Five-Head Clinton Advisor Paul Begala Complains About Surf-N-Turf

Last week, former Clinton Advisor and current CNN poitical pundit Paul Begala expressed his indignation at Secretary of War Peter Hegseth serving his troops ''expensive'' Surf N' Turf for dinner. Here to vent his anger is old ''Five-Head'' Himself:

The Trump Administration is cutting NGO's and our generous giveaways to undocumented immigrants, yet his Secretary of WAR Pete Hegseth is wasting million$$$$ on his troops, feeding them expensive steaks and lobster for dinner!!! Oh, the INHUMANITY!!!!

The grunts should be happy with gruel RATIONS and M.R.E.'s (Meals Ready To Eat), but Secretary Hegseth has wasted almost $30million on steak and lobster!!! Meanwhile, DOGE HAS FIRED THOUSANDS OF GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES, INCLUDING I.R.S. EMPLOYEES!!! 

Us Democrats needs to reign in this insane spending, and get back to the important government work  of DEFRAUDING THE TAXPAYERS AND SPENDING THAT MONEY ON OUR CORRUPT GRIFTER-SUPPORTER CLASS AND UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS!!! The Trump Administration have kicked thousands of undocumented immigrants out of  luxury hotels in Democrat-tun cities, and that cannot stand!.

Hegseth's grunts recieve lobster and steak, while the Somalis in Minneapolis are investigated for defrauding the taxpayers!  If you ask me, the Somalis deserve THE TAXPAYER'S MONEY because they SUPPORT THE DEMOCRATS DOING THE IMPORTANT WORK OF OPPOSING TRUMP'S NAZI-REPUBLICANS!!!!

Now, the total national debt is around $38trillion!!!! All this expensive food will make the deficit EXPLODE!!!! Because Trump wastes money on feeding the troops, there is NO MONEY FOR COLLEGE ENDOWMENTS FOR AMERICA-HATING UNIVERSITIES!!! While Hegseth's grunts feast on Surf n' Turf, FEEDING OUR FUTURE REMAINS UNDER-FUNDED and poor CHILDREN are STARVING! 

How are we ever going to feed the poor while Hegseth keeps feeding the troops surf n' turf? We NEED TO TAKE BACK CONGRESS OR THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION WILL ABOLISH E.B.T. CARDS AND THE COUNTRY WILL FACE A FAMINE OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS!!!!

MY HUGE FIVE-HEAD HAS A HEADACHE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!!!!

That's it for now. I am ''Five-head The Great''---Paul Begala. Back to you, RedSquirrel.

Our New Top Ten List: What Should The Letters ''D.F.L.'' Stand For?

The Democrat party in the State of Minnesota is referred to as The D.F.L. (Democrat Farmer-Labor) party, although we don't know any farmers or laborers WHO CAN STAND THESE COMMUNIST KLEPTOCRATS RUNNING THE STATE.

If you work for a living, The Democrats in Minnesota will try to steal everything you have and generously give it to their illegal alien, corruptocrat, educrat unionista voter base.

Three years sgo, The Democrat Trifecta passed THE MOST EXCESSIVE, EXTREME ABORTION LAW IN THE WORLD. 

NOT JUST THE COUNTRY.

THE WORLD. EVEN MORE EXTREME THAN CHINA AND NORTH KOREA.

They have defrauded the taxpayers, wasted an $18billion surplus, and showered their corrupt Somali supporters with the taxpayer's money.

This week, they are arguing that WILD RICE has an inherent right to life.  Innocent, unborn babies DON'T HAVE ANY RIGHTS, BUT WILD RICE SHOULD. WHAT'S NEXT? Will the dems try to make the eating of wild rice a hate crime?

So, we here at RSR think that calling this party of maladjusted, corrupt weirdos the FARMER-LABOR party should get a deserved change. From our home office in Bovey, Minnesota COMES THIS WEEK'S TOP TEN LIST. WE RE-THINK JUST WHAT THE MINNESOTA DEMOCRAT PARTY SHOULD CALL ITSELF FROM NOW ON.

What should the letters ''D.F.L.'' STAND FOR? Here we go:

10. DEMOCRAT FELON-LIAR

  9. DEVIANTS-FRAUDSTERS-LUNATICS

  8. DILDOS-FELONS-LOONEYBIRDS

  7. DEMONIC- FUCKING-LEFTISTS

  6. DEMOCRAT FRAUDSTER-LUNATICS

  5. DOUCHETASTIC FUCKING-LEFTARDS

  4. DEMOCRAT FELONS-LUNATICS

  3. DAMNABLE FELONIOUS-LEFTISTS

  2. DEMOCRAT FREAKS-LUNATICS

  1. DEMOCRAT FRAUDSTER-LIAR

A Malcolm Spottswoode Commentary: ''' War In Iran.......F -- YEAH!!!''

 

On February 28, American and Israeli military forces began OPERATION EPIC FURY, bombing Iranian government buildings and disabling their military infrastructure. While many happy Iranians living in America AND IRAN danced in the streets in jubilation, angry critics of The Trump Administration suggest The President be impeached.

Our military correspondent AND Director of Team America: World Police, Malcolm Spottswoode, shares his thoughts on this military operation:

To all pro-American Patriots and our brave warriors, I salute you and invite you to Team America Headquarters for Briefings and Cocktails. To all you who oppose this war I say you're all America-hating, butt-f........ traitors!!!!!

I am exceedingly proud of our Team America--World Police for joining in the fight (in a supporting role). Team America----''F'' YEAH!

Secretary of Kick-Ass Pete Hegseth said that we will pound the Iranian military without mercy until they submit. I couldn't have said it better!!!! Our warriors bombed The Iraniian Air Force into the dust and their Navy lays with the dead fishes!! We are wiping those towelheads out, while Some worthless Democrat crapweasels in Congress want to IMPEACH PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR DOING WHAT SHOULD'VE BEEN DONE 45 YEARS AGO. 

I'm just surprised that The Film Actor's Guild hasn't tried to join the war on the side of those Iranian Shiite-Heads. Right now, we have actors Mel Gibson and Sylvester Stallone undercover in Tehran, Iran's capitol doing incredible work.

Tehran is approximately 6,300 to 6,337 miles east of Washington D.C.

The evil mohammadon Mullahs should have been wiped off the face of the Earth 45 years ago! Our people bombed the Hell out of The Iranian Capitol Building on BacaLacaDaca Street, and it was there that The Ayatollah Supreme douchebag Ali Khameini was sent to his eternal reward. 

The cross-dressing generals of the Biden Administration would NEVER have gotten this important job done!! They were too busy giving themselves medals for applying make-up and getting runs in their panty hose!

Our Secretary of DO-THIS-OR-ELSE, Marco Rubio told the Iranian Shiite-Terrorist Mullahs to stop their nuclear blackmail and join the international community or they will be sent to eternal damnation.

The only misstep in this important operation thus far was when I mistakenly sent Our World Police to Paris and our people accidently leveled The Eiffle Tower, The French were angry, but did you see all the happy Persian Babes taking off their burkas and dancing?  Soon, we will be seeing Kid Rock and Ted Nugent concerts in downtown Tehran!

To the people in The Middle East I say America wants to be your FRIEND, BUT DON'T THREATEN AMERICA WITH WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. TO ALL YOU TERRORISTS CREEPS WE AMERICANS SAY THIS---SUCK OUR B....S!!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA!! ''F'' YEAH!!!!

Malcolm F. Spottswoode, Director of Team America--World Police

''OH, AND ANOTHER THING......'':Professor Walter Turgeson Comments On The War In Iran

Our resident expert on Everything, Professor Walter Turgeson,would also like to comment on the War Aganst The Iranian Mullahcracy:

Oh, and ANOTHER THING......

Thank GOD for President Trump and The Secretary of Def----I mean, WAR, Pete Hegseth for bombing the THE SIIIITE OUT OF 7TH CENTURY TERRORIST MOHAMMADONS, SENDING Ayatollah Ali Khameini AND HIS TOWELHEAD mullah friends to THEIR 72 virgins!! 

For 47 years OUR SO-CALLED LEADERS ACTED LIKE PUSSY WIMPS, ALLOWING THE SPONSORS OF WORLDWIDE TERRORISM TO PUSH US AROUND!!!  

AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (The Professor rips the top of a classroom desk and throws it across the room.)

A week before the bombing started, The Ayatollah insulted President Trump on Twitter/X. I like Trump's answer. GOOOOOOD ANSWER!!!

Now, we and our Israeli friends are POUNDING THE HELL out of the mohammadon Islamic tyranny's MILITARY INFRASTRUCTURE and we won't stop until these towelheads SURRENDER!!!

HEY TOWELHEADS, SAY UNCLE SAM!!!!!SAY IT.......SAAAAY IT!!!!

There are commie douchebags here in America actually protesting and carrying signs FOR THE AYATOLLAH!!!! THESE COMMIE LUNATICS SHOULD BE DEPORTED,!!!! WE SHOULD TRADE THESE AMERICA-HATING BRATS FOR THE HAPPY PERSIAN HOTTIES DANCING HAPPILY AND TAKING OFF THEIR GARBAGE BAG BURKAS!!!

Well, that's my time. I am Professor Walter Turgeson, and class is in session. Good Night.

Our Expert, Professor Walter Turgeson, Comments On The Anti-I.C.E. ''Protests''

 

Our resident expert on Everything, History Professor Walter Turgeson, returns from  his sabbatical to comment on the anti-I.C.E. ''protests'':

Thanks Red.

I am seeing on Twitter and the evening news a lot of people protesting federal agents of Immigration and Customs Enforcement. If you ask the protestors, they will say that they are protesting the ''kidnapping'' of our ''neighbors''.

Are they right? That's the POPULAR viewpoint for some, but I'VE HAD NEIGHBORS HARMED BY THESE VIOLENT THIRD-WORLD ILLEGAL ALIEN ASSHOLES. WHAT ABOUT THE YOUNG GIRLS HURT AND EVEN K...... BY THESE PSYCHOTIC ANIMALS????!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

EVIL CORRUPTOCRATS LIKE THAT LEFTIST KNUCKLEHEAD TIMMY WALZ WANT TO DISTRACT US ALL AWAY FROM THEIR RAMPANT CRIMINALITY  BY SENDING THESE UNHINGED, DEMENTED AWFLS, AND EVEN GOVERNMENT SCREWLS ARE TAKING THE KIDS OUT OF CLASS TO PROTEST OUR HARD-WORKING FEDERAL LAW AGENTS!!!!

AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

THE GOVERNMENT SCHOOLS HAVE REPLACED READING AND WRITING WITH COMMIE-REVOLUTION AND RIOTING. NO WONDER OUR KIDS ARE SCREWED UP!!!!!!!!

PRESIDENT TRUMP WANTS THE GOVERNMENT TO PROTECT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. WHILE THE DAMN COMMUNIST DEMOCRATS WON'T EVEN STAND UP FOR US!!!! THEY'RE TOO BUSY GRIFTING AND DEFRAUDING THE TAXPAYERS!!!! THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. IT'S JUST LIKE THE OLD ROLLING STONE SONG SAYS ''ALL THE COPS ARE CRIMINALS AND ALL THE CRIMINALS, SAINTS!!!!''

THE DEMOCRATS ARE AMERICA-HATING, CORRUPT, COMMIE JERK-OFFS!!!! SAY IT!!!! SAYYYYY IT!!!!

Here's Some Drawings By Joe The Cartoonist

 It's been about 15 years since I showed some of my drawings. Enjoy:

''This Means War''

I was probably vegging out and listening to Nirvana....

I thought it would be cool if ''The Thing''(1982) starred Alice Cooper.

''Cosmic Roadkill''

Eric Cartman Reports from Tuesday Night's State Of The Union Address

On Tuesday, President Trump delivered his State of the Union Address. Here to comment on the speech is our cub correspondent, Eric Cartman:

I am happy to report that the state of the union IS KICKING ASS!!!!

Our AWESOME President addressed Inflation (The homo COMMIE LEFTISTS call it ''AFFORDABILITY'' and deporting ILLEGAL ALIENS. ILLEGAL ALIENS PISS ME OFF!!! He ALSO awarded some people medals, and that was KEWL!!!

At the beginning of the SOTU, THE GEICO CAVEMAN (Texas Rep. Al Green) STARTED YELLING LIKE AN ASSHOLE, and he was taken out. I sure hope he gets psychiatric help for that TDS. It must be hard for a DEMOCRAT caveman to cope in the modern age

THAT ROTTEN, Somali CORRUPTOCRAT Ilhan Omar started FLIPPING OUT and flapping her yap. I wish that Trump would have announced her deportation In fact, I wish some I.C.E. agents would've showed up to arrest her and that ugly, obnoxious MOHAMMADON Rashida Tlaib. YOU WILL RESPECT I.C.E. AUTHORITAH, AND YOU WILL RESPECT THE PRESIDENT'S AUTHORITAH!!!!

Us Normal Americans like Trump because he's deporting illegal aliens,. Many of them are violent lunatics, rapists, murderers, human traffickers, and drug dealers. Of course, the CORRUPT communist-democrats send their protestors to harass and assault our I.C.E. agents. I'm sure that we have video, and hopefully The F.B.I. will be paying these haters a visit.

The demonrats need illegal aliens and third-world criminal voters because Normal Americans will not vote for these corrupt, looney douches.

Real Americans loved it when our GOLD-MEDAL HOCKEY TEAM SHOWED UP. I was wondering why the democrats wouldn't even stand for our hockey team. Did somebody break their legs?

In the corrupt, America-hating government schools, we see green-haired, commie looneybirds take their students OUT OF CLASS to protest I.C.E. They have replaced reading and writing with revolution and rioting. We will defund these failing, rotting government schools and reward the good schools. 

The idiotic, hateful democrats didn't even stand when President Trump asked if everyone would agree that the government's most important job is protecting The American People. Even an 8-year-old like me knows THAT! The dems must think that their most important job is defrauding the taxpayers. 

Corrupt assholes.

Trump also asked Congress to pass THE SAVE ACT. Democrats are against it because they have to CHEAT to win elections. CHEATERS!!!! Trump honored ANGEL FAMILIES  (families hurt by violent, third-world ILLEGAL ALIENS. The Republicans stood for the victims, while the DEMONIC Dems sat on their fat duffs. Damn, they PISS ME OFF!!!!

When Trump mentioned ''INSIDER TRADING'' Nutty Nancy Pelosi almost choked on her dentures.Well, that's it from The Trump State of the Union. Back to you, RED......

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