The Obama Presidency Has Been One Bullshit Moment After Another

Ashley Wagner, we know just how you feel....

American figure skater Ashley Wagner has given us the meme of The 2014 Sochi Olympics. Following a strong performance, the judges gave her some less-than-impressive marks, and she let it be known that she was less-than-pleased.

Her facial expression was dubbed the bullshit moment.

I imagine a lot of Americans made that face when they received their health plan cancellation letter after President Obama promised us that if you liked your doctor you can keep your doctor,

or when President Obama lied about Benghazi.

Then there was Operation Fast And Furious,

Oh, and many of us had ANOTHER bullshit moment when we found out that he used The IRS to harass Tea Party activists, and Lois Lerner lied before Congress.

Obama and his team of criminals and totalitarians lie about everything. They are contemptible of everyone, abusive with their power, and offend normal Americans with their alinskyite tactics. 

Some of us had a bullshit moment on Election Night 2012. We know that Obama's sleazy lawyers had disenfranchised our military voters serving overseas. The gang from Chicago went national, as they registered dead people, dogs, illegal aliens, convicts, and flipped voted with rigged voting machines.

So, we know how Ashley Wagner feels. The Obama presidency has been one bullshit moment after another.

Team Finland Humiliates Team USA In Bronze Metal Game: Obama Blames Dubya

At the Sochi Olympics, Team Finland humiliated a lackluster Team USA in the bronze medal game, blanking the Americans 5-0.

President Obama immediately blamed former President George W. Bush for the defeat.

Sen. Schumer: Let's Just Jail Our Opponents While We're At It

See folks, this is what happens when you allow a gang of criminals to steal an election. Remember what Obama advisor Valerie Jarrett said before Election Day 2012?

After we win this election, it's OUR turn. It's payback time. The ones who helped us will be rewarded, the ones who opposed us will get what THEY deserve.

Recently, power mad New York Senator Charles Schumer (pictured) suggested that The IRS and other government agencies should be used to target The Tea Party. Conservative filmmaker and Obama critic Dinesh D'Souza was indicted for breaking campaign finance laws. We at The RedSquirrel Report believe this indictment is politically motivated. Team Obama also harassed and threatened Fox News Reporter James Rosen. 

Meanwhile, King Obama and his unhinged, out-of-control gang are threatening American businesses with criminal prosecution if they lay their employees off because of Obamacare.

We thought that we would invite the Senator to explain his position, so he sent us this:

Thank you, RedSquirrel Report.

Conservative activists are a real impediment to our progressive dream. It takes so much money and effort to fight them that we believe it would be best if we could just jail our political opponents instead.

We libs hate debate. We would rather just make our opponents disappear.

We believe that Democrats are born to rule, and Republicans are born to pay taxes, but these Tea Party activists are trying to upset this natural order. They are heretics.

As for the establishment Republicans, we know they have no backbone. In fact, most of the establishment Republicans wouldn't mind it if we just began jailing our opponents.

In many ways, we Democrats have succeeded beyond our wildest dreams, having dumbed down the government schools. Nobody knows what their rights are anyway. We own the government, Hollywood, television, and the schools, yet there are STILL these pesky constitutionalists who will not go along.
 
If we start jailing these tea-baggers, I'm confident the rest will fall in line. Thank you.

Robin Leach's Lifestyles Of The Spoiled And Tone-Deaf Inside The Obama White House

We welcome our new correspondent Robin Leach to The RedSquirrel Report, as we debut his column 'Lifestyles Of The Spoiled And Tone-Deaf Inside The Obama White House':

Thank you, RedSquirrel,

It's champagne hope and caviar change at The Obama White House.

As the American people suffer under King Barack's soul-crushing economic policies, First Lady Michelle Antoinette Obama tweets this picture of her jewelry-wearing mutts. It appears that one of The White dining rooms has indeed gone to the dogs, and they have brought out the fine china.

If one was to caption this photo, it would read:

"Let them eat kibble."

The tone-deaf first couple will complain about 'income equality' as they take the most expensive, taxpayer-funded vacays on the planet. This week, jet-setter Queen Moochelle is skiing in Aspen and King Barry is playing golf in Cali, although he tells people that he is in California to give his support to The Golden State as they deal with severe drought conditions.

These elitist snobs appear to be downright BORED with the misery they are unleashing on this country. While the American people receive health plan cancellation letters, The Obamas (and their dogs) live like royalty.

I wonder which wine goes with milk bone dog biscuits....

Fun Valentine's Day Facts With Debbie Downer

Wow, I didn't even know that Debbie Downer wrote for The New Republic. Yesterday we learned that the Valentine card you present to your honey is responsible for producing 18.5 grams of planet-choking CO2.

Here to present even more joy-stealing Valentine's Day facts is the writer of that TNR piece. Take it away, Debbie:

Thanks, RedSquirrel.

It's true. The Valentine's card you buy for your girlfriend or wife is responsible for 18.5 grams of CO2. (wha-wha)

Also, if you go to enjoy a romantic dinner, that chicken you're eating was probably tortured, and kept cooped up in a tiny cage in order to keep it from getting any exercise. (wha-wha)

If you bought your honey a box of chocolates, just remember that somebody raped Mother Earth extracting the chocolate, coconuts, and cherries. (wha-wha)

Valentine's Day is the one day of the year when most cases of venereal diseases are contracted. Also, feline AIDS is STILL the #1 KILLER OF CATS....(mmmmeeeeoowwww mmmmeeeeooowwww)

....and it's official. I can't have kids. (wha-wha)

Thank you, Debbie. Now please go away.

Jay Leno Says Goodbye

Last week, Jay Leno said goodbye to The Tonight Show. Here are his closing remarks from his final show, fed through our TruthTeller 3000:

Well, this is it, folks.

Twenty-two years ago I began my reign as host of The Tonight Show, and ever since, we have consistently clobbered David Letterman like a rented mule in the TV ratings. But the bigwigs at NBC are soulless leftists, and because I have dared to make fun of Dear Leader, I must go.

They're making an example of me, America. After The Olympics, Jimmy Fallon will be the host. It's probably BECAUSE his house band played 'Lyin' Ass Bitch' when MN Representative Michele Bachmann appeared on his Late Night Show.

One of his first guests will be First Moocher Michelle Obama. I'll bet that his house band WILL NOT be playing 'Lying Ass Bitch' when she appears from behind that curtain. I wonder if he'll even mention her ridiculous 'healthy eating' initiatives, her zillion-dollar vacays, her $12,000 dresses while harping about 'income inequality', or her criminally-negligent, despotic hubby.

Yes, America, I made fun of Dear Leader, and so I prepare for the inevitable IRS audit. Before Attorney General Eric Holder sends some of agents to arrest me and send me to one of their FEMA camps, I just want to thank you, our audience.

Goodbye.

The RedSquirrel Report Wishes A Happy Retirement To Rep. Henry Waxman

Last week, 20-term Representative Henry Waxman (D-CA) announced his retirement from Congress.

We here at The RedSquirrel Report wish him and his huge nostrils a happy retirement.