Your bushy-tailed correspondent posted previously that there would be no official fireworks display in Minneapolis. Actually, there WAS fireworks in Minneapolis. Somali yutes were firing Roman Candles, and directing dangerous fireworks at Minneapolis police officers at Boom Island. Here to address this is our Law and Order Correspondent:
Relax, gentlement. It's ME, Buford T. Justice, and I'm kicking your scrawney, Somali asses. Consider it an attention-getter..........
I understand that you punks were shooting roman candles and some dangerous fireworks at some of my fellow law enforcement officers. If I was patrolling Minneapolis's Boom Island on Independence Day,, I'd be celebrating America's birthday by barbequeing your asses in Molasses!
I'd be lowering THE BOOM on you maniacs! (BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP) My heart monitor just went off!
You insulted the city, you insulted the poe-lice, and you insulted the law-abiding citizens of The City of Lakes! That's just straight up communism! I would like to punch yo right in the mouth!
Actually, these punks should be sent to The Work Farm. They need to 'work off' all that excess energy breaking rocks in the hot sun. I'd like to send you back to Somalia or whatever shithole you punks are from!
I keep hearing that you Somali gangs have been beating the local college students. We can't have that.......Oh, you can think about it. Jus' don't you do it!
If only that idiot mayor Jacob Frey would stop all the dancing around and get his shit together. The city should re-open that 3rd precinct building, and stop coddling the damn criminals. Is it true that alf of the Minneapolis City council are transvestites???
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