The RedSquirrel Report welcomes into our midst the amazing visitor from The East. Seer, soothsayer, and NEWS ANALYST......CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT!
A thousand welcomes, oh GREAT NEWS ANALYST! I hold in my hand an envelope containing a news script. The envelope has been hermetically sealed. It's been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Greg Gutfeld's front porch since noon yesterday. NO ONE knows what is written on this piece of paper inside the envelope except for you.....CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT!!!!
In your mystical and borderline divine way will ascertain the secret answer written on this piece of paper, having never before seeing it.
Quiet everybody.
Carnak holds the envelope over his eyes, pauses for a moment, and says........
"MR. POTATOHEAD, FLORIDA GOVERNOR RON DeSANTIS, and CHARLIE CRIST!"...........
Carnac tears the envelope open, blows into it, and reads what the message says.......
"NAME A SPUD, A STUD, AND A DUD....."
The crowd laughs and cheers loudly.
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