Loon Of The Week

It's time once again for our weekly excursion into looloolooliberallefty looniness, with our resident lefty, Longfellow Loon, as he bestows his Loon Of The Week Award. This award should have been awarded last week, but Longfellow was sobbing uncontrollably for a week, following Keith Ellison's testimony before New York Congressman Pete King's hearing on Islamic radicalization inside America. So, here he is. Give it up for Longfellow Loon. The floor is yours.
"LOOOLOOOLOOOOLOOOLOOOLOOOLOOO!!!!!! (sob.sniff.sniff) Thank you, Squirley. My Loon Of The Week Award goes out to Minnesota fifth district congressman Keith (sniff) Ellison, for his stirring testimony before that bigoted meanie Peter King. (sniff sniff). During his March 10th testimony, Representative Ellison broke down and cried, detailing the brave exploits of Muslim paramedic Mohammad Salman Hamdani, who died, trying to save the lives of rich, capitalist infidels! (sob). Mr. Ellison's testimony still makes me (as well as all the DFL dhimmi who vote for him) proud as a pink peacock. Sure, the Moslem world broke out in celebration after the World Trade Center crumbled to the ground, and over 3.000 American perished in the attack, but that is yesterday's news. The real issue is that America needs to know that 9-11 is ON US! Thank you.
LOOOLOOOLOOOLOOOLOOO!!!!!(blows his nose).
Thank you, Longfellow Loon. Here, have a kleenex.

Congrats To The French Air Force

A hearty congratulations goes out to the French Air Force from us here at The RedSquirrel Report. It appears that the entire French Air Force were in the process of throwing up their arms in surrender, when one of them accidentally launched a missile, destroying a Libyan fighter jet.

Hilliary!!!???

President Barack Hussein Obama was locked out of the White House last week. With the network news cameras rolling, the hapless president was seen trying to open the front door, yelling "Hilliary, this isn't funny!" The president cut his South American trip short, saying "Why admire the Mayan ruins when I can admire the American economy in ruins. Damn, this Cloward and Piven strategy is working perfectly!"

Welcome To Obamaville

They called him 'The One"
A new age has begun
This young messiah will lower the seas
But he's a lyin' child dictator
The reporters and commentators
The mainstream news media report on their knees

We all flat broke in Obamaville
The country's deep in default
Barry still says that Dubya's to blame
He still whines that it's still Dubya's fault

Now we are all livin'
With Cloward and Piven
We are bullied by the S.E.I.U.
While he bows to dictators
Then he calls us all 'haters'
Running a country, he hasn't a clue

We don't know where he was born
He sure loves his ACORN
This disciple of Saul Allinsky
He's on a spending bender
We'll just devalue our tender
with foreclosure signs as far as the eye can see

Damn You, Mitch Berg! Damn You!

Eugene Snotley, music critic


Damn You, Mitch Berg and Ed Morrissey! Damn you! Because of you, poor Warren Zevon must be spinning in his grave!

On your NARN radio program on The Patriot 1280 AM, you took an American classic, "Lawyers, Guns, And Money", and desecrated this wonderful classic song. Your re-make, "Lawyers, Cheese, And Bratwurst" made my eyebrows fall out, and made me go prematurely grey!  You, Mr. Berg, along with that overstuffed oaf, Ed Morrissey, sounded like what happens in a karaoke bar when everyone is too loaded to even care. 

Your parody is proof that we need the Fairness Doctrine! You have killed one of my favorite songs (I haven't given a positive review since Elvis Costello's classic 'My Aim Is True'), and worst of all, referred to those brave Wisconsin Democrat legislators as "flee-baggers"!  And what's worse, you've promised to murder another song NEXT week if they don't go back to work. What kind of sadistic monsters are you?!

If Mitch Berg and Ed Morrissey aren't stopped, they may kill music forever!

Nero's Got His Basketball Jones

JAPAN ROCKED BY MAGNATUDE 8.9 EARTHQUAKE
TSUNAMI KILLS THOUSANDS
RADIATION LEVELS SOAR AFTER NUCLEAR PLANT FIRE
NEW EXPOLSION ROCKS FUKUSHIMA NUCLEAR PLANT
JAPAN FACES HUMANITARIAN CRISIS

obama videotaping his ncaa tournament picks today....                        

Oh, This Just In.

Betsy Liley, NPR's Senior Director Of Institutional Giving, is on James O' Keefe's upcoming undercover video, telling the undercover 'Muslim donors' how she can keep their $5,000,000.00 donation to PBS anonymous. Meanwhile, the mainstream news media acts like South Park's Officer Barbrady, saying, "Nothing to see here. Move along."