Kamala Harris's Resume

A couple weeks ago, Democrat presidential candidate Joe Biden scoured the absolute bottom of the barrel, and found his vice-presidential pick, former California Attorney General and Senator, Kamala Harris. I think a good way to explain what kind of person Ms. Harris is, is to imagine her resume:

Kamala Harris's Resume:

I began my political career by having an affair with the married former Mayor of San Francisco and Speaker of The California State Assembly, Willy Brown.  I learned a lot under him.

As California's Attorney General, I ordered a raid on the home of a citizen journalist for exposing Planned Parenthood, who sold baby parts. The abortionists gave so generously to my various campaigns I wanted to show my loyalty to the pro-choice cause.

I feel I deserve to be the Vice President because I'm a Black woman. I'm also Indian, and the fact that my Jamaican ancestors became incredibly rich off the the slave trade proves that business smarts is in my blood.

I am a very capable prosecutor. I successfully prosecuted over 2,000 criminals for marijuana possession. If you ask me if I've smoked or possessed pot, I'll just laugh coyly.

As Senator, I lead the televised lynching of Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, falsely accusing him of rape. I made his wife cry.

During the presidential debates, I bravely said that I believed candidate Joe Biden's accusers when they said he sexually assaulted them. I've since re-considered my brave stance, and believe that my personal ambition trumps everything else.

In short, I began my career screwing a rich, powerful politician, and now I seek a position under another man. I hope that young girls will see me as a great example! Thank you!