We have only 41 days to go before Election Day. Here to explain the political lay of the land is our Military Correspondent, Sgt. Hartman:
(Hitting a trashcan with a big stick) Wake up, Republicans! We're being invaded by America-hating maggots! These commie bastards want to cheat and burn their way back in the Oval Office!
They know that Democrat nominee Slow-Joe Biden can barely form a complete sentence, so these young Socialist weirdos like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez think they'll be running the country after the election.
Their foot soldiers are burning, looting, and intimidating Democrat-ran cities, lead by a bunch of ugly, booger-eating scumbags Anti-Fa. When they're arrested, the local police take their mug shots, and these Blackshirt bastards are so ugly THEY COULD BE MODERN-ART MASTERPIECES!
And then, there's these violent Marxist assholes Black Lives Matter. They burn down businesses and hurt people. Now, I don't care if you're a nigger, a honky, a spic, a greaser, or a kike. If you're hurting people, I HATE YOU'RE DAMNED, STINKING GUTS! YOU'RE ALL EQUALLY WORTHLESS TO ME!!!
The Democrats want The United States Post Office to be used in the counting of ballots. Millions of ballots will go in the circular file because millions of Americans will make mistakes. This might make it an even bigger victory for our fantastic President, Donald J. Trump! The Democrats will be counting votes for weeks, and what they want is chaos and doubt.
Still, I want you to get out there and VOTE IN PERSON!!! If you can riot or go to the grocery store in person, then you can vote in person!
The Godless, commie revolutionaries are warning The American People that if Biden doesn't win, America will be set on fire. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. These assholes will find out that there are law-abiding Normal-Americans with guns behind every blade of grass!
I've seen these creeps in person. Most of these booger-eating little pukes are no taller that 5 foot 6. I DIDN'T KNOW THEY PILED SHIT THAT HIGH!
Between the low-IQ gaffe machine Slow-Joe Biden, and the obnoxious, evil foot soldiers deliberately angering America, it seems as if The Democrats ARE TRYING TO LOSE THE ELECTION!
It looks like The Democrats want WAR. If these creepy little heathens want a war, I'd love TO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO stomp on their WORTHLESS guts! THEY BETTER SQUARE THEIR ASSES AWAY OR WE WILL FUCK THEM UP!!!
These little White college girls are on the front lines for Black Lives Matter. These MALFUNCTIONING little weirdos learned to hate America because daddy sent them to a scumbag college professor and their brains were robbed of patriotism! America needs to 'unscrew' their little minds and teach them about AMERICA'S GREATNESS!
Well, that's all for now. Carry on.
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