Joe The Cartoonist's Superbowl Report

Eight days ago, The Kansas City Chiefs scored 21 unanswered points in the 4th quarter, and defeated The San Francisco 49er's 31-20 in Superbowl LIV,

Here to file his Superbowl report is Joe the Cartoonist:

Hello Sportsball fans,

First of all, I really dislike The NFL. As a bitter Vikings supporter (I don't even call myself a 'fan'), I hate all teams other than The Vikings. After my team is eliminated, I just don't care who wins. 

In fact, I usually hope that both teams lose the Superbowl and that all the players break their legs.

I try to do anything (ANYTHING!!!) each week other than watch The Vikings. I Go to the library, work, anything other than watch this team that has disappointed me for over 45 years. After I've come home, I watch the news to see if The Vikes have lost or played badly. I am usually happy and pleased that I didn't waste my time watching the game.

I am annoyed with all the ridiculous dancing after every play. The end-zone Deney Terrio Dance Party after each touchdown is obnoxious.

Act like you've been there before, you big, dumb jocks.

As for the Superbowl, I had to work, but there were TVs in the employee break room. I saw a rapper doing some sort of pregame rap, and I would've given him a 20 dollar bill if he would stop.

I walked into the employee break room during the opening coin toss, and thought 'This game isn't over yet?'

I saw about 20 seconds of the Halftime extravaganza. Apparently The NFL doesn't know that kids watch football too.

I missed almost all of the game. The Vikes weren't playing, so I didn't care who won. I disliked The 49er's more because they eliminated my team, and I think that Richard Sherman is loudmouth jackass. Chief QB Patrick Mahomes seems likeble, so I guess I would rather see KC win 'the big game'.

I missed the 4th quarter comeback, but I saw the highlights later on the news. It must have been a really good Superbowl even if you didn't care who won.