAVEMAN (Texas Rep. Al Green) STARTED YELLING LIKE AN ASSHOLE, and he was taken out. I sure hope he gets psychiatric help for that TDS. It must be hard for a DEMOCRAT caveman to cope in the modern age

THAT ROTTEN, Somali CORRUPTOCRAT Ilhan Omar started FLIPPING OUT and flapping her yap. I wish that Trump would have announced her deportation In fact, I wish some I.C.E. agents would've showed up to arrest her and that ugly, obnoxious MOHAMMADON Rashida Tlaib. YOU WILL RESPECT I.C.E. AUTHORITAH, AND YOU WILL RESPECT THE PRESIDENT'S AUTHORITAH!!!!

Us Normal Americans like Trump because he's deporting illegal aliens,. Many of them are violent lunatics, rapists, murderers, human traffickers, and drug dealers. Of course, the CORRUPT communist-democrats send their protestors to harass and assault our I.C.E. agents. I'm sure that we have video, and hopefully The F.B.I. will be paying these haters a visit.

The demonrats need illegal aliens and third-world criminal voters because Normal Americans will not vote for these corrupt, looney douches.

Real Americans loved it when our GOLD-MEDAL HOCKEY TEAM SHOWED UP. I was wondering why the democrats wouldn't even stand for our hockey team. Did somebody break their legs?

In the corrupt, America-hating government schools, we see green-haired, commie looneybirds take their students OUT OF CLASS to protest I.C.E. They have replaced reading and writing with revolution and rioting. We will defund these failing, rotting government schools and reward the good schools. 

The idiotic, hateful democrats didn't even stand when President Trump asked if everyone would agree that the government's most important job is protecting The American People. Even an 8-year-old like me knows THAT! The dems must think that their most important job is defrauding the taxpayers. 

Corrupt assholes.

Trump also asked Congress to pass THE SAVE ACT. Democrats are against it because they have to CHEAT to win elections. CHEATERS!!!! Trump honored ANGEL FAMILIES  (families hurt by violent, third-world ILLEGAL ALIENS. The Republicans stood for the victims, while the DEMONIC Dems sat on their fat duffs. Damn, they PISS ME OFF!!!!

When Trump mentioned ''INSIDER TRADING'' Nutty Nancy Pelosi almost choked on her dentures.Well, that's it from The Trump State of the Union. Back to you, RED......

.

HEADLINE: U.S.A. HOCKEY TEAM WINS GOLD (JOYLESS, LEFTIST KILLJOYS HARDEST HIT)

 

We Polled 5,000 Public School Students, And Asked Them To Rank The Presidents

It was President's Day on Monday, and we decided to ask 5,000 High School students currently enrolled in government schools across the country to rank the presidents. Most of theese scholars were busy  outside protesting federal I.C.E. agents, but eventually they returned to class and took this poll.

Here's the results:

1. The greatest President EVER is Barack Hussein Obama because he was our First Black President and because our green-haired teacher(s) told us he was.

2. Alexander Hamilton (never a president) was ranked #2. Actually the original star in the Broadway musical Lin Manuel Miranda was ranked the second-greatest president.

3. George Washington was ranked at number 3. Father of the Country. First in war, first in peace, and LAST PLACE IN THE EASTERN CONFERENCE. He could not be allowed to be #1 because of White privilege.

4. Alexandria Bernie Sanders Ocasio-Cortez. (Never a president) Our green-haired teacher's favorite president. From what we heard, this non-president was A BIG supporter of Socialism and Drag Queen Story Hour.

5. Bill Clinton. Nearly ALL of the students polled could only name 5 or 6 presidents.

6. Frankin Delano Roosevelt. He saved the country from The Great Depression and THE DONALD TRUMP NAZIS.

7, Abraham Lincoln. The Civil War Guy with the Big Hat. He freed the slaves, and that was a big deal.

8. Ronald Reagan. He polled well with Republican students who were immediately expelled when their green-haired teachers found out some of the students had the nerve of ranking A REPUBLICAN in the top 10.

9.. Jimmy Carter. Nobody knows ANYTHING about him, but he has a nice smile.

10.. Joe Biden. He saved our climate from climate change.

11, Richard Nixon. He said he  ''wasn't a crook.''

12-45. We know NOTHING about these guys. Many of the students polled thought that Oprah Winfrey was once a president.

46-47. The WORST President in the poll was current President Donald Trump because he's a NAZI and throws undocumented immigrants out of the country. Nearly ALL of the government school students polled were protesting HIS I.C.E. GESTAPO. HE'S AN ORANGED-HAIRED MEANY AND THEY HATE HIM ON THE VIEW, CNN, AND MSNBC!!!!!

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, OUR GREEN-HAIRED TEACHERS HATE HIM!!!!!