We Polled 5,000 Public School Students, And Asked Them To Rank The Presidents

It was President's Day on Monday, and we decided to ask 5,000 High School students currently enrolled in government schools across the country to rank the presidents. Most of theese scholars were busy  outside protesting federal I.C.E. agents, but eventually they returned to class and took this poll.

Here's the results:

1. The greatest President EVER is Barack Hussein Obama because he was our First Black President and because our green-haired teacher(s) told us he was.

2. Alexander Hamilton (never a president) was ranked #2. Actually the original star in the Broadway musical Lin Manuel Miranda was ranked the second-greatest president.

3. George Washington was ranked at number 3. Father of the Country. First in war, first in peace, and LAST PLACE IN THE EASTERN CONFERENCE. He could not be allowed to be #1 because of White privilege.

4. Alexandria Bernie Sanders Ocasio-Cortez. (Never a president) Our green-haired teacher's favorite president. From what we heard, this non-president was A BIG supporter of Socialism and Drag Queen Story Hour.

5. Bill Clinton. Nearly ALL of the students polled could only name 5 or 6 presidents.

6. Frankin Delano Roosevelt. He saved the country from The Great Depression and THE DONALD TRUMP NAZIS.

7, Abraham Lincoln. The Civil War Guy with the Big Hat. He freed the slaves, and that was a big deal.

8. Ronald Reagan. He polled well with Republican students who were immediately expelled when their green-haired teachers found out some of the students had the nerve of ranking A REPUBLICAN in the top 10.

9.. Jimmy Carter. Nobody knows ANYTHING about him, but he has a nice smile.

10.. Joe Biden. He saved our climate from climate change.

11, Richard Nixon. He said he  ''wasn't a crook.''

12-45. We know NOTHING about these guys. Many of the students polled thought that Oprah Winfrey was once a president.

46-47. The WORST President in the poll was current President Donald Trump because he's a NAZI and throws undocumented immigrants out of the country. Nearly ALL of the government school students polled were protesting HIS I.C.E. GESTAPO. HE'S AN ORANGED-HAIRED MEANY AND THEY HATE HIM ON THE VIEW, CNN, AND MSNBC!!!!!

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, OUR GREEN-HAIRED TEACHERS HATE HIM!!!!!