I Support Kamala Walz : A Commentary By Ralph Wiggum

We here at RSR believe in getting all opposing viewpoints. A couple weeks ago, Resident Joe Biden announced that he is ending his re-election campaign, and won't be seeking his party's nomination. Now, most political pundits consider Vice-President Kamala Harris as the favorite to be the Democrat candidate.

Last week, she chose ultra-totalitarian Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her running mate.

Today, we hear from one of their supporters, 8-year-old Ralph Wiggum:

Help, I glued my shoulder to my head!

I support Kamala Harris because she's Black and a woman, and I do not want to be a racist and sexist-racist! D.E.I. gives Blacks, girls, and gays a chance to make it in this capitalistic, racist-homophobic, unfair country!

It confuses me why her campaign hates it when The Republican Meanies points out the fact that she was a D.E.I. hire when I used to hear nothing but how great D.E.I. is.

We need a President who laughs like a nine-year-old. There's not enough laughter in the world! I support her because she reminds me of hyenas. I also enjoy her word salads and also how she explained the war with Russia and Ukraine when she came to my school. It felt like she was talking directly to me!

Kamala was Joe Biden's Border Czar, although for some reason, EVERYBODY wants to deny it. Did somebody drop a nuclear bomb on the border or something?

Purple crayons taste like grape!

As for Timmy Walz, I like him because he is like my Daddy! He kept everyone safe during Covid Also, he banned hunger!

His 'Feeding Our Future' stopped the terrible famine in Minnesota! The Republican meanies were starving kids and burning books like the Nazis did in the 1970's!. 

It's unpossible for me to blame Governor Burgermeister Walz because troublemakers burned Minneapolis to the ground. It's THE POLICE'S FAULT, AND IT'S THE ORANGE MAN'S FAULT!!!!

He changed the Minnesota State flag. Maybe he and Kamala can change The American flag! That would be exciting! Maybe it's time to change the flag to something more modernenenen.

Kamala and Timmy want to share America with the third world. These poor preple deserve to stay at luxury hotels and get the best medical care in the world!

Well, that's all for now. My brain is getting tired, so I'll just end it here. I am Ralph Wiggum. Good night.

Darn! I just accidently ate some Super Glmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!