Nicolae Carpathia: Things Are Running Smoothly

Hello America. Hello world. It's your master, Nicolae Carpathia,

This Tuesday, face coverings will be mandatory on all public transportation in America. Failure to comply may be met with 'police enforcement.' We're toying with the idea of sending refuseniks to a place where they will learn to comply with the state.

I'm putting Bill Gates in charge of my population control program AND mandatory worldwide Covid vaccination. These are very exciting times!

I'm looking for someone to administer my plan to anally swab everybody by 2/28. Remember, compliance is key!

On a serious note, crime in Democrat-ran cities are out of control, so we will need to crack down on business owners who try to illegally re-open their restaurants, bars, and event centers. If you're planning a wedding I suggest that you wait 3 or 4 years while we work on this Covid problem.

My underlings Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg are hard at work eliminating wrongspeak and hatespeech. Hopefully, Orange Man Bad will be relagated into our collective memory hole, along with Christianity itself.

My President in America, Joe Biden is doing a terrific job! He's killing bad, dirty jobs in the fossil fuel industry. Those who do lose their job can always find a different job. For example, I will need 200,000 neighborhood snitches to keep these ornery Americans in line, and we will need 40,000 government employees to check houses for guns.

It's a dangerous job, but the pay is great!

Well, that's it for now. All hail The New World Order and The Great Reset!......

N.C. The AntiChrist

Red Forman: Are Democrats Really This Nuts?

 

Here with a commentary is our Normal-Everydad, Red Forman:

Are the Democrats really this nuts? Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez wants to send Trump supporters, AT LEAST 75,000,000 Americans, to re-education camps. On top of that, she accuses Senator Ted Cruz of trying to MURDER her.  I hope she gets the psychiatric help she needs.

Nutty Nancy withheld support for the second covid relief checks because she hated President Trump and was afraid that sending the checks would 'make him look good.' Like a lot of Americans, I think that she might have an unclean spirit living inside her head. Her voters need a foot up their ass.......

The Trump Haters hate everything and everybody who doesn't hate Trump. The president mentioned that he approved of the use of Hydroxichloroquin to fight Covid and the Trump haters spread some truly NUTTY, scary  disinformation 'debunking' his claim. How many people died becuase The Democrats hated Trump? You idiots need your ass kicked.

This impeachment show is also NUTS! Establishment Dems started this push to remve President Trump BEFORE he was insugurated in 2017, and it continues even AFTER he's out the door. They accuse him of 'incitement to violence' or something. He told his supporters to 'protest peacefully and patriotically let your voices be heard.' Sorry guys, this is just rediculous. Someone needs to kick your ass. 

Then, you have the Big-tech bigshots de-platforming and 'fact-checking' Normal-Americans if one thinks that maybe the election was stolen. These psychotic, vindictive bullies want to blackball everyone from employment if they voted for Donald Trump. Of course, these hateful weirdos should get a foot in their ass.

And now, we have a job-killing president, Slow-Joe Biden. He is trying to destroy everything that our terrific former Ppresident Trump ever did,  I understand that The ChiComs LOVE Biden!

They created Covid. They need their Commie asses kicked.

Well, that's all for now. I need a beer. Red Forman out.

Biden Wants To Put Harriet Tubman's Face On The $20 Bill

In President Asterisk's quest to erase The White Devil from our paper money, he's expressed interest in removing dead White former President Andrew Jackson's face from the $20......

.....and replacing his face with abolitonist and leader of The Underground Railroad, Harriet Tubman.

This is a wonderful idea, but there's a face i'd REALLY like to see on my $20 bills:

 Rawr..................................

Did President Asterisk Kill Home Run King Hank Aaron?

President Asterisk has been in office for just one week, and in that time, 31,000 Americans have died from Covid. In my opinion, he is responsible for those deaths. If President Trump was still in office, the always fair and impartial 'reporters' at CNN would be on his case, and his Press Secretary would be fielding snooty 'gotcha' questions.

On January 22, legendary home run king Hank Aaron died two weeks after recieving a Covid vaccine shot. He was a very healthy man, and took the vaccination shot to show young Black Americans that the shot was safe. I think the president should take responsibility for Aaron's death because it happened under his watch.

Biden told the American people that, unlike Trump, he has a Covid plan. His plan? Wear a mask.

Many on the left say President Trump is guilty of murder, so would it be fair to accuse Biden of killing MLB Hall of Famer Hank Aaron? 

Should President Asterisk be impeached? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........

20 Undenialable Truths About Democrats

1. The only thing that matters to Democrats is their unquenchable lust for power. The ends justifies the means.

2. If you want to know what Democrats are guilty of this week, just look at what they're accusing Republicans of doing.

3. If a Democrat says he or she is 'praying', just know that he or she is praying to Satan or Moloch.

4. If you are a Republican and you stand up for yourself, Democrats will attack you, violate your rights, and try to shut you up until you are eventually destroyed.

5. Democrats do nothing for anyone. Their idea of making America better is to punish or crush Normal, everyday Americans who work for their money, then reward their worthless supporters.

6. If there's no crisis that a Democrat can exploit for personal power, the Democrat(s) will create one.

7. Democrats hate the military unless it's Inauguration Day and they need to use them as political props.

8. Democrats hate the Second Amendment and the wall at the southern border, but will have armed soldiers protecting Them AND they will build walls to protect THEM from you.

9. Democrats oppose coal mining but believe in data mining.

10. Democrats are power-hungry thieves. Ci Vang, a St. Paul Democrat City Councilman told this truth about Democrats: 'When you Republicans win elections, we Democrats let you keep your money. When we win elections, we take your money.'

11. Democrats see The Constitution as an obsticle to their lust for power.

12. Democrats believe in censoring speech they disagree with.

13. Democrats believe in stealing elections, then harassing those protesting against stolen elections.

14. To a Republican, voter fraud is a problem. To a Democrat, voter fraud is a strategy.

15. Democrats use government to punish their opponents. 

16. Democrats don't care if your neighborhood is burned to the ground. In fact, they'll pay the bail for the arsonist who burned your neighborhood to the ground.

17. Democrats need a dependent, permanent underclass to stay in power.

18. The more corrupt the Democrat, the richer he or she gets while 'serving in office.'

19. Democrats destroy almost everything they touch.

20. The Democrats run almost every institution in America, and they have run everything ito the ground, but it's never, ever enough.

On The Second Day Of Joe Biden's Presidency

On the second day of Joe Biden's presidency, he stopped President Trump's order to slash insulin prices 

On the second day of the leftist idiot's presidency, Joe issued a executive order that removes any legal recognition of the two sexes and eliminates crucial protections for women in the federal government

On the second day of Idiot Joe's presidency, his spokesperson told pipeline workers that 'You can find another job.'

On the second day of Slow Joe's presidency, the supposed Catholic president marked the aniversary of Rowe V. Wade and pledged that abortions will be made available for 'everyone,'

On the second day of the job-killer's presidency, the liar-in-chief said he will end fracking (During the campaign, he told us that he WON'T end fracking, just make it REALLY hard to do so)

Oh, and he's calling for 'unity.'

On The First Day Of Joe Biden's Presidency............

On the First Day of his presidency, Joe Biden called for 'Unity.'

On the First Day of his Presidency, Slow-Joe granted illegal Immigration Amnesty

(Still) On the First Day of his Presidency, Biden struck down The XL Keystone Energy Pipeline Project (plus thousands of jobs connected to this project)

(pant pant) On the First Day of his Presidency, Joe signed a federal face mask mandate

(Dear God! MAKE HIM STOP!) On the First Day of his presidency, this damned idiot punished the fossel fuel industry

On the First Day of his Presidency, Biden destroyed 70,000 jobs (HEY JOE!, SAVE SOMETHING FOR DAY TWO!!!!!)

On the First Day of his Presidency, Joe Biden treated National Guardsmen and women like crap

On the First day of his presidency, Joe waged war on law-abiding gun owners

Ralpie Wiggum Reports From The Biden Inauguration

Wow, the streets here are SO EMPTY, except it looks like the new president has invited a lot of soldiers to watch him make his speech.

Hello, America, This is Ralphie Wiggum, reporting from Washington DC.

As for the inauguration speech, I felt as if President Biden was tickling my ears, especialy when he kept on talking about UNITY! I like how the president spoke. He used a lot of short, four-word sentences, and a lot of sentence fragments!

My friend Chris Wallace said that President Biden's inauguration speech was the best he's ever heard. I wonder if Chris goes to a special school like me.

I'm glad Orange Man Bad didn't come to the inauguration. I hate him because CNN and MSNBC tells me to. He lost the election, so he should never be let back into Washington DC. iF HE TRIES, HE SHOULD BE ARRESTED!!!

Maybe daddy can arrest him......

On another note, the congressman from Tennessee who's always eating Kentucky Fried Chicken was suspicious of these National Guard soldiers because they're White. I'm scared of White people because my teacher says they're all racist meanies. I'm not White. My skin is yellow. A lot of people in Springfield are yellow-skinned.

Springfield is my hometown.

Well, that's my report.I think I just accidentally ate some glue. Back to you, RedSquirrel.........

The DC Twilight Zone

Imagine if you will...............

Columnist Byron York said the following:

Democrats started trying to remove President Donald Trump from office BEFORE he entered office. Now they're proposing to remove him from office AFTER HE LEAVES.

Establishment politicians with a very lucrative corruption apple cart pulling out all the stops to get rid of the only politician in DC who donated his salary to charity.....

......so that things can return to 'normal.'.......

Gas-lighting, so-called journalists spreading non-stop falsehoods, so-called eductors brainwashing young minds, training them to hate America and become violent Marxist thugs......

They libel and slander Orange Man Bad, his family, and his supporters non-stop for four years....

and now they call for 'unity.'

We've traded a President for whom results actually mattered for a pandering, corrupt clown.......... 

here......

......in The DC Twilight Zone.

Biden's Inauguration Photo Album

 

This Is Bullshit (The 2020 Election And Yet Another Impeachment)

The Democrats steal the presidential election, then impeach President Trump (for a second time on yet another completely false charge) of 'incitement to violence.'

He told his supporters to 'protest peacefully, patriotically, and let your voices be heard.'

Folks, Stop Blaming 2020

As 2020 ended, I saw TV commercials, Internet memes,  and news stories appear TO BLAME 2020 for our current situation:

'Goodbye and good riddence to 2020. Whoa, what a rough year! We here at (business name, TV news station, ect.) are SO glad to see the end of 2020.......

Let's ring in the NEW YEAR 2021!!!!!'

My question is, 'Why is everyone BLAMING 2020? The year itself didn't cause our current situation. The Chinese Communists unleashed Covid 19 on the world, so they should be blamed for that

Also, Democrat control freak Governors shut down their state economies, ruining businesses. Don't blame 2020 for being so rough on us. It's these idiot Governors.

I wish that George Carlin was alive. I think he would pick this bullshit apart.

By the way, who says that 2021 will be any better? The Anti-Christ might take over the world by February. You might be forced to take The Mark of the Beast by March, then you'll be saying 'Wow, I wish that I could go back to 2020!' 

The new year is only a couple weeks old, and big-tech giants are stomping on our free speech and  unsane, fever-swamp Democrat  are determined to put an end to our Republic.

I think 2021 will be far worse than 2020,  but I'm not going to BLAME THE YEAR. People are responsible for this crap.

 

Dumb Things My Co-Workers Say

Dear RedSquirrel,

At my workplace, my co-workers and I are all friends.....but one of these co-workers (Let's call him 'Mike') INSISTS on having CNN on in the breakroom. He also has a penchant for making rediculous statements relating to politics, such as:

Do you think that Donald Trump will try to pardon himself?

He must think that Nancy Pelosi has the power to have the president frog-marched out of the White House without anyone charging him of an actual crime. This week, a clearly disqusted Alan Derchowitz (who voted for Hillary Clinton) said that Pelosi is acting and sounding like Joseph Stalin........

Here's another gem:

Have you ever seen 'The Omen'? The child is The Anti-Christ, and his dad was.............a politician? I think Baron Trump is The Anti-Christ.

Riiiiiight!!!!Baron Trump is the Anti-Christ! He should be more like that angel Hunter Biden! 

Sheesh!!!!

HEADLINE: ONE NATION UNDER FRAUD