What Would Don Imus Be Saying Right Now?

With all of the lunacy happening in the news nowadays, I was wondering what radio legend Don Imus would be saying about it all right now. Here's a condensed version:: 

The Imus In The Morning Radio Show in progress......

(Quack Quack)

Imus: I'm liking that hottie Sophie Cunningham protecting her little buddy Caitlan Clarke from the nappy-headed hoes ROUGHING HER UP, and did you see her POINTING at the other player? I thought she was jost showing the illegal aliens and America-hating commies ''THE DOOR'' (Frank McCord laughs)......

(Everyone in the studio yells ''WE LOVE YOU, SOPHIE!!!!!'' in unison.)

Imus: So, we had an election in New York, and the STUPID voters elected that communist Islamo-NAZI BIGOT Zohran Mamdani. I'm a rich White Guy and HAD TO LEAVE THE CITY, so now we're in exhile here in SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO, and I'm hanging out with my brother Fred and  my wife Diedre Coleman Imus here at the ranch.

(Bernard McGirk); Has Mayor Mamdani opened up those government-ran grocery stores he was promising his retarded voters? They should be standing in line for toilet paper any day now.

Did you hear that bigot douche re-drew the immigrant map showing the enclaves and he erased the Jewish, Irish, and Italian  neighborhoods?

(BERNARD MCGIRK BRISTLES): THAT RACIST (QUACK)-HOLE!!!!! (Imus laughs).

Imus: I think there will be a street war between The Mohammadons and The Communists versus The Gambini's any day now, and I'm rooting for The Gambini's.....(QUACK QUACK)

In other news, I AM SO DISAPPOINTED that NAZI (QUACK) HOLE GRAHAM PLATNER dropped out of that SENATE race in Maine. Platner would have been SO GOOD FOR THIS SHOW!!!! HE COULD HAVE GIVEN US SO MUCH MATERIAL!!! (laughs)

He could still be in that race if he just announced his conversion to Islam. Mohammadons are EXPECTED to act like pigs around women. He could just say if he raped those women he was just OBEYING THEIR IMAGINARY MOON IDOL ALLAH!

Oh, did you see that braindead whackjob Sunny Hostin on ''The View''? SHE said that she saw all the American flags during The Independence Day weekend and she was afraid?

(Bernard McGirk): Why, is she a communist spy?

Imus: All the looney idiots call you an ''Islamophobe'' if you don't want your wife stoned to death, and your daughter raped and murdered. What do you even CALL SOMEONE WHO HAS AN UNNATURAL FEAR OF AN AMERICAN FLAG????? GET A GRIP, GIRL!!!!!

Have you seen Secretary of State Marco Rubio? He has like 7 or 8 jobs now. He's even babysitting for Trump Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt's new baby.

....And now, it's the top of the hour news, here's our very own Charles McCord. Good Morning, Chuck)

CHARLES MCCORD: GOOD MORNING, I-MAN. In overnight news, President Trump ordered another round of bombings on Iranian military infrastructure........(The producer pops a cassette of THE GAP BAND ''YOU DROPPED THE BOMB ON ME''  into the tape deck)

(CHARLES MCCORD READS THE MORNING NEWS)

Imus: Is the GAYTOLLAH ALIVE????

Bernard: Why, are you missing your bae?

Imus: Shut up, you bald-headed bastard.(laughing) Shut up or I'll beat you like a rented mule. (EVERYONE IN THE STUDIO LAUGHS)