Tuesday, December 27, 2022

An RSR Exclusive: Santa Is In A Foul Mood

Santa Claus

Your bushy-tailed correspondent stepped into Mrs. Claus's kitchen as she baked a batch of Gingerbread cookies. She sighed, and warned me about her 'Big guy'.

She told me that whatever I do, don't bring up Biden or The F.B.I., for those bastards in D.C. have been incredibly naughty. Santa has been in a very foul mood since Biden stole that election, and it's gotten even worse in the last year. He hasn't been eating and he doesn't get nearly enough sleep.

Mrs. Claus told me that he just spends his time in his office, yelling at the toyshop foreman like Clark W. Grisworld's boss Frank Shirley in that Christmas Vacation movie.....

'RE-TOOL????!!!!! I'LL RE-TOOL YOU!!!!!!!'

 Santa has a large dartboard of Joe Biden in hus office. He spends hours thowing darts.........

And so, I slowly entered Santa's spacious North Pole office. Mrs. Klaus wasn't kidding. I was shocked to see how much weight he had lost. I cleared my throat, and asked him if this was a bad time for an interview. He ho, ho, hoed, but it sounded forced.

After I asked him how he REALLY felt about this Christmas, he poured his anger out:

THAT CORRUPT, SENILE JERK-OFF BIDEN IS GETTING A REINDEER TURD IN HIS STOCKING!!!!! He is making America a third-world banana republic!

It breaks my heart to know about all those everyday American patriots rotting in his gulags because they proitested the stolen election. 'Insurrectionists' MY ASS!!!!

As for that corrupt, insider-trading hosebag Nancy Pelosi and her homo husband, I'm sending them a sealed indictment!

I know who's been naughty, and I know who's been nice. Bitches......

I'M SENDING CAROL-SINGING GREMLINS TO ALL THOSE MONEY-LAUNDERING CRAPSTAINS IN CONGRESS!!! ALL THOSE JERKS WHO VOTED FOR THE $1.7 BILLION OMNIBUS BILL  HAD BETTER WATCH OUT!!! IF I COULD, I WOULD SEND DEMONS TO THEIR FRONT DOORS!!!!

On the other hand, a lot of good Americans will be getting guns under their Christmas tree. Thank God for The Second Amdndment. Merry Christmas to you........

That is all.


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