(SONG PARODY ALERT!!!) Frank Sinatra: If Zohran Mamdani Wins, I'm Leaving New York, New York

Start spreading the news, T'm leaving today

I'm getting the Hell out of HERE, New York, New York

The commie leads in the polls, and I'm refusing to stay 

He'll destroy our businesses, in New York, New York

The voters had better wake up or we will be royally screwed

Zohran Mamdani hates police and Jews

You better pull your head out, or your freedom will melt away

The crime's out of control in New York

If you elect Zolran, I'm loading the moving van, 

GOODBYE TO YOU, NEW YORK, NEW YORK!!!!!

GOODBYE NEW YORK!!!!!

I'm leaving the city where violent psychos rule the streets

There will be no more police, no groceries

No private property, Just anti-Semitic CREEPS

I'VE.....LOADED THE MOVING VAN, I'M GOING AWAY

I'M GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE, NEW YORK, BEW YORK

(IF MAMDANI IS ELECTED)

THE U-HAUL IS PULLING AWAY, I CAN'T WAIT ANOTHER DAY

I'M LEAVING YOU, NEW YORK, NEW YORK! 

Our NYC Correspondent Jackie Mason Reports On The Mayoral Campaign

A few weeks ago, Communist-Socialist-Islamist- Jew-Hater Zohran Mamdani won the Democrat Mayoral Primary, defeating former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo and current Mayor Eric Adamss.

Mamdani is promising city-ran grocery stores, free medical care, and he supports the worldwide Intafada AGAINST Jews. He sounds like a Communist Genie, ready to grant everyboy's wishes while never telling ANYBODY just how much it will cost. His voters are mostly brainwashed,  anti-Semitic college students, while Black and working-class voters voted AGAINST him.

Here to comment on this mayoral race is our NYC Correspondent, Jackie Mason:

Thank you, Red Mensch,

OY VEY!!! WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO MY BEAUTIFUL BIG APPLE???? Only 30 years ago we elected Rudy Guliani as Mayor, and he defeated the criminals and turned the city around! Then, Michael Bloomberg followed in Guliani's COMMON SENSE footsteps, and ran the city quite competently!

Then the voters elected defective commie schliemiel Bill De Blasio, and the businesses left.  Current Mayor Eric Adams is a former cop and he's fighting crime, and it's looking like the voters prefer crime and communism.

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???? IT FEELS LIKE ALL THE REAL NEW YORKERS HAVE BEEN REPLACED BY CRIMINALS AND AMERICA-HATING PUTZES! Have the voters gone completely MESHIGGAH WANTING THIS DIRTY-ROTTEN, ANTI-SEMITE COMMIE PISHER?

This MESHUGANAH  FONFERER (DOUBLE-TALKER) Zohran Mandani promises to bring MARXISM to New York City, and wants to DO AWAY WITH THE NYC POLICE DEPARTMENT!!! This communist bufoon wants to abolish personal ownership. You know what's it's called when you're deprived of the fruits of your labor?????

That's called SLAVERY!!!!!!!!!!!!WAKE UP!!!!

He is introducing another rediculous idea. He wants city-owned, city-ran grocery stores. That should go over about as well as THE FEEDING OUR FUTURE FRAUD IN MINNEAPOLIS. It goes like this: The crooks in the government uses the program to defraud the taxpayers, and the corrupt friends and supporters of the crooked government officials are rewarded for supporting the crooks in the government! 

The owners of privately-owned grocery stores are already planning to pull up stakes and leave the city! OY VEY!!! There's a bunch of defective dumkopfs that will vote for this IDIOTIC COMMIE SILLINESS!

There is ONE CANDIDATE that I'm supporting, CURTIS SLIWA. He's a total MENSCH (good guy) and he'll fight crime! He started The Guardian Angels, and he'll look out for you and your neighbors. Now, do the voters want a total mensch OR the anti-Semetic, communist creep? WE'LL SEE.

Thank you.

HEADLINE: MPLS. DFL ENDORSE SOMALI LEFTIST OMAR FATEH THEIR MAYORAL CANDIDATE AND IS THAT A MASK????!!!!

 

CBS CANCELS COLBERT: THE BIGGEST DOUCHE ON TV IS 'IRREPLACEABLE'

 

HEADLINE: MN. DEMOCRAT SEN. NICOLE MITCHELL TRIAL BEGINS

 

THIS WEEK'S RSR POLL: DO YOU PREFER THE NEW CRAPPY MINNESOTA STATE FLAG OR THE CLASSIC STATE FLAG?

 

There seems to be a controversy with the new state flag in Minnesota. It bears a striking resemblence to the National Flag of Somalia, and many counties outside of the Twin Cities are refusing to DISPLAY IT. While the new flag offends normal outstate Minnesotans, the old flag offended the America-hating, third-world residents and leftists residing in the Twin Cities.

We are taking a poll. Which flag do you prefer and WHY?

Here's the OLD MINNESOTA STATE FLAG. There is an Indian (Native American) riding a horse and a White farmer tending to the fields. This offends the communists, crooks, and cross-dressers who dominated state politics just before The Republicans broke the Democrats' Trifecta last November:

Here is the NEW MINNESOTA STATE FLAG. Some of us refer to the new flag as 'THAT SHITTY new flag that resembles The SOMALI NATIONAL FLAG. We're not sure if that WHITE THING is THE NORTH STAR or if it's A GAPING ASSHOLE, so IT could be a tribute to the taxpayers of Minnesota. 

We think it could just be a SYMBOL of what it feels like to BE SCREWED OVER BY THE STATE AND FEDERAL GOVERNMENT (AND SEE YOUR MONEY SENT TO COMMUNIST GOVERNMENT SCHOOL UNIONS OR TO SOMALI CRIMINALS DEFRAUDING THE AMERICAN TAXPAYERS). The colors of the new Minnesota state flag are very cold (like we NEEDED to be reminded that SOMETIMES our weather will try to KILL us):

We'll announce the results of our poll at the end of the month.

AG BONDI: 'CLIENT LIST? I MEANT TO SAY I HAD A GROCERY LIST ON MY DESK'

 

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY, AMERICA!!!

We want to wish everyone a Happy Independence Day.

First, I want to wish our terrific President Donald Trump a very Happy 4th of July / Indpendence Day. We here at RSR think he is doing a very good job. I want to give a shout-out to The Republicans in The House of Representatives and The Senate with the successful passage of The 'Big Beautiful Bill'.

I do not wish to make The Democrats feel left out. After all, criminals, corruptocrats, crooks, communists. creeps, and cross-dressers should also feel free to celebrate The Birth of America.

I also wish a Happy Independence Day to all the former Prisoners falsely imprisoned by The former Biden Regime. I consider these patriots 'former hostages' and we know they were not insurrectionists at all. The video at The Capitol on J6 shows us they acted more like TOURISTS than insurrectionists.

I wish a Happy Independence Day to all the anti-Trump protestors and everyone lashing out because Kamala LOST THE ELECTION. Let me say I feel your pain. I wish a Happy Independence Day to everyone BRAINWASHED by communist, America-hating professors at an American university, and I hope and pray that all of you will someday get your head out of your ass.

Also, I wish a Happy 4th of July to all the anti-Semitic, leftist looneybirds who voted for New York Mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani, and I hope your get your heads out before Election Day.

Also, I wish a happy Independence Day to the race-baiters and grifters at B.L.M. If you demand the rest of us pay reparations for slavery, I say to you  in the most friendly way possible  'Go fuck yourselves.'

I give an Independence Day SHOUT-OUT to all the greats in conservative media and to the great thinkers who influence me, such as the late Rush Limbaugh. I also give a shout-out to great thinkers like Thomas Sowell and Senator Ted Cruz.

I also wish a wonderful Independence Day to ithe lntellectual soul of modern liberalism, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.......

Finally, I wish a happy Independence Day to all who are here legally. THANK YOU FOR OBEYING OUR LAWS!!!! 

This is The RedSquirrel. Over and out.