I have received word that a terrible disease is sweeping the entire world, and that it will surely kill more than 2 million Americans by June. I have directed my people to create a DIAL that will guide us through this pandemic, and hopefully the human race will not become extinct by September.
I am consulting with the experts, and they say that about 60,000 Minnesotans will die by August 1. Knowing this terrible fact, I am ordering a shut-down of the state.
The residents of Minnesota will be encouraged to stay locked inside their homes, although you will be allowed to go outside and exercise in the prison exercise yard....I mean, within 100 yards from your front door.
You will also be allowed to shop for food. Your welcome.
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