Hello, all you dog-faced so-and-so's,I am here in Iowa, or Indiana, or Michigan, or somewhere else, running my campaign for Senate. I can't remember where I'll be tomorrow. I used to be a real good boxer, but had to go into politics after suffering a concussion against Corn Pops.
You know, we hold these truths to be self evident, That all men and well-endowed women are created by the thing. You know the thing...........Oh wow, I almost said 'God.' If the Democrat party leaders catch you showing reverence to the almighty, they throw you out!
I am happy that Amy whatshername, Michael Bloomberg, the other gay guy, and that other damned liar dropped out of the race, or my old boss Barack Obama would have had to send 2 guys to break their legs. It was time for the moderates to get behind 'Ole Joe.
It's down to 3 candidates. Myself, Bernie Sanders, and Tulsi Giblets. You may wonder what it will take to win this nomination. It will take a 4-letter word: VOTES!
Remember Black voters, if you don't vote for me....you ain't......BLACK!
I'm really tired. I'm going home, and take a good, long nap. See ya in November....
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