Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Ralphie Wiggum: I'm Getting My Covid Shot Because Big Bird Told Me To!


Oops, I just ate some glue......

Recently, I saw that our wonderful President Joe Brandon tweeted Big Bird , and I saw that Big Bird just got his vaccine for Covid! I am very happy to see that The Muppets care about their neighbors enough to 'mask up' and vaccinate themselves!

When it comes to making life and death decisions, I think we should all take the advice of a guy playing a character in a large, yellow bird costume!

I was super happy to see Super-Nintendo man come out of the closet! Well, he doesn't really exist. Super-Nintendo man is a super hero drawn with ink and paint on paper. An artist draws a little 'word balloon' that tells us what our hero says. I guess an ink drawing can't really have a sexual identity.

I would like to see Tickle-Me-Elmo run for president. I think he could re-assure the Muslim terrorists that America means no harm. He could tickle our enemies, and everyone would love America again. I just hope their leaders don't take 'tickling' the wrong way, and begin yelling 'Stranger Danger!'

I think it's just great when our cartoons do our virtue signalling for us! Real people might disagree on too many things! Rand Paul scares me! He's a Republican meanie, and he tells people that the  government isn't ALWAYS RIGHT! 

THAT'S UNPOSSIBLE!!!!

Just look how the government treats the Native-Americans! They get their own places called 'reservations'! It's like living in heaven!

Now, there's the Omnigoogle Covid variant in South Africa that will soon be invading America! I hope it doesn't kill everybody! Maybe we need Batman to tell everybody to get another Booster. Quick! Mayor Biden, send the 'bat-signal!'

Oops, I just ate some more glue.......and accidently swallower a crayon! 




My Idea: The Kyle Rittenhouse Investment Club


I got this idea from former Covington High School student Nicholas Sandmann, who sued CNN. I heard that hey agreed to pay him $250,000,000 for defamation.

It looks like Kyle Rittenhouse has a good case against Joe Biden, CNN, MSNBC, and many other parties who falsely referred to the teenager as a murderer and a White Supremacist. He may be incredibly wealthy very soon.

This gives me an idea. I call this idea 'The Kyle Rittenhouse Invsetment Club.'

It works like this:

You/me (the 'investors') send Kyle and his lawyers money for his legal costs, and they sue the living Hell out of these leftist creeps who defamed him. Kyle gets his cut, the lawyers get their cut, and the investors get theirs. 

Hopefully, CNN and MSNBC might not even exist after Team Kyle is done with them. I hope that Kyle has an armada of the meanest lawyers he can find. 

If you want, you can comment on my idea in my comment section..........

Monday, November 29, 2021

Joe Biden's Gang Of Supervillians


In the 1970's, ABC introduced Superfriends, a Saturday morning TV extraveganza featuring Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Batman. Their home is The League of Justice Building.

Their enemies were The Legion of Doom, a gang of supervillians. Their headquarters looked like Darth Vader's mask. Bizzaro, Lex Luther, The Black Manta, Brainiac, Scarecrow, and other bad guys waged a DIABOLICAL, weekly war against The Superfriends.

The Biden Regime reiminds me of a gang of supervillians. If I wanted to wreck America, I'd do EVERYTHING that the current resident of The White House is doing. Biden and his gang of all-star leftist lunatics are harming America, and it seems as if Biden is ruining America on purpose.

The titular head of this gang of leftist supervillians is Joe Biden. His son Hunter refers to his Dad as 'Mr. Big.' Mr. Big  is a terrific name for the head of a supervillian gang.. Mr. Big is extremely corrupt. He's never worked, but is obscenely wealthy.

His Vice-President, Kamala Harris, has an annoying, obnoxious laugh. Her supervillian name could be 'The Hyena.' His Secretary of Energy, former Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm laughs when a reporter asks her about the American people suffering from HIGH gasoline prices. I'd call her 'The Inappropriate Joker.'

Mr. Big's Transportation Secretary, former Ft. Wayne mayor Pete Buttigeig, was hired because he's gay and Mr. Big wanted at least one homosexual in his cabinet. Buttigeig looks like Alfred E. Newman, and seems to be mostly useless, but he can sweep the floors or something.

He disappeared for 2 months. He took 'paternity leave', so he and his partner could both take care of their adopted baby. 

Recently, Mr. Big nominated Tracy Stone-Manning, an eco-terroriist to be Director of Land Management. It's almost like Biden is doing this supervillian stuff on purpose.

His Attorney General, Merrick Garland, is using his position to punish everyday Americans. About 5 years ago, his nomination to the Supreme Court was rejected by Republicans. Now, he wreaks his vengeance against anyone with an 'R' next to his or her name. I understand he flies around around in a huge black judge robe and harasses mothers who attend school board meetings.

Mr. Big's  transgender Director of Health and Human Services is Dr. Rachel Levine, formerly Dr. Richard Levine.  If you use the wrong pronoun around him/her............WATCH OUT!!!!!!

I am thinking about what-who we call this oerson. HIM/HER? Transgender Weirdo? There's many directions we can go here.

Recently, Mr. Big nominated Saule Omorova for Comptroller of the Currency. She wanred to do away with your personal bank account. I understand this ultra-communist is TOO RADICAL FOR THE DEMOCRATS IN THE SENATE, and her nomination was scrapped.

Of course, everybody knows Doctor Anthony Fauci. Let's call him Doctor Death.

We need heroes to do battle against these authoritarian weirdos. This kid who was acquitted in Wisconsin, Kyle Rittenhouse, should be one of our junior members of our League of Justice. Let's call him The Kenosha Kid.

Donald Trump (The Orange Ballbuster) can lead our League of Justice. He and our heroes fight for Truth, Justice, and The American Way.

There should be a Saturday morning cartoon.


Thursday, November 25, 2021

A Joe Biden Thanksgiving Limerick


For Thanksgiving, Joe's going to Nantucket

He tells the American people to 'suck it.'

Inflation is thru the roof

He never tells the troof

When he speaks, I think I need a burp bucket


Yes, Slow Joe's heading to Nantucket

When someone asks a tough question? He'll duck it

No one can afford gasoline

You'll be fired for refusing the vaccine

Before the ChiComs he'll take his tail and tuck it


Yes, the clown's headed to Nantucket

In the ditch our economy he stuck it

The pipelines are all closed

and the taxpayers are being hosed

The Golden Goose? Biden will PLUCK it.




Tuesday, November 23, 2021

Nicolae Carpathia:Wishes America A Happy Thanksgiving


All Hail Satan!

Things are right on track, even though some of our Satanic agenda is being tied up in the courts.  Our point man Joe Biden promises us that HIS vaccine mandate will be law by January 2022. 

He promises us that his huge boondoggle bill will be passed soon, and 145,000 new I.R.S. agents will be snouting around every American's bank account. We also want to hire thousands of neighborhood snitches!

We're toying with the idea of building 100 new tax prisons! 1n 10 years, no one will own ANYTHING AND THEY WILL LOVE IT!!! 

As for the new vaccine mandate for businesses with 100 employees or more, all we would need is to repeal that silly U.S. Constitution. That might be difficult.

I don't know why so many Americans refuse to submit to the government. The vaccine is completely safe. It's perfectly normal for healthy, 8 year olds to suffer heart attacks.

The Kyle Rittenhouse trial was a set-back. We lost 2 of our foot soldiers, and that jury defied our leftist mob by judging that punk acted in self-defense! 

We're STILL holding 400 everyday Americans in Biden's secret prisons. Our F.B.I. is torturing those January 6  prisoners daily, and we believe that most Americans don't even care anyway. 

Our AG Merrick Garland is busy treating parents as domestic terrorists, sucking up to our government school teacher's unions! ALL HAIL SATAN!!!

Soon, we will complete our conquest of The United States. We have thousands and thousands of Covid-untested illegal aliens being bussed and flown into red states. Very soon, America will be overran and forced to accept our Great Reset!!!

Armies of smash-and-grab thieves are stealing EVRYTHING in San Francisco stores. This pilot program is coming to a city near you!

Our friends at facebook and Twitter are censoring American conservatives, and we're hard at work to confiscate guns from American gun-owners.

Remember, 6uild 6ack 6etter!

Happy Thanksgiving. ALL HAIL SATAN!!!

Tuesday, November 16, 2021

HEADLINE: BIDEN'S PERSONAL GESTAPO ARRESTS TRUMP SUPPORTER BANNON, TREATS HIM LIKE HANNIBAL LECTER


 

Our Legal Expert Reacts To The Rittenhouse Prosecuters

Your bushy-tailed correspondent is paying attention to the Kyle Rittenhouse murder trial. Leftists in the media have tried to slander this kid as a 'White Supremacist', but it doesn't square with the fact that the three rioters he shot were ALL WHITE CRIMINALS.

The prosecutor's case is that Kyle should not have brought his gun to a riot, and that he should have just let these violent criminals beat him or kill him. If the corrupt, ultra-blue local government had defended Kenosha from the rioters, Kyle wouldn't need to defend himself with a gun.

We asked our legal expert to react to the prosecuter's closing argument. This is his reaction:




Tuesday, November 9, 2021

The Insane World Of Joy Reid


We at RSR believe in getting all points of view. The remedy for bad speech isn't censorship, but 'more speech.' These should be a robust debate with all sides represented.

But what about out-of-control, gas-lighting racial bomb-throwers like MSNBC host Joy Reid. It is a fact that watching her for one minute kills 1,978,553 brain cells and also endangers your soul. Still, we think it's worth the risk. Democracy is messy.

Here to comment on the 2021 elections in Virginia is Joy Reid:


Thank you,  racist RedSquirrel,

I am extremely disappointed in the election of Glen Youngkin. The racist voters in Virginia voted against Critical Race Theory. These voters don't want their children to be taught the truth that America was founded on White supremacy. Instead they want racist subjects like mathematics, science, and English to be taught.

Black White Supremacist Winsome Sears was elected the new LIEutenant Governor of Virginia. She is the new Black face of White supremacy. She is a traitor to the cause of racial justice.

She is worse than that Republican racist Larry Elder. He is also the Black face of White Supremacy. Some racist voters of California who voted for him deserve to be followed around by people in ape masks and have eggs thrown at them.

The racist voters elected Ms. Sears and Mr. Youngkin as if White parents actually should have a voice in their own kid's education! They voted for Jim Crow!

These domestic terrorists are as bad as the Ku Klux Klan! Today they took control of their kid's education, tommorrow, Blacks will be lynched by these racist maniacs.

Where is Black Lives Matter when we need them?

That's all for now. I am Joy Reid.......................

Floyd R. Turbo: I Support A Second American Civil War


Hello, my name is Floyd R. Turbo, and I believe America needs a second American Civil War.

As you know, this country is divided.

Why should red states be allowed to impose their freedom on us blue states? I say we need a national divorce. We should build a wall around these out of control red states. Let us demand that these crazy conservative red state governors stop trying to mandate their 'DEADLY no-mask' mandates on us. 

I think they are trying to KILL us!

Also, why should these red states allow kids in school to walk around without masks? Don't they know that the government is ALWAYS RIGHT? These brats need to learn to 'bend a knee' or they will wake up on a respirator!

Then there's these mothers speaking up at school board meetins, complaining 'bout C.R.T. I cannot believe how disrespectful these domestic terrorists can get. Holy cow, they are so racist! They won't let our wonderful government school teachers teach their kids that America is a racist country founded on White supremacy!

Also, these right-wing insurrectionist Trump supporters can't accept that Trump lost fair and square! They rioted inside the capitol, and took selfies!!! Those capitol police should NOT have waved these violent lunatics in!!!

Sure, Trump told his army of maniacs to 'protest peacefully and patrioticly, but we know what he REALLY meant! These people need to be kept in Biden's secret prisons!

Before we declare war, we should impeach Donald Trump again! I think the January 6th commission is a good idea! If Nancy Pelosi calls everyone who supported Trump to testify we could win the civil war easily! All our enemies will be busy testifying.

It is brilliant that President Biden is infiltrating the red states with thousands of illegal aliens. They can do a lot of damage! We should also confiscate all the guns in the red states. 

I am Flord R. Turbo. That is all for now.




Tuesday, November 2, 2021

I Just Voted


Your bushy-tailed correspondent just voted at the church about two blocks away from the palatial oak tree where I reside..

There is a huge Black Lives Matter flag atop the Longfellow neighborhood church, and I was thinking about complaining, but it wouldn't do any good anyways.

We have 'ranked-choice' voting in Minneapolis, but I voted for only one candidate. I voted for Black-Republican Laverne Turner to be our Mayor. He's good on law and order. He was on The Justice and Drew Radio Show. Sounded good.

I also voted 'no' on the city referendums. If you reside in Minneapolis, chances are that nearly all our city referendums are stupid, leftist ideas. There was a 'rent control' item. Nobody in charge would ever think about writing up a referendum cutting property taxes.

Nobody has written up a referendum to get rid of these stupid mask mandates and to re-open the 3rd Precinct Police Station. 

I also voted 'no' to change the city charter to rid ourselves of our MPD. There are two groups who want to defund or get rid of our police. Idiots and criminals. There's also a third group, idiotic criminals.

I voted against our nutty leftist city councilman, Cam Gordon. I voted for some guy named Guy. I understand he's a republican.

There were other races that I didn't care so much about. I just hope nobody tries to chop down my tree to make way for more light rail.

Thanks. RedSquirrel.

Monday, November 1, 2021

SONG PARODY ALERT: D.J. JACK-ASS Terry Raps 'Parents Just Shouldn't Have A Voice'


The voters in Virginia are going to elect a governor tomorrow. Democrat candidate Terry McAuliffe recently said that parents shouldn't have a say in their kid's education. He appears to be obsessed with Donald Trump even though Trump isn't on the ballot.

Here to rap about it in the style of D.J. Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince is D.J. JACK-ASS TERRY:


Parents think their kids are theirs but that's a mistake

I say the children belong to the state

When it comes to abortion, women should have a choice

But, when it comes to education, Parents just shouldn't have a voice


So this year, your Mama addressed the school board meeting

and gave the school board a verbal beating

Do you think she can complain about C.R.T. and not be

shown the door? Of course not!

You think you be buggin' 'bout your kids having to wear a mask

Just be quiet.....Don't you dare even ask

Your kids belong to the state and we will teach them whatever

communist garbage we want

How dare you parents complain about a rapist in a skirt?

We rule and you little people are lower than dirt

We'll indoctrinate your little crumb-crunchers with non-stop lies

We have the authority to undermine

So, you think us elitists are insane

that we think that we get to own their little brains

You think you run your kids lives? We think you're sick!

You parents are all deranged lunatics!

You cause consternation, thinking you have a choice

When it comes to education, Parents just shouldn't have a voice


O.K., we got this situation

Parents think they run their children's education, 

but the teacher's union and

the school board are your rulers, We don't care what you say....

Of course not

If you complain at the school board meeting

We'll call the police, We won't be retreating

We might call A.G. Garland

and you'll be charged as a 'domestic terrorist'

Don't pay attention, you have no say in what is taught

We might force your kid to get a Covid shot

You say that C.R.T. is rather shocking, but we don't really care

You domestic terrorists are mean, and we think you should be scared

A,G, Garland will throw YOU in detention

We hate it that you're paying attention

You should just leave the education to the pros

We don't care if you think C.R.T. blows

If you don't like it. we'll ARREST  the angry hoard

We are your masters. We're the local school board

If you don't believe, then you're making a mistake

Leftist commies are the same...no matter what time or place

You think you run education, and you got a choice?

Take it from me, parents should not have a voice!