Yakov Smirnoff Reports From The January 6th Kommission

This week, the Democrat-ran, Soviet-styled hearings into the riot on January 6th began with teary-eyed capitol cops testifying before the House Select Kommittee. Taking a break from his nightly stage show in Branson, Missouri is our correspondent, Yakov Smirnoff:

Wow, those pro-Trump Kossak insurrectionists have REALLY given those capitol police a severe case of Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder! Oh, and look! That kooky House Republican from Ohio Adam Kinzinger IS CRYING!!! DEAR GOD, THESE INSURRECTIONISTS MUST HAVE HAD AK-47'S AND MACHETES WHEN THEY STORMED THE PALACE!!!!

Nancy Pelosi and her fellow Democrat Bolsheviks are lucky to have survived the bloodbath of January 6th! What an insurrection! Heh, heh, heh......

No wonder the Democrat Bolsheviks are throwing supporters of 'Orange Man Bad' in prison! These enemies of the state are being kept in solitary confinement and TORTURED, then sent to the salt mines in Utah!

I understand that if you support 'Orange Man Bad' Biden's Secret Police and state-run media WILL come looking for you. I've heard about this Twitter Jail where they make you dissappear! What a tyrant!!

According to my sources, these domestic terrorists that made the police cry were waved into the ccapitol building and they TOOK SELFIES!!!! Oh, the HUMANITY!!!! There are 14,000 hours of security tape, but for some reason Nutty Nancy won't release them. The footage must be horrific!

Bug-eyed Representative Adam Schiff (who looks like he has seen a ghost) had Trump impeached TWICE without any evidence! Somehow, he doesn't appear to be all that trustworthy. I understand he wants to impeach 'Orange Man Bad' for a third time.......

Speaker Pelosi bounced 2 pro-Trump Republicans from this sham kommittee. Of course she did! She wanted a Soviet-styled show trial, and they would have spoiled her propaganda narrative.

Oh, will you look at that?! Republican Representative Adam Kinzinger is STILL CRYING. Will somebody give him a Kleenix?!

They say that the insurrection of January 6th makes The Civil War look like a picnic in the park.  Are the Democrat Bolsheviks planning mass executions for these pro-Trump RIOTERS? What an insurrection!!!!

This is Yakov Smrnoff reporting from highly confusing JSoviet-styled January 6th Kommition. So long!