Our Hollywood Insider: New Live Action Snow White Actress Is A Woke Pain In The Ass!

Hello, this is your Hollywood Insider, reporting from the land of fruits and nuts.....

So, the star of the new Snow White will be a Hispanic Pain in The Ass, Ariel the Mermaid will be Black, The Ghostbuster guys have been replaced by Ghostbuster gals, and the next movie featuring the superhero THOR will star NATALIE PORTMAN????? HOORAY FOR HOLLYWOOD!!!!

I caught up with newcomer Rachel Zegler, the new star of the live action Snow White, and she REALLY TOLD US WHAT'S ON HER MIND! 

ROLL TAPE!.......

Rachel Zegler:

'So, I told the director what I wanted to do with Snow White. For one thing, this is 2023.....not 1937. My character should not be some 'sleeping beauty' waiting for her charming prince to come and wake her up. She should be her own woman, maybe even a great miltary leader, like Joan of Arc.

I think it would be cool if Snow White doubted her sexuality. She should be non-binary, maybe seek out a gender-affirming sex change operation or even find a lesbian partner. Maybe make the 'charming prince' Snow White's STALKER!

Also, if she DID happen to 'hook up' with the charming prince, maybe if she got pregnant she should empower herself with an abortion.That would be a great message for the 9 -year-old girls who come see the movie!

Also, since I look like a Mexican, perhaps Disney can also work in an angle where I am just a poor migrant trying to better my life in a new country! She can teach all the White characters that racism isn't cool!

I wanted soccer superstar Megan Rapinoe to make a cameo, but the suits and ties at Disney said they couldn't do it. Racists!

Oh well, I'm still excited about starring in this new version of Snow White!' My re-make will be way better than the original!'

So, there she is, Rachel Zegler, the star of the new Snow White LIVE ACTION MOVIE, and this is The Hollywood Insider. See you at the movies! So long!