Hank Hill: I Am Voting For Ken Paxton. That Liberal Giblet Head James Talarico Just Ain't Right!

We welcome All-American Dad Hank Hill to comment on The 2026 Texas Senate race:

Thank you. My name is Hank Hill. I am a resident of the town of Arlen. I work for Strickland Propane where we sell Propane and Propane accesories. I am a proud Texan, and I love my wife Peggy and The Dallas Cowboys.

My boy Bobby attends Thomas Landrey Middle School, and I will be voting for Ken Paxton.

His opponent is a weirdo named James Talarico. This blasphemous giblet head calls himself ''a Christian'', but says there are many routes to heaven. He believes in some ''non-binary'' God, and that athiests are the best Christians.

I will be voting for Republican Ken Paxton because I don't want my boy to be indoctrinated by a bunch of communist heathens or be forced to pray on a mat like some kind of Mohammadon.

My wife Peggy is The Arlen ''High School Subsitute Teacher of the Year'', and we can't stand these communist weirdos trying to dumb down our schools. My neighbor Dale Gribble thinks that Satan-worshippers and Islamo-fascists have taken over the government schools. For once, I think he might be right. Those freaky drag queens are terrifying. They look like Satan Clowns.

That liberal twig-boyJames Tala-freako insults football fans and Normal-Americans who eat beef, and he looks like a ventriloquist dummy. I think he'd fit right in one of those high-crime; low-testosterone states like New York City or San Francisco I tell you WHAT!

On November 3, I'm taking my buddies Boomhauer and Bill to the polls and pulling the lever for Ken Paxton as our next Senator of the Lone Star state of Texas! Thank You.

AND NOW, A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: HOW TO NOT GET SHOT BY AN I.C.E. AGENT

 

DON'T TRY TO RUN I.C.E. AGENT(S) OVER!!! THAT INCLUDES EVERYONE, EVEN ALL YOU WHITE WOMEN!

HEADLINE: SOMALI GANGS ''CULTURALLY ENRICH'' MINNESOTA HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL HOMECOMING GAME

In Minnesota High School Football, The Eden Prarie High School Homecoming football game with Minnetonka was interruptd by East African gangs SHOOTING AT EACH OTHER, and the game was cancelled. The gunfire caused a panic in the stands, as two East African scholars were injured with non-life threatening injuries,

We thank Former Presidents Clinton and Obama as well as The Lutheran Charities for sponsoring the halftime (?) show.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: THIS HALLOWEEN, GO AS PANDERING, BURQA-WEARING DEMOCRAT CANDIDATE PEGGY FLANAGAN

If you're looking for any Halloween costume ideas, how about trying on a hijab and burqa, and go trick-or-treating as ''PANDERING LEFTIST DEMOCRAT CANDIDATE PEGGY FLANAGAN?!!!

Or, go as your favorite Democrat candidates, New York Governor Kathy Hochul or even former Minneapolis Mayor Betsy Hodges! These Democrat politicians wear traditional Islamic garb while shamelessly pandering and begging for Muslim votes..

WARNING: BE CAREFUL. DO NOT CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN IN A MUSLIM NEIGHBORHOOD, NON-MUSLIM HOLIDAYS ARE CONSIDERED ''HARAM'', AND IF YOU VIOLATE SHARIA LAW. YOU MIGHT BE BURIED TO YOUR NECK AND STONED TO DEATH.... AND THAT WOULD RUIN YOUR HALLOWEEN FUN.

                                       Former Minneapolis Mayor Betsy Hodges

AND NOW, A MESSAGE FROM THE SUPREME LEADER OF IRAN

Dear American Democrat-Socialists,

Get out and vote and destory THE GREAT SATAN TRUMP AND  HEGSETH'S WAR-MONGERING REGIME AS WELL AS THAT FILTHY GENOCIDAL JEW NETANYAHU!!!!

A VOTE for El-Sayed and Flanagan and Talarico is A VOTE TO END THE REPUBLICAN MAJORITIES THAT THREATEN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! Our worldwide MOHAMMADON CALIPHATE DEPENDS ON YOU DEMOCRATS, SO GET OUT AND VOTE!!!

When you Democrat-Socialists take back the majorities in The House and The Senate, you protect our BASIC HUMAN rights to STONE WOMEN TO DEATH FOR SHOWING THEIR HAIR, to marry our 9-year old nieces, and to keep exporting terror around the world. Doesn't that SOUND NICE?

On November 3rd, VOTE FOR DSA ALL THE WAY!!! You can also vote early or ABSENTEE. In much of your country, you can also harvest votes. Also, don't let the racist Republicans stop you from voting if you're an undocumented immigrant!!!!

Your ''friends'' in Iran ENTHUSIASTICALLY SUPPORT THE DEMOCRATIC SOCIALISTS OF AMERICA, SO GET OUT AND VOTE!!!

WELCOME TO MINNESOTA. THIS IS THE D.F.L. PARTY

 

They Found More Writings Of Nostradamus

Michel de Nostredame, better know as Nostradamus, was a 16th century man famous for his predictions. He made cryptic forecasts relating to the rise of Hitler, the assassination of John F. Kennedy, and many other historical events. Recently, historians discovered even more writings near his childhood home, stashed in the wall of a local family's work shop. Here are some interesting findings:

We believe that this prediction was about Muslim internet  ''influencer'' Hasan Piker:

Hornets from Hell flew out of his Turkish beak

Born on third base, Influencer of Hate

A Grey-Coated one says ''The Towers deserved to FALL and BURN on 9 plus 10 plus 1!!!''

and the Mohammadons shall RULE the Earth so let it be done!!!!

We believe this prediction describes Kamala Harris's rise to power:

And the Great Whore arose off her knees, and climbed

the ranks of power

Laughing and Cackling like a Hyena

Speaking in word salads, Speaking Nonsense, a tower of Babel

Her campaign crashed and burned as Donald with Orange Hair returned

We're sure this prediction relates to the 2026 mid-term elections:

In the year 2000 plus 20 plus 6

young and envious foolish knaves full of envy and ignorant of history

chose chains of slavery under the mohammadon rule and

to make the streets run red with the blood of the rich 

And finally, a prediction relating to the Conflict with Iran:

The Orange-hair ruler attacked and

the mullahs saw fireballs fall from the sky

In Western Babylon, the first world cried and complained

about the AFFORDABILITY of petrol