Friday, May 31, 2024

Top Ten Reasons Why The Far Left Says That Samuel Alito Must Recuse Himself


There they go again. The far left have targetted mild-mannered Supreme Court Justice Sam Alito, pointing and barking at him and an 'Appeal To Heaven' patriot flag his wife raised on their own property. 

The unhinged left are demanding that Judge Alito must recuse himself from any possible Supreme Court decision regarding J6 or Donald Trump.

From our home office in Bovey, Minnesota, Here Are The Top Ten Reasons The Far Left Say That Superme Court Justice Samuel Alito MUST Recuse Himself:


10, He's a Christian.

  9. Biden's Gestapo/ F.B.I. surveilled his home, and caught Alito humming 'God Bless The U.S.A.' while he cooked dinner.

  8. To the far left, Owning a patriotic 'Appeal To Heaven' flag is an ethical scandal.

  7. The Left needs distractions.

  6. He doesn't worship Moloch.

  5.  He has no BLM or Rainbow flags on his property, so he is obviously a racist, homophobic bigot.

  4. Alito must be a NAZI since disapproves of pornography in elementary school libraries.  

  3. He refuses to violate our freedom of speech rights

  2. He supports the Second Amendment.

  1. Leftists believe they are born to tule over us.

Wednesday, May 29, 2024

Judge Juan Merchan's Final Jury Instructions


Our correspondent was at the New York courthouse today, and was there to hear the final instructions from Judge Juan Merchan to the jurors:


As you deliberate on Orange Man's fate, remember that you don't need to be unanimous in your verdict.

If 4 of you agree that Trump is guilty on ficticious charge #1, 4 of you agree on ficticious charge #5, and 4 of you agree on bogus charge #23, that is enough to convict Orange Man Bad and put him away!

You can find Trump 'guilty', 'not guilty', or 'whatever'. I suggest that you find him 'guilty' if you don't want anti-Trump protestors camped out on your front lawns.

If you have ANY trouble reaching a guilty verdict, send me a note, and I will call The Biden White House, and one of his people will deliver a great big suitcase full of large denomination bills. Just tell us how much you want.

Also, you do not need to understand any of these charges, because Me and Alvin can barely understand any of the charges either. Just understand that we have to stop Donald Trump, and take him off the campaign trail. We have a tough, important election coming up in November, and we Democrats have to do what we have to do.

We are determined to put Donald Trump in prison for the rest of his life, so don't dissapoint us. We have 80-year-old actor Robert DeNiro outside yelling like a lunatic. If you don't return with guilty verdicts, I might give him your home addresses. Our democracy depends on YOU THE JURY! If Trump isn't stopped, we will lose our CORRUPTION APPLECART FOREVER!

If you don't come back with guilty verdicts, Donald Trump could steal this election, and if he's in The White House, HE WILL NEVER LEAVE!!! 

You can save America from the Trump dictatorship if you return with guilty verdict(s). Good luck.

Oh, and while you're at it, you can also have Trump's legal team thrown in prison too. Now, GO IN THAT ROOM AND BRING US SOME GUILTY VERDICTS!!!!

 

.......And Then I Saw The N.Y. Post Front Page


 

HEADLINE: ROBERT DENIRO, RAGING BULLSHIT

 


Tuesday, May 21, 2024

SONG PARODY ALERT!!! Motley Crue Drummer Tommy Lee Says He Will Leave The Country If Trump Wins


Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee has announced that he will leave the country if Donald Trump wins re-election. Your bushy-tailed correspondent remembers his band scored a big hit in 1990  with 'Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)

It's almost like the song parodies write themselves:


I might sail away,

 take a  airplane

I night relocate to Canada 

or maybe even Spain

So, if Trump wins 

I will refuse to stay

I will not be able

to hide my dismay


If the voters want a change

I will say, they're just deranged

Make America Great Again?

That just sounds insane


It would be too much to bear

for me, Bruce Springsteen and Cher

If Trump wins, I swear

We might lose our hair


It's not alright, I won't stay

I will leave the country

Leave the U.S.A.

It's not alright, It's not Okay

I'll move away



I read the polls today

and I was dismayed

On CNN they were panicking

They looked sad and afraid

Biden's poll numbers were crashing

and Trump had a big lead

So, I said I'll be leaving 

Because Trump posts mean tweets


That's not alright, not okay

Trump will deport illegal aliens 

and send them away

That's not alright, not okay

Us liberal celebs will 

leave the U.S.A.

That's not alright, not okay

If you fools vote for Trump

I will move away

It's not alright, Don't you care?

How can you vote for him?

I'm having nightmares, OH NO!


(....and now they're saying.......)


Tommy, Don't Go Away Mad, Tommy, Just Go Away

NO!!!!!

Tommy, Don't Go Away Mad. Tommy, Just Go Away

THERE I GO!!!


Tommy, Don't Go Away Mad, Don't Go Away Mad......

Come on Tommy Lee........


Tommy, don't go away mad, Tom, Just go away!

Tommy, don't go away mad, Tom, Just go away!

Tommy, don't go away mad, Tom, just go away!

Tommy, don't go away mad, Tom, just go away!


Tommy Lee, Just go away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 

Monday, May 20, 2024

Joe Biden Is So Evil, It's Almost Biblical

 


1. And in the days before The 2024 presidential election, King Biden's heart was hardened, yelling executive orders against gas-powered cars, and the people groaned. 2. Just as Pharoah Rameses ordered bricks be made without straw, Douche King Biden increased the inflation rate while killing private sector jobs, doubling down on his importation of violent criminal aliens. 

3. His foreign invaders went about, murdering and raping the daughters of America, and when The American People complained, The Douche Emperor Biden laughed and ate an ice cream cone. 

4. The Wicked ruler Biden met with corrupt, racist district attorneys and judges, and they conspired to have his rival Trump imprisoned on fake charges. 5. 'Yea, we shall keep him off the campaign trail in an ice-cold courtroom every day except Wednesday, then challenge him to a debate, and say 'I understand you're free on Wednesday!'

6. Then, Biden said 'We shall please Moloch, and kill the unborn babies' and call it 'choice'.We will shame and embarass those who oppose the slaughter! 7. We shall place cross-dressing weirdos in positions of power, and sodomite perverts shall rule over the land!

8. We will say that mothers and patriots are a threat to democracy, , and we shall imprison and torture the Husbands, and we shall send our gestapo to arrest them in the early morning, then set all the violent criminals free to commit even more violent crimes!

9. And our 2,000 mules shall steal the 2024 election just as they did in the 2020 election, with rigged tallying machines and switched votes. We will say 'those Trump votes belong to Biden! '

10. And the dead shall vote, 11. Scores of llegal aliens and foreign criminals will replace the patriots. And lo, we shall keep our grip on power! 

12. Corrupt, evil King Barack will say 'LO, I AM THE GREAT KING BARACK, AND I  HAVE TRANSFORMED THE COUNTRY INTO A VIOLENT, IMPOVERISHED WAR ZONE, AND SOON I WILL SLAP GOD IN THE FACE!!'

13. Then, King Biden said, 'I will force Americans to wear masks as a slave would, and let unmasked illegal aliens into the country! 14. We will let homeless veterans die on the street while putting illegal aliens up in luxury hotels, and make the taxpayer pay for their stay! 15. And we will force Americans to pay for healthcare, and give it to illegal aliens for free!!!

16. Finally, we the rulers shall empty the coffers, and spend all the money extravegantly, and bribe each other. just as we engage in insider trading and money laundering. We will laugh while The People groan. And why not? Surely, we are greater than the peasants!

Monday, May 13, 2024

Red Forman Comments On The Pro-Hamas College Protests

 


Here to add his 2 cents of common sense commentary is RSR's resident EveryDad, Red Forman:


Thanks, RedSquirrel.

I was checking out my Twitter timeline, and I am seeing videos of all these pro-Palestine / Hamas protests on college campuses, and it looks like a lot of idiots need a foot up their ass! Anti-Semetic jerks are keeping Jewish students out of libraries? Damned brownshirts. I can't believe this is happening in America!

This is what the commie, America-hating professors are teaching? If my kids, son Eric and daughter Laurie, acted like hateful Nazi jerk-offs I'd stop payment on their tuition check and kick myself in the ass for not checking out the college.

These masked creeps should be shipped off to Gaza. I'll bet most of them are paid agitators. Everybody gets a professionally-printed sign with some bullshit about a country that's never existed. The chants of HATE against our friends in Israel gets me fightin' mad.

'Free Palestine'? Demanding a cease-fire? Funny, you weren't demanding a cease-fire when the psychotic Hamas animals were murdering Jewish familes and raping AND murdering Jewish girls.

Spoiled brats.

Did you see the hunger strike at Princeton? They're eating after only a few days. I went on a hunger strike yesterday that lasted about 4 hours, then I barbequed some nice steaks for myself and my spectacular wife KItty. PFFFFT!!!

I liked seeing those college fratboys take down the Palestinian flag and raise The Stars and Stripes! My theory is that most patriots are tall and handsome boys and the Jew-haters are the way they are because they're ugly and nobody likes them. They're just like the butt-ugly AntiFa terrorists when the police release their mugshots.

I DO have a problem with the way the police are breaking up the pro-terrorist demonstrations. I say the police should HIT THEM HARDER! I wouldn't complain if the cops KICKED SOME ASS OUT THERE!!!

Heck, my problem with police brutality is THERE ISN'T NEARLY ENOUGH OF IT!!! Getting your ass kicked for your support for these assholes who behead Jewist babies should be an important part of your college education! I bet your local National Guard feels a little left out! Let them in on the fun!

Well, that's it for now. This is Red Forman. Over and out.

(HEY, YOU IDIOTS....YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE SMOKING DOPE DOWN THERE, OR I'LL STICK MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS!!! Heh, heh, heh......kids.)


Sunday, May 12, 2024

Ted Koppel: Once Again, Deplorable Joe Deal has Been 'Partially' Suspended From Twitter


This is Nightline, with host Ted Koppel:


Good evening. Joe Deal, known on Twitter as 'Deplorable' Joe Deal, has been partially suspended from Twitter. Again.

He was logged in to Twitter/X Thursday night, and viewed the horrifying video of a man following a woman down a city sidewalk, 'lassoing' her throat with his belt, snapping her head back before taking the unconscious woman between two parked car and sexually assaulting her.

Deal tweeted 'Put the psychotic animal in the electric chair.' Ten minutes later, he discovered that he had once again broken Twitter's capricious and rediculous RULES against violent hate speech against violent, psychopathic criminals. Apparently, some people do not hate violent rapists, and those people work at Twitter.

WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS WRONG WITH TWITTER/X ANYWAYS? DO THEY UNDERSTAND 'CONTEXT?'

If someone tweeted that mass-murdering dictator Hitler deserved to be executed, would the LOONEY, ULTRA-SENSITIVE SNOWFLAKES at Twitter suspend the individual who tweeted it? 

Societies put violent criminals to death all the time. We don't really consider capitol punishment as 'violence', but a remedy for evil acts. The people at Twitter don't seem to know this.

Joe Deal, who blogs as The RedSquirrel Report, has seen his Twitter account in various states of suspension 3 times in the last 5 years. He is allowed to read posts on his timeline, but he's not allowed to post for 7 days. In Twitterworld, that's like a political prisoner being allowed visitors as long as he or she doesn't do any speaking.

So, on Day 3 of Joe Deal's 7-day partial Twitmo suspension, he counts down the days when he can tweet again. Until then, He could file an appeal.

From the staff here at Nightline this is Ted Koppell. Goodnight.

Friday, May 10, 2024

The Quote Of The Day

 



Hollywood actor Jeff Daniels: 'Midwesterners are done with Trump's lack of decency.'

Wednesday, May 8, 2024

Luke Skywalker Joins The Dark Side


Last Friday, actor Mark Hamill (known to most people as Luke Skywalker) joined Biden Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre and took part in the daily White Houe Press Briefing. 

Here is some of what he said:


All hail The Empire! All hail Evil Emperor George Soros Palpatine! All hail Joe the Senile, Corrupt Liar!!!!! ALL HAIL THE DARK SIDE!!!

I am here to throw my support for Joe Biden, for he brings us rampant illegal immigration, human trafficking, illegal drugs, and violent murderers and rapists! I support Criminals, Communists, and Cross-dressers!!!! ALL HAIL THE DARK SIDE!!!

I want Donald Trump to be taken off the campaign trail and buried in carbonite or a COURT ROOM!!!

I hope that Joe Biden wins re-election, and that his SECOND ADMINISTRATION continues to resemble The Star Wars bar scene, with trans activists and cross-dressing weirdos like Sam Brinton, Rachel Levine, and Pete Buttigieg remaining in positions of power!

Inflation is down, the economy is great!!!! CNN IS THE NEWS!!!! Believe in our leftist media Jedi Mind Control Trick, you weak-minded nobodies!

I believe in 'The Force'. That is, I believe in 'forcing' Americans to give up gas stoves, FORCING THE AMERICAN PEOPLE TO BUY ELECTRIC CARS, and I support the end of the American dream....

I also support forcing Americans to wear masks, getting Covid shots, and forcing The American People to give up meat!

YOU WILL OWN NOTHING, AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY!!!!

I also support Biden because he will let Chewbacca into women's locker rooms!

I support Biden's Justice Department Stormtroopers throwing the j6 insurrectionist rebels in his D.C. gulags. THE REBELS ARE A THREAT TO THE OBIDEN EMPIRE!!!

Also, I support Order 67, the abortion of the younglings right up to the date of birth! Our great Emperor believes this executive order will give him the women's vote!

May 'THE FORCE' be with you....SUCKERS!!!!


Tuesday, May 7, 2024

Harvard Pro-Hamas Puppet Protestor Achmed Goes On Hunger Strike


Across the country, Jew-hating college students, professors, and leftist agitators are protesting against Israel and The West. Some of these trouble-makers are now going on hunger strikes. Today, we meet one of these protesters (We'll call him Achmed):

DEATH TO THE INFIDEL! DEATH TO ISRAEL!!!! DEATH TO AMERICA!!!! FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE!! 

Hey hey, ho ho, THE ZIONIST OCCUPIERS HAVE GOT TO GO!!! DOCTOR DOCTOR, GIVE ME THE NEWS....WE'RE GOING TO KEEEEEL ALL THE JEWS!!!!

We demand the colleges cave in to our demands!!! I go on a hunger strike until the infidel submit to ISLAM!!!! i will starve myself until Harvard divests from The Jewish State!!!!

STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KEEEEEEL YOU!!!!!!!

Did you see that 400 pound college girl declaring her hunger strike? STOP LAUGHING AT HER!!!!!

Now, many of the colleges are cancelling their graduation ceremonies, and it looks like many of the college student protesters won't be getting their diplomas. They are going to be denied their high-paying jobs  promised to them. Many of us will find ourselves going on an INVOLUNTARY HUNGER STRIKE! DAMN YOU AMERICA!!!! STOP LAUGHING!!!!!!!

I'm only kidding. Our Jewish Communist Sugar Daddy George Soros is paying us to protest, and we get to keep our homeless tents and pre-printed protest signs. It's also a good thing President Biden is forgiving our student loans!

I'm glad they hate America almost as much as we do!

Damn those racist frat boys who pulled down the beautiful Palestinian flag and raised That grotesque American flag. THEY SHOULD GO TO HELL FOR INSULTING ISLAM!!!!

We stop the Jewish students from getting to their classes because classes at my college are graded on a curve AND I'M SICK OF SMART KIDS DRIVING DOWN MY G.P.A.! GETTING GOOD GRADES IS RACIST!!!!! STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When the police arrest us, they take our masks off. Then they see why we wear masks. WE'RE JUST AS UGLY AS THE FASCIST ANTIFA THUGS!!! STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!!!! I KEEEEEEEEL YOU!!!

We want Israel out of Gaza, The Jews out of Israel, and The Americans OUT OF AMERICA!!!!! Until then, I GO ON HUNGER STRIKE!!!!

STOP LAUGHING AT ME, OR I KEEEEEL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Wednesday, May 1, 2024

Our NYC Correspondent Jackie Mason Reports From The Trump 'Hush Money' Trial


On April 22, opening arguments began in the bogus 'Hush Money' trial of Presidential candidate Donald Trump. He is accused of trying to prevent negative press (a supposed affair with porn star Stormy Daniels) from going public. In other words, he was running a political campaign.

Our busy New York correspondent Jackie Mason is here, and files this report:


Hello RedSquirrel, and all you mensches!

Oy vey! On Day 2 of this bogus Donald Trump Trial in Manhattan,  fat paskudnik Alvin Bragg was still pushing the charge that The Trumpster engaged in an illegal scheme to pay porn star Stormy Daniels so-called 'hush money' to hide a ficticious affair, and somehow that is a feloney while it's not even a crime!

The prosecution's star witness, serial perjurer putz Michael Cohen admitted that HE paid Daniels, and that Trump knew nothing about it.

These creepy jerks have real chutzpah , twisting the laws like a pretzel and charging Trump with a made-up 'campaign finance' crime.  This whole thing shtunks.

They call it 'hush-money' if Donald Trump supposedly does it, but it's a 'non-disclosure agreement' when anyone else does it? This is kanfiuzing. This is so downright fercockt!!!!

Also, that creepy judge Merchan has ordered a gag order on Trump, so Trump can't say what a bunch of corrupt, lying, sleazebag pishers the persecutors are, while The Trumpster's rotten, corrupt enemies can say whatever they want. This isn't just unfair, it's downright banana republic SCHMEGEGGE!!!

Merchan's daughter is making money off of this rediculous circus! What a bunch of defective people! Any normal, decent American should have contempt for THIS COURT!

The creepy judge tried to tell Trump that he couldn'r go to see his son Barron graduate from high school! Trump should tell the pisher judge to GO TO HELL!

Well, that's it from The Donald Trump 'Hush Money' Bullshit Trial here in downtown Manhattan, Back to you.