This Week's Reading: The Book Of James (Talarico) ''Faith In A Non-Binary God And The Pollsters''

 

We begin this reading in the Third Chapter of James (Talarico)

1. And in the days of primaries, Francesca Hong's 29 point lead evaporated, and there was a great voter drought, and she lost.  2. Likewise, El-Sayed's 10 point lead came and went, like dust in the wind, and his poll numbers dropped like manna from heaven.

3. In those days, the FAITHFUL candidate Talarico lead against PAXTON by a margin of 3, and the democrats in Austin rejoiced, saying ''Surely, our non-binary God will deliver our eventual victory because the pollsters all say we are LEADING IN THE POLLS. IN AUGUST, AND THE POLLS ARE NEVER WRONG!!!

4. Then the prophets saw the future. 5. The polls tightened, and the rank-and-file Republicans began to pay attention. Talarico's lead shrank faster than his testosterone levels. 6. Surely, a tofu-eating ''Christian'' who insults beef-eating followers of Christ must have faith he will win in The Lone Star State.

7. On Election Day, Talarico rejoiced, saying ''I BELIEVE THAT I SHALL BE VICTORIOUS, JUST LIKE BETO, FOR THE POLLS SAY SO!!!''

8. BUT, ALAS, Talarico could barely even win in Austin. Paxton was victorious in In Dallas-Fort Worth and Houston and San Antonio. In East Texas and West Texas, an army of right-wing voters came forward and voted for The Normal Texan..