No, You Haven't Missed The Rapture

You turn on the TV and it seems like everyone are demon-possessed Democrat zombies, and there is Representative Jamie Raskin or some other lunatic weasel SOCIALIST-Democrat telling everyone about their plans to persecute The Trump Administration, local Republicans, EVEN Elon Musk, and have all their opponents arrested, THEIR PROPERTY SEIZED, and thrown in jail. 

They're on every channel,. It looks like all these America-hating, newly-elected Democrats are from EVERY third-world hellhole. on the planet. They're ALL HERE! Their names is unpronouncable, and  most of them speak in a foreign accent. It looks and feels like everybody has turned into Walking Brain-Dead communist zombies.

Then, you go shopping, and there doesn't seem to be ANY AMERICANS ANYWHERE, and you ask yourself ''DID I MISS THE RAPTURE?'' Are there ANY AMERICANS LEFT ANYWHERE? If everything is so ''unaffordible'' how come all these poor ''immigrants'' are pushing their COMPLETELY FULL  grocery carts up and down the aisles? EBT? WHAT IS EBT???

Almost EVERYBODY in the grocery store is wearing a burqa! 

You turn on the T.V. and all you see on the local news are third-world corruptocrats, criminals, crooks, and creeps. and you see almost NOBODY of AMERICAN heritage ANYWHERE. The only SEEMINGLY, LEAST BIT AMERICAN people YOU SEE on the local news OR TIK-TOK are cross-dressers THREATENING THE LIVES OF ''NORMIES''and green-haired ''teachers.'' YOU WONDER IF YOU HAVE MISSED THE RAPTURE.

Does it seem like even members of your family have been infected by the leftist mind virus and you think they've been TURNED INTO THE WALKING BRAIN-DEAD, brainwashed by The View and NPR? 

I assure you, YOU HAVEN'T MISSED THE RAPTURE. NOT YET. It might or might not get better or worse.........PROBABLY WORSE.

NYC Communist Mohammadon Mayor Mamdani Cancels The 2026 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.....And ''Replaces'' It

Welcome to The 2026 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Oh, this just in.......The parade has been cancelled. In fact, Communist-Mohammadon Mayor Zohran Mamdani has cancelled Thanksgiving because it is a Christian holiday. The New York City Council has declared this holiday HARAM and that the city rulers have REPLACED THE AMERICAN TRADITIONAL HOLIDAY WITH ''SOMETHING ELSE''.

Here is Grand Marshall of the replacement ''parade'', Mayor Mamdani on a float with several EMPTY SHELVES in honor of his CITY-RUN GROCERY STORES SCHEDULED TO OPEN IN 2029.

Gone are the Snoopy, Garfield, Pikachu, and Kermit the Frog parade balloons. They've been replaced by morbidly obese Illinois Democrat Governor J.B. Pritzker.

Here comes the yellow and red Communist float of The S.D.A., The Socialist Democrats of America, complete with a huge hammer and sickle.

Here are about a thousand muslims praying in the middle of the street. They are blocking the rest of the ''parade''. Let's take a commercial break for our network sponsors.

They are still blocking the street, praying to their moon idol. There's a large number of U-haul vans honking their horns. WOW, Normal-Americans cannot wait to leave The Big Apple!

Oooooh, it looks like the replacement parade is starting to move down the street again. Here's a float for Macy's Department Store. Waitaminnut, it has a large ''GOING OUT OF BUSINESS'' sign!

Here comes The Columbia College float. Now the anti-Semitic college students are getting off and attacking the Jewish onlookers. Where are the police?

Here's the float for CORRUPT NEW YORK STATE ATTORNEY GENERAL LETICIA JAMES. She must be searching for any Republicans to arrest here at the replacement parade. We understand she'll even prosecute anyone wearing a red tie.

Here comes the caravan of around 700 illegal aliens. There's lots of rapists and murderers marching down the street, and Mayor Mamdani will make sure they all vote in 2028 and recieve free healthcare and housing.

Here's the El-Sayed and Hasan Piker float. They're in a replica cardboard jumbo jet flying into The World Trade Center. What a couple of HATEFUL JACK-ASSES!!!

Next up, here comes the Democrat Party float with a dozen campaign workers stuffing ballot boxes.......

Here comes burning effegies of President Trump and Secretary of War Pete Hegseth, and will you look at that?! WE have some special guests. Here comes a float with LOCAL MEMBERS OF THE NYC CITY COUNCIL DRESSED UP AS IRANIAN MULLAH!!! THEY HAVE BILLHORNS. Let's listen in:

''DEATH TO AMERICA!!!! DEATH TO THE GREAT SATAN!!!!''

Next, we have a float commemorating SHARIA LAW. There's an adult male forcing an 8-year-old girl to marry him....There's women covered head to toe in what looks like black garbage bags coffled together like cattle.....There's an imam with a sign reading ''ALLAH HATES DOGS'' and another with a sign that reads ''RESPECT ISLAM: DON'T EAT BACON!!!'' SHEESH, what a bunch of fascist killjoys!!!

.....And bringing up the rear are scores of homeless drug addicts. They don't seem to know where they are. Some of them are on a float, throwing needles and candy laced with Fentanyl at the kids looking on.

NO!!!! DON'T PICK THAT UP!!!!!

Well, that's it from New York City. We'll be beck next year....MAYBE....SO LONG!!!

TOP TEN REASONS WHY COMMUNIIST-DEMOCRATS HATE SEC. OF WAR PETE HEGSETH AND WILL TRY TO IMPEACH HIM

 

The emboldened, America-hating Communist-Socialists running the Democrat party are making a lot of noise about impeaching Secretary of War Pete Hegseth (pictured). 

From the home office in Bovey, Minnesota, here are The Top Ten Reasons Why The Democrats Hate Secretary of War Pete Hegseth And Want Him Impeached And Removed:

10. because he replaced the trans-activists with warriors.

 9.  because recruitment numbers are way up and communist-Democrats want America to be demoralized and weakened.

 8.  because The Democrat ''leadership'' will NEVER forgive The Trump Administration for wiping out so many Iranian mullahs.

7.  because Democrats have a bug up their a.. about Hegseth hosting a show on FOXNEWS 

6.  because Pete Hegseth is a straight, white man

5.  because The Democrat-Socialists view him as an ''Islamophobe''

4.  because Hegseth led the effort against the Muduro regime, deposing the Venezuelan dictator-narco trafficker.

 3. The democrats are losing their sh.. because The Trump Administration are destroying the narco-terrorists in The Western Hemisphere

2. because the Democrats have no problem with The Iranian shiite cult threatening the world with nuclear weapons

1. because Democrats and Communists are assholes

Election 2026 Reminds Me Of One Of Those Rediculous Prescription Drug Commercials

This mid-term election reminds me of one of those drug prescription commercials where they promise to cure your minor ailment, then rattle off a long list of much more damaging side effects at the end:

Our new drug will cure your hangnail. (Possible side effects include liver damage, bleeding out your eyes, severe fatigue, probable colon cancer, intestinal bleeding and probable rupture of your pancreas, brain swelling and nose-bleeds, as well as myocarditas and explosive diarrhea).

SIMILARLY, some voters, angry about the price of gas, decided we are better off with 

wide-open borders, violent illegal migrants murdering and raping your family, men in girl's locker rooms, taxes through the roof, California's gas prices, massive fraud, money-laundering, mohammadons threatening to replace our Constitution with the horrors of sharia, psychotic leftist judges, military generals in drag, punishing high earners, abolishing I.C.E., bringing back taxes on overtime and tips, the return of corrupt ''non-profits'' like USAID, socialistic healthcare, and third world criminals stealing everything that isn't nailed down.............

Ralphie Wiggum: We Voters Are A National Security Threat!

We here at The RedSquirrel Report are seeking answers for the disasterous results on Election Night, and we thought that we would ask a regular American voter to tell us why America voted (or didn't vote) in the way they did: 

YOO-HOO!!! WE BEAT THOSE REPUBLICAN FASCISTS!!! NOW WE GET TO THROW THEM IN JAIL JUST FOR DARING TO OPPOSE US!!!! Oops, I just ate some glue..

I am so glad the Democrats won majorities in The House and The Senate The price of gas was way too high and that rotten President Trump STARTED THE WAR IN IRAN. We voted for OPEN BORDERS, DRAG QUEEN STORYTIME, AND MEN IN GIRL'S LOCKER ROOMS. We Democrats are INK CLUE SIVE!!!!

We voted FOR that nice Christian James Talarico and THAT NICE MUSLIM El-Sayed to The Senate! Soon, the streets will run red with the blood of greedy capitalists!!! HOORAY!!!!

In Minnesota, the voters elected a Somali being investigated for running a fraudulent day care center. I think it's wonderful that they're giving all the Somali criminals a second chance by electing them!!! They should put Somali  gangs in charge of law enforcement!!!

We re-elcted Ilhan Omar. It's nice that she loves her brother. OOPS, I JUST ATE MY PURPLE MARKER. IT TASTES LIKE GRAPE. It must be a tough job to represent HER DISTRICT IN MINNEDISHU SOMALISOTA!!!!

I understand that Wisconsin has about 5 million residents of voting age, but 7 million voters who voted on Tuesday night. Now THAT'S WHAT I CALL ''GETTING THE VOTE OUT!!!''

Maine voters finally voted that RIGHT-WING LUNATIC SUSAN COLLINS OUT OF OFFICE! I'm so glad!!!

ONE OF THE LESSONS OF THIS ELECTION IS THAT THE R... AND M........ OF AMERICAN WOMEN IS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY SO THAT VIOLENT UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS CAN STAY IN THIS COUNTRY AND VOTE AND GET TONS OF FREE STUFF!!!

I heard that they have two candidates with the same name in the Alaska Senate race. Wow, WHAT A COINCIDENCE!!!

In Los Angeles, One corrupt Female Black Communist defeated another corrupt Female Black Communist in the mayoral election. THREE CHEERS FOR DIVERSITY!!!

In CONFUSION, I am so glad that we have the majorities in The House and The Senate. Say goodbye to the war in Iran, and hello to OPEN BORDERS, INCREASED FRAUD AND MONEY LAUNDERING, MEN IN WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOMS, CIVILIAN DISARMAMENT, NON-STOP IMPEACHMENTS, AND POSSIBLE SHARIA!!!

Dang, I just glued my ear to my shoulder!!!

Country Superstar Ella Langley: ''After 25 Weeks At Number One, I Am So Sick Of That Dayam Song!!!'' (''Choosin Texas'')

Ella Langley, the newest queen of Country Music, has seen her megahit ''Choosin' Texas'' dominate The Billboard Top 100 Pop Chart, staying at number one for an unbelievable 25 non-consecutive weeks. 

''I am so sick of that dayam song!!! Hell, I understand that people were almost hanging themselves in 1978 when Pat Boone's daughter Debby had that song at number one for just TEN weeks! 'You Light Up My Life'' was a sweetie pie of a song, but I think the song became annoying because of it's own success.

The most successful SONG by the most successful POP group, THE BEATLES stayed at NUMBER ONE for ONLY 9 weeks. ''Hey Jude!!!!'' Hello????? Everyone still loves that song. My song BEATS ''Hey Jude'' by 16 weeks. Is my song THAT MUCH BETTER THAN ''HEY JUDE''? 

Don't misunderstand me, I like my song. I like singing it for my fans,  but does ANY SONG DESERVE TO STAY AT NUMBER ONE FOR OVER 25 WEEKS???? HELL NO!! 

I'm just a small town country girl. I like hanging out at the house watching my dog chase the BUNNIES around the backyard. I go deer hunting with my Dad. I DON'T NEED REPORTERS STICKING MICROPHONES IN MY FACE EVERYWHERE I GO, ASKING ABOUT MY SONG BEIN' AT NUMBER ONE FOR YET ANOTHER WEEK!

SOMEBODY!! ANYBODY!! KNOCK MY SONG OFF OF THE NUMBER ONE SPOT AN' KEEP IT OFF!!! THIS IS REDICULOUS!!! I'M HEARING THE SONG 9 OR 10 TIMES EVERY DAY ON THE DAYAM RADIO!''

(This is just a parody. Ms. Langley hasn't said this....to my knowledge,)

The Book Of James (Talarico): The Lone Star State Elects A Blasphemous Communist Weirdo

The biggest surprise on Tuesday night happened in Texas, as Republican Attorney General Ken Paxton LOST his U.S. SENATE RACE AGAINST BLASPHEMOUS, leftist weirdo JAMES TALARICO.

Let us turn to The Book of James (Talarico), and begin our reading of Chapter 9:

1. And in those days before election, The low-testosterone and blasphemous James had dissappeared for two weeks, and everyone wondered where he went. 2. Bur alas, on Election Day, and the votes were cast and counted, low-testosterone James (Talarico) won, shocking many. 3. The drag-queens, the abortionists, and the Christian haters rejoiced. 4. The illegal migrants, the leftists, the anti-Semites and the communists did too. 5. Also, the drug dealers and the human traffickers rejoiced because the border was opened wide.

6. The barbeque beef-eaters and the patriots stayed home, giving the democrats and the perverts the majority in The House and The Senate. 7. And everybody blamed President Trump,  the war in Iran and the price of gasoline. 8. And the democrats spent the next years impeaching the president and taxing the middle class.

The end.