The Anti-Christ Wishes Everyone A Happy New Year

Here to comment on 2020 and the new year is probable Time Magazine's 'Person of the Year 2021':

Happy New Year, all my soon-to-be subjects.........

2020 was a fantastic year with lots of 'changes', and I'm promising an even greater 2021! 

Things are progressing perfectly. American sheep are wearing their masks and are mostly quite accepting of all the shutdowns. The Democrat governors are an incredible collection of seemingly inept tyrants, killing the old-timers in nursing homes, allowing psychotic, violent communist weirdos do whatever they want, and bullying law-abiding citizens.......

It warms my heart to see these psychotic bullies shut down the churches, taverns, and small businesses. Excellent!!! Around 1770, we made the mistake of allowing some dead White men discuss concepts like Liberty and Revolution in their churches, taverns, and businesses. Ewwww!

The Covid 'vaccine' is being distributed, and presidential also-ran Andrew Yang is talking about branding barcodes on your body to prove you've been vaccinated. You won't be able to buy or sell, or take a trip without the barcode. HEY ANDREW, DO YOU WANT A JOB?????

I'm very happy that Joe Biden 'won' the American election. That damn Trump got so many votes that he broke the voter machine algorithm, and my workers were caught red-handed stealing the election. I thank my Supreme Court for refusing to even look at that Texas case, and you faithless G.O.P. establishment Anti-Trumpers. I JUST LOVE WASHINGTON D.C.!!! 

I am such a fan of that evil, corrupt witch, Speaker Nancy Pelosi! You don't know this, but my master placed an unclean spirit inside her head!!! She will probably be my queen.

China's Chairman Xi will probably be my right-hand man. Thanks to him and the corrupt American political / media establishment, most American newspapers, corporations, and TV 'news'  have sold their souls to the demonic ChiComs!

Soon, we'll get rid of old man Biden, and Kamala Harris will be running what's left of the 'free world!'

If you think that 2020 was great, just you wait!!! 2021 will be EVEN BETTER!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Nicolae Carpathia, The Anti-Christ

And Now, A Christmas Message From Burgermeister Walz

 Happy Holidays, Minnesota peasants:

It's a difficult responsibility keeping everyone safe and healthy. Therefore, I'm issuing yet ANOTHER emergency order. I am banning Christmas travel, and ordering that you keep away from your friends and family.

Everyone must 'mask-up' while in any public space and while you're on any public transportation. Failure to keep your face diaper on might end with 'police enforcement.'

We (Myself and Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison) are fining the outlaws breaking my edict. Some dining establishments are disobeying my orders. Such insolence will be met with a hefty fine, which will be collected and sent to the Democrat Farmer-Labor Party of Minnesota.

I am toying with a new idea, that if we see anybody smile that they be thrown in one of our jails, and a mask be surgically grafted on the perpetrator's face. If you're caught not wearing your face diaper, you may be sent to a 'special government camp', and it will be there that you learn how to comply.

Remember, 'mask-up', or you may be guilty of murder if someone, somehow catches Covid because you failed to 'mask-up.'

Also, stay AT LEAST 6 feet away from each other. It might be difficult for married couples to concieve a baby, but that's a small price to pay to protect your fellow human beings from contracting Covid.

There is some great news, though. I am working with Democrats in the state legislature to issue special 'Walz Checks' to those who have been let go by their employers. You're welcome.

Have a Merry Seasonal Holiday! Burgermeister Walz.

HEADLINE: GREAT NEWS!!! HOUSE AGREES TO COVID RELIEF STIMULUS DEAL!!!

 

Bad news. Everyone is enrolled in the 'Jelly of the Month' Club.

The Democrat Governor Grinch Song

You're a douchebag, Governor Walz

We're sick of your shutdowns

You're a business-killing jack-ass and 

a lying, inept clown, Timmy Walz

We can't stand you because you're

killing every business in town!

You're a bully, Governor Cuomo

You're a finger-pointing hockey puck

You're destroying your state

you stupid idiot schmuck, Governor Cuomo

The three words that best describes you are, and I quote, 

'Sucked.......sucking.......suck!'

You're a psycho hosebag, Governor Witmer,

You're a wicked, wicked witch

You're drunk with power and you're

driving Michigan into the ditch, Gretchen Witmer!

The only way I could ever see myself voting for you is if I was 

a dead Democrat.....or there was a vote machine glitch!

You're a tyrant weirdo, Governor Newsome

You're a left-coast fruitcake nut

You fine restaurant owners and kiss

violent criminal butt, Gavin Newsome!

Everyone is leaving for Texas because

even liberals hate your guts!

(Merry Christmas! Stay safe and don't get arrested for celebrating Christmas with your

families!)

SONG PARODY ALERT!!!: REP. ERIC SWALWELL SINGS RE-MAKE OF DAVID BOWIE'S 'CHINA GIRL'

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, My little Chinese spy

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, My little Chinese spy

The word is out about me an' my lttile Chinese spy

I wrecked my career for my little, my little Chinese spy

I blame The Orange Man Bad for my blunder 

They are bashing me now

I really messed up.....sleeping with a Chinese spy

I might've gave national secrets to my little Chinese spy

They might throw me out of Congress

They're making fun of me

I feel stupid, like Joe Biden

when I think of my little Chinese spy

I was pretending that I wasn't married

sleeping with Bang Bang

I should just resign

I'll never live it down

Visions of Chinese tanks in the streets

because of my treason

Me an' my Chinese spy with slanted eyes

My little Chinese spy

I really thought you liked me

You ruined my career

You know

If you give me a bribe

I'll give national secrets to you

Soon President Xi and facebook will rule the world

My Chinese spy gets me all excited

The newspapers say my career is heading South

They're laughing, 'heh heh heh'.......

They're laughing, 'heh heh heh'.......

They're laughing

They're laughing

Dear Trump Supporters: Welcome To Unity Camp

(Over the intercom):

Welcome to Unity Camp. Due to Covid 19, we demand that you campers stay in your dorms, and if you must go outside, keep your masks on. 

We are pleased to announce many exciting, manditory re-education classes for all you former Trump supporters......

Before classes can start, you must stand and denounce White Supremacy. It is something that former President Trump 'NEVER DID.'.......

We start early, with a very exciting class in Obama Building 5. There, CNN host and Speaker Chris Cuomo will be giving a Seminar on 'How Our Wonderful, Completely Honest New President Biden Won The 2020 Election'.

Over at Hillary Clinton Auditorium, all you Trump supporters will learn the horrible truth about The 2016 Election, as Hillary delivers a speech 'Orange Man Bad: Donald Trump's 2016 Victory Was Illegitimate!'

The Reverend Al Sharpton will be running a very interesting daily class on 'White Privilege' over at Social Justice Building 3.

At The Bernie Sanders Building, our team of Socialist brain-washers will break you of your bad habit of working for your money. We call the class 'Capitalism Is Mean!' 

Note: You may have to apply for a liscence to vote in the 2024 Election. Be sure to apply at the office in the AOC Building.

Each month, our wonderful leader will venture out of his basement, and give a stirring, unifying address to Trump supporters.

You will recieve your diploma when you kneel before the Biden Alter of National Unity, and swear allegience to Joe Biden, and promise to vote for him in 2024 (or Kamala Harris if Joe Biden cannot complete his first term as President.)

One more thing: If our records indicate that you had made a money contribution to former President Trump's 2016 or 2020 campaign, you may go to jail.

Thank you, and HAVE FUN!!!

CNN's Coverage Of Joe Biden's Inauguration Parade

Hello Chinese subjects! This is CNN's special coverage of Joe Biden's inauguration parade! As you know, our new, wonderful president is thinking about the American people's HEALTH AND SAFETY on this wonderful day, so it's a very scaled-down celebration. He has ordered the country to 'mask-up', and has also ordered a lock-down here in D.C. 

We understand that he is taking his presidential oath in his basement, The right-wing media tells us that he's having trouble with the oath due to 'cognitive difficulties', but those are BASELESS claims.

According to our unnamed sources, Former president Donald Tump is on the run from federal authorities.  

......ooooh, LOOKY HERE, THE PARADE IS STARTING!!!! The Grandmarshal of today's parade Chinese president Xi Jinping is sharing a float with new Vice-President Kamala Harris! I wonder how much red and yellow crepe paper they needed for that huge float!!!

WOW, LOOK AT ALL THE CHINESE TANKS ROLLING DOWN PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE!!! 

.....AND HERE COMES THE CHINESE TROOPS!!!!! THEY ARE MARCHING WITH INCREDIBLE PRECISION!!! This is a really impressive, massive display!!!

We at CNN agree that America will be MUCH better off with our Chinese masters running our country than when Orange Man Bad ran the federal government. 

LOOK AT THIS!!!! Several floats honoring 'Democrat campaign workers' from Philadelphis, Detroit, and Atlanta who were in charge of 'counting the ballots'! 

Up next.......is a float with a giant placard giving a SHOUT-OUT TO DOMINION VOTE-COUNT MACHINES!!1 

Up next is the AntiFa Marching Band doing their redition of the old Soviet National Anthem on their kazoos!!

Here comes the sweet sound of The Black Lives Matter Singers. They're doing their rendition of The Black National Anthem. Oh-oh, there's a man with a Trump-Pence campaign sign, and all the Antifa and BLM musicians are beating him unconscious.

He deserved it.

He comes a float with four great governors. Andrew Cumo from New York, Gretchen Wetmer from Michigan, Gavin Newsome from California, and Tim Walz from Minnesota. These four great governors bravely shut down their states, and saved millions of lives from the terrors of Covid 19.

Here comes a float with Chinese and Ukranian 'business executives', and they are shoveling money into a pig trough in front of the capitol building. There's a group of politicians there to take the money.

Is that Hunter Biden? He's crawling on his hands and knees, snorting cocaine. Of course, if this was October, we wouldn't be covering this story because it would hurt our fantastic new president's chances at winning the election.......

Well, that's it for the parade. Mask up, America, and we'll see you at the CNN party tonight!

And Now, A Word From Our New Sponsor: Joe Biden's Pardon My Bloopers, Greatest Senior Moments, Incoherent Blabberings, And Whoppers

And now, a word from our new sponsor: 

In the 1950's and 1960's, record and TV producer Kermit Schafer introduced his series of classic Bloopers from radio and TV, 'Pardon My Blooper'.

Almost 60 years later, our sponsor K-SELL announces the release of......

JOE BIDEN'S PARDON MY BLOOPERS, GREATEST SENIOR MOMENTS, INCOHERENT BLABBERINGS, AND WHOPPERS.

It's not available in stores.................GET IT NOW!!!!

This Is Robert Stack, And This Is Unsolved Election Mysteries

Tonight, on Unsolved Election Mysteries........

Incumbent President Donald Trump has a commanding lead on Election Night, but leftists in deep-blue cities known for election corruption STOP the counting of votes. As America wakes up the next day, The President's lead evaporates. Hundreds of thousands of votes that go ONLY for Democrat Joe Biden appear. Were these mail-in votes, or were Democrat campaign workers 'busy finding' ballots for Biden?

Also on Unsolved Election Mysteries.....

President Trump recieves at least 10,000,000 more votes than in 2016, but  still LOSES??? Are we to believe that more Americans cast their votes for Slow-Joe Biden than ever voted for Barack Obama?????

Also on Unsolved Election Mysteries......

Suitcases of votes, Idiots on social media bragging about committing voter fraud, vote harvesting, machines turning millions of Trump votes into Biden votes, Democrats bribing Native-Americans to vote for Biden......but the entire mainstream 'news media' refers to accusations of this criminal activity as 'baseless.'

That, and more, on Unsolved Election Mysteries......

SONG PARODY ALERT!.... JOE, THE PHONY PRESIDENT-ELECT OF AMERICA (FROM DISNEY'S ROBIN HOOD)

So, the history books say that on Election Day

Democrats committed fraud for Joe 

Everyone saw how they broke the law

They kept on 'finding votes'

and stole the election from President Trump

who won on Election Night

The Democrat crooks they cooked the books

They turned off the lights

He's incoherent and slow

It's crooked, Sleepy Joe

The fraudulent President of America

A pox on the phony President of America!

The boxes were stuffed until they had enough

votes for the Dingaling

The media hacks had the liar's back

He's China's puppet on a string

We won't be free, he'll wreck our economy

Our jobs he'll eradicate

This incoherent clown wants to shut us down

and issue a national mask mandate

It's good-for-nothing Joe

and Kamala the Commie hoe

Joe, The Fraudulent President of America

Joe, The Fraudulent President of America

The pain we feel is The Green New Deal

Our resteraunts will be closed

While the government creeps never ever suffer

Working people will be hosed

Trump will prove he won in a landslide

and take our country back

And Rudy will throw the criminals in jail

The Supreme Court won't be packed

Before the country can be wrecked

by the phony, fraudulent President-ELECT

Joe Biden The hidin' phony President of America

The sniffin', Whiffin,

The blabberin'jabberin,

Blunderin' plunderin,

Wheelin, dealin'

tax dollar stealin'

Joe, The Phony President of America!