Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Nicolae Carpathia Delivers The 2021 State Of The Union




People are wondering why the current resident of the White House hasn't yet delivered a State of the Union Speech or even a press conference. Many people think that he shouldn't because he's not 'all there', and he probably isn't running the country anyways. 

Some people think Susan Rice and a gang of Democrat ultra-leftists are running the country behind the scenes, and others think that the Chinese communists are pulling the strings. Then, there's many people who see the current administration as Barack Obama's third term.

It sure feels like Obama's third term: America is weak, our enemies are flexing their muscles, and we're energy-dependent to countries that hate us. To those who hate America, it feels like the good 'ole days.

Here to deliver The State of The Union Address, is Nicolae Carpathia:

Dear Madame Speaker , Senate Majority Leader Schumer, Soon-to-be Madame President Harris

We are rid of Donald Trump, and The F.B.I. are arresting Trump supports left and right, so we have regained control! (Democrats applaud here).

Our subjects in Blue states are masked, and are recieving Covid (scare quotes)'vaccines'. Soon, millions will recieve ANAL SWABS just like our friends in Communist China! (Democrats cheer).

Soon, Americans who recieve a Covid shot will be issued 'Covid Passports', and will be allowed to travel inside the United States. Refuseniks risk arrest. (Democrats cheer wildly).

Our friends Twitter and Facebook are censoring conservative HATE SPEECH! (Democrats cheer wildly). Just a few days ago, Twitter censored that hater Newt Gingrich who tweeted that it's a bad idea to allow illegal aliens who haven't been tested for Covid into the country. (Democrats BOO! loudly).

My Democat underlings have passed the $1.9 trillion Covid Relief Bill. Soon, our people will be throwing billions of dollars out of helicopters in deep blue cities!  If you're a governor of a blue state or mayor of a deep-blue city, your bailout is on the way! (The Democrats cheer).

Our President Joe Biden is signing executive orders weakening America, and that's a good ting. A strong, free America is bad, but a weak America is what the world needs to institute 'The Great Reset.'(Democrats applaud).

The southern border is being overrun by drug dealers, child traffickers, and violent gangs. The good news is that they will be  voting for Democrats!!!!!(The Democrats cheer). 

Soon, we will be passing 'reasonable gun control laws'! (The Democrats applaud loudly). The President is toying with the idea of sending 'law enforcement officers' to houses suspected of possessing guns. (Democrats cheer).

Soon, The District of Columbia will become the 51st State, and we will have 2 MORE DEMOCRATS IN THE SENATE! (The Democrats cheer wildly).  Puerto Rico will become the 52nd State, and will be sending 2 SENATORS TO WASHINGTON DC STATE! (The Democrats cheer).

We also are passing legislation making it virtually impossible for Democrats TO LOSE A NATIONAL ELECTION EVER AGAIN!!! (The Democrats cheer loudly).

VERY SOON, WE WILL HAVE A GREAT, WORLDWIDE RESET, AND I, NICOLAE CARPATHIA, SHALL BECOME THE RULER OF PLANET EARTH!!!! THEN, I SHALL SPIT IN THE FACE OF GOD HIMSELF, AND SET MYSELF ON A THRONE OF GOLD!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!

GOOD NIGHT, AMERICA!!!! (The Democrats look at each other, slightly puzzled, then cheer wildly).

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