The current temperature is a Hellish 65 degrees in Minneapolis. Tonight, millions of people will die a terrible death due to global warming, as the temperature free falls to 58 degrees.
Our planet will continue it's downward death spiral to Hell due to global climate change, as the temperature will reach an infernal day temperature of (gasp!).....48 degrees!!!
All the bald eagles will die on Saturday as the day temp reaches a nightmarish 46 degrees. Eagles can't sweat, so their heads will overheat and explode due to these high temperatures.
Because of America's dependence on fossil fuels, day temperatures early next week will fluctuate wildly between 55 and 57 degrees. Please, if you have any elderly neighbors, check in on them.
Once again, Dear Leader will experience much difficulty lowering the sea levels. And that is your Barack Obama weather forecast. Back to you, Steve and Carol.....
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