Legendary Insult Comic Don Rickles Roasts ''Influencer'' Hasan Piker

 We here at The RedSquirrel Report are honored to welcome the legendary comedian and master of insult comedy, THE GREAT DON RICKLES. He wanted to deliver a message to leftist 'influencer'' Hasan Piker. 

Here he is, Mr. DON RICKLES!''

THE BAND PLAYS DON RICKLES' WALK-ON MUSIC, La Virgen De La Macarena AKA The Bullfighter Song 

Thanks, you RED HOCKEY PUCK.

First of all, I have a message to all the third-world, non English speaking voters and undocumented migrants out there.. '' KAMALAMALAMA LAKALABOOOOGIDDYBOOOOBITYBOOGITTY!!!!!''

To our Spanish-speaking friends, i say ''Si illegalo seniors and senoritas, ICE will be alongo soono. Just geto on the busso!''

Every time I see Hasan Piker I always WONDER (ten-second pause) HEY HOCKEY PUCK, ARE YOU WEARING A MASK? They call THIS DORK an ''influencer''. He influences me to THROW UP!!!

Hasan Piker said that America deserved to be attacked on 9/11.. i THINK PIKER SHOULD BE LOCKED IN A CAGE WITH  SEX-STARVED GORILLAS!!!

This hockey puck HASAN IS A BIG ADMIRER OF CHINESE COMMUNIST DICTATOR MAO ZEDONG WHO IS THE BIGGEST MASS MURDERER IN HUMAN HISTORY. SOMEBODY SEND THIS HATEFUL DOUCHE BACK TO THE 4TH GRADE!!!

THIS HATEFUL IDIOT SAYS HE WANTS THE STREETS TO RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF CAPITALISTS. HEY YA COMMUNIST LUNATIC, ANSWER THE DOOR. THE F.B.I. IS PAYING YOU A VISIT!!

AND FINALLY, GOD TOOK DOLLY PARTON AND LEFT THIS CREEP HASAN PIKER. (LOOKING UP) WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU HOCKEY PUCKS DOING UP THERE???!!!!

THAT'S IT. I'M OUT OF HERE!!! (Cue The Bullfighter music)

BRIAN STELTER: THE 1ST AMENDMENT GIVES CNN AND MS-NOW THE RIGHT TO SLANDER AND RELENTLESSLY ATTACK THE PRESIDENT

 

Last Friday, President Trump banned CNN, MS-NOW, and Politico from The White House over ''unfavorable coverage''. Recently, ABC NEWS had agreed to pay a $15 million defamation settlement to The Trump Presidential Library AND PARAMOUNT paid a $16 million settlement FROM misleading editing on a ''60 minutes'' story on The President.

Almost EVERYTHING the liberal mainstream news media says is false OR AT LEAST MISLEADING. Almost ALL of their reporting is negative, and they will not report ANYTHING POSITIVE regarding The President or his Administration.

They incessantly harp on the price of gas, but will not report on the record low poverty rate.

According to our D.C. source, The Administration believes that  CNN and MS-NOW don't really need access to The White House. They can just keep LYING and reporting ''FAKE NEWS'' without sending their correspondents to The White House Press Room.

Many on the left are accusing The President of VIOLATING the First Amendment rights of reporters to slander and relentlessly attack The President.

According to CNN's Chief Media Analyst Brian Stelter:

Thie First Amendment gives CNN and MS NOW and NBC and ABC NEWS and Politico and 60 Minutes the right TO SLANDER AND RELENTLESSLY ATTACK THIS NAZI DICTATOR. In the 1930's the horrors of NAZISM didn't START with the GAS CHAMBERS. Hitler started by banning the members of The Press FROM HIS DAILY PRESS CONFERENCES!

CNN, MS-NOW, and Politico, with the help of George Soros, USAID, and ACTBLUE  have announced a lawsuit against The Trump Administration. WE UNDERSTAND THE CASE WILL BE REFERRED TO AS:

''NATTERING NABOBS OF NEGATIVISM CNN, MS-NOW, AND POLITICO V. THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION''

We will keep you abreast on this important story.

Hunter S, Thompson's Fear And Loathing On The 2026 Campaign Trail

I wonder what the great gonzo journalist Humter S. Thompson would be saying right now if he had to cover the Democrats running for public office in 2026:

Dear Ralph,

THIS CAMPAIGN TRAIL is horrifying, with so many mohammadon swine and communists determined to put an end to our great republic, I really need to make sure I don't run out of my ''supplies''. I don't see myself making it through to Election Day.

There's not enough Wild Turkey and grapefruit in the world for this.

In a just world, this Wretched, filthy Mohammadon asshole El-Sayed would be DEPORTED. I covered his campaign and caught him lying from one end of Michigan to the other. One day he tells a communist muslim crowd that he WANTS TO make American FOOTBALL ILLEGAL WHILE french kissing that HATEFUL spincbter douche Hasan Piker. The next day he's telling a crowd at the University of Michigan that he scored 5 touchdowns in the 2014 Rose Bowl. All this Evil, dishonest creep does is pander. I think the term is ''TAQIYYA''.

Then, it was off to cover that corrupt Communist Harpy Peggy Flanagan. That vile, leftist weirdo is glasses-deep in all of the corruption in Somalisota, and most of The D.F.L. (Democrat-Fraudster-Liar) Party should be locked in prison for the next 20 years, Some asshole or group of assholes imported almost half of the population of Somalia, the place where our Blaxk Hawk soldiers were murdered and dragged around. That's the thanks we get for keeping these light bulb-headed savages from starvation. 

Now, they do what they do......STEAL EVERYTHING THEY POSSIBLY CAN FROM THEIR HOSTS, THEIR NEIGHBORS, AND FROM THEIR FRIENDS AND ENEMIES ALIKE. I HEAR their number one industry is  ''piracy''. All the democrat females running for office in 2026 are pandering to the so-called ''religion of peace'' by donning the traditional garb of these satan-worshipping rapists.

I covered that effeminette weirdo James Talarico. I understand he wants to make barbeques illegal in Texas and replace The Alamo and with a mosque. Confucious was more of a Christian than this clown!

These little arrogant America-hating communsit college kids think that inflation will go away if they elect this bunch of communist-Islamo-NAZIS. They keep using this bullshit term ''AFFORDABILITY''. They want to drag the landlord down main street and doucheboy Hasan wants the streets running red with the blood of capitalists.

I remember the good ole days, hating Republicans like that paranoid douche Tricky Dick made politics a little more fun. Now, it's the woke assholes trying to shame America from her affluence and freedom as they threaten everyone who loves this country. They are working their hardest to alienate even old school Democrats and trying to replace us with America-hating foreigners. I use to enjoy visiting colleges, but now these dreadful assholes are celebrating the murder of people like Charlie Kirk. This crap never happened before. The Democrat party acts like everyone is possessed.

I'll try to get through the next 6 weeks. When the going gets tough, the tough get WIERD. I hope I CAN MAKE IT TO NOVEMBER.

Your friend, Hunter S. Thompson.

OUR NEW TOP TEN LIST: THE TOP TEN REASONS WHY I'M ENDORSING ILHAN OMAR'S REPUBLICAN OPPONENT, JOHN NAGEL

In Minnesota's fifth Congressional District, underdog Republican candidate John Nagel, a 30-year state patrol officer, is running against the third-world corruptocrat incumbant Ilhan Omar. We're not sure if the 4-term Somali Democrat will make it to Election Day since federal agents are investigating her seemingly illegal marriage to her own brother. 

That would be marriage AND immigration fraud, and she can be denaturalized and deported from the country.

From the home office in Bovey, Minnesota, this is the new TOP TEN LIST. THESE ARE THE TOP TEN REASONS WHY I'M ENDORSING ILHAN OMAR'S REPUBLICAN CHALLENGER, JOHN NAGEL

10. Marriage fraud and immigration fraud are deal-breakers.. 

  9. While Ilhan Omar was defrauding the taxpayers, Nagel was working as a State Patrol officer.

  8. John Nagel didn'r refer to the 9/11 terrorist attacks as a day ''somebody did something.''

  7. A vote for Ilhan Omar is a vote for corruption.

  6. I don't vote for ANTI-SEMITES.

  5. Police squad. Nor the America-hating Democrat ''squad''

  4. I don't want to be represented by a third-world corruptocrat.

  3. John Nagel didn't marry his brother.

  2. Republicans might not be perfect, but the other side is crazy/

  1. I won't vote for a America-hating, Marxist mohammadon.

The Return Of Havnagootiim Vishnu Uerheer: The Guru Is Seeking Answers To Profound Questions

The great and wise guru,  Havnagootiim Vishnu Urheer, returns after a long time traveling around the world and beyond. Today, he has many universal questions that he has to ask....

THANK YOU, GREAT REDSQUIRREL, I hope you are well. I have many questions making my head feel heavy. For example:

How come there are no White third world countries?

Why do Leftists commit violent acts against conservatives, and call it ''speech'', but when conservatives SPEAK, the leftists call it ''violence''?

Why do muslims leave their countries, come to America, and complain that America isn't more like the muslim countries they just left??? IF YOU WANT SHARIA LAW, JUST GO BACK HOME WHERE YOU ALREADY HAVE IT!!!

The ultra-corrupt Democrats DEFRAUD and steal from the taxpayers and become filthy rich from incredible corruption, then accuse the President  WHO DOESN'T EVEN ACCEPT A PRESIDENTIAL SALARY of being the most corrupt? PROJECTION????

How does ILHAN OMAR get away with calling America a ''racist'' country....AFTER THE BLACK PEOPLE WITH LIGHTBULB HEADS MIGRATE INTO AND ROB THE MOSTLY WHITE PEOPLE......WITH THE HELP OF THE MOSTLY-WHITE GOVERNMENT???

What the socialists call ''income inequalty'' is it more more like ''INCOME DIVERSITY'?''

And finally,

Why do Americans PARK in DRIVEWAYS and DRIVE in PARKWAYS?

May the great spirit Krishna Bless you and yours!

PEGGY FLANAGAN: ARMY RECRUITERS ARE ''GOING AFTER'' POOR STUDENTS AND STUDENTS OF COLOR

 

Minnesota Lieutenant-Governor and DFL Senatorial candidate Peggy Flanagan refers to Army RECRUITMENT AND  THE OFFERING OF OPPORTUNITY as ''GOING AFTER'' poor students and students of color

In Peggy's world, kids are supposed to go to Democrat-ran government schools to be trained to be the DFL's racially-obsessed, communist revolutionary foot soldiers. To the leftist extremists running Minnesota It's downright abusive to teach these kids discipline or try to get young people to make make something of themselves.

Apparently, joining the Arny might turn more kids into Republicans. I remember when Barack Obama disenfranchised our military voters serving overseas, making sire that their ballots would NOT BE COUNTED IN 2012. He knew the members of our miitary HATED communists like him. It looks like Peggy knows this too.

These kids might learn patriotism and that America deserves to be protected from the enemies of America (like Peggy). The worst thing would be losing potential young BLACK VOTERS AND POOR STUDENTS to the Republican Party.

To Peggy Flanagan, corruptocrats, communists, crooks, criminals, creeps, and cross-dressers are acceptable, but members of our miltary are not. Somali frauds are welcome, but young, honest Americans serving our country would be a disaster..

25 Years After 9/11: Never Forget.....AND NEVER FORGIVE

25 years ago yesterday, America was attacked by hateful,Satan-worshipping terrorists. These evil animals hijacked planes, murdered the crews and passengers, and flew the hijacked planes into The World Trade Centers and The Pentagon, killing 3,000 Americans at their places where they worked.

Whenever these attacks are mentioned, most people, especially in the media, tell us to ''never forget this tragedy'' of ''what happened''. I say ''NEVER FORGIVE THE EVIL OF THESE ATROCITIES COMMITTED AGAINST US.'' I will NEVER get over these attacks, and I NEVER WANT TO. 

Muslim third-world corrruptocrat Ilhan Omar referred to the attacks as ''a day somebody did something.'' If her voters had a conscience, they would and should be ashamed of themselves. Semi-professional influencer Hasan Piker said that America deserved to be attacked.  I wonder if he's an evil, hateful douche because he is a muslim, or is he a muslim because he's a n evil, hateful douche.

After The Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, America didn't say ''No hard feelings'', We didn't begin allowing millions of Japanese into the country, then began electing them into Congress. America dropped nuclear bombs on them. It was incredibly foolish to let millions of muslims into the country after we were attacked. 

I DO NOT want to see quiet reflection or relatives weeping. I WANT TO SEE RIGHTEOUS OUTRAGE. I do NOT want to see that asshole Zohran Mamdani LAUGHING IT UP with AOC AT GROUND ZERO. I want our F.B.I. to visit EVERY Muslim and tell them we are watching them. 

EVERY MOSQUE SHOULD l be surveilled. If their places of ''worship'' ARE being used as ISLAMIC command centers, WE SHOULD BE DEPORTING ANYBODY THREATENING OR PLOTTING AGAINST THIS COUNTRY.

There was somebody wearing a Palestinian flag at the ceremonies in New York City. yesterday That's a direct threat, and that person should have put on a plane and sent out of the country. i THINK THAT every Muslim should be thrown out of the country. i will NEVER LET GO OF THIS.

NEVER FORGET. NEVER FORGIVE.