The RedSquirrel Report
"Gathering Up, Feasting On, And Snickering At The World's Collective Nuttiness Since 2011"
Thursday, June 4, 2026
PARODY SONG ALERT: MARTINA MCBRIDE WON'T BE SINGING ''INDEPENDENCE DAY'' AT AMERICA'S 250 FREEDOM CELEBRATION
Country singer Martina McBride will not be singing her hit ''Independence Day'' at America's 250th Freedom Celebration event in Washington DC. The country singer sent out an Istagram and said she views the program as ''linked'' to President Trump, so she pulled out.
Some other artists, like Poison's Bret Michaels and The Commodors, also cancelled. Michaels said he feared for his safety.
Here she is to explain her decision not to sing at the Freedom event at The National Mall is the Country songstress:
Well, I sang at the Obama White House
but Trump has me feeling worried and weak
My fans expect me to sing at America's birthday
but I won't for those right-wing MAGA freaks
I got a call to come sing at The Mall
The show's been politicized and so I refuse to play
I will not sing for the ''Right-wing King''
I won't be singing Independence Day
If Reverend Al or one of his pals asked me
I would sing at Juneteenth instead
For BLM I would sing or ICE protests
but not a sea of hats MAGA red
You might think that I'm woke and you're starting to joke
because I decided not to play
You think I'm a fool just a Democrat tool
I won't be there to sing Independence Day
(Chorus)
No, I WON'T SING
for the Orange-haired king
I hope the country fans don't
hold it against me
I won't sing this song
Sing for the right-wing ding-dongs
NO to our National birthday
My band won't play
I won't sing Independence Day
I won't be there to sing at Trump's national state fair
I refuse to sing or to strum
You might think it's lame, so don't curse my name
because I will refuse to come
I won't sing for that right winger Trump
I don't care what you have to say
I will not put on a red MAGA hat
and I will not be singing ''Independence Day''
(Chorus)
No, I won't sing
for the Orange-haired king
I hope the country music fans
don't hold it against me
I will not sing my songs
for the right-wing ding-dongs
No, I will not play
My fans will be dismayed
I won't sing Independence Day
My fans will be deeply dismayed
I won't be singing Independence Day
I wish Trump would just go away
I'm not singing ''Independence Day''
Monday, June 1, 2026
TOP TEN WAYS MAINE DEMOCRAT SENATE CANDIDATE GRAHAM PLATNER CAN BE AN EVEN BIGGER ASSHOLE
Moderate Republican Senator Susan Collins is seeking her 6th term as the Senior Senator from the State of Maine. It looks like her Democrat opponent will be newcomer Graham Platner, who has a NAZI SS Totenkopf tattoo on his chest.
Apparently, a NAZI tattoo is not a deal breaker for many Maine Democrats. The former Marine also insults other veterans, including deceased American Sniper Chris Kyle. Socialist-Democrats Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders think he's a solid candidate.
iT LOOKS LIKE the state Democrat party cannot find another candidate WITHOUT a NAZI SS Totenkopf tattoo anywhere in Maine.
Does anyone know his thoughts on important issues like tax policy, the border, or how to improve the AFFORDABILITY of life for middle class Maine residents? It looks like The ONLY thing that matters to DEMOCRATS is 'HOW MUCH DO YOU HATE PRESIDENT TRUMP'?
Remember when 2025 when Virginia Democrat candidate Jay Jones WON after suggesting he would like to KILL his opponent and his family? I don't think his voters even CARED WHAT HE WOULD DO AFTER BEING elected Virginia's Attorney General. All that mattered to looney Democrat voters is that he is a HATEFUL, BOMB-THROWING ASSHOLE.
Is there enough Trump Derangement Syndrome CASES TO CARRY CANDIDATE GRAHAM PLATNER TO VICTORY in the state of MAINE? Maybe there are OTHER socially unacceptble things that he can STILL do to EXCITE MAINE'S batshit Democrat VOTERS.
From the home office in Bovey, Minnesota, HERE ARE THE TOP TEN WAYS GRAHAM PLATNER CAN BE AN EVEN BIGGER ASSHOLE, AND DRIVE THE DEMOCRAT MAINEIAC VOTER TURNOUT:
10. If The President gets a pet, Platner can have a photo taken of himself KICKING IT.
9. Spray paint ''ANTIFA'' all over The Lincoln Memorial.
8. Cover his NAZI tattoo with it with a tattoo of Hitler and the words ''Mein Fuhrer''
7. Write an op-ed ''Eisenhower Was A Shitty General''
6. Challenge Republican candidate Susan Collins to a boxing match.
5, Win ''The Biggest Douche In The Universe'' Pageant.
4. Affordability? Make Republicans pay for EVERYTHING!
3.. Convert to Islam, then pray in the middle of the street.
2, Renounce his American citizenship, move to Mexico, then move in with Rosie O'Donnell in Ireland, then reside in George Clooney's Italian villa, then move back to Mexico, then cross the border illegally again as an illegal alien, then recieve millions in Democrat graft, then move into a free luxury hotel room in a sanctuary city, then get free healthcare, then protest and riot against ICE agents. THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW HE'S BEING MISTREATED BY THE U.S. GOVERNMENT!!!!!!
1. Have a trophy made:
Sunday, May 31, 2026
This Is What The Democrats Tweeted On Memorial Day
Saturday, May 30, 2026
This Is Memorial Day In Minneapolis
Instead of honoring America's fallen heroes, disgraceful Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey spent Memorial Day pandering to his BLM (Burn Loot Murder) voter base. At his appearence ''honoring'' dead criminal George Floyd at 38th And Chicago (also known as ''George Floyd Square'), he didn't mention our fallen heroes or that Floyd died from Fentanyl poisoning,
instead, he condemned former cop Derek Chauvin. The former officer was railroaded by a corrupt Twin Cities court systen and convicted of murder by a jury intimidated by an angry mob.
Instead of honoring our sacred fallen soldiers who died defending our freedoms, the sacreliegious corruptocrat made a show of sucking up to the criminal, racially-obsessed Left.
Meanwhile, corrupt Governor Tim Walz was scheduled to speak at the yearly Fort Snelling Memorial Day ceremony, but INSTEAD chose to dance with ''George Floyd Memorial Day'' street partiers. After the dancing fool finished, a news camera heard him say ''Not bad for a old White guy.''
We get it, guys. You don't respect normal, everyday Americans, or the sacred memory of our fallen soldiers. You hate our traditions and make a big obnoxious production number of disrespecting us. You democrats have your racially-obsessed, foreign criminal voter base to pander to.
George Floyd died on Memorial Day 2020, and you've made him out to be our patron saint, savior, and god-like deity. There are George Floyd murals all over Minneapolis, and you expect everyone to kneel in The Church of George. You want your communist, criminal, illegal alien, hate-filled supporters to ''like you.''
You and your green-haired mob protest against America's heroes (as well as our federal law enforcement agents), and you all reward each other by defrauding the taxpayers. You need the local media to help distract the people from your non-stop criminal activities. To you, our fallen heroes are the enemy, and you believe they belong on the side of your enemy, President Trump.
George Floyd represents all the racially-obsessed criminal leftists that you shamelessly, obsessively suck up to. You craven leftists would gladly rule over the ashes of a city that you let be sacrificed on Memorial Day 2020.
Disgraceful.
Thursday, May 28, 2026
The First Chapter In The Book Of James (Talarico)
1. In the beginning, the non-binary god created all 6 genders. 2. The non-binary god blessed the sex change and the abortion. ''Let us kneel and may the taxpayers pray to Moloch and Baal'' . So sayeth the goofy Democrat prophet-politician James with low testosterone.
3. REJOICE!!! The non-binary Jesus blessed drag queen story hour, and blessed the faces painted with thick, bright paint. 4. For the prophet-politician James with low testosterone sayeth it was good.
5. While we abort our own babies, let us throw open our borders, and let hordes of hostile foreigners into the country, and let us give them free stuff. 6. Cursed be the republicans who refuse to be good hosts to our undocumented guests.
7. We shall teach the children to be desrespectful, and undermine the parents, for the state and government schools know best.
8. We will bear false witness against acquitted Candidate Paxton. And so, James with low testosterone made campaign ads. 9. Whoa unto you, you rotten Christian Nationalists. You believe in silly things like scripture, while WE follow our heart!
9. Let us say that men in women's sports is only a ''far-right conspiracy'', and that athiests are the REAL CHRISTIANS! 10. Cursed be unto you, for You refuse to give your oxen to your neighbor!!!
11. And the prophet-politician James (Talarico) with low testosterone supported the progressive agenda, and said , ''So shall it be done!''
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