Offended Muslim Scholar Addresses The Islamophobic Easter Holiday

It's Easter Sunday, and Christians from around the world celebrate the resurrection of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Many attend Easter church services, then enjoy a nice ham dinner. Many Americans dye eggs in bright, festive colors and enjoy candies.

Some people do not celebrate Easter. Here to address this is The Perpetually Offended Islamic scholar Muhammad Fatah Loonatika:

You infidels celebrate your ISLAMOPHOBIC savior resurrection-fertility festival of EASTER-ISHTAR while we do holy things like plan your deaths and the destruction of Western Civilization.

Your Christian fertility festival begins with church services, with your women wearing brightly colored dresses that doesn't EVEN cover them completely. There's no hijab or burqa, and it gravely displeases Allah. Soon, we Muslims will enter EVERY home and we will put an end to this OUTRAGE!!!

After your church wervices, you anger Allah further with a HAM DINNER!!!! This makes many of us CRY!!!! You commit this grave sin of EATING PIG while we Muslims DO holy THINGS, such as r@ping your 13-year-old daughters and bombing your cities. ALLAHU AKBAR!!!! We are holy while you are haram!!!

Then, you in The West turn on your BIG SATAN TV and watch LITTLE SATAN JEWISH PROPAGANDA, WATCHING ''THE TEN COMMANDMENTS''!!! It depicts The Pharoah Rameses AS A BAD MAN, but he was A GOOD, GOOD MAN AND GREAT ROLE MODEL, ENSLAVING THE JEWS!!!

You immoral ISLAMOPHOBES dye Easter eggs in bright, festive colors when you should cover the eggs in a burqa!! You enjoy PEEPS, jelly beans, and Tadbury Creme Eggs when you should be forced to pay our Jizya tax!!!

Soon, us Muslims will be running THE WORLD, and there will be NO MORE EASTER. Your TREASONOUS Democrat politicians are handing control of your countries to us, AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE HAM DINNERS OR PRETTY EASTER DRESSES FOR YOU INFIDELS!!!! ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!

THIS JUST IN: TRUMP DECLARES HIMSELF KING

 

APRIL FOOLS : )

March Madness Finale: ''No King's'' Communist Rallies

 

For many Americans, the term ''March Madness'' refers to the big college Basketball tournament. For  conservatives, ''March Madness'' refers to the communist-democrat woke lunacy occurring in March. 

The finale of this woke silliness, the well-funded ''No-Kings'' rallies across the country, gave geriatric hippies and Affluent White Female Leftistss an opportunity to make fools of themselves and get their faces on the news.

In St. Paul, Minnesota, the governor who set up a Covid Snitch Line and robbed the taxpayers BLIND yelled about that ''fascist/king'' President Trump. 

If you went into the crowd and asked leftist attendees ''How is Donald Trump ACTING LIKE A KING''? they could not give you a single example. These protestors simply HATE him because he won the 2024 presidential election and they are acting out because that''s what democrat-communists do.

A couple weeks ago, Democrats in Minnesota proposed a law giving WILD RICE a right to life. Two years ago, these Minnesota Democrats passed the MOST CRUEL ABORTION LAW IN THE WORLD. NOT JUST AMERICA. THE WORLD. MORE EXTREME THAN COMMUNIST CHINA. MORE EXTREME THAN NORTH KOREA. The same lunatics who passed Minnesota's cruel abortion law are now suggesting that WILD RICE has a  right to life.

We're not sure what would happen if you cooked or ate wild rice. Perhaps The Dems consider it a hate crime.

Meanwhile, The Republicans in DC are trying to get TSA workers back on the job, The communist-dems refuse to pay them. The Republicans want to pay federal law enforcement, but the dems would rather protect their violent illegal alien voter base.

March Madness is ending because March 2026 is ending.  Looney-tune Communist-Democrat madness will continue in April and beyond. Stay tuned.

Andy Rooney: What's The Deal With AWFLs?

We here at RSR welcome the return of Andy Rooney, and he has some things to say regarding  THE awful WORLD OF AWFLS (Affluent White Female Liberals / Leftists):

They're the perpetually dissatisfied. middle-aged women, usually with short hair. They are always unhappy, with that indignant look on their face, demanding ''My I speak to your MANAGER?'' 

I'M GLAD THAT MY managing EDITOR, REDSQUIRREL IS JUST A COOL RODENT.  HE DOESN'T REALLY speak much. He JUST SNICKERS AT THE WORLD OF CRAZIES.

Many of these women are college professors.. They don't fix your plumbing or REPAIR your car. They make TONS of money (hence the ''Affluent'' IN AWFL) because the crooks in Washington D.C. PAYS THEM LOTS OF MONEY to INDOCTRINATE YOUR COMMUNIST BRAT. 

I began to notice these GAWDAWFUL AWFLS when they were ALL OVER TWITTER AND TIKTOK CELEBRATING THE BRUTAL ASSASSINATION OF CONSERVATIVE SPEAKER CHARLIE KIRK. THEY ARE INCREDIBLY HATEFUL, HORRIBLE, MISERABALE, AWFL LEFTISTS.

Many AWFLs are in the government. In about 25 years most of these leftist women with short hair will become the next generation of leftie hens like THEIR HEROINES Elizabeth Warrens, Hillary Clintons, and Nancy Pelosi. IT MAKES ME SHUDDER!!!

By the way, Have you ever noticed thow many of these Leftist Democrats don't even have two nickles to rub together, but after getting elected to Congrab they're SUDDENLY ZILLIONAIRES? Also, our national debt is almost identical to the amount of money STOLEN, GRIFTED, AND LAUNDERED by The Democrats in Congress? These Corruptocrat frauds are simply AWFL!

Renee Good was an lesbian AWFL killed by an I.C.E. Agent in Minneapolis when she tried to run him OVER, and was shot to death.The lunatics protesting Immigration and Customs Enforcement and the deportation of violent criminal illegal aliens blame the agent BECAUSE President Trump won the 2024 Election and the leftists are acting up like spoiled toddlers in a grocery store, demanding that MOMMY BUYS them candy!

When they're in power, they are mean, lunatic tyrants, and when they lose they act up.

Former President Barack Obama deported even more illegal aliens than President TRUMP, but none of these AWFLs cared a bit about THAT. They are protesting because they are OFFENDED THAT DONALD TRUMP EXISTS, and they have acute TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) as well as  ''toxic empathy'' for the violent illegals. These nutcases need a psychiatrst!

There is a subset of this group of women sometimes referred to as ''Karens''. I think that label is unfair. I have a young relative  named Karen and she's an exceedingly nice, sweet person. Her friends call her ''Kare-Bear''.  I think It just isn't fair.

So, what do we do about these obnoxious, abusive AFFLUENT WHITE FEMALE LEFTISTS? I heard about one store owner banning an abusive ''Karen'' from his store when she was abusive towards one of his store employees.

It's a start.

Also, know that for each abusive, obnoxious AWFL, there are probably TEN people who try to be a good person. 

SONG PARODY: ELLA LANGLEY SINGS ''CHOOSIN' TEXAS, FLORIDA, AND TENNESSEE (VOTING WITH OUR FEET)''

The hottest song in America RIGHT NOW is country songtress Ella Langley's smash hit ''Choosin' Texas''. It's the current Number One Pop song on Billboard's Hot 100.

It's the song about a girl from Tennessee losing the man she loves to a woman from Texas, yet the title ''Choosin'  Texas'' sounds like it could be about Americans voting with their feet. I can see a music video of Americans renting a U-HAUL and LEAVING Gavin Newsom's California or some other poorly run, corrupt blue state and heading to a Red State with no state tax and lots of sunshine.

Here to sing a new version of this song is Ella Langley and her Red State Chorus:

(Verse 1) 

Just when we thought The Democrats had the majority

Americans renting U-HAUL vans to Florida and Tennessee 

They've had enough of the taxes and the crime

Mamdani the Commie sucks and we think that it's time

(Chorus) 

They're on their way to Texas we can tell by the way

They're voting with their feet

This crappy state government in California

Illegal aliens and crime in the street

It doesn't take FOXNEWS to see

why everyone wants to leave

The Democrats brought it all on themselves

We're Choosin' Texas, This blue state can go to Hell

(Verse 2) 

Now, Gavin Newsom has really wrecked The Golden State

We're screwed and over-taxed, and we cannot wait

We'll be in Amarillo by morning

The Democrats should take it as a warning

(Chorus)

We're moving to Texas we're on our way

and the democrats are doomed

We're voting with our feet

 there's a population and an economic boom

It doesn't take FOXNEWS to see

why people will vote with their feet

The blue states brought it on themselves

We're leaving the crime and looted store shelves

(Bridge)

I can see a really long line of  U-HAUL VANS drivin' by

as the blue states  keeps taxing you even after you die

We're moving down South for the sun and the jobs

Mamdani just gave your paycheck to the illegal alien mob

(Chorus)

They're moving to Florida, because

 their governor is great!

We're moving to one of those nice, warm

LOW-TAX, CONSERVATIVE STATES

I don't need TO WATCH FOXNEWS to see

People moving down to Tennessee

The GOP will be gaining 10 or 12 (congressional seats)

The blue states brought it upon themselvces

Goodbye to the crime and looted store shelves

The blue states brought it upon themselves

C'MON EVERYBODT!!!!

Everybody's moving to Texas, Florida and Tennessee

Five-Head Clinton Advisor Paul Begala Complains About Surf-N-Turf

Last week, former Clinton Advisor and current CNN poitical pundit Paul Begala expressed his indignation at Secretary of War Peter Hegseth serving his troops ''expensive'' Surf N' Turf for dinner. Here to vent his anger is old ''Five-Head'' Himself:

The Trump Administration is cutting NGO's and our generous giveaways to undocumented immigrants, yet his Secretary of WAR Pete Hegseth is wasting million$$$$ on his troops, feeding them expensive steaks and lobster for dinner!!! Oh, the INHUMANITY!!!!

The grunts should be happy with gruel RATIONS and M.R.E.'s (Meals Ready To Eat), but Secretary Hegseth has wasted almost $30million on steak and lobster!!! Meanwhile, DOGE HAS FIRED THOUSANDS OF GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES, INCLUDING I.R.S. EMPLOYEES!!! 

Us Democrats needs to reign in this insane spending, and get back to the important government work  of DEFRAUDING THE TAXPAYERS AND SPENDING THAT MONEY ON OUR CORRUPT GRIFTER-SUPPORTER CLASS AND UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS!!! The Trump Administration have kicked thousands of undocumented immigrants out of  luxury hotels in Democrat-tun cities, and that cannot stand!.

Hegseth's grunts recieve lobster and steak, while the Somalis in Minneapolis are investigated for defrauding the taxpayers!  If you ask me, the Somalis deserve THE TAXPAYER'S MONEY because they SUPPORT THE DEMOCRATS DOING THE IMPORTANT WORK OF OPPOSING TRUMP'S NAZI-REPUBLICANS!!!!

Now, the total national debt is around $38trillion!!!! All this expensive food will make the deficit EXPLODE!!!! Because Trump wastes money on feeding the troops, there is NO MONEY FOR COLLEGE ENDOWMENTS FOR AMERICA-HATING UNIVERSITIES!!! While Hegseth's grunts feast on Surf n' Turf, FEEDING OUR FUTURE REMAINS UNDER-FUNDED and poor CHILDREN are STARVING! 

How are we ever going to feed the poor while Hegseth keeps feeding the troops surf n' turf? We NEED TO TAKE BACK CONGRESS OR THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION WILL ABOLISH E.B.T. CARDS AND THE COUNTRY WILL FACE A FAMINE OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS!!!!

MY HUGE FIVE-HEAD HAS A HEADACHE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!!!!

That's it for now. I am ''Five-head The Great''---Paul Begala. Back to you, RedSquirrel.

Our New Top Ten List: What Should The Letters ''D.F.L.'' Stand For?

The Democrat party in the State of Minnesota is referred to as The D.F.L. (Democrat Farmer-Labor) party, although we don't know any farmers or laborers WHO CAN STAND THESE COMMUNIST KLEPTOCRATS RUNNING THE STATE.

If you work for a living, The Democrats in Minnesota will try to steal everything you have and generously give it to their illegal alien, corruptocrat, educrat unionista voter base.

Three years sgo, The Democrat Trifecta passed THE MOST EXCESSIVE, EXTREME ABORTION LAW IN THE WORLD. 

NOT JUST THE COUNTRY.

THE WORLD. EVEN MORE EXTREME THAN CHINA AND NORTH KOREA.

They have defrauded the taxpayers, wasted an $18billion surplus, and showered their corrupt Somali supporters with the taxpayer's money.

This week, they are arguing that WILD RICE has an inherent right to life.  Innocent, unborn babies DON'T HAVE ANY RIGHTS, BUT WILD RICE SHOULD. WHAT'S NEXT? Will the dems try to make the eating of wild rice a hate crime?

So, we here at RSR think that calling this party of maladjusted, corrupt weirdos the FARMER-LABOR party should get a deserved change. From our home office in Bovey, Minnesota COMES THIS WEEK'S TOP TEN LIST. WE RE-THINK JUST WHAT THE MINNESOTA DEMOCRAT PARTY SHOULD CALL ITSELF FROM NOW ON.

What should the letters ''D.F.L.'' STAND FOR? Here we go:

10. DEMOCRAT FELON-LIAR

  9. DEVIANTS-FRAUDSTERS-LUNATICS

  8. DILDOS-FELONS-LOONEYBIRDS

  7. DEMONIC- FUCKING-LEFTISTS

  6. DEMOCRAT FRAUDSTER-LUNATICS

  5. DOUCHETASTIC FUCKING-LEFTARDS

  4. DEMOCRAT FELONS-LUNATICS

  3. DAMNABLE FELONIOUS-LEFTISTS

  2. DEMOCRAT FREAKS-LUNATICS

  1. DEMOCRAT FRAUDSTER-LIAR