Joe 'Ron Burgundy' Biden's Word Salad Of The Day

My administration has created the most jobs in our country's history, unlike my predesessor who lost the most jobs. There were no jobs when I became President. Thousands of Americans have jobs because of Build Back Better!!!! I have the highest poll numbers in the country's history! ME.......JOE BIDEN!

Repeat the line.

My administration has created the most jobs in our vountry's history, unlike my predesessor who lost the most jobs, There were no jobs when I became president. Thousands of Americans have jobs because of Build Back Better!!!! I have the highest poll numbers in the country's history! ME......JOE BIDEN!

Don't repeat the line. Go to the next line.

This country needs oil, but American fossil fuels are causing global climate change. I have opened our national oil reserves, and now we're buying oil from our friends Russia and Saudi Arabula because foreign oil is cleaner than the dirty oil dug up in America!

The previous administration and their supporters tried to insurrect our Capitol on January 6th. We arrested scores of right-wing, grey-haired nazis, and our Jan 6 Select Committee are getting to the bottom of Donald Trump's attempted destruction of democracy!

Hetriedtoleadaviolentinsuurectionizingofthecountryzzzzazzzullllllll......

These mean-spirited right-wingers are also denying wpmen's reproductive health care, sending all women to the back alley. If they get their way, women will no longer be allowed to see their doctor!!!!

These Republican devils are RACIST!!!!!! They hate lesbians, gays, and transgendered-Americans. I'm proud to have 2 transgenders in my administration, at least one gay, several latinx's, many escapees from mental asylums, and I'm proud to be the only president to have nominated a Black womyn for the Supreme Court, although apparently she can't define what a woman is. Make sure to say this applause line really loud!

We are in the process of delivering on gun control. Soon, only The Taliban, dictators, The Chinese military, and The Police will have guns! Oh, and my former boss sold guns to drug kingpins in 'Operation Fast And Furious. !We have concrete proof that gun-free zones work! Just look at Chicago!

As for the rest of you, toughtoenailsshhlluptuppppppppp!!!!!

We are opening our Southern border to new Democrat voters, drug dealers, terrorists, and human traffickers! Whoops! The Republicans put that on the teleprompter! We have busses of new neighbors coming into your city.They do the work that Americans WON'T DO!

Well, my handlers are telling me that's the end of the speech. I have to take my nap. Goodnight.