Impeachment Trial Day One Update: Seculow Eviscerates Schiff

Here with his report is our correspondent on the scene:

Update 11:55 EST: The President Trump Impeachment Trial began earlier in The Senate chambers. and The President's Defense superstars Jay Seculow and Pat Cipollone has already eviscerated lead Democrat House Manager Adam Schiff's non-case.

Seculow is jumping on the Democrats complete lack of evidence like a ape jumping on luggage. He is merciless!!!

Now, Cipollone has punching holes in the House Democrats 'case',and making them look like Swiss cheese!

Now, Seculow has ripped Schiff's spine right out like the alien in the movie 'Preditor.'  Seculow is holding it up and laughing. 

Seculow is removing Schiff's teeth and fashioning a necklace out of them, yet Adam Schiff doesn't seem to regret his phone call transcript 'parody'.

Look, Senator Charles Schumer is complaining that Team Trump is engaging in a 'cover-up.'

Now, Adam Schiff is telling everyone that the 'evidence is overwhelming', but that they still need to call more 'witnesses.' He doesn't know that his case is already dead.

Well, that's all for now. Back to you, RS.....

This Just In: Speaker Pelosi Has Been Spotted.......

.....delivering the Articles of Impeachment to The Senate.

(Thank you Tea Bagger Outfitters on facebook!)

Congrats To Representative Ilhan Omar

According to the website stopantisemitism.org, the Minnesota Representative was named 2019's Anti-Semite of the Year.'

Her voters must be proud.