We here at The RedSquirrel Report are seeking answers for the disasterous results on Election Night, and we thought that we would ask a regular American voter to tell us why America voted (or didn't vote) in the way they did:
YOO-HOO!!! WE BEAT THOSE REPUBLICAN FASCISTS!!! NOW WE GET TO THROW THEM IN JAIL JUST FOR DARING TO OPPOSE US!!!! Oops, I just ate some glue..
I am so glad the Democrats won majorities in The House and The Senate The price of gas was way too high and that rotten President Trump STARTED THE WAR IN IRAN. We voted for OPEN BORDERS, DRAG QUEEN STORYTIME, AND MEN IN GIRL'S LOCKER ROOMS. We Democrats are INK CLUE SIVE!!!!
We voted FOR that nice Christian James Talarico and THAT NICE MUSLIM El-Sayed to The Senate! Soon, the streets will run red with the blood of greedy capitalists!!! HOORAY!!!!
In Minnesota, the voters elected a Somali being investigated for running a fraudulent day care center. I think it's wonderful that they're giving all the Somali criminals a second chance by electing them!!! They should put Somali gangs in charge of law enforcement!!!
We re-elcted Ilhan Omar. It's nice that she loves her brother. OOPS, I JUST ATE MY PURPLE MARKER. IT TASTES LIKE GRAPE. It must be a tough job to represent HER DISTRICT IN MINNEDISHU SOMALISOTA!!!!
I understand that Wisconsin has about 5 million residents of voting age, but 7 million voters who voted on Tuesday night. Now THAT'S WHAT I CALL ''GETTING THE VOTE OUT!!!''
Maine voters finally voted that RIGHT-WING LUNATIC SUSAN COLLINS!!! OUT OF OFFICE! I'm so glad!!!
ONE OF THE LESSONS OF THIS ELECTION IS THAT THE R... AND M........ OF AMERICAN WOMEN IS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY SO THAT VIOLENT UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS CAN STAY IN THIS COUNTRY AND VOTE AND GET TONS OF FREE STUFF!!!
I heard that they have two candidates with the same name in the Alaska Senate race. Wow, WHAT A COINCIDENCE!!!
In Los Angeles, One corrupt Female Black Communist defeated another corrupt Female Black Communist in the mayoral election. THREE CHEERS FOR DIVERSITY!!!
In CONFUSION, I am so glad that we have the majorities in The House and The Senate. Say goodbye to the war in Iran, and hello to OPEN BORDERS, INCREASED FRAUD AND MONEY LAUNDERING, MEN IN WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOMS, CIVILIAN DISARMAMENT, NON-STOP IMPEACHMENTS, AND POSSIBLE SHARIA!!!
Dang, I just glued my ear to my shoulder!!!
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