HEADLINE: CORRUPT MN GOVERNOR INCITES ''GOOD TROUBLE'' TO HIS AGITATORS OUTSIDE MANSION

 

There' was a heckler..............

''HEY JACK-ASS, EAT A TAMPON!!!!!''

Marge Gunderson: There's More To Life Than Money And Power

One year from now...

A convoy of buses full of crooked DFL politicians make their way to a new, very large prison west of the Twin Cities. Large, white snowdrifts cover the highway plowed just hours ago.

The lead prison transport bus is being driven by Sheriff Marge Gunderson. There's a look of disappointment on her face. She glances at former Governor Tim Walz in her mirror. Her deputees had nabbed him trying to escape out the window of a Moose Lake motel room in just boxer shorts and wife-beater t-shirt. 

They discovered him shredding records that proved his guilt in various fraud crimes mostly involving Somali criminals. He ALSO committed perjury during his recent meltdown appearances before Congress.

President Trump had to enforce The Insurrection Act when top democrat politicians urged their supporters to illegally harrass and violently riot against ICE agents.

The other buses are filled with Somali criminals and DFL politicians involved with numerous fraud crimes. The sound of the bus overtook her, and she broke the silence:

''So, those must have been your documents in the paper shredder. You know, there's more to life than power and money. Don't you know that? You and your corrupt supporters rewarding each other with the taxpayer's money. That wasn't nice defrauding us working stiffs. 

I just don't understand it.''

Everyone looked out the windows as the buses passed the statues of Paul Bunyun and Babe the Blue Ox.

''Then, you tried to start a Civil War because ICE agents were arresting and deporting violent illegal alien criminals, and you threw a hissy fit because those violent third-world criminals were your voter base.'' 

Sheriff Margie Gunderson let out a sad, disappointed sigh.

HEADLINE: AMERICA-HATING THIRD-WORLD CORRUPTOCRAT DEMANDS THAT FEDERAL AGENTS LEAVE MPLS

 

MY LATEST POST ''ERIC CARTMAN REPORTS FROM MAMDANI'S SWEARING-IN'' WAS DELETED

 

Well, Google/ Blogger just deleted another post. Apparently,  your bushy-tailed correspondent has VIOLATED their ''community guideliness' again, so I'm going to re-word the post. I thought it was hilarious. 

Here I go again:

One week ago, ''Social-democrat'' Zohran Mamdani was sworn in as New York City's new Mayor. Our cub reporter, Eric Cartman, was on the scene:

Yes, RedSquirrel, I am here, but I'm getting out of here before the Mamdani regime discovers that I'm a White property owner.

(Shouting at the crowd): ''YOU BLANKET-BLANKS VOTED FOR FREE SUBWAY FARES, AND HE HAS ALREADY RAISED THEM TO $3.00!!!! COMMIE FOOLS!!!

Mamdani just said that he wants ro replace the rigidity of rugged individualism with the warmth of collectivism!  I think that means he wants to replace the hustle and bustle if Wall Street with PRISON WORK CAMPS OR SOMETHING. THAT SOUNDS DOWNRIGHT COZY!!!

There are Muslims blocking traffic. HEY YOU!!! GET THE .....................BEFORE SOMEONE..........!!!

He promises city-owned grocery stores. The idiots who voted for mamdani the Commie will probably be standing in line for toilet paper soon. Maybe Mamdani will make RENT cheaper, just like he did for bus and subway fares. Stupid voters.

Well, that's it from here at The Mamdani swearing-in. In the words of former NYC Mayor Edward Koch, who said ''The voters have made their choice, and NOW THEY MUST BE PUNISHED!''

SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M OUTTA HERE!!! BACK TO YOU, REDSQUIRREL......

Red Forman Wishes Everyone A Happy New Year

Dear readers, Happy New Year,  

So, how did Americans and the world celebrate New Year? Did you and your honey go to a New Year's celebration at a local bar or did you curl up on the couch with some champaigne or a pizza? Did you go see a band or watch New Year's Rock N' Eve on the TV?

There are those who believe that celebrating the new year displeases Allah, the ficticious moon idol worshipped by mohammadons with funny beards. Here to comment on this is our Everydad commentator, Red Forman:

Thanks, RedSquirrel....

My excellent wife Kitty and I went to our favorite watering hole with our neighbors, Don and Midge. My smart aleck son Eric and his buddies Hyde, Kelso, and their funny Indian friend, watched Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve in the basement (and probably smoked a doobie at midnight). Idiots.

As Americans and most of the world counted down to The New Year, I checked my Twitter and saw several videos of ''Islamic scholars'' telling us that celebrating New Years is FORBIDDEN, and their imaginary moon idol ''Allah'' will punish anybody celebrating it.

First of all, ''Islamic scholars'' sounds like an oxymoron. These damn mohammadon killjoys hate bacon, pork, dogs, music, smiling, attractive women, bikinis, mascara, and damn near EVERYTHING. These hateful douches need a good boot up the ass!!

These assholes threaten us on tiktok, and tell us they will outbreed us, then take over the Western countries, including The United States of America. Someone tell these ragheads that there's ''a surprise'' behind EVERY blade of grass WAITING FOR THEM IF THEY EVER TRY!!!

Someone tell these inbred doofuses with funny beards that the only thing they will accomplish is PISS US OFF!!!

Well, anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO THE CIVILIZED WORLD, and as for the islamic scholar jerkoffs, I say

'HAPPY NEW YEAR, A$$HOLES!!!'