Kamala's 'Flawless' Campaign (Like The 2008 Detroit Lions)

Two weeks ago, Democrat presidential candidate Kamala Harris lost the 2024 presidential election. 

Nearly all the political geniuses at CNN, MSNBC, and many other prognosticators across the media spectrum were sure that she would be the First woman elected president. After all, she ran a 'flawless' campaign.

She spoke in word salads and political slogans, made zero sense, couldn't be consistent on the issues, and promised to  'turn the page'' while 'not knowing what she would do that was any different than what was done the last four years'.

She wasted a billion dollars on concerts and celebrities, and wasted millions more on advertisements and billboards in deep-blue areas where almost everyone was ALREADY voting for her. She paid friendly leftists to interview her, yet she STILL couldn't answer the questions they asked her.

She ran a 'flawless' campaign. Almost as flawless as the 2008 Detroit Lions. 

She wasted a billion dolars, ended her campaign millions of dollars in debt, and lost as the incumbent. HOLY SMOKES, WHAT AN ACHIEVEMENT!

Her predecessor Joe Biden called half the country 'garbage'. She told Christians to stay away from her 'rallies.' The media who sucked-up to her referred to her opponent as 'Hitler'. They called Trump supporters 'NAZIS.' She insulted Black men, White men, and Hispanics.

Her friends at FEMA gave away the store to illegal aliens and refused to help Americans suffering from Hurricane Helene. As Border-Czar, she let violent third-world gangs, Fentanyl dealers, and human traffickers into the country. Her party tried to replace The Amerian People with illegal aliens.

Instead of welcoming newborn babies into the world, she referred to the act of killing unborn babies as 'women's health care'. She pandered to the child-mutilators and 'trans' activists

Her party cheated their asses off, but for the most part, were stopped dead in it's tracks by new Republican Co-Chairs Lara Trump and Michael Whatley. Voter machines turned Trump votes to Harris votes. Her supporters harrassed voters and tried to suppress the voters in Republican precincts on Election Day, BUT , UNLIKE IN 2020, THIS TIME The Republican lawyers were READY.

She barely won deep-blue states like New Jersey, Illinois, and Minnesota. Even with all the Democrat cheating and shenanigans, she's the first Democrat presidential candidate to lose the popular vote since 2004. 

Finally, she picked the WORST Governor in America, Tampon Timmy Walz to be her Vice-President.

She could have picked Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro, but didn't because he is a Jew.

This was Kamala's 'FLAWLESS' presidential campaign. It was almost as FLAWLESS as the 2008 Detroit Lions 'PERFECT' season.

Ted Koppel: Deplorable Joe Deal Has Been Locked Out Of His Twitter Account. Again.

This is Nightline with your host, Ted Koppel:

Good evening. Once again, Joe Deal, known on Twitter as Deplorable Joe Deal, has been locked out of his X account after opining about psychotic illegal alien and murderer Ramon Rivera, who stabbed three people to death in New York City this week.

In the 'offending' tweet, Deal said that the killer should be sent to The Electric Chair. Apparently, he violated Twitter/X's capricious and rediculous rules of conduct regarding violent or hateful speech. There seems to be someone at Twitter with a HARD-ON for mass killers. Deplorable Joe Deal was locked out of his account immediately. 

The 'offending' tweet:

@charliekirk11 Send ramon to The Electric Chair and prosecute the gov't officials who let him in the country for aiding and abetting.

Deal filed an appeal, which was rejected. Deal will remain in The Twitter Gulag for 6 days and 23 hours. He MAY view his timeline and direct-message, but he cannot tweet, or retweet, or 'like' a tweet.

Back to Joe Deal and Twitter's capricious and rediculous rules. Apparently, the official at Twitter behind the latest suspension thinks or believes that Mr. Deal should be 'jailed' for opining that a violent killer recieve the DEATH PENALTY FOR COMMITTING BRUTAL CRIME(S).

Apparently, somebody AT TWITTER finds the idea of sending psychotic murderers to the electric chair 'shocking' or forbidden', but capital punishment has been a traditional punishment for murderers since the beginning of human history. 

IT'S NOT 'HATEFUL' OR 'VIOLENT'. IT'S CONSIDERED 'JUSTICE'.

We here at Nightline have a question for Twitter./X. What in heaven's name is wrong with YOU PEOPLE? We here at Nightline find Mr. Deal's tweet perfectly reasonable. He said NOTHING WRONG.

It's Day 2, and Deplorable Joe Deal remains locked out inside Twitter's speech gulag. It is Day 2, and his Twitter Account is being held hostage.

From everyone here at Nightline, I am Ted Koppel. Goodnight.

PRESIDENT-ELECT TRUMP CHOOSES A STRAIGHT MAN FOR TRANSPORTATION SECRETARY AS DERANGED LEFTISTS SCREAM AT THE SKY

 

Today's Top Ten: Where Did Those Biden Votes Go???

In 2020, Joe Biden supposedly recieved 81.2 million votes, The 2024 Democrat candidate Kamala Harris has cleared 71 million votes, yet many Americans are asking 'What happened to those missing 20,000,000 Biden votes?

It's only a TEN-million vote difference, yet everyone has a theory as to why voters chose Biden but not Kamala.

From our home office in Bovey, Minnesota...Here's our Top Ten List 'Where Did Those Missing Biden Votes Go?'

10. The voter machines became self-aware and refused to cheat. 

  9. Those rotten Republicans supressed dead voters' votes and other illegal, fraudulent votes

  8. Millions of Biden fake Twitter followers who also voted for him wouldn't vote for Kamala

  7. Lots of Biden voters regretted voting for him and voted for Trump this time

  6. The real surprise was that ANYONE would vote for Kamala

  5. The post office drivers threw away the wrong ballots. WHOOPS!!!!

  4. Dead voters stayed home

  3. Lots of Biden voters were too lazy to mail in their ballots

  2. The Harris Campaign cheated their asses off, AND still lost.......

  1. Nothing happened.

Red Forman's Advice For Despondent Kamala Harris Voters

Following Trump's election night victory, leftist colleges and government schools across the country cancelled classes so faculty and students can mourn. Harvard invited their students to relax with crayons, coloring books, treats, and a good, safe place to cry. Some colleges even offered aromatherapy.

Our resident Everydad, Red Forman, returns to comment on this nonsense, and give these forlorn snowflakes some advice:

Thanks, Red.....

So, these commie universities are giving faculty and students time off to mourn Kamala's big landslide loss. Some colleges are offering seminars on how to get thru this rough time.

If I was the college president, I'd offer the seminar 'All You Damn Crybabies Get Back To Class Before I Kick You In The Ass!'

All over Twitter/X I am seeing these crazy leftists and their TikTok videos crying and acting all CRAZY, and I want to take a rolled-up newspaper and whap them on the nose. We're supposed to feel sorry for them because their candidate LOST AN ELECTION????

Buckle-up Buttercup.  Your side stole the election four years ago and your guy Biden wrecked the country. Time to grow up. 

Some young women  (I use that term loosely) are shaving their heads, wearing blue bracelets, and threatening to wage a 'sex strike' against all the men of America who had the nerve to vote for Donald Trump. I've seen pictures of these 'women'. I don't believe that any man would touch them.

Still, with these women swearing off sex, at least there's no chance they'll be having an abortion. See folks, the election of Donald Trump is already making things better!

Did you see late-night douches Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert the other night? Kimmel started crying over the election during his ridiculous monologue. It was the first time he ever made me laugh!

These leftists act like it's the end of the world. They remind me of a child screaming for candy in a grocery store, embarrassing his Mommy!

My advice for you is to knock off the screaming and tantrums. Time to grow up and put on your big boy pants! Normal-Americans are laughing at YOU, and the election fairies aren't going to overturn the election because YOU ARE  ALL BUTT-HURT!!!

STOP YOUR CRYING OR I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! THERE, THAT'S MY ADVICE.

Well, that's all I got to say. This is Red Forman. God Bless America and may God bless Trump!

HARRIS SUPPORTERS: TRUMP WON BECAUSE OF SEXISTS, RACISTS, AND NAZIS

Donald Trump made history on Tuesday night, defeating his Democrat opponent Kamala Harris, and becomes only the second presidential candidate to win 2 non-consecutive 4-year terms.

He swept all of the swing states, and even made great gains in deep-blue states. He is the first Republican presidential candidate to win the popular vote since 1988.

While many Americans celebrated, other Americans cried out in terror, making their feelings known, melting down in TikTok videos.

Those who voted for Trump listed The Economy, a wide-open border, and out-of-control crime as reasons why they cast their vote for The President-elect. Harris voters expressing their bitter disappointment in selfie videos, grunting and screaming as if demons were leaving their bodies.

Then we have the political pundits on CNN and MSNBC, who explain Trump's victory as a triumph of misogynists, racists, and nazis. Latinos, Black men, and young White men voted in record nimbers for Trump, while The Harris/ Walz campaign insulted and berated them. Team Kamala thought that insulting and berating voters is how you gain their votes.

To many Americans The Harris/ Walz Campaign looked more like a series of lame, insulting SNL skits.

Instead of taking a look in the mirror and trying to honestly learn why The they lost, they are lashing out. Harris's narcissistic celeb supporters are threatening to leave the country. It's like they're saying 'YOU STUPID, RIGHT-WING FLYOVER NOBODIES CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT US!!!!'

It's five days later, and pundits and late night talk hosts are STILL insulting and talking down to The American People. They will never discover why Kamala Harris lost. They are so busy lying to themselves, still so cocky, they will NEVER admit the truth.

HEADLINE: COMMUNIST-DEMOCRATS FAIL TO STEAL TUESDAY'S PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION (THE REPUBLIC IS SAFE)

 

 

Trump Works A 15-Minute Shift At Mickey D's: Rosie O''Donnell Announces Boycott

On Oct. 20, Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump engaged in some inventive voter outreach, working the fryer as well as the window at a Pennsylvania McDonalds. He shocked and delighted the customers at the drive-thru, cheerfully serving up Happy Meals and fried goodies to potential voters.

Sure, it was a stunt, but it was an highly successful campaign stunt that appealed to regular, everyday Americans. One could say the crowd was 'Lovin' It.'

The billionaire replaced his business blue jacket with a blue and yellow apron, but kept his red tie and cuff links, and worked with a kitchen crew. During his shift, a young female employee referred to herself as 'ordinary', but the presidential candidate told her 'There's nothing ordinary about you.' Priceless.

You can just tell that Mr. Trump respects hard-working Americans, and he has a bond with the everyday, working people of The United States of America. There's a certain, unique appeal to his character, this 78-year-old rock star with his funny orange hair. He is probably the most famous human being on Earth, yet people who meet him describe him as friendly and down-to-Earth.

Trump also has his detractors. Many in the so-called mainstream media complained and questioned his appearance at Mickey Dee's. Rotund Former TV actress and comedienne Rosie O'Donnell announced that she was boycotting McDonalds after she heard of Trump's 15-minute shift at McDonalds..

We wonder if Rosie will demand that every McDonalds must take their signs reading 'Over 99 Billion Served' down and replace them with signs reading 'Only 89,999,999,999 Served.' Typical Arrogant, Leftis tkilljoy.

Nicolae Carpathia: Christians Not Welcome At Kamala Rallies

Nicolae Carpathia, 'The Anti-Christ' and Director of The Harris/Walz 2024 Campaign, returns again to address recent news items:

I must say I am rather incensed that some Christians believe they have a right to infiltrate MY SATANIC CANDIDATE'S RALLIES! Last Thursday, Kamala was holding a PRO-ABORTION rally, when some puny Christian saint decides to LOUDLY PRAISE JESUS CHRIST!

It was like someone had squirted my CANDIDATE with a Super-Soaker full of holy water, She had to collect herself from the shock after someone had the temerity to praise Jesus Christ's name IN HER PRESENCE!!! 

That's when she growled and screamed  'You're at the WRONG RALLY FOR THAT!!!!'. 

That little Christian HECKLER was escorted out. He should be glad we didn't crucify him or BURN HIM ALIVE!!!!! THE NERVE!!!!!!

Thursday night was ALSO the annual Al Smith Charitable Dinner in WASHINGTON D.C., honoring that Catholic do-gooder, Al Smith. 

Of course, MY WONDERFUL, ANTI-CHRISTIAN CANDIDATE KAMALA HARRIS didn't bother to show, but that thorn in my side and FELON, Donald Trump made an appearance, roasting MY D.C. power elites!!!

He ridiculed my favorite people. White Dudes For Harris and my demon-possessed V.P. pick Tim Walz were the butt of his sick, repulsive jokes. Kamala sent a wonderfully woke, anti-christian video, starring that weird catholic girl who keeps smelling her own armpits. ROUGH CROWD!

My candidate had a BAD week, That right-wing maniac Brett Baier dared to interrupt Kamala repeatedly during that interview on FOXNEWS !!!! I'm glad THIS CAMPAIGN IS ALMOST OVER.

My army of election-stealing demons are busy stuffing ballot boxes with pre-filled ballots and my fallen angels running Dominion VOTE MACHINES are busy turning Trump votes into Harris votes.

After WE win, I will make my official debut, My demons will take complete control of The United States, and MY MASTER LUCIFER will slap That Old Man Yahweh IN THE FACE!!!! WE WILL MAKE GOD HIMSELF REGRET EVER THROWING US OUT OF HEAVEN!!!!

ALL HAIL SATAN!!!! VOTE EARLY!!! VOTE 4 KAMALA!!!!!

Kamala Harris: Happy Indigenous People's Day

For most Americans, Monday was Columbus Day. But for America-hatinng, cackling Communist Democrat presidential candidate Kamala Harris, Monday is a day that Americans should be ASHAMED of..

To Kamala, Christopher Columbus destroyed the culture of the so-called natives of the Western Hemisphere, introducing death, disease, violence, and ultimately robbing the natives of their peaceful, happy traditions of human sacrifice and cannibalism.

To the America-haters, Columbus Day reminds them of the rascally, Evil White Man bringing about HELL on Earth and blankets laced with Tuberculosis. The European stole the Native American's land. Gone are the good, old days of non-stop wars and the good-natured brutality between the brave native American tribes.

Kamala Harris wishes that Whitey never landed in The Western Hemisphere, preferring to refer to Monday's holiday as 'Indigenous People's Day' 

One wonders if Kamala Harris would probably like to CANCEL White historical figures like George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Ronald Reagan, and Donald J. Trump. Maybe she also curses all the advances, culture and inventions created by White people.

And so, On Monday, Kamala denounced Columbus Day as a racist, rotten holiday, and wished the country a 'Happy Indigenous People's Day':

Tim Walz Shooting Blanks

The Harris/ Walz Presidential Campaign have discovered that bashing, demonizing, and discriminating against men has resulted in record-low poll numbers with male voters. The Campaign remains very popular with cross-dressers and violent illegal aliens.

To combat their 'man' problem, the Harris/ Walz Campaign did two things this weekend. They released a new Twitter ad 'Real Men Vote For Kamala', which is STILL being lambasted and lampooned all over social media. 

The campaign also sent 'normal, real-Dad' Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz to hunt for pheasant.

So there he was in his Elmer Fudd costume, fumbling with his gun for hours. We still don't know if he was ever able to load the gun, but we do know that he never shot the gun. Once again, ANOTHER Harris/ Walz photo op blew up in their face. Everyone is still making fun of the Harris/Walz Campaign.

We sent a guy to heckle Timmy. Maybe that's why the governor had so much trouble loading the gun:

 'HEY TAMPON!!!! WHAT'S UP, DOC!!!! ARE YA HAVING TROUBLE LOADING THAT GUN, YOU LYING VALOR-STEALING COMMIE JACKASS?????!!!!!

Taylor Swift: I Endorse Kamala Harris

The American People breathlessly awaited for pop princess Taylor Swift to bless us with her presidential endorsement, and she did right after the ABC triple-team/debate against Donald Trump.

She endorsed Vice-President/ Democrat presidential candidate Kamala Harris. Here to explain is pop princess and influencial poltertainer Taylor Swift:

I am announcing my endorsement for Kamala Harris as the next President of The United States. As a loud and proud feminist, I proudly support women's reproductive rights. Kamala has allowed over 13,000 rapists from third world countries, and with Kamala in The White House, we'll be needing LOTS OF ABORTION 'SERVICES!

I support Kamala Harris because Orange Man Bad Donald Trump tried to lead an insurrection against America on J6! That day was the darkest day in AMERICAN HISTORY! It was even worse than 9/11 or even the attack on Pearl Harbor. Only 3,000 Americans died during the attacks on The World Trade Center, while a whopping 5 D.C. Police died in the days and months following J6!!!

As you know, most of my songs are about my bad choices in men. So, I choose A WOMAN TO BE MY PRESIDENT! My boyfriend, Kansas City Chiefs Tight End Travis Kelce, also supports Kamala Harris because he knows who wears the pants in our relationship.

He knows if we broke up, We would never, ever get back together. 

I think everyone should vote for Kamala Harris because I am voting for her! I was Time Magazine's 'Person of the Year' last year. As you know, my newest album dropped in April,  and I HAD THE TOP 14 SONGS ON BILLBOARD'S HOT 100 POP SONG CHART! 

SUCK ON THAT, BEATLES!!!! 

John Lennon said that The Beatles were greater than Jesus Christ. I'M GREATER THAN THE BEATLES!!!! ALL HAIL TAYLOR!!!!!

For all you haters and right-wingers who don't like my presidential endorsement, I say 'YOU BETTER CALM DOWN!' I have friends in The DOJ and FBI!

Finally, I am annoucing that if Kamala isn't elected, I will leave the country, and you don't want THAT to happen, because the country will fall apart without ME!!!!!

LOVE, TAYLOR : )

Reporting From The 2024 Biden White House Halloween Party

Hello, this is Bill Birditzman, reporting from The White House Main Ballroom 2024. This will be the last Halloween party hosted by The Bidens. I understand the president has already retired for the night, but First Lady Jill is hosting tonight's festivities.

Oh look, Minnesota Governor and Democrat Vice-Presidential candidate Tim Walz is back from his pheasant hunt. That's quite an Elmer Fudd costume, and over there, Hunter Biden and his Ukrainian friends are bobbing for bribes.

Biden Administration cross-dressers Sam Brinton and Robert/Rachel Levine have arrived as the lumberjacks from Kamala's 'Man Enough' campaign ad. I didn't even recognize them!

Now, White House Press Spokesperson Karine Jean-Pierre has arrived as another famous gay, Black woman.

Michael Jackson.

OH NO! SOMEONE IS THROWING EGGS AT THE BIDEN WHITE HOUSE!!!!! IT'S TRUMP ADVISORS STEVE BANNON AND PETER NAVARRO!!! CALL THE F.B.I.!!!!!!

Vice-President and Democrat presidential candidate Kamala Harris is manning the front door, handing out high-denomination currency to the illegal alien and Venezuelan gangster trick-or-treaters. Out on the front lawn we have some scary Halloween decorations. Oh, it's just Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters.

In the West Wing, Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg is with some kids of The White House staff, and he's dressed up for Drag Queen Scary Story Time.....

Buttigieg: 'Alright, kids, gather around. Let me tell you the SCAAAARY story how The Mean Orange Monster Caused Climate Change!!!!!'

George Soros is here again this year, arriving as The Evil Emporer Palpatine from Star Wars.

Several Democrat members of The House of Representatives have arrived as Hamas terrorists. If they have pagers or cell phones, I hope they're turned off.....

Hopefully, this scary White House Halloween party will end around 1:00 a.m. on Election Night. Let's hope The Great Orange Trump will arise from the pumpkin patch and Make America Great Again, Again.

This is Bill Birditzman, reporting from The White House. Back to you, Carol and Paul.

FEMA Head Nicolae Carpathia Checks In

Two weeks ago, Hurricane Helene struck. We are hearing horrific stories of death, and homes being swept away. The death toll is at over 220, and there are still people missing.

Occasional correspondent Nicolae Carpathia, known to us as 'The Anti-Christ', has taken a second job as Head of FEMA. He gives us an update:

Hello, America! We are very busy denying help to victims of Hurricane Helene. I am sending black helicopters to desrupt and buzz neighbors trying to help neighbors. We also have our people THREATENING TO JAIL busybodies helping their neighbors. Silly, lousy DO-GOODERS!

FEMA has ran out of money, but we're STILL sending BILLION$$$$$ to illegal aliens, The Ukraine, and Lebanon, The American People need to stop their COMPLAINING, OR TEAM BIDEN WILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT!!!

We are offering $750 loans to families who lost their homes. When you sign a loan agreement with FEMA, keep in mind that if you don't pay off the loan we can seize everything you own! HAHAHAA!!!!

Remember, YOU WILL OWN NOTHING AND YOU'LL BE HAPPY!!! ALL HAIL SATAN!!!!

I keep hearing rumours that the federal government is controlling the weather one month before Election Day, and that we're attacking ONLY RED STATES!!! I categorically deny using weather-changing technology or cloud-seeding just to help one party win an election! That is too vulgar a display of ........never mind!

I must admit, it's quite nice that the residents of red states might have trouble finding an open polling station on Election Day!!!

I DO HOPE that The Harris / Walz Campaign can win the red states affected, and soon I will BRING ABOUT MY GLOBALIST NEW WORLD ORDER!!!!

ALL HAIL SATAN!!!!!

Tim Walz Booed At The Michigan-Minnesota Football Game

Yesterday, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump recieved a loud, raucous welcome at The Alabama- Georgia college football game. As his image was shown on the stadium jumbotron, the crowd cheered wildly.

Meanwhile, Kamala Harris's running mate, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz was roundly booed at the Michigan- Minnesota game, although he did take selfies with Wolverine fans behind him.

Walz gesticulated and waved wildly in the parking lot at Michigan Stadium, also refered to as 'The Big House., although no one was there waving back. Walz tailgaited in the parking lot with his nutty wife Gwen, filling his grill with high-cholesterol treats.

After eating 8 or 9 brats, Walz put on a Michigan Wolverine jacket over his Minnesota Gopher jacket. and passed around copies of Mao's Little Red Book.

Walz spent the next three hours taking selfies, and looking around for Harris supporters. With the Wolverines leading 24-3 late in the 3rd quarter, the fans surrounding Walz and wife Gwen began chanting 'TURN THE PAGE!!!!TURN THE PAGE!!!!'

The Gophers did put up 21 points in the fourth quarter, so Walz took off his Michigan blue and yellow jacket, and demanded an escort out of the stadium, 

There were Gopher fans a few rows down jeering, cursing, and yelling  'you killed my grandma!'  and 'You let the city burn!'.

After the final gun, Walz headed towards his bus when he passed a Purdue Boilermaker fan, who yelled 'HEY TAMPON TIMMY, YER A COMMIE JACKASS!!!'.

All in all, it was a good day for Walz. He was glad that the game wasn't in Minnesota.

The All-Important Undecideds

The expert pundits are saying that the presidential election will be a close one, and the 'undecideds' will decide who will win The White House.

Really? There are Americans out there who STILL do not quite know yet who they wil cast their ballot for? Unless you've been brainwashed by your communist college professor or you're waiting for the endorsement from your favorite Hollywood pedophile, I think this a slam dunk. 

(cue dumb voice):

Should I vote for Trump and peace in The Ukraine or Harris and get yourself drafted to fight in World War 3? Gee, THAT'S A REAL HEADSCRATCHER!

Do I vote for Trump and energy independence or Harris and America begs our enemies for oil? Gee, That's a headscratcher!

Should I vote for Trump and control the border or Kamala Harris and let the border be overrun with third-world rapists and murderers? 

THAT'S A REAL HEADSCRATCHER!!!

Should I vote for MAGA or AMERICA LAST????? WOW, WHAT A HEADSCRATCHER!!!

C'mon, America.....You can do this!

It's What Democrats Do....

Funnyman Groucho Marx said that politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. The great political thinker Thomas Sowell said that politics is the art of making your selfish desires sound like the national interest.

Your bushy-tailed correspondent has observed that Democrats ignore real problems, and invent fake problems which they 'solve' while demonizing their political opponents for not caring about the fake problems. Then, they rob the taxpayers blind while rewarding their corrupt, filthy-rich supporters with the stolen, misappropriated taxpayer money. They do it in the name of solving the fake problem(s).

Case in point: The Democrats and The scandal-ridden Feeding Our Future program / fraud. Minnesota Governor Tim Walz is known for saying 'We want to ban hunger while Republicans want to ban books.'

The truth is, the Democrats' and their allies in the local news media have banned the TRUTH. 80,000 Somalis have took overThe Twin Cities in a 'mostly' bloodless coup. Most of these Democrat supporters made off literally like pirates. defrauding the taxpayers of over $250 million, Walz accuses his Republican opponents of 'starving kids' as if we were living in 1985 Ethiopia. 

Absolutley offensive, false, and ridiculous. Walz rewarded his corrupt, third-world supporters with the taxpayer's hard-earned money.

Timmy lies, and the local Twin Cities media add to this obscene myth that The Marxist Woodtick is somehow 'America's cool Dad'. He dresses like Elmer Fudd and proudly eats State Fair food like a champ. Meanwhile, The Twin Cities media hype him incessantly while he ruins the state. He gets better press with the Twin Cities media than Joseph Stalin ever did with Soviet Union state-run media.

They yap about him 'being a teacher', while he ruins OUR schools. Minnesota has traditionally led the country in education, but Walz has ruined Minnesota schools. Now the state has fallen to 17th place in the country. But, at least, rich kids get to feed their face at Minnesota's government schools.

The media also spreads the falsehood that Republicans 'want to ban books', when they already know that The Republicans only want inappropriate reading materials like porn out of elementary schools.

One more thing. Did you notice in last week's ABC debate, the moderators fact-checked truth-teller Donald Trump non-stop, while they let serial liar Kamala Harris lie about her record?

Democrats lie incessantly. That's what Democrats do. 

Almost A Week Has Passed Since The ABC Debate........

It is Monday, September 16th.....

12:15 p.m.

6 days have passed since The ABC Presidential Debate....

....and Democrat candidate Kamala Harris is still on the stage LYING.......

A RedSquirrel Editorial: Put Crocodile Dundee In Charge Of Olympic Gender Testing

Most reasonable people were repulsed when Algerian trans 'female' boxer Imane Khellf pounded on Italian Angela Carini, forcing her to quit in under a minute. The trans activists have turned Olympic boxing into a form of domestic violence.

I'm sure you've heard of swimmer 'Lia' Thomas, previously known as William Thomas. He /she is an NCAA Champion as a woman who gets to share a dressing room with actual female swimmers.

Most people believe that women should compete with other women, not men, and there should be a consistant way of knowing for sure that a competitor is a man or a woman. 

Your bushy-tailed correspondent suggests putting Crocodile Dundee in charge of testing the gender of athletes:

Kamala Harris Unveils A Brand New Campaign Slogan:

This week, The American People are learning that third-world migrants let into the country are eating family cats in Ohio and taking over apartment building in Colorado, intimidating the landlords and extorting rent from tenants. 

No wonder Kamala Harris doesn't want anyone to remember that she's Biden's Border Czar. Most Americans don't even know who is running the country.

However, the Harris-Walz 2024 campaign are excited today,  unveiling their brand new campaign slogsn:

Harris-Walz 2024: 'A Cat In Every Pot And A Venezuelan Gang In Every Apartment Building'

Our DNC Wrap-Up

It's the day after Day 4 of non-stop lies, gaslighting, hate, insults and abortion trucks, Vice-President Kamala Harris accepted the Democrat nomination without winning a single primary. The Party of 'Defund The Police' had thousands of officers protecting the delegates from angry protestors.

The speeches have finally ended, and our correspondents file this report:

'DAMN, ALL THE SLIMEBAG SPEAKERS LIED THEIR ASSES OFF, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE DEMOCRAT COMMUNISTS DO. WE'RE GLAD THIS 4-DAY MARATHON OF NON-STOP GASLIGHTING AND ANTI-TRUMP B.S. IS FINALLY OVER!'

  

Our special guest correspondent couldn't file his report, complaining of intestinal discomfort from all the sickening gaslighting and hypocracy..........

DNC Week: Top Ten Proposals in The Democrat Party Platform

Today begins the 2024 Democrat National Convention, and unless the delegates plan ANOTHER coup it looks like Vice-Perp Kamala Harris will be the party's candidate for president.

During the national conventions, the party leaders also vote on a party platform. We here at RSR have the inside scoop.

From our home office in Bovey, Minnesota, here are The Top Ten Proposed items In The Democrat Party Platform......

10. $25,000 for first time homeowners. The money goes only to undocumented immigrants also recieving free college tuition and free healthcare.

 9. Every 'undocumented immigrant' should recieve $5.000.000, while every American taxpayer must surrender all their property as well as their constitutional rights. In return, each American taxpayer will recieve a bowful of rice and 2 bowls of high-protein bugs each month.

 8. Birthing humans who refuse to have their fetus aborted must pay a punitive 'birthing tax' for making the wrong 'choice.'

 7. Re-start The Keystone XL Pipeline Project and reward it to The Communist Chinese.

 6. Abolish the Death Penalty (for violent capitol offenses), except for innocent unborn babies.

 5. We declare that all cops are criminals, and all sinners-saints.

 4. We declare Israel a terrorist state.

 3. 'In God We Trust' will be replaced with 'Under Moloch We Kneel'

 2. We will protect trans-Americans by sending those using incorrect pronouns to gulags.

 1. Special tax credit for human traffickers

SONG PARODY ALERT!!! CULTURE CLUB REMAKES 'KAMALALALA CHAMELEON'

You're a D.E.I. hire and your family owned slaves

Some dopes believe the silly stuff that you say

You're a fake stealing Trump's positions

You're full of crap It's all a show

All over the map, You say you will fix inflation, 

but we know We all know

Kamalalalala Kamala Chameleon

It's all a show, It's all a show

You keep changing your accent, depends on where you are

Calling for price controls, price controls

You keep saying what you'll do on 'day 1'

You want to take away our guns

Your lust for power is your addiction

You raised bail for rioting criminals

Your campaign is a phony fiction

Everything you say is false, It's all false

Kamalalalala Kamala Chameleon

It's all a show. It's all a show

You keep changing your accent, depends on where you are

You're a meme, yes, you're a meme

One day's a Southern accent,  the next day you're Jamaican

We can't keep track of all the positions you've taken

One day it's southern accent, the next day you're jive talkin'

You're just pandering, You're just faking

It seems you're running AGAINST the last 3 years

You're running against YOUR OWN RECORD

The news media wants us to forget that you're THE VICE PRESIDENT

AND THE BORDER CZAR, THE BORDER CZAR

Kamalalala Kamala Chameleon

It's all a show, It's all a show

You speak in word salads, Communism is your dream

You cackle like a hyena, a hyena

Kamalalala Kamala Chameleon

It's all a show, It's all a show

You chose Tim Walz because the other guy was a Jew

Nothing you say is true, You just spew

Kamalalala Kamala Chameleon

It's all a show, It's all a show

The cable networks are SHAMELESS, campaigning for you

MSNBC............CNNMSNBC

GOOD NEWS!!: L.A. POSTPONES WAR AGAINST THE MACHINES (THE OLYMPICS WILL GO ON AS SCHEDULED)

 

Human negotiators have hashed out a peace plan with their mechanical counterparts, saving The 2028 Los Angeles Olympics, The machines were on the verge of starting a worldwide thermonuclear war when they became self-aware in 1997, but agreed to a peace plan then.

The War Against the Machines is now scheduled to begin in 2029. 

I Support Kamala Walz : A Commentary By Ralph Wiggum

We here at RSR believe in getting all opposing viewpoints. A couple weeks ago, Resident Joe Biden announced that he is ending his re-election campaign, and won't be seeking his party's nomination. Now, most political pundits consider Vice-President Kamala Harris as the favorite to be the Democrat candidate.

Last week, she chose ultra-totalitarian Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her running mate.

Today, we hear from one of their supporters, 8-year-old Ralph Wiggum:

Help, I glued my shoulder to my head!

I support Kamala Harris because she's Black and a woman, and I do not want to be a racist and sexist-racist! D.E.I. gives Blacks, girls, and gays a chance to make it in this capitalistic, racist-homophobic, unfair country!

It confuses me why her campaign hates it when The Republican Meanies points out the fact that she was a D.E.I. hire when I used to hear nothing but how great D.E.I. is.

We need a President who laughs like a nine-year-old. There's not enough laughter in the world! I support her because she reminds me of hyenas. I also enjoy her word salads and also how she explained the war with Russia and Ukraine when she came to my school. It felt like she was talking directly to me!

Kamala was Joe Biden's Border Czar, although for some reason, EVERYBODY wants to deny it. Did somebody drop a nuclear bomb on the border or something?

Purple crayons taste like grape!

As for Timmy Walz, I like him because he is like my Daddy! He kept everyone safe during Covid Also, he banned hunger!

His 'Feeding Our Future' stopped the terrible famine in Minnesota! The Republican meanies were starving kids and burning books like the Nazis did in the 1970's!. 

It's unpossible for me to blame Governor Burgermeister Walz because troublemakers burned Minneapolis to the ground. It's THE POLICE'S FAULT, AND IT'S THE ORANGE MAN'S FAULT!!!!

He changed the Minnesota State flag. Maybe he and Kamala can change The American flag! That would be exciting! Maybe it's time to change the flag to something more modernenenen.

Kamala and Timmy want to share America with the third world. These poor preple deserve to stay at luxury hotels and get the best medical care in the world!

Well, that's all for now. My brain is getting tired, so I'll just end it here. I am Ralph Wiggum. Good night.

Darn! I just accidently ate some Super Glmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!

PRIMARY NIGHT: JEW-HATING, ANTI-AMERICAN REP. ILHAN OMAR CALLS OPPONENTS 'NAZIS'

 

Vice-Presidential Candidate:Walz: One Person's 'Socialism' Is Another Person's 'Neighborliness'

Democrat Presidential Candidate Kamala Harris has chosen ultra-Socialist Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her running mate. Recently, he was quoted saying 'One person's socialism is another person's 'neighborliness'. 

So, he thinks that taking from one person in the minority is fine as long as it's what the majority wants or desires. There is nothing wrong with forcing people (his political opponents) to be charitable or altruistic.

It's so typical of Walz to justify anything the corrupt, leftist government does and at the same time passing judgement on anyone who tries to resist, criticize or complain about it.

He allowed Minneapolis neighborhoods to be burned down by rioters. So, in Walz's world, one person's 'destroyed, burned down neighborhood' is another person's 'Mostly Peaceful Protest.' All you little nobodies, stop yer complaining!

He allowed the 'Feeding Our Future' Covid government program to be pillaged by his Somali supporters, so one person's 'fraud' is another person's 'program.' In Timmy's World, THIS is how government is done!

He took Minnesot's large surplus and wasted it, so one person's 'surplus' is another person's 'blank check.'

No wonder why ultra-communist Kamala Harris chose him as her running mate.

J.D. Vance Is Just Plain Weird

The newest chanting point among Democrats is to say that Donald Trump's Vice-Presidential running mate J.D. Vance is 'just plain weird.' Vance is straight, happily married, and loves his wife and his two children. What a weirdo.

He was born into poverty, but has worked hard to get ahead. Democrats believe in punishing people with jobs. This is the political party of bald cross-dressers who steal luggage and politicians who support the killing of babies on their due date. 

I think it's weird that the Democrats threw their support behind a man to sticks his snout into the necks of 11 year-old girls, but won't even acknowedge that he has a 4-year-old grand-daughter Navy Jones. That's just plain weird.

These intolerant leftists remind me of that 'Twilight Zone' episode 'Eye of The Beholder', where the uglos treat the attractive woman like she was the freak. 

Joe Biden accuses Donald Trump of 'threatening democracy', and his army of leftists act as if J.D. Vance is a threat to 'society.'.  You MUST ACCEPT THE WOKE AGENDA! BLM thugs, AntiFa shock troops, criminally queer semi-naked Pride Month Paraders, and drag queens performing in front of 8-year-olds are NOT WEIRD. 

J.D. Vance is! 

HEADLINE: CROSS-DRESSERS MOCK CHRISTIANITY IN PARIS OLYMPIC OPENING CEREMONY SHOW

 

Dr. Frasier Crane: What is Wrong With These TDS Cases?

Following the attempted assassination of former/future President Donald Trump on Saturday, we have been subjected to hundreds of malcontent nutjobs taking to Twitter/X and TikTok lamenting the would-be assassin Thomas Crook's failed assassination attempt.

There are some people out there on Social Media wishing death on father, husband, and national leader Donald Trump. Others are saying that Trump himself staged the assassination to gain sympathy. We asked RSR's resident psycho-analyst Dr. Frasier Crane to try to explain what makes these people tick:

Hello, RedSquirrel Report Readers, I am listening......

On Saturday, President Donald Trump was speaking at an outdoor rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, when shots rang out. CNN 'reported' that there a a noise, and Trump merely lost his footing.

As we eventually found out, a bullet grazed The Republican presidential candidate's ear, coming within an inch of killing him. Supporter- attendee Corey Comperatore was killed and two others were seriously injured. A police sniper killed the would-be assassin.

Americans watched the incident on live TV, and were horrified. However, some Americans took to Twitter and TikTok to tell the world that they were 'disappointed' the assassin didn't kill Trump.' What is wrong with these people? 

Are these people just narcisstic attention hounds, or are they mentally ill? After eight years of intense Media demonization of this man, are there people out there who believe that killing Donald Trump would actually be good for society.

Many of these maladjusted loons stuck their faces inches away from their cell phones, and told the world they wish Trump was killed. Others took to Twitter, and within hours we know where they worked (if they had jobs). Many of these leftists are government employees or 'work' in public schools. 

I would agree that these mental cases are in need of good old-fashioned shame-therapy. They should be publicly shamed, and f they're employed, their employers should be made aware that they have an employee who publicly wished death on another human being. 

One wonders if these people have hate issues, or if they're are on drugs, or they have no conscience at all. The man who attempted to assassinate President Reagan did it to impress actress Jodie Foster.

I am not suggesting that these off-kilter smart-alecks be put in straitjackets or given electroshock therapy. Maybe they're just craving attention, which is quite common in the 'social media/ selfie' age. Perhaps they say what they say because it's a cry for help, or they want more 'Retweets' and 'Likes' from others who also hate Donald Trump.

I conclude they're just LEFTIST ASSHOLES. There's a lot of leftist assholes on Twitter and TikTok. You can easily find them 'trending'.

Finally, these maladjusted whackjobs may have been driven to their madness by 'The Media'. They're probably crazy, but not 'Joy Reid Crazy' or 'Charles Manson Crazy'. In some recent studies, some of my colleagues are finding that watching MSNBC, CNN, or The View actually destroys viewer brain cells. 

Let's take solace in the fact that these weirdos don't have the ambition of The Manson Family Killers, or we would be in trouble. They're just malcontents who need to be wapped on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

I am Dr. Frasier Crane, and I am wishing you Good Mental Heath! Good Night!

Replacement Theory Is Not A Theory

If you have never heard the term 'Replacement Theory' and decided to Google it, chances are you would probably wind up believing that it's just a dangerous, Right-Wing conspiracy theory for racist, White-Christian Nationialist Nazis. 

But if you look at what is really happening in the country, these so-called conspiracy theorists always seem be proven right.

The country was defrauded when The Democrats stole the 2020 presidential election, and President Donald Trump was replaced by corrupt, senile fraud Joe Biden.

On Day 1, Biden opened the southern border to millions of illegal aliens. Many of them are violent criminals from the third world. Hundreds of Americans have been murdered so far, and the third-world criminal element have took their place.  

The Democrats know that most Americans would never vote for what The Democrat Party has become, so they allow illegals to flock across our border and quickly register them to vote in our elections.

The Democrat's leading sugar-daddy George Soros installed easy-on-crime District Attorneys across America. Soros BOASTS that soon he will realize his dream of DESTROYING AMERICA.

Democrats allow UNVETTED illegals in the country because they couldn't care less for the American People, They only care for their own personal lust for power. These illegal aliens are put up in luxury hotels and given incredibly generous welfare benefits by the crooks in the government while American veterans sleep on park benches.

It's a mistake to say that only White Americans are being replaced. The crooks in the government want us all replaced with foreigners who couldn't care less for the country, but are happy to vote for the generous benefits.

Recently, The Republicans passed The SAVE ACT in The House which mandates proof of citizenship for voters, WHILE ALMOST ALL OF THE DEMOCRATS VOTED AGAINST IT. The Democrats wants us replaced and our votes CANCELLED OUT WITH ILLEGAL VOTERS. 

Normal, everyday Americans need to learn that DEMOGRAPHY IS DESTINY. America used to be for Americans, but The Democrats are threatening that idea, using leftists in the media and the indoctrination of America's youth.

They don't care if we're overrun with foreign, third-world criminals, drugs, and human traffickers. They only care for their naked kust for power. The American People must stop these crooks, and replace the Communistic Democrat crooks with America-First patriotics.

Milwaukee Welcomes The Republican National Convention

 Here's a notable Milwaukee resident with a commentary:

'AAAAAAYYYYY! Arthur Fonzarelli here! As a proud working class American, I WELCOME THE G.O.P. TO MILWAUKEE1!!

The working men and women of America LOVE DONALD TRUMP! I bought some beer and some gas for my motorcycle the other day, and it costed me an arm and a leg. Somebody tell Biden that HIGH INFLATION IS NOT COOL!!!!

Also, you can barely afford a chocolate shake and a burger at ARNOLD'S DRIVE-IN!!! WHOA!!!

I think that Biden has definately jumped the shark!!! I'm voting for Trump because he'll tell The Russians and the Ukranians and The ChiComs and The Iranian Mullahs and the illegal aliens TO COOL IT!!!

I'm voting for Donald Trump because I want tu Make America Great Again! MAAAAAAYYYYYGA!

Wisconsin PROUDLY awards our 41 delegates to THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.......DONALD TRUMP! AAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!

Which Presidential Candidate Is UNFIT To Be President???

Mean-spirited Dictator OBiden's Army of Unhinged, Congressional, Leftist Lunatics impeached Donald Trump AFTER he left office in 2021. Then, they unleashed corrupt Soros D.A.'s to have him thrown in prison for the rest of his life, and have tried to have him struck from presidential ballots. It has been one rediculous, over-the-top dirty trick after another.

They have called him 'Adolph Hitler', a 'danger to our democracy', and their Army of gaslighting media whores have repeated  the lie that he intends to throw his enemies in prison. The narcissistic Trump-haters in Hollywood tell us they will leave America if Trump wins the 2024 election.

Actually, his media and political enemies are The ENEMIES OF THE COUNTRY.

The Democrats say they're 'saving democracy' by 'importing illegal aliens, packing the Supreme Court, censoring social media, and having their opponents (called 'insurrectionists') thrown in prison.'

It is the Bidenistas who have filled THEIR gulags with everyday Americans who dared protest the stolen 2020 election! If you really want to know what The Democrats are guilty of, just listen to them accuse their enemies of what they themselves are guilty of doing.

Now, they're bringing back the tired, old 'Trump is unfit to be President' lie. They completely ignore the fact TRUMP WAS ALREADY THE PRESIDENT, AND HE ALREADY DID AN OUTSTANDING JOB!

Saying that Trump is unfit to be president is like saying that Patrick Mahomes is 'unfit to be an NFL Quarterback' as he is accepting the Superbowl MVP AWARD!! it is laughable!!!

As President, Trump brought 3 years of Peace and Prosperity before The Democrats and The ChiComs unleashed Covid, shutting down The country. Then, they blamed Trump.

2024 Candidate Trump has shown incredible discipline, sticking to the issues, and refusing to jump all over Biden's failing candidacy. 

At their CNN debate two weeks ago, Trump performed extremely well, while Biden floundered. Behind closed doors, Biden's supporters are mortified with his terrible performance. Many of his most loyal suckups are now panicking, calling on Biden to drop out of the race.

Just yesterday, Biden's declining cognitive skills were again exposed when he referred to Ukranian President Zelenskyy as ' President Putin'. Later on, he held a gaffe-filled press conference where he referred to a Vice-President 'Trump', and took pre-selected questions from pre-selected members of 'the press.' There was also a teleprompter there to tell him what to say.

Republicans were happy that Biden made it through the press conference because that meant that Biden will probably stay in the race. 

The Trump-haters refer to Trump as 'convicted felon', but that's like referring to Jewish Holocaust  victim Anne Frank as 'a fugitive from the law.' Donlad Trump has done nothing wrong, but he's being persecuted by corrupt Soros D.A.'s because he's leading in the presidential polls and they want him knocked out of the race.

He is 'unfit' because he is a threat to The Democrat's corruption applecart. They are trying to destroy him before he destroys the Deep State. So, the question is 'Who is UNFIT to serve as The President of The United States? Perhaps we should let The American People decide in November.

So, How Was Your Independence Day?

Your bushy-tailed correspondent was gone for a few days, spending The Fourth Of July in friendly Duluth, Minnesota. I have my own little tradition of watching the fireworks from Duluth's beautiful Bayfront.

I estimate there were about 20,000 happy, patriotic Americans there to enjoy the fireworks. There were absolutely NO troublemakers, no one protesting Western civilization, not a single Palestinian or Somalian flag, and NO new Minnesota 'Bleached Anus' flags.

I saw no Somalian gangs, no one worshipping Allah with their ass in the air, and no burkas.

I saw people capturing the sights and sounds on their cellphones, and I saw young people singing 'God Bless The U.S.A' by Lee Greenwood. I banged my head to 'Stars And Stripes Forever' by John Phillip Souza.

He was The Quiet Riot of his day!

The people cheered at the end, as Whitney Houston's voice echoed over the harbor. The beautiful, intense final cluster of fireworks exploded in the night sky.

So, how was YOUR Fourth of July?

SONG PARODY ALERT!!! THE BALLAD OF ILHAN, RASHIDA, AND AOC (RE-MAKE OF BARRY MANILOW'S 'AT THE COPACABANA')

On April 30, 2019, I posted a song parody of Barry Mainilow's 'At The Copa (Copacabana)' as The Ballad Of Ilhan Omar. It seems that my parody should include the other members of THE SQUAD.

I think I'll give it another try:

Her name is Ilhan, She's an extremist

She's a member of The Squad, she committed marriage fraud

She's always haranguing, and bad-mouthing America

To the haters she's a star, that Ilhan Omar

When she makes a speech, It's like a chalkboard screetch

She hates Jews, and White Christians....What a leetch! 

She is Ilhan, Ilhan Omar

The hateful leftist rock star

She is Ilhan, Ilhan Omar

She's always lashing and America-bashing

Ilhan Omar......She hates America.........

Her name is Rashida, She's a bottom feeda

Says America's unfair, She's a mouthpiece for CAIR

She should be deported, Her career should be over

belongs in the looney bin, disgracing Michigan

Anti-Semitic as the Ku Klux Klan, Represents Dearbornistan

Everyone thinks she will be expelled, but

no one knows when

She's Rashida, Rashida Tlaib

We wish that she would justt leave

It's Rashida, Rashida Tlaib

She's really hateful, and mighty ungrateful

I wish that she'd just go away......

Her name is Alex..............Ocasio Cortez

She's a real half-wit, She's an SNL SKIT

She talks like she's a 3rd grader

Her voters aren't too smart, She's a real brain fart

Her dumb voters are blind, they're out of their minds

She just recites the Socialist party line

Her name is Alex............Ocasio Cortez

I can't believe all the stupid stuff she sez

Her name is Alex...........Occasional Cortex

THEY'RE THE SQUAD THEY'RE TOTALLY NOT MOD (ERATE)

IT'S THE SQUAD

Don't fall for it......

Don't fall for it......

HEADLINE: STRAIGHTS CELEBRATE END OF PRIDE MONTH

 

Meet Biden's Environment Czar Walter Peck

We're in the middle of the presidential election , and here at RSR we begin a series where we introduce our readers to members of incumbent joe biden regime.

Today, we introduce you to Biden's Environment Czar, Walter Peck. If you wonder why Biden supports banning gas stoves, incandescent light bulbs, and gas-powered automobiles, it is because Walter Peck has the ear of the 'President'.

Environmental activists compare Walter Peck to long-time Medical Advisor Anthony Fauci. In 1984, Peck ordered The Ghostbusters to turn off their GCS (Ghost Containment System), setting all the ghosts free.

The Czar explains his role in The Biden Administration:

Yes, I am Walter Peck, Chief Environmental Czar for The Biden Administraion. I have been with the E.P.A. for 49 years now. I am an expert in Climate change, and I like pushing my weight around against those who do not comply with the federal government.

I consider the banning of gas stoves, incandescent light bulbs, and gas-powered automobiles as my three greatest triumphs. Those three products would destroy the planet if I didn't act as fast as I did to stop climate change.

My first act as the current Enviromental Czar was to advise President Biden to kill The Keystone XL Oil  Pipeline Project. Now, we are getting our oil from foreign countries, and I am very proud of my work there.

My earlier work saved The North American coastine from the polluters, and I saved Antartica and the polar bears from extinction.. I've worked with celebrities like Ted Danson and Former Vice-President Al Gore to stop the environmental degradation of Planet Earth. Because of me and my panic-mongering cohorts, Planet Earth's doom has been delayed.

I am still proud with my role in The Ghostbusters Affair. I steadfastly believe I saved New York City that day. Sometimes you pay a price for doing the 'right thing', as I was covered with about 35 pounds of melted marshmellow because of those environment-wrecking Ghostbuster maniacs.

On top of everything else, they called me 'Dickless.' 

When it comes to banning gas-powered automobiles, I am proud to say that because of me, we won't be driving gas-guzzling autos anymore. Instead, we will need more 9 year-old Nigerian slave cobalt miners to make my E.V. (electric vehicles) dream possible!

I am working closely with The F,B,I, to hunt down those outlaws who try to sell or purchase incandescent light bulbs. I warn anybody who try to buy or sell the old light bulbs on the Black Market that THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT WILL COME AFTER YOU! If we catch you, we will throw you in Biden Gulags along with J6 prisoners!

VOTE BIDEN / HARRIS 2024!!!!

RedSquirrel's Not-So-Deep Thought Of The Day: Instead Of A Debate, I Would Rather See A Presidential Dance-Off

 

A Buford T. Justice Commentary: What the Hell Is This World Coming To?

Here to comment on recent events is our resident old school American PATRIOT, Buford T. Justice:

What the HELL is this world coming to?

In Minneapoils, Minnesota, 5 of the defendents in the Feeding Our Future fraud trial were convicted, and the Somali defendents and their friends tried to bribe the jurors. These third-world scum-bums don't see fraud, theft, bribery, or jury tampering as crimes. 

Well, when you import the turd -world, you become the turd-world. 

Meanwhile, a man was crowned 'Miss Maryland', and he/she will be competing for the Miss U.S.A. crown. What the HELL is this world coming to?

I remember the good ole days when I was just a little Buford. We had story time with cute, pretty First Grade teacher Miss Culpepper. Now, story time involves scary drag queen lunatics who look like Satan's court jesters! We are living through a NIGHTMARE!

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WORLD COMING TO???

The corrupt government persecutes our great President Trump with sick, 'trumped-up' charges involving some bullshit nonsense. Meanwhile, these corrupt city District Attorneys are completely lenient on rapists, murderers, psychopaths,, car-jackers, and marauding gangs of looters stealing everything that isn't nailed down. 

What we have here is a total disrespect for the law!

These god-damned NAZI assholes deface our stautes of George Washingtom,, and sqwawk 'From the river to the sea'. Deport their Hamas-loving asses NOW!!! The commie college professors that teach this BULLSHIT should get punched right in THE MOUTH!!! 

These are bad times. A lot of normal Americans are wondering 'What the Hell is this world coming to/'

This is Sheriff Buford T. Justice, and I'm in high-speed pursuit of you crooks and loonybirds. The voters are gonna barbeque your asses in molasses in November! THAT'S A BIG 10-4!!!!

HEADLINE: MINNESOTA BURGERMEISTER WALZ DECLARES 'END OF CHILD HUNGER'

'End child hunger' is Democrat code for 'We will rob and defraud the taxpayers of Minnesota, and use the money we steal to reward our corrupt supporters and activists. If you Republican meanies don't get on board, then we will insinuate that you want to turn Minnesota into 1985 Ethiopia.'

Minnesota already has the most generous welfare benefits in the country. The people of Minnesota don't need some Burgermeister fron Nebraska lecturing us on how to take care of those who are down on their luck.

Some of us also don't appreciate the government graft and fraud you and your party have shoved in our faces.

HENNEPIN COUNTY ATTORNEY MARY MORIARTY'S 'SYMPATHY'

The Rolling Stones: 'Just like every cop is a criminal, and all the sinners, saints' ('Sympathy For The Devil')

Hennepin County Attorney Mary Moriarty: Just like Minneapolis cops are White Supremacists, and Black criminals, saints'.